Why are girls so into you one minute then the next avoid you like you're the plague?

I mean I know inside girls go crazy emotionally... is it to try show they are strong? Don't they know a guy has feelings, too?How can a girl go from being so into you, to just pretending you don't exist? How does a guy deal with this?

Lets see... when you feel like someone is tailing you like a cop... you catch them looking and they immediately turn away or scratch their face and look in the opposite direction. Always near you. I tried speaking to her but got a cold response.
Classic signs of a girl with a crush. I think because I made a move I shocked her and now she avoids me?
To the guys responding... I'm not friends with this girl. In fact, I don't even know her. She basically followed me around like a puppy dog, and would "happen" to show in spots I was in... stare at me... etc... she was trying to be coy but wasn't.
I tried to talk to her and she was quick to get out of the conversation and get away from me. Since then she's not near me anymore and I see her less frequently. Maybe she wanted attention or maybe she is incredibly shy?
It comes down to either tigerlily19 is right or shes-a-lady is right.
What I would like to know from the girls - would you tell a guy you had a boyfriend, even if you didn't, but still liked him? What scenario's would apply to this? Would mine?
I know when a girl lies about having a boyfriend she does this to be somewhat polite in rejecting a guy... but I get a sense this girl lied to me for a different reason.
Since some LOSER who I private messaged in confidence decided to post details under an anonymous user - such a loser - mightr as well tell everyone... Gold's Gym in Peoria. Thanks Anonymous User. Whay don't you log in and post under your username next tim
Saw her in recent weeks and she has been up to her old habits staring, glaring with no smile and popping up in areas I would generally be in. She would look at me then turn around and walk away like she was trying to avoid me. Ladies: any ideas on this?
I did try to say something to her and this has gotten a bit ridiculous. She abruptly walked away when I approached her. This a game? She behaving like this just to get a rise out of me? She into me this badly? Its getting annoying.

What's Your Opinion?


Most Helpful Opinion

  • i do that all the time. as soon as he shows interest I ignore him :-/fear of rejection & commitment, it's pretty simple.if you want her to open up again, you have to make clear that you like her and that you're totally serious.she might also doubt how serious you are, so she pretends you don't exist and waits to see how much effort you put in getting back to her.either way, what I mentioned above will work out :)

    • 39d

      all women want a man that is honest and loves himself, women play games sometimes, or do things unwillingly. you need to Set some standards…. if you set up an expectation with her as to how you expect to be treated, then you will be surprised how she may respond. For example, if a guy all of a sudden changed his normal pattern of texting me to not texting me, I would say something to the effect of “Listen, I don’t know why you all of a sudden changed from texting me all the time to all of a sudden no longer responding, but if you would like to continue moving forward with me, I need you to respond and let me know what happened. Otherwise, I will assume you are no longer interested. I would really be disappointed if that were the case because I still would like to keep getting to know you. You must know though, that I do not respond well to someone not responding to me and will move on if necessary. So if that is not what you want, please let me know by the end of day.”

    • Are you serious? I've been trying to figure that one out on my own for some time now. That happens to me. I show interest, she shows interest (everything is going great), and then she ignores me. I have a question. If a really good looking male came up to you and showed interest would you make it harder for him to get you if he was serious about liking you? I find it that girls can't trust me because I'm a very hansom guy...i guess they know I will always get attention from other girls?

    • their will always be 2 people in a relationship, the reacher and the settler...dont be the reacher...never works out well

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What Girls Said 60

  • Well god know if you got your answer. But what I would say is that I do similar things with a guy I really like and I do it because I'm sure he does not like me and so staying away makes it easier to not be so into the guy. The difference being I am sure he doesn't like me. Yet you say you know her so maybe she assumes you can't like her. And then of course maybe she is playing a "game" like she is always there and then she's gone you'd notice her and think about her which is exactly what your doing.

  • She likes you

  • If I were you, I'd wait for someone worth waiting for, as in someone who will not play head games ike many people have already mentioned, someone who will tell you straight up how she feels, although that can be difficult

  • Hi, you're 30-35. You have no time for these childish games...or do you?Ignore this idiot. She's just annoying. She sounds like a weirdo...be careful, she might just be a vampire and try to suck your blood!

    • AMEN on that lol I hate head games. Games just waste time and energy lol

    • +1

    • I thought about the vampire... but she looks more like a witch. As for games, I think none of us at any age has time for them.

  • Ignore her and forget about her. She sounds like a migraine.

    • +1 again!

    • Yes. Big headache. Wish she would act like a woman and not like a little girl.

  • We Actually feel the same way sometimes ... so maybe that could be the reason!

    • Exactly. Forget about hefr, she's not worh it :D.

    • If she didn't slam the door in my face with the boyfriend line I would approach her again. I understand why she did it (Best Answer Above) but its gotten to the point where too much time has passed and I don't see it going anywhere.

    • I could totally relate ...

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  • Well some of us are emotional roller coasters and we go through ups and downs but on the fllp side we play hard to keep you interested. Its about the chase, I know I start fights (small ones) just to see if my guy is still interested and will put an effort into making sure I'm happy. Its just a test...dont worry...we don't mean too (smirk)

    • Are men lab rats to you women? Tests? Hard to get can only go on for so long before you turn the guy completely away.

  • maybe they found something out that they didn't like. or was offended in some way. yes we girls over analyze everything!

  • Dont let it bother you, she's probably way into you she just doesn't want to be rejected. sometimes or they're trying to play hard to get

    • You're probably right.

  • welll maybe she's intimidated? Are you popular and constantly surrounded by friends and are you overly confident? that's the reason why I aviod my crush even thoughh I really really would lovee to talk to him, I'm waiting for him to approach me.

    • I'm usually alone doing my thing but I do socialize with other people. Recently, she has been checking me out. One person told me they saw her, and I caught her myself. One day it seems she's interested, then other days she just ignores me like I'm the plague. Can't figure her out.

  • You said she has a boyfriend? She probably really does. I bet she's interested in you, and that's why you picked up those signals like her blushing, etc. However, the fact is she isn't ready to part with her boyfriend (and if you ask me, you should respect that, unless for example, he's a total abusive turd), and you being persistent scared her away. She's basically afraid of falling for you and ruining her current relationship, so she's avoiding you. She doesn't want to be MEAN because she does like you, but she won't be nice either because that will encourage you. She probably just wishes that you would avoid her too, so she can forget about you and get on with her life.

    • Wow!

  • If a girl suddenly starts avoiding you, its likely that you have done something to scare her away. You should probably just talk to her and ask her why she's ignoring you or just move on if she obviously isn't interested any more.

  • maybe you should switch to guys... DUH. faghet.

    • anonymous she-male

    • Lmao runs on batteries.. I have a feeling this chick doesn't get out much

    • Lol, nice one about the battery operated boyfriend, totally over her head.

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  • well girls can say the same thing about guys that is happening to me right now... it just depends on how the person is and if your really into them and them not being into you as much as you are to them ... maybe you liked her way to much and she didn't like it or something

  • So it seems like a lot of people gave you opinions can you please choose a best answer?i just wanna see how you'll do that! :)

    • I'd say shes-a-lady wins... with tigerlily19 second and honorable mentions to other girls who suggest it was a lie to play it safe.

  • maybe she got mad at something you did? I always ignore guys when I get mad at them.

  • You know what!Sometimes its the guy that gives off the wrong signals! I know I do it because guys make me feel like an idiot so to avoid looking like one I just avoid them :)

    • I'm guilty of this. I can look p*ssed off sometimes, so she could take it as I don't like her.

  • We girl's have... a really good imagination, and we always make the end of the world out of something really small, unlike you. Or sometimes trying to play hard-to-get, without a good effect though. But trust me - we always end up as the ones that cries their heart out at the end - sometimes without any good reason in fact. It's strange - the way we are so complicated while you boys attend to keep it so simple - irony x)Reply on the "What I would like to know from girls" - I did that couple of times when I didn't like the guy, but didn't want to hurt him or anything, but never when I actually liked the guy - that is more the hard-to-get game that I find really boring. My tip - try to win the girl - that is the thing that she really want's - someone to fight for her!

    • Well, you could always try finding out that by saying hi I guess :)

    • Right now, it's kinda like hide-and-go-seek. I go do my thing and she does hers but then I catch her looking at me with a stern look on her face. Not sure if its wishes of death or wanting me to say hi.

    • Hmm... maybe the girl is changing her mind or something... you have to impress her I guess... somehow - show her that you care (if you do, or if you want her to think that you do :P)

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  • You really don't want to think too much into this. It's the basic fact that girls are... undecisive.

    • Damn, so do i! :D

  • if you did something wrong to her, to make her all of a sudden hate you, her reaction would be to get revenge. she'd try to get you jealous and make you feel like you did the wrong thing, and regret what you did to her. she'd want an apology. but in some cases deep down inside her heart she still likes you. to get a guy jealous or to stop liking me, I'd say I already have a boyfriend. some girls just say yes then like break up a few hours later just so tht she wouldn't have to say no to your face. or maybe she wants you to come to her. I normally like it when boys make the first move. but this may sometimes offend a girl.and try to gett to know her more. gett her to open up to you. and by the way, do leave the conversation hanging. always have a topic. otherwise it'll be very awkward. and if all els fails, just ask her. why would she hate you? if you're too scared/embarrassed then ask her bestfriend, she'd more then likely tell her everything.

    • I didn't do anything wrong other than try to be nice, which probably came off as way too strong and direct as some girls here have pointed out.

  • I know girls are very confusing and complicated to guys and vice versa. This girl's running hot and cold as she's confused too... But the best thing to do is just be straightforward and talk about it with her. Communication often solves problems.And the boyfriend thing? It's an effective defense mechanism. We don't want the guy to know so we lie about having a boyfriend in case we do something that'll make it obvious. I once used it was because people kept bullying me about liking someone, so I lied to get them to leave me alone. But I wouldn't worry about the lying about a boyfriend. Just ask and you'll find out.Hope this helped :)

    • I always thought when a girl lies about having a boyfriend its her way of saying: "Not interested. Get lost!" Also, when a girl lies like that to you the first time you approach her, there better be a good excuse, as I'm not too keen on people who lie. If it was a defense mechanism to play it safe, then I can accept that.

  • i'm not sure why she would tell you she has a boyfriend if she really doesn't. she is probably shy and doesn't know how to talk to you. she might feel like she has to act uninterested to make you more interested--i've felt like that with guys before. she might think if she acts too interested in you you'll be scared off and so she avoids you--thinking she's playing it safe.I'm trying to base it off of what I'd do and how I think when it comes to liking someone I don't really know--since I'm pretty shy and you mentioned she could be shy as well.My guess is she wants you to like her but thinks if she initiates anything you'll see her as an annoyance. the only thing I don't get is the boyfriend part.

    • That's the problem - too much screwing going on. Wait. That's supposed to be a good thing? Seriously, if people would just open up to each other instead of guessing what the other is thinking, it would save everyone a ton of time and energy.

    • Girls screw with your heads. boys screw with our heads. we all screw with each others heads.

    • My grammar sucks! "not interested in you"

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  • As a girl I tend to act like that a lot of times.I think this is a kind of defence in case the boy is not so much into us. WE are insecure and we don't want to show that we are crazy for you and then feel the rejection. I think the best way to get rid of that is show the girl that you like her and you are not there just to have fun. If you make her feel secure about your feelings then she'll open herself to you.Go sit next to her and ask her things that show your interest.like "You look a bit down. What happened? How can I fix this?" or "I want to see your smile. Could you do me that favor?" or just hug her and tell her that you like her/

    • I like that - "hug her" ... I can see myself right now dropping the dumbbell, walking over and giving her a big 'ole hug as she's doing the bench press. I think that will go over well?

  • im a girl who does this. its called teasing them to see how you guys really feel about them

  • your right we are emotional. I use to play mind games with this boy. And it would be so much fun to get him upset. I guess I did that because I hated that I liked him, so in someways I could have my cake and eat it to. I liked this guy so much that I couldn't show it. I could only show hate. I was embarrassed to show that I liked him. I didn't want to like him. I hated him and I just wanted to cause him pain for the hell of it He did somethings I didn't like and I wanted to get back at him. It was fun cause he believed things I told him. I think the girl whos doing this cold shoulder thing likes you and she wants you to talk to her badly. I never did think about his feelings, I didn't care. It was all about me. she could be mad that you won't came and talk to her. Or it could be my crazy reason. I have a strong feeling that she wants you to chase her, and make her feel wanted. Well I hope you can solve this problem. Good luck :)

    • God woman, you are so childish...

    • Haters..i understand you bain ull get a good boy soon you deserve it =)been there done that..they do deserve it I do it in lack of trust..its not like they deserve us to be good I mean most boys don't treat girls right Ill even keep playing with them that's how I roll lol don't worry boys I chose my victims good only the ones who deserve this get this so if uve been played with mind games ur an ass so shut up and stop whining about it..

    • This is so true!This is me to a tee!Every girl has these guy situations

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  • well often girls are indesisive. another thing could be that she was just attracted to u. and then realizeed that she really didn't like u. ( no offense) Attraction to a person can be blinding, And then all the sudden we realize, o man I'm really not into this guy at all. better that way then end in a seriouse relashionship with a person who was only attracted to u. people let it fog their judgement , & end up having to have a hard break up or divorce. because usually attraction doesn't lead to greatness, unless another element is involved.

    • I think this is why men go see prostitutes.

  • Maybe she's trying to get over you.

    • I say the whole thing is a big misunderstanding and since no one is saying anything it has become awkward.

  • Well it really depends I mean I do that ONLY if the guy starts acting tht way to me!

  • I feel like guys do that too though, I think it's human nature. Maybe she's playing "hard to get" or she wants YOU to text first? My friend is VERY old fashion and always wants the guy to communicate first. Maybe your girl is waiting for that?

  • She seems a bit shy to me or maybe you misready her body language.

    • Sounds like she's scared

    • Yes and No. Mostly I would catch her staring then she would either look away or put her down. One time I happened to see her on my way to my car and she smiled but then quickly turned her head touching her face. The only other time she smiled was when I went up to her and said hi. Still, even then I got rejected.

    • "misready" - misread - well sometimes we want to see things a certain way.when she stared did she smile?

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  • Like the song says, if you want her to go after you, just walk the other way...

  • Several options. As always. But I guess its up to you to see which one you want. She could be unsure how you feel. She could be insecure and not think that you would want her. Very shy if she does like you and you get a cold response when you talk to her. OR and I could be wrong on this but she might not be interested at all. Has noticed you checking her out and can feel you like her but doesn't want anymore hence the mentioning a boyfriend.Im guilty of saying that when I want to get male attention off my back. BUT I could be very wrong. If a guy is keen on me and I'm not keen on them I will ask them for advice on males. BUT lot of males cannot be stopped. They will keep trying.

    • You and tigerlily19 seem to be on the same page.

    • Its really not worth the hassle. I know dating and love isn't meant to be easy but when you start thinking about everything. Its not worth it :) Don't fall for someone who makes you doubt yourself.

    • It could be everything you suggest but at some point (like now) you get exhausted and just let it go.

  • omg be TOTALLY f***ing blunt with her. lol I'm very serious. she doesn't know if your totally into her or she could see you flirting with other woman. even if your NOT flirting with other woman, she could take it that way. (woman have different view points remember XD) she doesn't wanna get hurt. its possible she wants a serious relationship (if she thinks your flirting with other woman it could very possibly give her the thought you would cheat on her) go up to her, tell her your very into her. don't be freakish about it. don't tell her that you've been watching her all week or something. tell her she's a very beautiful woman. that should get to her :) SHOW her that you'r serious about really liking her and show her that she has no reason to be scared for any reason. be confident in yourself, but don't be too cocky. ohh ... and have game :)

    • And don't be sarcastic. nobody likes a sarcastic asshole. who are you gonna believe?? a dipsh*t man ... or a WOMAN. if you act like a dipsh*t airhead she's gonna leave.

    • Lmfao phoenix. take the whole player term as a compliment? all tha f***ing girls ik f***ing hate players. if you gonna b a playa ... you mite as well f***ing say "imma cheat on you bitch I don't really love you" u seriously wanna give her that f***ing impression? how many gurls have you got phoenix? huh ... how many hav you gotten bein a total jack ass with his d*** up his own ass. and 4 tha record phoenix ... nahh wen you reveal ur feelings 2 a gurl ... it shows that you really genuinally like her.

    • Like I mentioned before, things have gotten a bit odd at this place. I'm prepared to move on, but not completely shutting the door on this.

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  • Well honestly that shows that she really likes you. And if you chase after her that shows you care, so it would make your relationship stronger!

    • What relationship? I don't even know her.

  • So I've been IN LOVE with a guy for a couple of years and he used to be my friend b4 but a lot stuff happened and I don't know how he feels so I jsut totally ignore him and act liek he doesn't even exsist and when he looks at me I just stare and break away really fast and I jsut wish he was upfront about how he felt because that would ake my life a lot easier!

  • well, this is what I think. cause I think I am doing the same thing to the guy I like.anyway, well. the guy I like has known that I liked him for about 10 weeks now.well, the thing is. there are different possibilities.1. She has lost interest in you.The one thing everyone hates to hear. She has lost interest in you. She might think that she has been waiting for too long or maybe she got to know you and your personality and realised that it is not what she thought and wanted. Again, don't ignore her. Be friends. You might never know when she starts liking you again. Women are like that. We are indecisive.2. She is embarassed Haha. So me. Well. the thing is she doesn't know that you like her. If she did, she would have probably pursued and you wouldn't have this problem. Now, she doesn't know that you like her. She might think that you don't care about her that way. She might feel like a fool for even pursuing someone who doesn't feel the same way. So, she uses the 'i am emotionally strong' face. She doesn't want to show you that she gets hurt easily. She is not clear about who you like. So, this is basically because she doesn't wanna look like a fool.3. She wants you to make the effort.Again, the play hard to get scenario. She might be playing hard to get by making herself look uninterested in you to see whether you would pursue her. Some girls will make you chase them for quite a long time. Some girls may make you chase them for a short period of time. Again, be aware of the situation. If she plays REALLY hard to get, she might not be a girl that you should be chasing. I guess, you have to read the signs. If she looks at you a lot, she does like you and wants you to chase her. Well, I hope this helped. Based on my experience anyway.

    • I think another person here had it right --- I busted a secret admirer. I don't think she ever thought I would say anything to her, and when I surprisingly did, she got freaked out. I still say she lied about the boyfriend --- it was the way she said it and the expression on her face. Just a gut feeling.

    • Okay. your strangers. now that's harder.basically, if you think she has a boyfriend, just forget her and move on.but if not, I guess, you just have start the conversation and if she still doesn'ttalk to you, it might be best to just forget her.

    • I don't know her. We're two strangers at the same place now occassionally. Guilt would be understandable. She might have a boyfriend but felt guilty the way she rejected me.

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  • Low blow, however broke your confidence.

    • Hang in there. The confusion usually clears. THe confidence has to remain steady at the helm. :-)

    • There's confidence then there's confusion... I'm going with the latter.

  • I have a tendency of go for guys I can't have. So when the guy isn't interested in me or not showing as much interest, it's an instant attraction for me. But when I have him and he's around all the time, he becomes less attractive

    • She's right, I feel the exact same way. I hate it when a girl starts to smother me. :(

    • I nice guy tendency revealed!

    • It's life. same goes for guys

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  • Um.. I have a feeling that she was into you at some point and she eitherA) lost interestorB) Realized she was being too obvious so now she's embarrassed It's most likely that she moved on, if she gives you no responses then you might want to move on too(who knows, this might even help the situation! :) Sorry if I'm being harsh

    • (:

    • No, not harsh at all. You're right. I think I waited too long to say something, she moved on thinking I never had interest. Now she knows I have interest and either I was too late, or she's embarrassed and decided to forget about it. Who knows... but I am going to leave it alone and if a good opportunity comes up to speak to her, I will.

  • Sometimes girls are TOTALLY into a guy..Like ther head of heels for them. But once they get to know them more..they don't like the way they are (like too clingy etc) so they ignore them. Then they complaiin and say "Jeeze, why won't he leave me alone" the next day. And its just the way we are (not all girls) Its just tht if we get over a guy..we want him to get over us too..otherwise we find it too creepy. But anyway bottom line is..If we like you one day and we don't the next day..its because we found something out bout you or discovered something from ur personality tht we don't like and wanna get away from.

    • I actually JUST posted a question on this.. 1 minute a girl will be head over heels into me then I make 1 misstep and she's running!

    • This I understand as I've fell for girls before but once I got to know them I immediately ran for the hills!

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What Guys Said 30

  • That's a good question man.I started dating a girl and she acted so into me,wanted to text and email and talk on the phone everyday.Told me we would talk everyday and get to know each other.told me I wasa great guy.then she stands me up on a hike date.no call or anything.even ignored me when I text her to ask what was wrong.then sends me a 2 sentence email saying.sorry for everything but my ex boyfriend wants to work things out.,said she was so confused.I just asked her why she didn't call me and explain and cancel,and she said I guess you want pity now,well here it is.what did I do to deserve that.said I didn't do anything wrong but she completely ignores me now

  • uhhhh...first off, how can you be 30-35 and you don't already know that all women are freaking crazy? Like, almost certifiable? practically normal...my old lady (20+ years now...) kind of "stalked me".found out later, she was SO shy and inexperienced, she clammed up and didn't know what to say...

  • Maybe she heard a bad rumor about you.

  • BC they're women and that's what they do to guys that let them get away with it. Find a new one.

  • Great question! I'd give you my opinion, but you've clearly gotten plenty of good answers... and not so great answers. I think ultimately it comes down to how interested someone is in someone that runs like that, either hoit pursuit and come off like an obssesive prick and or end up with her through sheer determination, or try to put her out of sight and out of mind. At least those are the two things I usually end up doing until something happens, I usually end up going with the second choice, I'm not into those games, if someone's into you they should at some point show it, especially if you've been blunt and or very apparent/upfront about your/my interest in someone, at least that's how I see it.Anyways, best of luck to you and hope everything works out.

  • I can you simple advice. DELETE HER FROM YOUR EYES. This means, IGNORE HER!. This girl disrespected your ego of manly. She arogantly started, walked, and stalked you but refused to accept your polite aproach to even get know each other. In otherwords, becareful because she might be spying you for somethings you don't remember now. Did you have friends you fought with, maybe she is a hired hatewomen who wishes not be seen talking to each other but studying you? maybe she is suffering from common autism sydrome? Or maybe she is suffering from isolation and wishes to have friends or even boyfriend but due to circumstances she is unable to socialize? Be polite but also ignore her as she is not there. if she becomes more interesting in you and stars at you. Than look around, sit in front of her and say, "hey, I think you are hatewomen and you want to kill me! Is why you are staring at me?! Her anwer shouuld be answer of her life. Because she would either protest and say, NO, I don't to kill or and you initiate the conversation from that. Otherwise, ignore women who ignore you presence because it is very disrespectful and humaliating act and behavior.

    • Girls should delete guys who play with their emotions and with their heads. don't introduce yourself as the wolf in sheeps clothing then lead her on. then make out with her/f*** her then slowly pull away. then call her for some booty but pretends to be missing her before the deed. then disappears for sometime. you know that hurts us girls you know. we are sweethearts when you show us how much you like us but then you started being a d*** then yea you pretty much get the bitch out.

  • If no alcohol was envolved in either case..Then in most cases the guy became too clingy...Or sometimes she met someone else.. but most cases the guy became too clingy...

  • It's because you probably flirted with her one day and then didn't f*** her, then the next day she thinks "oh f*** I shouldnt have been so horny with him, what a slut I am, next time I'm putting my guards up." In the mood the moment its okay, but when she's you didn't f*** her, she thinks it was all her fault for acting so sexy with u, ya know. She thinks you don't like her. But if ya f***ed her, then its a whole different story, where she will fall in love with you haha!

    • Next time I see her, I will bang her. Thanks!

  • you goota keep them girls interested by playing games with them .. just work on flirting and keeping girl interested. link

    • I'm not that type of person. Either you're interested or you're not. I think she's come to the conclusion I'm not the type of guy who will chase her. Her loss.

  • Its called "cat string theory."If you wave a piece of string in front of yoru cats face then pull it away, your cat is mesmerized by it. However, if you actually give the cat the string, she sniffs it once then looks away.Humans are like the cat, we like the shiny thing that is just out of our reach, we like to pursue, we are tantalized by what retreats from us when we reach for it.In this case, you are the string, the girl is the cat. Next time, maybe let her enjoy chasing you, let her wonder, unsure if she can get you or not for a little while. Just a thought.And byw, it does not sound like things went very far between you 2, so I would not say there is much lost in this case, just move on to another girl, then you'll forget all about miss "she stood too close to me, then she didn't stand close to me anymore."Thats my 2 cents.

  • There are only two options:1) You was in a good mood and this became contagious to her, once your mood changed, hers changed too.2) She is trying to see if you are for real and can take a little social pressure without pussying out.

    • Maybe you're right.

    • Based on your answer is definitely number one because you are thinking too much about her, that means you already scared her away.. Your insecurity reflects in she rejecting you.

    • 1) Doesn't apply to my situation.2) Maybe...real vs. player I can see that argument. Now she told me she's got a guy, so all I can do is back off, so not sure where being a p**** fits in here...

  • Hello,I tend to not get involved with girls like this.. if she's gets scared and runs off then she's frankly crazy.. I have no time to spend trying to "convince" a girl I'm interested in them.. I've done it too many times in the past and there were always 2 outcomes.. 1: She gets bored with you and finds another guy.. (its a mirical I know all a sudden she's not scared of getting hurt)2: She comes back to you before getting scared again and running off, and the whole cycle repeats itselfIn both case the women cares nothing for your feelings in the matter.. after all if a women really liked you why would she do somthing that hurt you?.. the answer is she wouldnt.. she would get over her fears..But the big question si WHY would you want to convince a women like that.. after all dating a women is all about finding the one girl.. if she runs in the early stanges what's she going to be like if you ever get marrid or have kids? will she run EVERY time life gets hard.. could you trust a women like that to pull her weight in the relationship.. I would say no you cantLeave her alone for another guy to deal withGood Luck -Chris

  • I read all the comments and there was a wealth of wisdom here. Unfortunately you are way in your head. That's why she is avoiding you. You need to stop thinking what people think of you and live your life the way you want to and not how people are going to respond to it.

    • Well if you got anything right out of this, its is called experience. Awesome attitude! Cheers!

    • I agree. My curiosity got the best of me here. I think everyone here could be right one way or another. I pretty much got what I needed - lots of opinions. Enough to tell me I was wrong in how I approached her and waiting much too long to say something. I'm happy I went out of my way to say something, but left feeling like something isn't right... regardless, time to move on!

  • They are called cock-teasers bro. You think you were the only one they were giving all that attention to? You think you were the only one they were "crazy" about?Reality is that most girls do this kind of thing until their late 30's, when they no longer look good enough to cock-tease.And rest assured, while a good guy like you is left wondering wtf just happened, she is surely doing nasty dirty things with the bad-boy tatoo'd motorcyclist down the road. Put your money on it. That's the dating game today. That's how it works. As a decent guy you have NO chips at the poker table, you are up the creek without a paddle.

    • I hear you. Point taken.

  • They're girls. They're weird like that. BAM BEST ANSWER!

  • Its quite simple. Women act on their emotions. And by acting on your emotions, which change all the time, you can't make sound decisions. For this reason, women don't know what they want and constantly change their minds.

  • or she might be an attention whore I'm not sure but I might have to see how she is in real life to really determine but other then that let laugh for a sec check out this link rolfmao link

  • One of two things...- She either lost interest in you because you are "too nice" (nice guys finish last, overly sensitive ones don't place at all), or she's playing hard to get. I'm willing to go for the first one. I stopped giving a **** about what women thought, and that landed me a girlfriend after two dates.I was in your position. To be successful, you need to be..a.) Funnyb.) Cockyc.) IndependentIf you have all of these three traits and know how to use them in unison with one another, then you're golden. It's like the quote goes, "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything". To keep a girl interested, you need to stop being at her every beck and call, stop following her and chasing her (make her chase you), have a life, be funny, be charming, and for God's sake, be confident. How would I deal with it? I WOULD MOVE ON, because there are MANY pebbles on the beach. That's the type of attitude you have. I have told my current girlfriend many times, "if you don't like me or the person that I am, there's the door.." and I would point to the door. That type of confidence landed me four rounds of you-know-what. Take my advice.

    • This is ridiculous!Your girlfriend is a desperate fool!Any man who treats me like the way you decribed would be out the door faster than you can say "Bo!".Yes I like a confident, funny and independent man, but I also like a doting, kind and caring man. I don't chase men and I don't expect him to chase me either. If I like him and he likes me, we meet half way.Do me a favour and stop passing this bullsh*t information around to young and impressionable men. How old are you?!!!

    • Uhm, just my though: there are many girls out there. if ur an awesome guy, there will be plenty of girls waiting to get you. so don't waste your time on someone who isn't sure what she wants. if she wants u, she would have made it known... right? if she wants you but doesn't want to work for it... then she isn't worth ur time.maybe ignore her for abit and see her reaction. then move from there.then again, if you aren't awesome, get awesome. don't settle.i personally think cdeyoung's quite right :/

    • Don't get upset. From what you wrote it came off like you're the type of guy who gets certain kinds of girls - submissive. I think this girl likes me but not overwhelmingly enough to do what you say. I've ignored her since the day I approached her. Its just weird to see her as most times when things like this don't go your way you never see the person ever again. This is an odd situation I've never dealt with before.

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  • Younger girls are immature, no matter what, deal with it or live with it, or kick their butts away.

  • Probably because they found a deal breaker that is unique to them. I wouldn't worry about it. If one girl looses interest, then on to the next one.

  • Although their difficult. I'll hit you with Some realness. Ignore her. Most women if attracted respond to a man who blows them off. Works for me. Its like you gotta beat them at their own game. I know it blows but it works. Most of the time their not worth it but if you do want to give it a try. I would just ignore her to the extent where you convince her she doesn't exist? If she's really interested she might make an attempt to be on speaking terms or more. Don't know what it is with women and men who ignore them but it works every time. Lol It's actually pretty funny. Think I'm lying try it with multiple women. Through them idle hints like they do you, guaranteed a few of them will respond others you might need to make the first move. But you already have made the first move with her. Usually when they turn the tables like that hitting them with their own game usually works if she was interested. Definitely seems like she has feelings but do you really want a women who devout that much attention to you while in a relationship, lies to your face, or a ridiculous attention seeker.

    • Either way if you continue. I think itll show you had some feelings for her. There was this girl I complemented in class, and she took it as I was trying to get in her pants and telling me she had a b/f. Told me to find someone else to be friends with. I blew her off from that point forwarded even when she attempted to be on speaking terms with me. But she would be staring at me all day in class would go out her way to sit next to me, etc. some of them are to full of themselves.

    • All I need is one conversation with her and I will know who I am dealing with... if I get a sense she's nuts, I'll lose interest fast and that will be that. If I get the feeling she's shy and panicked on the spot, then I'll give her a chance... I think a smile and hello from me might be the answer. As of right now all I'm doing is ignoring her and she could be taking it as "he's angry and wants nothing to do with me."

  • I had a nearly identical situation happen to me. She was interested no doubt, then ignored me and told me she got back together with her bf. She also did something really mean to me which I won't get into here, but lets just say she apologized 5 months too late and after I reminded her...needless to say, she's an asshole and even though I told her I want to remain friend, I don't consider her one. As much as I liked her I know I can never feel the same way about her since she is an ass. I would say you can try to be friends, but like some of the other guys have said, don't fool yourself. It is vastly more probable that nothing will happen. For whatever reason girls like this just don't get it, and they deserve not to get any of you!

  • say something about it to her like "hey, how are you? good...blah blah.. so what's up? we haven't talked in a while.. it seemed like things were going nicely, I feel like you might have felt the same way " something along those lines, don't be over bearing and sound possessive but be bold. girls dig guys with balls

    • It definitely does. so many guys are afraid to approach girls, if they shut you down which most times they will...just smile and say 'no problem, it was nice to meet you' shake their hand and walk away

    • Really? And doesn't it take "Balls" to go up to a woman you've never spoken to before in your life and ask her out? I at least thought so...

    • This guy has the right idea. Balls = you get the woman.

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  • There is three options1) You either look really desperate and didn't take it slowly.2) You didn't seem interested enough and she though you were not interested on her, so she got mad at you and just left, or something really weird to scare her off3) She is incredibly shy.I will say number 3 though, rational people will talk to you no matter what. I am almost sure she is not like that with other people, and if she is she is no good for you.

    • I say a combo of both 2 and 3...

  • A lot of girls really don't know what they want, and they change their mind based upon their mood. This is at least what I've noticed.LOL. Girls probably think about guys the same way as they think about desserts. At first they see the strawberry shortcake, and they think that looks really nice and tempting. But then, they say to themselves, "But it has a lot of calories and will make me fat," so at the last minute, they decide not to eat it. Or they take a bite and then stop.One minute the cake is a good thing, the next it's a bad thing.Some girls like to just have the cake in front of them, even though they know they're going to say no. Other girls try to not even look at the cake, because they're afraid they're going to say yes.Guys on the other hand immediately decide whether they want to eat the cake or not, and then they do so for-better-or-worse. Even if we later realize we made the wrong decision, we try not to admit it.

    • ^^ That made me laugh.

    • Great. So this chick thought I was good enough to eat, but decided I would go straight to her thighs and passed?

  • I'm in the same situation with you. Although with me, it's a month and a half of going out and she out of the blue starting to completely ignore my calls or texts. I'm trying to back off but don't want to completely give up. It's a lose-lose. Either we are too pushy or we aren't passing their ' how interested is he in me' test...

  • You need to move on from girls that do this and don't be friends with them. She KNOWS that you are chasing her and she is getting her fix, not to mention boosting her ego. She is wasting your time playing these games, and sooner or later you will see her with someone else, and that will hurt even more. Don't talk to her again, your time is more valuable. Start dating other girls. If she tries to talk to you, say you have something to do and leave her standing there, stay busy. By doing this you stay a mystery, unpredictable, thus making her attracted to you. By telling your feelings you show your cards too quickly and you are no longer a challenge so never do that. These are the advantages that the bad boys have compared to the nice guys, and nice guys finish last. Girls get attention from guys all the time, so they wonder why someone doesn't pay attention to them when it happens. Be confident and move on. Don't be upset or hold any grudges, just have fun and live your life. It's call self esteem for a reason. Stop focusing on this girl or any 1 girl and focus on yourself. It's a game, but in this game, it's not how you play it's whether you win or lose. Change your game man.

    • So true, good answer

    • This is the answer. Trust me. A girl did this to me once, where it was on, then it wasn't. I ignored her after and kept on with my life, being not cut. She met another dude that couldn't compete against me, she started dating him, but found out he wasn't the guy, I moved on already and now she's just one of those girls. find a new one

  • I've been in a situation like this in the past with my current crush, you need to be her FRIEND, not just some guy trying to pick up a chick, girls often are unsure of guys they do not know very well, they think he is just planning a set-up or doubt he actually has feelings for her. I have been freinds with my crush for a long time, and she knows I like her, she definatley likes me too, but is having trouble coming right out and telling me. If you really like her, be her freind and eventually the inevatible will happen. My crush is taking a long time to come out and say it but she is slowely starting to show me how she feels about me.

    • If you believe in what hollywood tells you, then you are way to far gone from reality. My crush has even told me that she wants to hang out more to be sure of her feelings and she still flirts even though she knows how I feel but says she doesn't know how she feels, why would someone who would not want to date me continue to flirt with me after I told her how I felt, and she wants to hang out more to be sure?

    • And by the way, when women see guys like Tom Criuse or Denzel Washington who are professional liars, women throw their panties at them. So it's not about being friends first or even getting to know someone for the most part. All women aren't the same, but the vast majority do stuff like this...

    • That's not true, because attraction has nothing to do with being friends. When a guy is "friends" with a girl, she will only see him as a friend and nothing more. Think about it, when you have a crush on someone it's about attraction. Another thing is that many women KNOW who the good men are and aren't attracted to them, play games, then make excuses. Don't get me wrong, men do messed up things too, but good men don't get enough credit.

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  • It's common problems in almost all girls sometimes you feel she is too much close to you and next moment you feel she is away from you so it's very difficult to understand girls.

  • Can you give us some more details of the situation? How did she show she was into you? What did you do once you knew she was into you?

    • Are you a jets fan