Alot of times when girls ask a guy out they kinda forget that there is a possibility that they guy might not like them as much as they do. I don't say that it's always the case but from what I'm reading from other girls asking that's the feeling that I get.
Guys like the idea of being asked out by girls. It's an ego boost just like for girls and we are less likely to turn down a girl that we like than girls do because we have less *preoccupations* (for lack of better word).
The main problem here is that asking people out is pretty much a numbers game ... you know that you are gonna get hurt at one point and every guy knows that. Girls however seems to think (in my opinion) that when you ask a guy out things are supposed to get somewhat easier because they made the first move.
Here is how it works (keep in mind that is only my opinion but I think a lot of guys agree):
1- if the guy really likes you he will not hesitate to say yes
2- if he likes you but is not sure that you like him, he will probably say yes anyway, unless you managed to freak him out big time.
3- if he only sees you as a friend he will still say yes but won't see it as a romantic outing unless you made your intentions really clear (in that case look for #4).
4- if he doesn't like you he will simply make an excuse not to hang out with you or be very direct about it.
Of course it's not always the exact scenario but you have the main lines.
One more thing ... guys lose interest too ... if you take too long to show you interest, nothing garantees that he won't move on to that next girl that could've been you.
To be honest, the whole asking out thing is just a numbers and guessing game. You have to practice to get better and more comfortable with it. Some guys like aggressive girls, others dont. But you will never know until you ask. And if the guy freaks out it only means that the attraction wasn't as strong as you thought it was.
I encourage girls to ask guys more often because it shows confidence and we all know that confidence is sexy and the other reason is that they get to understand what guys have to go through and this stops being such a double standard.
Good luck with your new guy,
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in high school we had a saddy hawkins dance thing, you know how it goes, girl asks the guy...
well, it was cancelled, it "put too much pressure on the girls" and I all could think:
"yeah, because it puts none on us to ask girls out!"
if more girls asked out guys, the world could possibly be a better place,
the dating world should not be the one-way street it is
guys who depend on girls to ask them out want you to do it because they are afraid of asking you out. it would be nice if girls and guys could ask each other out equally, but typically when a girl does it, she unconsciously lowers her value. if you notice, the girls that guys fall head over heels for, are not the ones who initiated everything and asked him out usually. it doesn't mean you have to play hard to get but usually if a guy doesn't ask you out there is a reason he didn't. being paralyzed by fear is not a good reason IMO. if you smile and show interest and you still have to ask it's not good. guys like girls like that because well obviously when we do that we make it easier to go out with us, but that doesn't mean they respect us anymore or give us the same value. if you notice all the guys that agree with it say it makes it EASIER but does easier mean better? guys value girls they had to "work" for more. not saying he had to go on impossible quests, but you know...i know from experience, seeing my friends relationships that started like that, I mean even my dad put me on game. it might help you initially but if you are looking for more or the possibility then its always good to have as high value as you can
it depends usually but some guys (lik you're shy guy) lik it for a girl to ask them out because it shows how bold and confident you are. its true some guys find it overwhelming for a girl to ask them out
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I guess it really depends on what type of guy it is and how mature he is. I remember back in High school when a girl asked me out I felt awkward and felt pretty much obligated to say yes. Later in college another girl asked me out but this time I felt so relieved I didn’t have to make the first move. To me it showed how brave and confident the girl was and for me this was a turn on. She was a really out going girl and I liked that. So I guess what I’m trying to say is go for it. Just because the social standard says otherwise don’t let it disrupt your plans. Besides if things go sour there’s always more guys.
If the girl makes the first move, that makes my job a whole lot easier. But it can go both ways. Some guys might not like it becuase they might be afraid to tell you to stop or that they don't like you like that. For me, I'm confident and would tell you to stop if it made me uncomfortable. So if you made the first move and I was interested, I would love it.
i agree with the other guys. the world would be a lot easier if girls asked us out. if the guy likes you then there shouldn't be a problem.
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