Why are girls so into you one minute then the next avoid you like you're the plague?

I mean I know inside girls go crazy emotionally... is it to try show they are strong? Don't they know a guy has feelings, too?

How can a girl go from being so into you, to just pretending you don't exist? How does a guy deal with this?

Lets see... when you feel like someone is tailing you like a cop... you catch them looking and they immediately turn away or scratch their face and look in the opposite direction. Always near you. I tried speaking to her but got a cold response.
Classic signs of a girl with a crush. I think because I made a move I shocked her and now she avoids me?
To the guys responding... I'm not friends with this girl. In fact, I don't even know her. She basically followed me around like a puppy dog, and would "happen" to show in spots I was in... stare at me... etc... she was trying to be coy but wasn't.
I tried to talk to her and she was quick to get out of the conversation and get away from me. Since then she's not near me anymore and I see her less frequently. Maybe she wanted attention or maybe she is incredibly shy?
It comes down to either tigerlily19 is right or shes-a-lady is right.
What I would like to know from the girls - would you tell a guy you had a boyfriend, even if you didn't, but still liked him? What scenario's would apply to this? Would mine?
I know when a girl lies about having a boyfriend she does this to be somewhat polite in rejecting a guy... but I get a sense this girl lied to me for a different reason.
Since some LOSER who I private messaged in confidence decided to post details under an anonymous user - such a loser - mightr as well tell everyone... Gold's Gym in Peoria. Thanks Anonymous User. Whay don't you log in and post under your username next tim
Saw her in recent weeks and she has been up to her old habits staring, glaring with no smile and popping up in areas I would generally be in. She would look at me then turn around and walk away like she was trying to avoid me. Ladies: any ideas on this?
I did try to say something to her and this has gotten a bit ridiculous. She abruptly walked away when I approached her. This a game? She behaving like this just to get a rise out of me? She into me this badly? Its getting annoying.


Most Helpful Girl

  • i do that all the time. as soon as he shows interest I ignore him :-/

    fear of rejection & commitment, it's pretty simple.

    if you want her to open up again, you have to make clear that you like her and that you're totally serious.

    she might also doubt how serious you are, so she pretends you don't exist and waits to see how much effort you put in getting back to her.

    either way, what I mentioned above will work out :)

    • When I said hello, I asked her out. She said she has a boyfriend. I felt she was lying cause when I went up to her she was blushing and had a smirk on her face, but suddenly went cold. I thought that was end of it but the next week she showed up and was trying to get my attention. I freaked and left. Since then she ignores me.

    • Show All
    • Are you serious? I've been trying to figure that one out on my own for some time now. That happens to me. I show interest, she shows interest (everything is going great), and then she ignores me.

      I have a question. If a really good looking male came up to you and showed interest would you make it harder for him to get you if he was serious about liking you? I find it that girls can't trust me because I'm a very hansom guy...i guess they know I will always get attention from other girls?

    • all women want a man that is honest and loves himself, women play games sometimes, or do things unwillingly. you need to Set some standards…. if you set up an expectation with her as to how you expect to be treated, then you will be surprised how she may respond. For example, if a guy all of a sudden changed his normal pattern of texting me to not texting me, I would say something to the effect of “Listen, I don’t know why you all of a sudden changed from texting me all the time to all of a sudden no longer responding, but if you would like to continue moving forward with me, I need you to respond and let me know what happened. Otherwise, I will assume you are no longer interested. I would really be disappointed if that were the case because I still would like to keep getting to know you. You must know though, that I do not respond well to someone not responding to me and will move on if necessary. So if that is not what you want, please let me know by the end of day.”

What Girls Said 62

  • I was like that, the difference being that this girl is veeeery shy.

    But then she's proven she ain't as shy because she obviously followed you around.

    Once you approached her she realized how she screwed things up, in that now you

    know that she followed you and that = to really really...really liking you. And that p*sses her off or just simply makes her feel stupid and awkward around you. But trust me, she still likes you, how can I possibly know this, I don't know 100% but am damn sure she likes you. I just tell you because I did the same thing and so has every girl in this cite in knowing your schedule and 'accidentally' bumping into you. But you caught her, approached her and now she doesn't know what you think but trust me, she's dying to know. Next time you see her, stare her straight in the eye while smiling at her. That will make her feel better in that you both share the same attraction. Make your move when she keeps the eye contact and smiles.

    Good luck


    • I feel a bit better after this as I've been feeling real awkward and uncomfortable seeing her the last couple of months. She has a tough face (doesn't smile) so you don't know whether she's angry or hiding her feelings really well. I think she's knows what I think as I told her how I wanted to say hi to her and tried to give her my number. I'm not sure though if the boyfriend line was legit or she just freaked on the spot. Her coming the next week kinda made me feel she regretted the rejection.

  • Low blow, however broke your confidence.

    • There's confidence then there's confusion... I'm going with the latter.

    • Hang in there. The confusion usually clears. THe confidence has to remain steady at the helm. :-)

  • Sometimes the feeling you thought was there just vanishes -- or wasn't really there to begin with. At certain times of the month, girls are biologically programmed to be horny/seek out a mate. Really. So a girl may be strongly inclined to locate some eye candy, flirt like crazy and form an attachment. HOWEVER, because all the hormones are tamped down by logic, concerns they learned about STD, untimely pregnancy, and other responsibilities guys tend not to think about when they hit a horny patch, it seems like girls just switch off. It's not from a lack of wanting a guy, but from concerns based on logic and experience.

    • I don't think what you say applies to me.

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    • Hang in there. :-)

    • Thanks for your support : )

  • Maybe she didn't want the move to be made.

    Classic signs of a guy with a crush: assume the girl is incredibly into you when in reality maybe she was just being nice and wanted to be friends.

    I know I don't avoid someone if I'm into them. I avoid them if I know they're into me and I'm not into them.

    • When a girl wants to be friends she will talk to you. Not stare at you, and when you catch them they quickly turn away, blush or look down at the ground. Or am I wrong here?

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    • Not necessarily. Like I said, she's just looking for that added attention. Or maybe she's having problems with her boyfriend. Maybe both.

      When you didn't give her the attention she wanted to continue to have even after she told you she had a boyfriend, she decided to ignore you.

    • This is tough as what you say makes sense, but also what Shes-A-Lady writes makes sense to... I mean if she actually does have a boyfriend, that's cool as then I wouldn't be interested in someone who needs to mess with other people for attention. I'm just not sure if she's what you says she is or what Shes-A-Lady says she is...

  • not all girls like that. we can be emotionally stable or not. depends on the person.

    • Everyone is different - I agree.

  • your right we are emotional. I use to play mind games with this boy. And it would be so much fun to get him upset. I guess I did that because I hated that I liked him, so in someways I could have my cake and eat it to. I liked this guy so much that I couldn't show it. I could only show hate. I was embarrassed to show that I liked him. I didn't want to like him. I hated him and I just wanted to cause him pain for the hell of it He did somethings I didn't like and I wanted to get back at him. It was fun cause he believed things I told him. I think the girl whos doing this cold shoulder thing likes you and she wants you to talk to her badly. I never did think about his feelings, I didn't care. It was all about me. she could be mad that you won't came and talk to her. Or it could be my crazy reason. I have a strong feeling that she wants you to chase her, and make her feel wanted. Well I hope you can solve this problem. Good luck :)

    • This is why I don't take girls seriously. Also, be careful as messing with people's heads usually comes back to bite you.

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    • God woman, you are so childish...

    • That has to be the stupidest thing i've ever read. You will not attract the right people

  • You really don't want to think too much into this.

    It's the basic fact that girls are... undecisive.

    • Damn, so do i! :D

  • You said she has a boyfriend? She probably really does. I bet she's interested in you, and that's why you picked up those signals like her blushing, etc. However, the fact is she isn't ready to part with her boyfriend (and if you ask me, you should respect that, unless for example, he's a total abusive turd), and you being persistent scared her away. She's basically afraid of falling for you and ruining her current relationship, so she's avoiding you. She doesn't want to be MEAN because she does like you, but she won't be nice either because that will encourage you. She probably just wishes that you would avoid her too, so she can forget about you and get on with her life.

  • Well it really depends I mean I do that ONLY if the guy starts acting tht way to me!

  • For girls, guys always seem sweet and nice at 1st than boom the guy changes , and some girls don't like that change. For me if a guy seems like a player or I find something about him that is unexceptable like being a killer or a spy than I just stop talking to them. The reason I don't tell them is becasue guys are really good sweet talkers and plus if you ask them something or try and tell them they can just denie it like always. Also for some girls the best cover is to say that they have a boyfriend when they are single becasue it seems like a nice way to tell a guy your not interested. Also maybe she really did like you but you came off way to stronge or wanted to move too fast , she probabaly wants to talk to you but is afraid of what the conversation will lead to.

    • I get the "I have a boyfriend" line in a bar or a club... but from a girl who is trying to get your attention for months and even blushing when you approach her? That doesn't make much sense to me...

    • Sorry to say this but sometimes girls don't make any sense..if she is playing with your head like this than move on she isn't worth it.

    • Yea, I agree... I'm just so curious because I've never dealt with something like this in a place I'm there almost all the time. It's weird seeing the person under these circumstances. I think it would be like that for anyone.

  • If I were you, I'd wait for someone worth waiting for, as in someone who will not play head games ike many people have already mentioned, someone who will tell you straight up how she feels, although that can be difficult

  • Sometimes girls are TOTALLY into a guy..Like ther head of heels for them. But once they get to know them more..they don't like the way they are (like too clingy etc) so they ignore them. Then they complaiin and say "Jeeze, why won't he leave me alone" the next day. And its just the way we are (not all girls) Its just tht if we get over a guy..we want him to get over us too..otherwise we find it too creepy. But anyway bottom line is..If we like you one day and we don't the next day..its because we found something out bout you or discovered something from ur personality tht we don't like and wanna get away from.

    • This I understand as I've fell for girls before but once I got to know them I immediately ran for the hills!

    • I actually JUST posted a question on this.. 1 minute a girl will be head over heels into me then I make 1 misstep and she's running!

  • Did you met over the internet and she was into you before you met in person? :)

    • I did not meet her over the internet. I was at place to rehab from an accident and she was out in area outside the facility.

    • Explain your thought please : )

      I have met a few people that way, but it's always the same thing;

      get interested, feel really compatible, date goes good, afterwards they avoid like the plague.

      Guessing it's all about looks no matter what they say.

      Makes no sense to me, I wouldn't ignore someone like that no matter what.

  • if you did something wrong to her, to make her all of a sudden hate you, her reaction would be to get revenge. she'd try to get you jealous and make you feel like you did the wrong thing, and regret what you did to her. she'd want an apology. but in some cases deep down inside her heart she still likes you. to get a guy jealous or to stop liking me, I'd say I already have a boyfriend. some girls just say yes then like break up a few hours later just so tht she wouldn't have to say no to your face.

    or maybe she wants you to come to her. I normally like it when boys make the first move. but this may sometimes offend a girl.

    and try to gett to know her more. gett her to open up to you. and by the way, do leave the conversation hanging. always have a topic. otherwise it'll be very awkward.

    and if all els fails, just ask her. why would she hate you? if you're too scared/embarrassed then ask her bestfriend, she'd more then likely tell her everything.

    • I didn't do anything wrong other than try to be nice, which probably came off as way too strong and direct as some girls here have pointed out.

  • Maybe she's trying to get over you.

    • I say the whole thing is a big misunderstanding and since no one is saying anything it has become awkward.

  • well often girls are indesisive. another thing could be that she was just attracted to u. and then realizeed that she really didn't like u. ( no offense) Attraction to a person can be blinding, And then all the sudden we realize, o man I'm really not into this guy at all. better that way then end in a seriouse relashionship with a person who was only attracted to u. people let it fog their judgement , & end up having to have a hard break up or divorce. because usually attraction doesn't lead to greatness, unless another element is involved.

    • I think this is why men go see prostitutes.

  • im a girl who does this. its called teasing them to see how you guys really feel about them

  • So I've been IN LOVE with a guy for a couple of years and he used to be my friend b4 but a lot stuff happened and I don't know how he feels so I jsut totally ignore him and act liek he doesn't even exsist and when he looks at me I just stare and break away really fast and I jsut wish he was upfront about how he felt because that would ake my life a lot easier!

  • She seems a bit shy to me or maybe you misready her body language.

    • No way I misread her body language. She was pretty obvious. Its what's between her ears that is a mysetery.

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    • Yes and No. Mostly I would catch her staring then she would either look away or put her down. One time I happened to see her on my way to my car and she smiled but then quickly turned her head touching her face. The only other time she smiled was when I went up to her and said hi. Still, even then I got rejected.

    • Sounds like she's scared

  • well, this is what I think. cause I think I am doing the same thing to the guy I like.

    anyway, well. the guy I like has known that I liked him for about 10 weeks now.

    well, the thing is. there are different possibilities.

    1. She has lost interest in you.

    The one thing everyone hates to hear. She has lost interest in you. She might think that she has been waiting for too long or maybe she got to know you and your personality and realised that it is not what she thought and wanted. Again, don't ignore her. Be friends. You might never know when she starts liking you again. Women are like that. We are indecisive.

    2. She is embarassed

    Haha. So me. Well. the thing is she doesn't know that you like her. If she did, she would have probably pursued and you wouldn't have this problem. Now, she doesn't know that you like her. She might think that you don't care about her that way. She might feel like a fool for even pursuing someone who doesn't feel the same way. So, she uses the 'i am emotionally strong' face. She doesn't want to show you that she gets hurt easily. She is not clear about who you like. So, this is basically because she doesn't wanna look like a fool.

    3. She wants you to make the effort.

    Again, the play hard to get scenario. She might be playing hard to get by making herself look uninterested in you to see whether you would pursue her. Some girls will make you chase them for quite a long time. Some girls may make you chase them for a short period of time. Again, be aware of the situation. If she plays REALLY hard to get, she might not be a girl that you should be chasing.

    I guess, you have to read the signs. If she looks at you a lot, she does like you and wants you to chase her. Well, I hope this helped. Based on my experience anyway.

    • I think its all 3 rolled into one.

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    • Okay. your strangers. now that's harder.

      basically, if you think she has a boyfriend, just forget her and move on.

      but if not, I guess, you just have start the conversation and if she still doesn't

      talk to you, it might be best to just forget her.

    • I think another person here had it right --- I busted a secret admirer. I don't think she ever thought I would say anything to her, and when I surprisingly did, she got freaked out. I still say she lied about the boyfriend --- it was the way she said it and the expression on her face. Just a gut feeling.

  • I think because you made the move that it is awkward for her. I was like that when a boy that was my friend asked me out and I rejected him, even though I feel terrible about it now. It was really uncomfortable with him for a little while. I would think that you should tell her exactly what's wrong, because we don't take little hints lightly and it could be the only way to get through to her. Best wishes!

    • "we don't take little hints lightly"...yet girls flirt with subtle hints and body language. reason #5 million why girls ARE confusing lol

    • True.

  • Unfortunately sir, not all girls can admit that guys have feelings. Those who do know don't exactly know how to react to that.. Personally a guy with emotion is a beautiful thing to me, but I am the opposite type; I'm very enthusiastic and wear my heart on my sleeve.. Also, I would not lie about something like that. If the situation arose, I would politely say "I don't have a boyfriend but I'm not honestly interested in a romantic situation with you right now.. Maybe we could be friends?" Personally I think that girl was very shy, and probably doesn't know what she wants from you, if anything. Good luck sir! ^_^

    • Oh and I'm sorry if "sir" sounded rude or sarcastic at all, I tend to call older guys that, and I saw your age before answering so that wording was kind of impulsive.. I didn't mean to imply that you're 'old' or anything. XD

    • Lol when has 30 become 60?

    • I said that I did not intend to imply that you are old.

      It's a habit of mine to refer to men older than me 'mister' or 'sir'. Example, to guy stocking shelves in the store, probably in his 20s: "Hey mister/Excuse me sir, do you have Diet Dr. Pepper in stock today?"

  • maybe they found something out that they didn't like. or was offended in some way. yes we girls over analyze everything!

  • Honestly, when a guy hits on a girl...and the girl is not interested...she sometimes feel awkward when she sees you again. I do it also, a guy @ my job tried to hit on me--I avoided him like the plauge because he was like old enough to be my father--BUT THAT'S ANOTHER STORY! =(

    Sometimes a girl may say she has a boyfriend...because that makes her more desirable in the OTHER guys eyes. Hey, its only normal to want something that someone else has.

    If I was you...I would move on from this girl. She seems to be shy but following you around like a puppy is a little wierd. You have to determine wether she is worht your time or not. I think she isn't...but if you want to find out...just confront her! ASK her...

    • 1) When a guy randomly hits on a girl - a girl who never noticed him before or gave him signs that she might be interested - then I can see her feeling awkward as she didn't want anything to do with the guy in the first place.

      2) To say you have a boyfriend - a total lie - to make your self more desirable is beyond stupid as you're only going to push the guy away.

      3) The behavior makes me curious but also less interested. I would like one conversation to clear up any possible misconceptions.

    • Well, whatever. opinion are like assholes everyone has them. good luck!

    • I would only hit on a girl if I felt she was giving me signs. I do agree with your last comments about moving on... it's become too much of a headache now to pursue anything.

  • Several options. As always. But I guess its up to you to see which one you want.

    She could be unsure how you feel. She could be insecure and not think that you would want her. Very shy if she does like you and you get a cold response when you talk to her.

    OR and I could be wrong on this but she might not be interested at all. Has noticed you checking her out and can feel you like her but doesn't want anymore hence the mentioning a boyfriend.

    Im guilty of saying that when I want to get male attention off my back. BUT I could be very wrong. If a guy is keen on me and I'm not keen on them I will ask them for advice on males. BUT lot of males cannot be stopped. They will keep trying.

    • It could be everything you suggest but at some point (like now) you get exhausted and just let it go.

    • Its really not worth the hassle. I know dating and love isn't meant to be easy but when you start thinking about everything. Its not worth it :) Don't fall for someone who makes you doubt yourself.

    • You and tigerlily19 seem to be on the same page.

  • I think she does like u

    so she acts az if she doesn't

    n a way 2 protect herself

    u saying" she followed ma around like a puppy dog"

    seemed kinda ignorant...

    2get ova a guy I tlk 2 others

    so mayb she's over you lol

  • I know girls are very confusing and complicated to guys and vice versa. This girl's running hot and cold as she's confused too... But the best thing to do is just be straightforward and talk about it with her. Communication often solves problems.

    And the boyfriend thing? It's an effective defense mechanism. We don't want the guy to know so we lie about having a boyfriend in case we do something that'll make it obvious. I once used it was because people kept bullying me about liking someone, so I lied to get them to leave me alone. But I wouldn't worry about the lying about a boyfriend. Just ask and you'll find out.

    Hope this helped :)

    • I always thought when a girl lies about having a boyfriend its her way of saying: "Not interested. Get lost!" Also, when a girl lies like that to you the first time you approach her, there better be a good excuse, as I'm not too keen on people who lie. If it was a defense mechanism to play it safe, then I can accept that.

  • We Actually feel the same way sometimes ... so maybe that could be the reason!

    • Only way to know is to talk. Problem is I don't think that will ever happen!

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    • If she didn't slam the door in my face with the boyfriend line I would approach her again. I understand why she did it (Best Answer Above) but its gotten to the point where too much time has passed and I don't see it going anywhere.

    • Exactly. Forget about hefr, she's not worh it :D.

  • Maybe she´s not actually into you. This happened to me last week. I have a friend, and that's all he was to me. I was nice to him and liked hanging out with him, then he decides to ask me out... ever since then I have not talked to him or seen him. We had a good friendship and I don´t know what made him ask me out. Move slow and make sure she´s really into you.

    • I don't understand why you're avoiding him. You might be a little caught off guard, but why let that mess up a good friendship? Why not just go back to the way things were?

    • I agree. :/ This happened with one of my guy friends and me once. He thought that I liked him but I was just being friendly. x____x;;;;

    • I'm not friends with her! I don't even know her! She went out of her way to get my attention. Then I catch her staring and when I would look at her she would either blush, look away or look down at the ground. I took as she was shy and liked me, so I asked her out on spot and she told me she had a boyfriend... then the next week she came back and tried to get my attention and talk to me, but I ignored her as I was confused by her behavior. Since then we just pass each other and nothing happens.

  • i think she's shy and doesn't know what to say. try confronting her and tell her how you feel. then she'll be force to answer you. she probly just likes you so much she gets caught up whenever sh's near you...

    • If this is true, then I'm all set! She either was telling the truth she has a boyfriend and just wanted attention or she thought I was a player and made it up.

    • If she told you she had a boyfriend, then just hook up with someone else. if she was lying then she'd become jealous and do something to get you back. if not, then at least you hooked up with someone.

    • I just wonder why all the effort to get me to notice her - I mean we're possibly talking about a person altering their schedule to find out my schedule and follow me around. I would like to know if she lied ot me or not. It's hard though to keep seeing her now that I'm at a disadvantage. I'll try to hook up with women right in front of her!

  • More from Girls

What Guys Said 31

  • Although their difficult. I'll hit you with Some realness. Ignore her. Most women if attracted respond to a man who blows them off. Works for me. Its like you gotta beat them at their own game. I know it blows but it works. Most of the time their not worth it but if you do want to give it a try. I would just ignore her to the extent where you convince her she doesn't exist? If she's really interested she might make an attempt to be on speaking terms or more. Don't know what it is with women and men who ignore them but it works every time. Lol It's actually pretty funny. Think I'm lying try it with multiple women. Through them idle hints like they do you, guaranteed a few of them will respond others you might need to make the first move. But you already have made the first move with her. Usually when they turn the tables like that hitting them with their own game usually works if she was interested. Definitely seems like she has feelings but do you really want a women who devout that much attention to you while in a relationship, lies to your face, or a ridiculous attention seeker.

    • All I need is one conversation with her and I will know who I am dealing with... if I get a sense she's nuts, I'll lose interest fast and that will be that. If I get the feeling she's shy and panicked on the spot, then I'll give her a chance... I think a smile and hello from me might be the answer. As of right now all I'm doing is ignoring her and she could be taking it as "he's angry and wants nothing to do with me."

    • Either way if you continue. I think itll show you had some feelings for her. There was this girl I complemented in class, and she took it as I was trying to get in her pants and telling me she had a b/f. Told me to find someone else to be friends with. I blew her off from that point forwarded even when she attempted to be on speaking terms with me. But she would be staring at me all day in class would go out her way to sit next to me, etc. some of them are to full of themselves.

  • A lot of girls really don't know what they want, and they change their mind based upon their mood. This is at least what I've noticed.

    LOL. Girls probably think about guys the same way as they think about desserts. At first they see the strawberry shortcake, and they think that looks really nice and tempting. But then, they say to themselves, "But it has a lot of calories and will make me fat," so at the last minute, they decide not to eat it. Or they take a bite and then stop.

    One minute the cake is a good thing, the next it's a bad thing.

    Some girls like to just have the cake in front of them, even though they know they're going to say no. Other girls try to not even look at the cake, because they're afraid they're going to say yes.

    Guys on the other hand immediately decide whether they want to eat the cake or not, and then they do so for-better-or-worse. Even if we later realize we made the wrong decision, we try not to admit it.

    • Great. So this chick thought I was good enough to eat, but decided I would go straight to her thighs and passed?

    • ^^ That made me laugh.

  • You need to move on from girls that do this and don't be friends with them. She KNOWS that you are chasing her and she is getting her fix, not to mention boosting her ego. She is wasting your time playing these games, and sooner or later you will see her with someone else, and that will hurt even more. Don't talk to her again, your time is more valuable. Start dating other girls. If she tries to talk to you, say you have something to do and leave her standing there, stay busy. By doing this you stay a mystery, unpredictable, thus making her attracted to you. By telling your feelings you show your cards too quickly and you are no longer a challenge so never do that. These are the advantages that the bad boys have compared to the nice guys, and nice guys finish last. Girls get attention from guys all the time, so they wonder why someone doesn't pay attention to them when it happens. Be confident and move on. Don't be upset or hold any grudges, just have fun and live your life. It's call self esteem for a reason. Stop focusing on this girl or any 1 girl and focus on yourself. It's a game, but in this game, it's not how you play it's whether you win or lose. Change your game man.

    • This is the answer. Trust me. A girl did this to me once, where it was on, then it wasn't. I ignored her after and kept on with my life, being not cut. She met another dude that couldn't compete against me, she started dating him, but found out he wasn't the guy, I moved on already and now she's just one of those girls. find a new one

    • So true, good answer

  • Can you give us some more details of the situation? How did she show she was into you? What did you do once you knew she was into you?

  • Hello,

    I tend to not get involved with girls like this.. if she's gets scared and runs off then she's frankly crazy.. I have no time to spend trying to "convince" a girl I'm interested in them.. I've done it too many times in the past and there were always 2 outcomes..

    1: She gets bored with you and finds another guy.. (its a mirical I know all a sudden she's not scared of getting hurt)

    2: She comes back to you before getting scared again and running off, and the whole cycle repeats itself

    In both case the women cares nothing for your feelings in the matter.. after all if a women really liked you why would she do somthing that hurt you?.. the answer is she wouldnt.. she would get over her fears..

    But the big question si WHY would you want to convince a women like that.. after all dating a women is all about finding the one girl.. if she runs in the early stanges what's she going to be like if you ever get marrid or have kids? will she run EVERY time life gets hard.. could you trust a women like that to pull her weight in the relationship.. I would say no you cant

    Leave her alone for another guy to deal with

    Good Luck


  • Great question! I'd give you my opinion, but you've clearly gotten plenty of good answers... and not so great answers. I think ultimately it comes down to how interested someone is in someone that runs like that, either hoit pursuit and come off like an obssesive prick and or end up with her through sheer determination, or try to put her out of sight and out of mind. At least those are the two things I usually end up doing until something happens, I usually end up going with the second choice, I'm not into those games, if someone's into you they should at some point show it, especially if you've been blunt and or very apparent/upfront about your/my interest in someone, at least that's how I see it.

    Anyways, best of luck to you and hope everything works out.

  • I had a nearly identical situation happen to me. She was interested no doubt, then ignored me and told me she got back together with her bf. She also did something really mean to me which I won't get into here, but lets just say she apologized 5 months too late and after I reminded her...needless to say, she's an asshole and even though I told her I want to remain friend, I don't consider her one. As much as I liked her I know I can never feel the same way about her since she is an ass. I would say you can try to be friends, but like some of the other guys have said, don't fool yourself. It is vastly more probable that nothing will happen. For whatever reason girls like this just don't get it, and they deserve not to get any of you!

  • BC they're women and that's what they do to guys that let them get away with it. Find a new one.

  • Its called "cat string theory."

    If you wave a piece of string in front of yoru cats face then pull it away, your cat is mesmerized by it. However, if you actually give the cat the string, she sniffs it once then looks away.

    Humans are like the cat, we like the shiny thing that is just out of our reach, we like to pursue, we are tantalized by what retreats from us when we reach for it.

    In this case, you are the string, the girl is the cat. Next time, maybe let her enjoy chasing you, let her wonder, unsure if she can get you or not for a little while.

    Just a thought.

    And byw, it does not sound like things went very far between you 2, so I would not say there is much lost in this case, just move on to another girl, then you'll forget all about miss "she stood too close to me, then she didn't stand close to me anymore."

    Thats my 2 cents.

  • If no alcohol was envolved in either case..

    Then in most cases the guy became too clingy...

    Or sometimes she met someone else.. but most cases the guy became too clingy...

  • I read all the comments and there was a wealth of wisdom here. Unfortunately you are way in your head. That's why she is avoiding you. You need to stop thinking what people think of you and live your life the way you want to and not how people are going to respond to it.

    • I agree. My curiosity got the best of me here. I think everyone here could be right one way or another. I pretty much got what I needed - lots of opinions. Enough to tell me I was wrong in how I approached her and waiting much too long to say something. I'm happy I went out of my way to say something, but left feeling like something isn't right... regardless, time to move on!

    • Well if you got anything right out of this, its is called experience. Awesome attitude! Cheers!

  • I can you simple advice. DELETE HER FROM YOUR EYES. This means, IGNORE HER!. This girl disrespected your ego of manly. She arogantly started, walked, and stalked you but refused to accept your polite aproach to even get know each other. In otherwords, becareful because she might be spying you for somethings you don't remember now. Did you have friends you fought with, maybe she is a hired hatewomen who wishes not be seen talking to each other but studying you? maybe she is suffering from common autism sydrome? Or maybe she is suffering from isolation and wishes to have friends or even boyfriend but due to circumstances she is unable to socialize? Be polite but also ignore her as she is not there. if she becomes more interesting in you and stars at you. Than look around, sit in front of her and say, "hey, I think you are hatewomen and you want to kill me! Is why you are staring at me?! Her anwer shouuld be answer of her life. Because she would either protest and say, NO, I don't to kill or and you initiate the conversation from that. Otherwise, ignore women who ignore you presence because it is very disrespectful and humaliating act and behavior.

    • Girls should delete guys who play with their emotions and with their heads. don't introduce yourself as the wolf in sheeps clothing then lead her on. then make out with her/f*** her then slowly pull away. then call her for some booty but pretends to be missing her before the deed. then disappears for sometime. you know that hurts us girls you know. we are sweethearts when you show us how much you like us but then you started being a d*** then yea you pretty much get the bitch out.

  • Probably because they found a deal breaker that is unique to them. I wouldn't worry about it. If one girl looses interest, then on to the next one.

  • Maybe she heard a bad rumor about you.

  • They're girls. They're weird like that. BAM BEST ANSWER!

  • say something about it to her like "hey, how are you? good...blah blah.. so what's up? we haven't talked in a while.. it seemed like things were going nicely, I feel like you might have felt the same way "

    something along those lines, don't be over bearing and sound possessive but be bold. girls dig guys with balls

    • I already made the move... she knows I like her. I am thinking about saying something to her again but it can't be forced. She has to revert to her old behavior and make herself available to me.

    • Show All
    • Really? And doesn't it take "Balls" to go up to a woman you've never spoken to before in your life and ask her out? I at least thought so...

    • It definitely does. so many guys are afraid to approach girls, if they shut you down which most times they will...just smile and say 'no problem, it was nice to meet you' shake their hand and walk away

  • uhhhh...

    first off, how can you be 30-35 and you don't already know that all women are freaking crazy? Like, almost certifiable? practically normal...

    my old lady (20+ years now...) kind of "stalked me".

    found out later, she was SO shy and inexperienced, she clammed up and didn't know what to say...

  • I've been in a situation like this in the past with my current crush, you need to be her FRIEND, not just some guy trying to pick up a chick, girls often are unsure of guys they do not know very well, they think he is just planning a set-up or doubt he actually has feelings for her. I have been freinds with my crush for a long time, and she knows I like her, she definatley likes me too, but is having trouble coming right out and telling me. If you really like her, be her freind and eventually the inevatible will happen. My crush is taking a long time to come out and say it but she is slowely starting to show me how she feels about me.

    • Mate she ain't showing you anything, u're just dreaming...

      DO NOT ever be friends with a girl you have a crush on.. If you like the girl, come out and say it, and if she is not into you, just move on.. period, they are plenty of other girls out there.

    • Show All
    • And by the way, when women see guys like Tom Criuse or Denzel Washington who are professional liars, women throw their panties at them. So it's not about being friends first or even getting to know someone for the most part. All women aren't the same, but the vast majority do stuff like this...

    • If you believe in what hollywood tells you, then you are way to far gone from reality. My crush has even told me that she wants to hang out more to be sure of her feelings and she still flirts even though she knows how I feel but says she doesn't know how she feels, why would someone who would not want to date me continue to flirt with me after I told her how I felt, and she wants to hang out more to be sure?

  • One of two things...

    - She either lost interest in you because you are "too nice" (nice guys finish last, overly sensitive ones don't place at all), or she's playing hard to get. I'm willing to go for the first one. I stopped giving a **** about what women thought, and that landed me a girlfriend after two dates.

    I was in your position. To be successful, you need to be..

    a.) Funny

    b.) Cocky

    c.) Independent

    If you have all of these three traits and know how to use them in unison with one another, then you're golden. It's like the quote goes, "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything". To keep a girl interested, you need to stop being at her every beck and call, stop following her and chasing her (make her chase you), have a life, be funny, be charming, and for God's sake, be confident.

    How would I deal with it? I WOULD MOVE ON, because there are MANY pebbles on the beach. That's the type of attitude you have. I have told my current girlfriend many times, "if you don't like me or the person that I am, there's the door.." and I would point to the door. That type of confidence landed me four rounds of you-know-what. Take my advice.

    • Mind you, that "you-know-what" happened on the second date.

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    • Uhm, just my though: there are many girls out there. if ur an awesome guy, there will be plenty of girls waiting to get you. so don't waste your time on someone who isn't sure what she wants. if she wants u, she would have made it known... right? if she wants you but doesn't want to work for it... then she isn't worth ur time.

      maybe ignore her for abit and see her reaction. then move from there.

      then again, if you aren't awesome, get awesome. don't settle.

      i personally think cdeyoung's quite right :/

    • This is ridiculous!

      Your girlfriend is a desperate fool!

      Any man who treats me like the way you decribed would be out the door faster than you can say "Bo!".

      Yes I like a confident, funny and independent man, but I also like a doting, kind and caring man. I don't chase men and I don't expect him to chase me either. If I like him and he likes me, we meet half way.Do me a favour and stop passing this bullsh*t information around to young and impressionable men. How old are you?!!!

  • There is three options

    1) You either look really desperate and didn't take it slowly.

    2) You didn't seem interested enough and she though you were not interested on her, so she got mad at you and just left, or something really weird to scare her off

    3) She is incredibly shy.

    I will say number 3 though, rational people will talk to you no matter what. I am almost sure she is not like that with other people, and if she is she is no good for you.

    • I say a combo of both 2 and 3...

  • It's because you probably flirted with her one day and then didn't f*** her, then the next day she thinks "oh f*** I shouldnt have been so horny with him, what a slut I am, next time I'm putting my guards up." In the mood the moment its okay, but when she's you didn't f*** her, she thinks it was all her fault for acting so sexy with u, ya know. She thinks you don't like her. But if ya f***ed her, then its a whole different story, where she will fall in love with you haha!

    • Next time I see her, I will bang her. Thanks!

  • shake that seen bro. i use to play those games with those girls and i'm going to tell you that these girls are ALWAYS headaches. Low self esteem bullshit. Its called SELF esteem not "other person esteem"

  • you goota keep them girls interested by playing games with them .. just work on flirting and keeping girl interested. link

    • I'm not that type of person. Either you're interested or you're not. I think she's come to the conclusion I'm not the type of guy who will chase her. Her loss.

  • or she might be an attention whore I'm not sure but I might have to see how she is in real life to really determine but other then that let laugh for a sec check out this link rolfmao link

  • They are called cock-teasers bro. You think you were the only one they were giving all that attention to? You think you were the only one they were "crazy" about?

    Reality is that most girls do this kind of thing until their late 30's, when they no longer look good enough to cock-tease.

    And rest assured, while a good guy like you is left wondering wtf just happened, she is surely doing nasty dirty things with the bad-boy tatoo'd motorcyclist down the road. Put your money on it. That's the dating game today. That's how it works. As a decent guy you have NO chips at the poker table, you are up the creek without a paddle.

    • I hear you. Point taken.

    • Ok i use to be the bad boy but then became man. I dated a lot of women and banged a lot as well. My conclusion is they like the bad boy for sex, and the soft manipulated nerd for a boyfriend. Just look around you and see it

  • I'm in the same situation with you. Although with me, it's a month and a half of going out and she out of the blue starting to completely ignore my calls or texts. I'm trying to back off but don't want to completely give up.

    It's a lose-lose. Either we are too pushy or we aren't passing their ' how interested is he in me' test...

  • That's a good question man.I started dating a girl and she acted so into me,wanted to text and email and talk on the phone everyday.Told me we would talk everyday and get to know each other.told me I wasa great guy.then she stands me up on a hike date.no call or anything.even ignored me when I text her to ask what was wrong.then sends me a 2 sentence email saying.sorry for everything but my ex boyfriend wants to work things out.,said she was so confused.I just asked her why she didn't call me and explain and cancel,and she said I guess you want pity now,well here it is.what did I do to deserve that.said I didn't do anything wrong but she completely ignores me now

  • There are only two options:

    1) You was in a good mood and this became contagious to her, once your mood changed, hers changed too.

    2) She is trying to see if you are for real and can take a little social pressure without pussying out.

    • 1) Doesn't apply to my situation.

      2) Maybe...real vs. player I can see that argument. Now she told me she's got a guy, so all I can do is back off, so not sure where being a p**** fits in here...

    • Based on your answer is definitely number one because you are thinking too much about her, that means you already scared her away.. Your insecurity reflects in she rejecting you.

    • Maybe you're right.

  • Its quite simple. Women act on their emotions. And by acting on your emotions, which change all the time, you can't make sound decisions. For this reason, women don't know what they want and constantly change their minds.

  • Younger girls are immature, no matter what, deal with it or live with it, or kick their butts away.

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