Why are girls so into you one minute then the next avoid you like you're the plague?
I mean I know inside girls go crazy emotionally... is it to try show they are strong? Don't they know a guy has feelings, too? How can a girl go... Show More
Most Helpful Opinion
i do that all the time. as soon as he shows interest I ignore him :-/
fear of rejection & commitment, it's pretty simple.
if you want her to open up again, you have to make clear that you like her and that you're totally serious.
she might also doubt how serious you are, so she pretends you don't exist and waits to see how much effort you put in getting back to her.
either way, what I mentioned above will work out :)
What Girls Said 62
not all girls like that. we can be emotionally stable or not. depends on the person.
Low blow, however broke your confidence.
Sometimes the feeling you thought was there just vanishes -- or wasn't really there to begin with. At certain times of the month, girls are biologically programmed to be horny/seek out a mate. Really. So a girl may be strongly inclined to locate some eye candy, flirt like crazy and form an attachment. HOWEVER, because all the hormones are tamped down by logic, concerns they learned about STD, untimely pregnancy, and other responsibilities guys tend not to think about when they hit a horny patch, it seems like girls just switch off. It's not from a lack of wanting a guy, but from concerns based on logic and experience.
If I were you, I'd wait for someone worth waiting for, as in someone who will not play head games ike many people have already mentioned, someone who will tell you straight up how she feels, although that can be difficult
maybe they found something out that they didn't like. or was offended in some way. yes we girls over analyze everything!
your right we are emotional. I use to play mind games with this boy. And it would be so much fun to get him upset. I guess I did that because I hated that I liked him, so in someways I could have my cake and eat it to. I liked this guy so much that I couldn't show it. I could only show hate. I was embarrassed to show that I liked him. I didn't want to like him. I hated him and I just wanted to cause him pain for the hell of it He did somethings I didn't like and I wanted to get back at him. It was fun cause he believed things I told him. I think the girl whos doing this cold shoulder thing likes you and she wants you to talk to her badly. I never did think about his feelings, I didn't care. It was all about me. she could be mad that you won't came and talk to her. Or it could be my crazy reason. I have a strong feeling that she wants you to chase her, and make her feel wanted. Well I hope you can solve this problem. Good luck :)
Maybe she's trying to get over you.
Well it really depends I mean I do that ONLY if the guy starts acting tht way to me!
well, this is what I think. cause I think I am doing the same thing to the guy I like.
anyway, well. the guy I like has known that I liked him for about 10 weeks now.
well, the thing is. there are different possibilities.
1. She has lost interest in you.
The one thing everyone hates to hear. She has lost interest in you. She might think that she has been waiting for too long or maybe she got to know you and your personality and realised that it is not what she thought and wanted. Again, don't ignore her. Be friends. You might never know when she starts liking you again. Women are like that. We are indecisive.
2. She is embarassed
Haha. So me. Well. the thing is she doesn't know that you like her. If she did, she would have probably pursued and you wouldn't have this problem. Now, she doesn't know that you like her. She might think that you don't care about her that way. She might feel like a fool for even pursuing someone who doesn't feel the same way. So, she uses the 'i am emotionally strong' face. She doesn't want to show you that she gets hurt easily. She is not clear about who you like. So, this is basically because she doesn't wanna look like a fool.
3. She wants you to make the effort.
Again, the play hard to get scenario. She might be playing hard to get by making herself look uninterested in you to see whether you would pursue her. Some girls will make you chase them for quite a long time. Some girls may make you chase them for a short period of time. Again, be aware of the situation. If she plays REALLY hard to get, she might not be a girl that you should be chasing.
I guess, you have to read the signs. If she looks at you a lot, she does like you and wants you to chase her. Well, I hope this helped. Based on my experience anyway.
Sometimes girls are TOTALLY into a guy..Like ther head of heels for them. But once they get to know them more..they don't like the way they are (like too clingy etc) so they ignore them. Then they complaiin and say "Jeeze, why won't he leave me alone" the next day. And its just the way we are (not all girls) Its just tht if we get over a guy..we want him to get over us too..otherwise we find it too creepy. But anyway bottom line is..If we like you one day and we don't the next day..its because we found something out bout you or discovered something from ur personality tht we don't like and wanna get away from.
Honestly, when a guy hits on a girl...and the girl is not interested...she sometimes feel awkward when she sees you again. I do it also, a guy @ my job tried to hit on me--I avoided him like the plauge because he was like old enough to be my father--BUT THAT'S ANOTHER STORY! =(
Sometimes a girl may say she has a boyfriend...because that makes her more desirable in the OTHER guys eyes. Hey, its only normal to want something that someone else has.
If I was you...I would move on from this girl. She seems to be shy but following you around like a puppy is a little wierd. You have to determine wether she is worht your time or not. I think she isn't...but if you want to find out...just confront her! ASK her...
I was like that, the difference being that this girl is veeeery shy.
But then she's proven she ain't as shy because she obviously followed you around.
Once you approached her she realized how she screwed things up, in that now you
know that she followed you and that = to really really...really liking you. And that p*sses her off or just simply makes her feel stupid and awkward around you. But trust me, she still likes you, how can I possibly know this, I don't know 100% but am damn sure she likes you. I just tell you because I did the same thing and so has every girl in this cite in knowing your schedule and 'accidentally' bumping into you. But you caught her, approached her and now she doesn't know what you think but trust me, she's dying to know. Next time you see her, stare her straight in the eye while smiling at her. That will make her feel better in that you both share the same attraction. Make your move when she keeps the eye contact and smiles.
im a girl who does this. its called teasing them to see how you guys really feel about them
well often girls are indesisive. another thing could be that she was just attracted to u. and then realizeed that she really didn't like u. ( no offense) Attraction to a person can be blinding, And then all the sudden we realize, o man I'm really not into this guy at all. better that way then end in a seriouse relashionship with a person who was only attracted to u. people let it fog their judgement , & end up having to have a hard break up or divorce. because usually attraction doesn't lead to greatness, unless another element is involved.
Several options. As always. But I guess its up to you to see which one you want.
She could be unsure how you feel. She could be insecure and not think that you would want her. Very shy if she does like you and you get a cold response when you talk to her.
OR and I could be wrong on this but she might not be interested at all. Has noticed you checking her out and can feel you like her but doesn't want anymore hence the mentioning a boyfriend.
Im guilty of saying that when I want to get male attention off my back. BUT I could be very wrong. If a guy is keen on me and I'm not keen on them I will ask them for advice on males. BUT lot of males cannot be stopped. They will keep trying.
For girls, guys always seem sweet and nice at 1st than boom the guy changes , and some girls don't like that change. For me if a guy seems like a player or I find something about him that is unexceptable like being a killer or a spy than I just stop talking to them. The reason I don't tell them is becasue guys are really good sweet talkers and plus if you ask them something or try and tell them they can just denie it like always. Also for some girls the best cover is to say that they have a boyfriend when they are single becasue it seems like a nice way to tell a guy your not interested. Also maybe she really did like you but you came off way to stronge or wanted to move too fast , she probabaly wants to talk to you but is afraid of what the conversation will lead to.
Maybe she´s not actually into you. This happened to me last week. I have a friend, and that's all he was to me. I was nice to him and liked hanging out with him, then he decides to ask me out... ever since then I have not talked to him or seen him. We had a good friendship and I don´t know what made him ask me out. Move slow and make sure she´s really into you.
i think she's shy and doesn't know what to say. try confronting her and tell her how you feel. then she'll be force to answer you. she probly just likes you so much she gets caught up whenever sh's near you...
i act like this.
its mainly because we like to play hard to get.
and no girls like me don't think boys have feelings lol.
your gona have to show her how you really feel
She likes you
You said she has a boyfriend? She probably really does. I bet she's interested in you, and that's why you picked up those signals like her blushing, etc. However, the fact is she isn't ready to part with her boyfriend (and if you ask me, you should respect that, unless for example, he's a total abusive turd), and you being persistent scared her away. She's basically afraid of falling for you and ruining her current relationship, so she's avoiding you. She doesn't want to be MEAN because she does like you, but she won't be nice either because that will encourage you. She probably just wishes that you would avoid her too, so she can forget about you and get on with her life.
You know what!
Sometimes its the guy that gives off the wrong signals! I know I do it because guys make me feel like an idiot so to avoid looking like one I just avoid them :)
if you did something wrong to her, to make her all of a sudden hate you, her reaction would be to get revenge. she'd try to get you jealous and make you feel like you did the wrong thing, and regret what you did to her. she'd want an apology. but in some cases deep down inside her heart she still likes you. to get a guy jealous or to stop liking me, I'd say I already have a boyfriend. some girls just say yes then like break up a few hours later just so tht she wouldn't have to say no to your face.
or maybe she wants you to come to her. I normally like it when boys make the first move. but this may sometimes offend a girl.
and try to gett to know her more. gett her to open up to you. and by the way, do leave the conversation hanging. always have a topic. otherwise it'll be very awkward.
and if all els fails, just ask her. why would she hate you? if you're too scared/embarrassed then ask her bestfriend, she'd more then likely tell her everything.
I know girls are very confusing and complicated to guys and vice versa. This girl's running hot and cold as she's confused too... But the best thing to do is just be straightforward and talk about it with her. Communication often solves problems.
And the boyfriend thing? It's an effective defense mechanism. We don't want the guy to know so we lie about having a boyfriend in case we do something that'll make it obvious. I once used it was because people kept bullying me about liking someone, so I lied to get them to leave me alone. But I wouldn't worry about the lying about a boyfriend. Just ask and you'll find out.
Hope this helped :)
Like the song says, if you want her to go after you, just walk the other way...
So I've been IN LOVE with a guy for a couple of years and he used to be my friend b4 but a lot stuff happened and I don't know how he feels so I jsut totally ignore him and act liek he doesn't even exsist and when he looks at me I just stare and break away really fast and I jsut wish he was upfront about how he felt because that would ake my life a lot easier!
Well some of us are emotional roller coasters and we go through ups and downs but on the fllp side we play hard to keep you interested. Its about the chase, I know I start fights (small ones) just to see if my guy is still interested and will put an effort into making sure I'm happy. Its just a test...dont worry...we don't mean too (smirk)
If a girl suddenly starts avoiding you, its likely that you have done something to scare her away. You should probably just talk to her and ask her why she's ignoring you or just move on if she obviously isn't interested any more.
well girls can say the same thing about guys that is happening to me right now... it just depends on how the person is and if your really into them and them not being into you as much as you are to them ... maybe you liked her way to much and she didn't like it or something
We girl's have... a really good imagination, and we always make the end of the world out of something really small, unlike you. Or sometimes trying to play hard-to-get, without a good effect though. But trust me - we always end up as the ones that cries their heart out at the end - sometimes without any good reason in fact. It's strange - the way we are so complicated while you boys attend to keep it so simple - irony x)
Reply on the "What I would like to know from girls" - I did that couple of times when I didn't like the guy, but didn't want to hurt him or anything, but never when I actually liked the guy - that is more the hard-to-get game that I find really boring.
My tip - try to win the girl - that is the thing that she really want's - someone to fight for her!
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What Guys Said 31
Probably because they found a deal breaker that is unique to them. I wouldn't worry about it. If one girl looses interest, then on to the next one.
Can you give us some more details of the situation? How did she show she was into you? What did you do once you knew she was into you?
Maybe she heard a bad rumor about you.
There is three options
1) You either look really desperate and didn't take it slowly.
2) You didn't seem interested enough and she though you were not interested on her, so she got mad at you and just left, or something really weird to scare her off
3) She is incredibly shy.
I will say number 3 though, rational people will talk to you no matter what. I am almost sure she is not like that with other people, and if she is she is no good for you.
A lot of girls really don't know what they want, and they change their mind based upon their mood. This is at least what I've noticed.
LOL. Girls probably think about guys the same way as they think about desserts. At first they see the strawberry shortcake, and they think that looks really nice and tempting. But then, they say to themselves, "But it has a lot of calories and will make me fat," so at the last minute, they decide not to eat it. Or they take a bite and then stop.
One minute the cake is a good thing, the next it's a bad thing.
Some girls like to just have the cake in front of them, even though they know they're going to say no. Other girls try to not even look at the cake, because they're afraid they're going to say yes.
Guys on the other hand immediately decide whether they want to eat the cake or not, and then they do so for-better-or-worse. Even if we later realize we made the wrong decision, we try not to admit it.
BC they're women and that's what they do to guys that let them get away with it. Find a new one.
If no alcohol was envolved in either case..
Then in most cases the guy became too clingy...
Or sometimes she met someone else.. but most cases the guy became too clingy...
I tend to not get involved with girls like this.. if she's gets scared and runs off then she's frankly crazy.. I have no time to spend trying to "convince" a girl I'm interested in them.. I've done it too many times in the past and there were always 2 outcomes..
1: She gets bored with you and finds another guy.. (its a mirical I know all a sudden she's not scared of getting hurt)
2: She comes back to you before getting scared again and running off, and the whole cycle repeats itself
In both case the women cares nothing for your feelings in the matter.. after all if a women really liked you why would she do somthing that hurt you?.. the answer is she wouldnt.. she would get over her fears..
But the big question si WHY would you want to convince a women like that.. after all dating a women is all about finding the one girl.. if she runs in the early stanges what's she going to be like if you ever get marrid or have kids? will she run EVERY time life gets hard.. could you trust a women like that to pull her weight in the relationship.. I would say no you cant
Leave her alone for another guy to deal with
They're girls. They're weird like that. BAM BEST ANSWER!
I had a nearly identical situation happen to me. She was interested no doubt, then ignored me and told me she got back together with her bf. She also did something really mean to me which I won't get into here, but lets just say she apologized 5 months too late and after I reminded her...needless to say, she's an asshole and even though I told her I want to remain friend, I don't consider her one. As much as I liked her I know I can never feel the same way about her since she is an ass. I would say you can try to be friends, but like some of the other guys have said, don't fool yourself. It is vastly more probable that nothing will happen. For whatever reason girls like this just don't get it, and they deserve not to get any of you!
You need to move on from girls that do this and don't be friends with them. She KNOWS that you are chasing her and she is getting her fix, not to mention boosting her ego. She is wasting your time playing these games, and sooner or later you will see her with someone else, and that will hurt even more. Don't talk to her again, your time is more valuable. Start dating other girls. If she tries to talk to you, say you have something to do and leave her standing there, stay busy. By doing this you stay a mystery, unpredictable, thus making her attracted to you. By telling your feelings you show your cards too quickly and you are no longer a challenge so never do that. These are the advantages that the bad boys have compared to the nice guys, and nice guys finish last. Girls get attention from guys all the time, so they wonder why someone doesn't pay attention to them when it happens. Be confident and move on. Don't be upset or hold any grudges, just have fun and live your life. It's call self esteem for a reason. Stop focusing on this girl or any 1 girl and focus on yourself. It's a game, but in this game, it's not how you play it's whether you win or lose. Change your game man.
It's because you probably flirted with her one day and then didn't f*** her, then the next day she thinks "oh f*** I shouldnt have been so horny with him, what a slut I am, next time I'm putting my guards up." In the mood the moment its okay, but when she's you didn't f*** her, she thinks it was all her fault for acting so sexy with u, ya know. She thinks you don't like her. But if ya f***ed her, then its a whole different story, where she will fall in love with you haha!
Its called "cat string theory."
If you wave a piece of string in front of yoru cats face then pull it away, your cat is mesmerized by it. However, if you actually give the cat the string, she sniffs it once then looks away.
Humans are like the cat, we like the shiny thing that is just out of our reach, we like to pursue, we are tantalized by what retreats from us when we reach for it.
In this case, you are the string, the girl is the cat. Next time, maybe let her enjoy chasing you, let her wonder, unsure if she can get you or not for a little while.
Just a thought.
And byw, it does not sound like things went very far between you 2, so I would not say there is much lost in this case, just move on to another girl, then you'll forget all about miss "she stood too close to me, then she didn't stand close to me anymore."
Thats my 2 cents.
I read all the comments and there was a wealth of wisdom here. Unfortunately you are way in your head. That's why she is avoiding you. You need to stop thinking what people think of you and live your life the way you want to and not how people are going to respond to it.
They are called cock-teasers bro. You think you were the only one they were giving all that attention to? You think you were the only one they were "crazy" about?
Reality is that most girls do this kind of thing until their late 30's, when they no longer look good enough to cock-tease.
And rest assured, while a good guy like you is left wondering wtf just happened, she is surely doing nasty dirty things with the bad-boy tatoo'd motorcyclist down the road. Put your money on it. That's the dating game today. That's how it works. As a decent guy you have NO chips at the poker table, you are up the creek without a paddle.
Although their difficult. I'll hit you with Some realness. Ignore her. Most women if attracted respond to a man who blows them off. Works for me. Its like you gotta beat them at their own game. I know it blows but it works. Most of the time their not worth it but if you do want to give it a try. I would just ignore her to the extent where you convince her she doesn't exist? If she's really interested she might make an attempt to be on speaking terms or more. Don't know what it is with women and men who ignore them but it works every time. Lol It's actually pretty funny. Think I'm lying try it with multiple women. Through them idle hints like they do you, guaranteed a few of them will respond others you might need to make the first move. But you already have made the first move with her. Usually when they turn the tables like that hitting them with their own game usually works if she was interested. Definitely seems like she has feelings but do you really want a women who devout that much attention to you while in a relationship, lies to your face, or a ridiculous attention seeker.
I'm in the same situation with you. Although with me, it's a month and a half of going out and she out of the blue starting to completely ignore my calls or texts. I'm trying to back off but don't want to completely give up.
It's a lose-lose. Either we are too pushy or we aren't passing their ' how interested is he in me' test...
I've been in a situation like this in the past with my current crush, you need to be her FRIEND, not just some guy trying to pick up a chick, girls often are unsure of guys they do not know very well, they think he is just planning a set-up or doubt he actually has feelings for her. I have been freinds with my crush for a long time, and she knows I like her, she definatley likes me too, but is having trouble coming right out and telling me. If you really like her, be her freind and eventually the inevatible will happen. My crush is taking a long time to come out and say it but she is slowely starting to show me how she feels about me.
first off, how can you be 30-35 and you don't already know that all women are freaking crazy? Like, almost certifiable? practically normal...
my old lady (20+ years now...) kind of "stalked me".
found out later, she was SO shy and inexperienced, she clammed up and didn't know what to say...
you goota keep them girls interested by playing games with them .. just work on flirting and keeping girl interested. link
One of two things...
- She either lost interest in you because you are "too nice" (nice guys finish last, overly sensitive ones don't place at all), or she's playing hard to get. I'm willing to go for the first one. I stopped giving a **** about what women thought, and that landed me a girlfriend after two dates.
I was in your position. To be successful, you need to be..
If you have all of these three traits and know how to use them in unison with one another, then you're golden. It's like the quote goes, "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything". To keep a girl interested, you need to stop being at her every beck and call, stop following her and chasing her (make her chase you), have a life, be funny, be charming, and for God's sake, be confident.
How would I deal with it? I WOULD MOVE ON, because there are MANY pebbles on the beach. That's the type of attitude you have. I have told my current girlfriend many times, "if you don't like me or the person that I am, there's the door.." and I would point to the door. That type of confidence landed me four rounds of you-know-what. Take my advice.
shake that seen bro. i use to play those games with those girls and i'm going to tell you that these girls are ALWAYS headaches. Low self esteem bullshit. Its called SELF esteem not "other person esteem"
Great question! I'd give you my opinion, but you've clearly gotten plenty of good answers... and not so great answers. I think ultimately it comes down to how interested someone is in someone that runs like that, either hoit pursuit and come off like an obssesive prick and or end up with her through sheer determination, or try to put her out of sight and out of mind. At least those are the two things I usually end up doing until something happens, I usually end up going with the second choice, I'm not into those games, if someone's into you they should at some point show it, especially if you've been blunt and or very apparent/upfront about your/my interest in someone, at least that's how I see it.
Anyways, best of luck to you and hope everything works out.
I can you simple advice. DELETE HER FROM YOUR EYES. This means, IGNORE HER!. This girl disrespected your ego of manly. She arogantly started, walked, and stalked you but refused to accept your polite aproach to even get know each other. In otherwords, becareful because she might be spying you for somethings you don't remember now. Did you have friends you fought with, maybe she is a hired hatewomen who wishes not be seen talking to each other but studying you? maybe she is suffering from common autism sydrome? Or maybe she is suffering from isolation and wishes to have friends or even boyfriend but due to circumstances she is unable to socialize? Be polite but also ignore her as she is not there. if she becomes more interesting in you and stars at you. Than look around, sit in front of her and say, "hey, I think you are hatewomen and you want to kill me! Is why you are staring at me?! Her anwer shouuld be answer of her life. Because she would either protest and say, NO, I don't to kill or and you initiate the conversation from that. Otherwise, ignore women who ignore you presence because it is very disrespectful and humaliating act and behavior.
or she might be an attention whore I'm not sure but I might have to see how she is in real life to really determine but other then that let laugh for a sec check out this link rolfmao link
say something about it to her like "hey, how are you? good...blah blah.. so what's up? we haven't talked in a while.. it seemed like things were going nicely, I feel like you might have felt the same way "
something along those lines, don't be over bearing and sound possessive but be bold. girls dig guys with balls
There are only two options:
1) You was in a good mood and this became contagious to her, once your mood changed, hers changed too.
2) She is trying to see if you are for real and can take a little social pressure without pussying out.
It's common problems in almost all girls sometimes you feel she is too much close to you and next moment you feel she is away from you so it's very difficult to understand girls.
Its quite simple. Women act on their emotions. And by acting on your emotions, which change all the time, you can't make sound decisions. For this reason, women don't know what they want and constantly change their minds.
That's a good question man.I started dating a girl and she acted so into me,wanted to text and email and talk on the phone everyday.Told me we would talk everyday and get to know each other.told me I wasa great guy.then she stands me up on a hike date.no call or anything.even ignored me when I text her to ask what was wrong.then sends me a 2 sentence email saying.sorry for everything but my ex boyfriend wants to work things out.,said she was so confused.I just asked her why she didn't call me and explain and cancel,and she said I guess you want pity now,well here it is.what did I do to deserve that.said I didn't do anything wrong but she completely ignores me now
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