Why are girls so into you one minute then the next avoid you like you're the plague?

I mean I know inside girls go crazy emotionally... is it to try show they are strong? Don't they know a guy has feelings, too?

How can a girl go from being so into you, to just pretending you don't exist? How does a guy deal with this?

Lets see... when you feel like someone is tailing you like a cop... you catch them looking and they immediately turn away or scratch their face and look in the opposite direction. Always near you. I tried speaking to her but got a cold response.
Classic signs of a girl with a crush. I think because I made a move I shocked her and now she avoids me?
To the guys responding... I'm not friends with this girl. In fact, I don't even know her. She basically followed me around like a puppy dog, and would "happen" to show in spots I was in... stare at me... etc... she was trying to be coy but wasn't.
I tried to talk to her and she was quick to get out of the conversation and get away from me. Since then she's not near me anymore and I see her less frequently. Maybe she wanted attention or maybe she is incredibly shy?
It comes down to either tigerlily19 is right or shes-a-lady is right.
What I would like to know from the girls - would you tell a guy you had a boyfriend, even if you didn't, but still liked him? What scenario's would apply to this? Would mine?
I know when a girl lies about having a boyfriend she does this to be somewhat polite in rejecting a guy... but I get a sense this girl lied to me for a different reason.
Since some LOSER who I private messaged in confidence decided to post details under an anonymous user - such a loser - mightr as well tell everyone... Gold's Gym in Peoria. Thanks Anonymous User. Whay don't you log in and post under your username next tim
Saw her in recent weeks and she has been up to her old habits staring, glaring with no smile and popping up in areas I would generally be in. She would look at me then turn around and walk away like she was trying to avoid me. Ladies: any ideas on this?
I did try to say something to her and this has gotten a bit ridiculous. She abruptly walked away when I approached her. This a game? She behaving like this just to get a rise out of me? She into me this badly? Its getting annoying.


Most Helpful Girl

  • i do that all the time. as soon as he shows interest I ignore him :-/

    fear of rejection & commitment, it's pretty simple.

    if you want her to open up again, you have to make clear that you like her and that you're totally serious.

    she might also doubt how serious you are, so she pretends you don't exist and waits to see how much effort you put in getting back to her.

    either way, what I mentioned above will work out :)

    • When I said hello, I asked her out. She said she has a boyfriend. I felt she was lying cause when I went up to her she was blushing and had a smirk on her face, but suddenly went cold. I thought that was end of it but the next week she showed up and was trying to get my attention. I freaked and left. Since then she ignores me.

    • Show All
    • Are you serious? I've been trying to figure that one out on my own for some time now. That happens to me. I show interest, she shows interest (everything is going great), and then she ignores me.

      I have a question. If a really good looking male came up to you and showed interest would you make it harder for him to get you if he was serious about liking you? I find it that girls can't trust me because I'm a very hansom guy...i guess they know I will always get attention from other girls?

    • all women want a man that is honest and loves himself, women play games sometimes, or do things unwillingly. you need to Set some standards…. if you set up an expectation with her as to how you expect to be treated, then you will be surprised how she may respond. For example, if a guy all of a sudden changed his normal pattern of texting me to not texting me, I would say something to the effect of “Listen, I don’t know why you all of a sudden changed from texting me all the time to all of a sudden no longer responding, but if you would like to continue moving forward with me, I need you to respond and let me know what happened. Otherwise, I will assume you are no longer interested. I would really be disappointed if that were the case because I still would like to keep getting to know you. You must know though, that I do not respond well to someone not responding to me and will move on if necessary. So if that is not what you want, please let me know by the end of day.”

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What Girls Said 62

  • I was like that, the difference being that this girl is veeeery shy.

    But then she's proven she ain't as shy because she obviously followed you around.

    Once you approached her she realized how she screwed things up, in that now you

    know that she followed you and that = to really really...really liking you. And that p*sses her off or just simply makes her feel stupid and awkward around you. But trust me, she still likes you, how can I possibly know this, I don't know 100% but am damn sure she likes you. I just tell you because I did the same thing and so has every girl in this cite in knowing your schedule and 'accidentally' bumping into you. But you caught her, approached her and now she doesn't know what you think but trust me, she's dying to know. Next time you see her, stare her straight in the eye while smiling at her. That will make her feel better in that you both share the same attraction. Make your move when she keeps the eye contact and smiles.

    Good luck


    • I feel a bit better after this as I've been feeling real awkward and uncomfortable seeing her the last couple of months. She has a tough face (doesn't smile) so you don't know whether she's angry or hiding her feelings really well. I think she's knows what I think as I told her how I wanted to say hi to her and tried to give her my number. I'm not sure though if the boyfriend line was legit or she just freaked on the spot. Her coming the next week kinda made me feel she regretted the rejection.

  • Low blow, however broke your confidence.

    • There's confidence then there's confusion... I'm going with the latter.

    • Hang in there. The confusion usually clears. THe confidence has to remain steady at the helm. :-)

  • Sometimes the feeling you thought was there just vanishes -- or wasn't really there to begin with. At certain times of the month, girls are biologically programmed to be horny/seek out a mate. Really. So a girl may be strongly inclined to locate some eye candy, flirt like crazy and form an attachment. HOWEVER, because all the hormones are tamped down by logic, concerns they learned about STD, untimely pregnancy, and other responsibilities guys tend not to think about when they hit a horny patch, it seems like girls just switch off. It's not from a lack of wanting a guy, but from concerns based on logic and experience.

    • I don't think what you say applies to me.

    • Show All
    • Hang in there. :-)

    • Thanks for your support : )

  • Maybe she didn't want the move to be made.

    Classic signs of a guy with a crush: assume the girl is incredibly into you when in reality maybe she was just being nice and wanted to be friends.

    I know I don't avoid someone if I'm into them. I avoid them if I know they're into me and I'm not into them.

    • When a girl wants to be friends she will talk to you. Not stare at you, and when you catch them they quickly turn away, blush or look down at the ground. Or am I wrong here?

    • Show All
    • Not necessarily. Like I said, she's just looking for that added attention. Or maybe she's having problems with her boyfriend. Maybe both.

      When you didn't give her the attention she wanted to continue to have even after she told you she had a boyfriend, she decided to ignore you.

    • This is tough as what you say makes sense, but also what Shes-A-Lady writes makes sense to... I mean if she actually does have a boyfriend, that's cool as then I wouldn't be interested in someone who needs to mess with other people for attention. I'm just not sure if she's what you says she is or what Shes-A-Lady says she is...

  • not all girls like that. we can be emotionally stable or not. depends on the person.

    • Everyone is different - I agree.

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What Guys Said 31

  • Although their difficult. I'll hit you with Some realness. Ignore her. Most women if attracted respond to a man who blows them off. Works for me. Its like you gotta beat them at their own game. I know it blows but it works. Most of the time their not worth it but if you do want to give it a try. I would just ignore her to the extent where you convince her she doesn't exist? If she's really interested she might make an attempt to be on speaking terms or more. Don't know what it is with women and men who ignore them but it works every time. Lol It's actually pretty funny. Think I'm lying try it with multiple women. Through them idle hints like they do you, guaranteed a few of them will respond others you might need to make the first move. But you already have made the first move with her. Usually when they turn the tables like that hitting them with their own game usually works if she was interested. Definitely seems like she has feelings but do you really want a women who devout that much attention to you while in a relationship, lies to your face, or a ridiculous attention seeker.

    • All I need is one conversation with her and I will know who I am dealing with... if I get a sense she's nuts, I'll lose interest fast and that will be that. If I get the feeling she's shy and panicked on the spot, then I'll give her a chance... I think a smile and hello from me might be the answer. As of right now all I'm doing is ignoring her and she could be taking it as "he's angry and wants nothing to do with me."

    • Either way if you continue. I think itll show you had some feelings for her. There was this girl I complemented in class, and she took it as I was trying to get in her pants and telling me she had a b/f. Told me to find someone else to be friends with. I blew her off from that point forwarded even when she attempted to be on speaking terms with me. But she would be staring at me all day in class would go out her way to sit next to me, etc. some of them are to full of themselves.

  • A lot of girls really don't know what they want, and they change their mind based upon their mood. This is at least what I've noticed.

    LOL. Girls probably think about guys the same way as they think about desserts. At first they see the strawberry shortcake, and they think that looks really nice and tempting. But then, they say to themselves, "But it has a lot of calories and will make me fat," so at the last minute, they decide not to eat it. Or they take a bite and then stop.

    One minute the cake is a good thing, the next it's a bad thing.

    Some girls like to just have the cake in front of them, even though they know they're going to say no. Other girls try to not even look at the cake, because they're afraid they're going to say yes.

    Guys on the other hand immediately decide whether they want to eat the cake or not, and then they do so for-better-or-worse. Even if we later realize we made the wrong decision, we try not to admit it.

    • Great. So this chick thought I was good enough to eat, but decided I would go straight to her thighs and passed?

    • ^^ That made me laugh.

  • You need to move on from girls that do this and don't be friends with them. She KNOWS that you are chasing her and she is getting her fix, not to mention boosting her ego. She is wasting your time playing these games, and sooner or later you will see her with someone else, and that will hurt even more. Don't talk to her again, your time is more valuable. Start dating other girls. If she tries to talk to you, say you have something to do and leave her standing there, stay busy. By doing this you stay a mystery, unpredictable, thus making her attracted to you. By telling your feelings you show your cards too quickly and you are no longer a challenge so never do that. These are the advantages that the bad boys have compared to the nice guys, and nice guys finish last. Girls get attention from guys all the time, so they wonder why someone doesn't pay attention to them when it happens. Be confident and move on. Don't be upset or hold any grudges, just have fun and live your life. It's call self esteem for a reason. Stop focusing on this girl or any 1 girl and focus on yourself. It's a game, but in this game, it's not how you play it's whether you win or lose. Change your game man.

    • This is the answer. Trust me. A girl did this to me once, where it was on, then it wasn't. I ignored her after and kept on with my life, being not cut. She met another dude that couldn't compete against me, she started dating him, but found out he wasn't the guy, I moved on already and now she's just one of those girls. find a new one

    • So true, good answer

  • Can you give us some more details of the situation? How did she show she was into you? What did you do once you knew she was into you?

  • Hello,

    I tend to not get involved with girls like this.. if she's gets scared and runs off then she's frankly crazy.. I have no time to spend trying to "convince" a girl I'm interested in them.. I've done it too many times in the past and there were always 2 outcomes..

    1: She gets bored with you and finds another guy.. (its a mirical I know all a sudden she's not scared of getting hurt)

    2: She comes back to you before getting scared again and running off, and the whole cycle repeats itself

    In both case the women cares nothing for your feelings in the matter.. after all if a women really liked you why would she do somthing that hurt you?.. the answer is she wouldnt.. she would get over her fears..

    But the big question si WHY would you want to convince a women like that.. after all dating a women is all about finding the one girl.. if she runs in the early stanges what's she going to be like if you ever get marrid or have kids? will she run EVERY time life gets hard.. could you trust a women like that to pull her weight in the relationship.. I would say no you cant

    Leave her alone for another guy to deal with

    Good Luck


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