I hate my body so much. How can I build my self image?

[Anonymous]

I'm a 17 year old girl and I can't stand my body. I'm 5'1 and about a size 0. but I hate it. I have no assets. I'm flat. (32A), have a flat stomach, no hips,weird fat butt, big thighs, and short legs. I wish I was slim with an hour glass figure and long legs, but instead I look like a boy. I've tired gaining weight and it doesn't work for me.

I've only been with one guy and he said he liked my body but I don't believe him. He said he liked smaller boobs, but he dumped me a few days after he went up my shirt. He told me that he didn't want a girlfriend at the moment. I've been told I have nice butt, but it's just flabby. I can't tone it no matter what. I work out, but my legs get the definition, not my butt.

I want to like my body but it's so hard. I feel like no guys will ever like me because of my body. Please help me.

[bobair]

The less you like your own skin, the less everyone else will too. It's pretty natural for guys to avoid girls who have low self esteem. Mostly because these types of girls are high maintenance... always needing assurance and compliments.

So you're very smart to focus your energy on improving your self image! You're already on the right track. Don't make the mistake that many young women make - changing how they look to get the approval of boys. Instead change how you feel, not how you look. How you feel comes from a healthy diet, exercise, and inner dialogue.

This is important because how you FEEL about yourself influences how everyone else feels about you too. Women who LOVE their own skin, no matter how they look, are ALWAYS more sexy and fun to be around. It's takes the stress of us guys when the girl is already super comfortable with herself.

It's your inner dialogue that you need to address.

Somewhere along the line you've decided that you're not good enough. And if you're not willing to truly love yourself, why should anyone else?

The best place to get advice for this type if inner-talk is from an older mature woman who's full of life and confidence and who's willing to mentor you by answering your questions and giving you advice. Sometimes that's mom, sometimes that's a super awesome teacher, sometimes that's an aunt, etc. Find a woman who's been there and done that. She'll open your eyes up.

On a side-note: Me and ALL my guy friends prefer tiny women. I only date women shorter than 5'2". I'm serious. The small women are so cute, sweet, and easy to spin in the air. So trust me when I say that your tiny size is a total asset. Do you know how many girls your age hate themselves because they're too big?

Think of yourself like you'd like of your super lovable little sister. Pay attention to the negative things you tell yourself, write them down, then ask yourself if you would ever say those things to your cute little sister (let's make her 5 years old.) Would tell her that her boobs are too small? Or that she's too short for guys to like her? God, I hope not.

If what you're thinking isn't nice to say to her, then why would it be okay to say to yourself?

Start with treating yourself better. Find reasons to love who you are, and ignore EVERYTHING else. Because the only person who's opinion matters, in this world or the next, is YOURS! Everyone else is busy being responsible for themselves, and so should you.

Hope you realize what I'm saying. Good luck shorty,

~ Robby

My Blog ( link )

[LuvemButCantLeaveEm]

First cliche but its so true. You have to loove yourself or no one will give a rats ass. Be confident in who you are. Its never easy to love everything about you. If you keep nit picking at what you do and don't have then you're tearing yourself apart before you even give yourself a chance. If you're a mess, what guy is going to wnat to deal with that and wnat to stay? not al lot . There are always ways to fix certain things by surgery but are you really going to go through all of that? I mean basiclaly if it's not one thing it's the other. Don't loose yourself in what you should look like and be happy and that guy, why do you care? Aren't you glad you found out before you had feelings for him? It only bothers you so much because you think that other guys feel the same. Not ever guy has the same image of how a girl sould look. Work on telling yourself how wonderful you are. if you are. I have no clue but yeah anyways ry to give yourself compliments and know that no one should make you feel like less than you are.

[acote]

I feel you girl. Looking around at every other girl, admiring different things about their bodies wishing you could have those same features and cursing yourself because you dont. It is a very hard thing to get over, especially when us women are surrounded by images of these seemingly perfect women.

Well guess what honey, you aren't alone.

I have struggled with many insecurities as well, along with just about every woman in this country. But I have a very good and very close friend who told me, you don't have to be happy with your body. Being completely happy with it is probably out of reach. What you need to do is find at least ONE thing, no matter how small it may be, just one thing about your body that you enjoy. And once you know what part that is, spoil it. Pamper the crap out of that piece of you. Just love the hell out of it and pay no mind to the other pieces.

You don't want to point out all of the things that you don't like about yourself to men. Can you imagine sitting across from a gorgeous man, and rambling off all of those things that you just said you don't like. He will be sitting there listening to that and probably start seeing it himself.

Instead, only mention things that you like. Even if its not a physical characteristic. Maybe you have a great laugh that makes others want to laugh with you, Or maybe you are good at a sport or cooking or a great artist. These are things you should focus on and show off to other people. Then those are the things that they will see when they look at you.

If someone has told you that you have a nice booty, the shoot, don't argue the point with them and say its flabby and that they are wrong, shake the hell out of it and be proud! I get insecure about my small chest a lot. Especially during the summer with busty ladies are showing off the goods. But no matter how hard it is to really believe it at times, there ARE men out there who prefer a smaller chest. My boyfriend says that there's nothing he dislikes more than a big floppy boob! Mine are perky and fun!

Oh and by the way. . . Id love to have a flat stomach, so girl, if you can't do it for yourself, then do it for me, and show that thing off !

[timberlake]

do you know how many women would tell you they hate their body? my friend has the body you want (slim, hour glass) and she cannot stand having it. her clothes never fit right or her ass is too big or her chest is too small to match her bottom half..blah, blah, blah. we're all self-conscious about something and what one person perceives as attractive, another may not. somebody is going to love your body, somebody's going to hate it. that's just the reality. but guess what?

it doesn't matter. YOU matter. start loving yourself. start appreciating the fact that you don't have to pay a sh*tload of money on bras (I used to be a DD and my sister's a triple D). back problems, not being able to get dresses/tops over my chest...so frustrating.

flat stomach? that's something I cannot accomplish. I've tried everything and I've got a little soft belly still staring at me when I look in the mirror lol

short legs are frustrating (5'1 myself) but at the same time, I love being able to get away with wearing tops as dresses or not towering over the guys I like. have girl friends who are nearly 6

feet tall and the first thing they say? "i wish I were short"

do you see what I'm saying here? you've gotta take what you have and know that it makes you who you are and that you are beautiful to somebody, but it's more important that you're beautiful to yourself.

that guy breaking up with you was just coincidence, sweetheart. he wouldn't have dated you in the first place if he didn't like your boobs, it's probably the first thing he saw meeting you. you're just letting that little nasty voice inside of your head tell you you're not pretty enough - NOT the case.

at any rate, I used to have the butt issue too until I spent 30 minutes on the treadmill at 3 miles/hour at an incline. give it a couple weeks and you'll see the firmness. also try squats and side leg lifts. my thighs and butt are my problem areas and doing these help a LOT.

[CuddlyCarla]

Really? Wow, I'm 5'0, size 2, and I love my body. I love my height. I love being me. No, I'm not a societal ideal and I don't care. Happiness and comfort come from within and it's important to learn how to love yourself. At your age, most people don't, and I probably didn't either. I assure you that in time, that'll change and it's your responsibility to keep moving forward and be positive and work at that. I was flat too, I developed more in my 20s. I have short legs too, I love it. And I'm boyish but that's never stopped me from having fun and attracting sweet sexy men. Self-confidence is really sexy and once you acquire it, you'll have all sorts of fun. Don't spend your life wishing you were someone else, embrace who you are and do what you can to be the person you want to be, you have so much time. Gaining weight isn't hard but why would you want to? Women are killing themselves to be your size, enjoy it. If you don't feel it's coming in handy now, just wait, it will. I'm sorry your ex-boyfriend was a jerk, we've all had a bad one every now and then. Don't take it personal, a jerk is a jerk to any girl. Move forward and find a better one next time, you're worth it. And again, if you have low confidence and low self-esteem, you'll just attract more jerks, do snap out of it. If you can't shape your butt, you are doing the wrong exercises. You are a human being, if others can do it, so can you. Don't limit yourself or your possibilities or find excuses to give up, just research and try new things and find solutions. You can absolutely sculpt your body any way you want to, there's plenty of information about whatever change you want to make. Don't put all this pressure on yourself to just like your body, learn to like the rest of you too and that will follow. You go, girl!

[ShesMygirl]

Awww sugar. Please listen and trust what I have to say here.

We are our own worst critics. We see every flaw, every scar, every little thing about how we look that drives us nuts.

Guess what? Almost all of that stuff makes no difference to other people. I had a small mole removed from above my eye when I was much MUCH lol younger. Why? I hated it. Go figure, a few women I knew were upset, as they thought it was cute, or added something to my features they couldn't really put into words.

One of my best friends LOVES women with small chests. I mean that is something he talks about like I talk about sexy eyes, or nice legs. We all like different things.

It sounds like the excercises you do are targeting your legs. You can go online and find things that will target your gluts to bring definition, or talk to a trainer.

Lastly...self image.

Start using your subconsious.

Revoke the permission you gave yourself to say bad things about how you look. Heck, cover the mirrors if you need to for now. It takes about 60 days to break a bad habit, but if you aren't replacing it with a good one then it isn't going to help.

Mantras...every morning and every night. Something good about yourself that you repeat OUTLOUD a few times...with feeling :) Got to a book store and look in the self help section. You will find all kinds of material dealing with this.

Remember Rome wasn't built in a day...stick with it

It did however burn fast, so don't quit.

[ritaisle]

There are some women who are naturally slim. There is nothing wrong with this, some men like this, just like there are some men who light heavier set women. But it is not about what men want, it is about you loving yourself. Maybe you should try talking to your school counselor. They might know more about building self-esteem.

I used to have low self-esteem, but changed it upside down in one day. I simply got sick of feeling ugly & looked into the mirror & said, "Is there really anything wrong with this person. If you saw her on the street, would she scare you because she is so ugly. No, because there is nothing wrong with you. You have some flaws, but nothing that bad." Of course I said this in my head, not out loud, lol. But the point is, I took control of my self-esteem. I decided I was average, & that there was nothing wrong with that. As time went by, I developed even more love for myself. Now, I wouldn't change what I look like for anything. I'm not Britney Spears, but I'm me & that is good enough. You could try talking to yourself in the mirror, but if t doesn't work, I'd suggest talking to your counselor. There really is nothing more important than self-esteem. It makes a world of difference, & your eyes are completely opened when you have it. Good Luck. Remember, we are all beautiful in our own way, & if you think your beautiful, so will a good man.

[sillydimples94]

ik where your getting at...im 5''6 athletic medium body...size 9 I'm (36B) rather flat butt which I hate myself. I play soccer. But I used to hate my body. Though a lot of guys have told me they love how I look...''perfect''. I've learned to love myself and love my least fvorite part of my body. Its jus your self-esteem. Best way you can do that is jus learn how to flaunt what you dislike about yourself. most girls would kill to hav your body. to fit into the clothes you fit into. Don't see it as a punishment. Work out but only because you want to not because of what others think. The best you can do is tone your body take care of it. As long as you love your body and your own person then there's no reason y other people won't love u. Its how you carry yourself in front of the world that attracts people most. I've learned to make myself a better version...love my body make it the way I think suits who I am. and people are attracted to that confidence. If you put yourself down then people will do the same. Remember: Its how You carry URSELF.

[TweetiByrd]

You describe yourself as absolutely perfect to me.

Sounds to me like you need to work on your self esteem and NOT what other people think. Do you really think all men want a "Barbie" as a girlfriend or wife? Contrary to what a lot of women/girls think, we don't want Barbie, we want a real woman. Don't get me wrong, she'd be great to sleep with and go out with once or twice but in the long run she's too much maintenance for little return. Now with a real woman such as yourself, I don't see a lot of bs maintenance and drama nobody needs in their life. I've dated models and dancers, both exotic and professional, and company presidents and waitresses, some with big boobs, some with small, some with big butts, some with none, some tall , some short, and the best that ever had me was a lil' 4 foot nothin' chick with no titz and a killer azz. She just had this way about her that got me hard and weak in the knees every time we were close to another. So it really doesn't matter about looks in the long run, looks fade over time but, true inner beauty will last forever.

[dalila]

True inner beauty is not a killer ass?

[Mesonfielde]

Nope! Some people like me don't really care about the ass in the first place~

[JasmineMarie-]

Every girl has something they don't like about themselves. When I was seventeen I had the same problem. I was skinny and embarassed to wear a bikini around anyone, and then the month before I turned 18 I went from an A to a B and it helped my confidence a lot. Now I'm in my twenties with D's and full hips I never dreamed I'd have! Maybe the same thing will happen for you. In the meantime, learn to find other things you like about yourself. Maybe if you're insecure about your body you really like your eyes or your hair. Focus on something positive. If you're still serious about gaining the weight, complex carbs are the way to go! Whole-grain pasta all the way girl! And believe me, even if you don't end up getting the body you've always dreamed of it isn't the end of the world. There's a guy out there who will love you just the way you are, flaws and all. And remember, you're your own worst critic! I'm sure when other people look at you they don't see you in the same light as you see yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself, beauty is internal :) Love yourself!

[wondermist]

Not all of us are blessed with a magical body like yours, haha.

[Flexy]

Wait, many men love smaller breasts, it's just that most won't go raving about it, since it is more of a 'specialist' type of thing not a 'generalist' - do you get what I mean?

What is probably lacking is the sense to enhance your body with the right tools, clothes and just an overall attitude go a long way. Lots of celebrities are flat, but they'll make you feel insecure because of their padded bras etc.

You can A) learn to love yourself B) accept that this is what God gave you and we're not all made the same, and you may well have a figure that some bigger woman would DIE for C) learn to love yourself lol!

These are my options, I think you should be happy, if you check youtube many women want to be that size, they would sacrifice the back ache caused by their big boobs for this.

I'm not going to lie, I also wish I had bigger breasts, but this is because I have been influenced by the media, because I honestly dislike the size of my medium sized ones now, and practicality makes me want them smaller, I look at women with larger breasts and I'm envious, but in reality I can't even deal with my C/D breasts, I love to sleep on my tummy and I force this, though they obviously go under pressure, also larger boobs aren't as perky - and the majority of my busty friends sag without a push up padded bra (lol they have to wear padded even though they've got big boobs - so we're all in the same boat). Lastly, sports always needs a good sports bra, and you feel sometimes you're wiggling - if you know what I mean. Also I just hate bras, I try not to wear them all the time, I hate the feeling on being strapped into them, but without them, my boobs are annoying.

Urgh! Boobs, I think that was slightly TMI but you get what I mean.

[Mynecessarythoughts]

I know it's cliche, but it's so true...confidence is sexy. And when you're confident, guys don't notice things like a bit of cellulite or thick thighs. As far as your body's physical condition goes...start working out. Lunges and squats do miracles for your butt, just get some 10 or 15 pound dumbbells and start lunging across your house every other day or a couple of times a week (it may take awhile to notice results, but if you stick with it, you will.) You can join a gym, buy workout videos, take up walking or running...whatever is fun for you. Working out doesn't have to be a chore. And when your body feels strong, you automatically feel better about it..you feel more healthy and appreciative of all the things your body can do. Also, buying clothes that fit well and flatter your body will boost your self esteem. Try blouses with details, like ruffles, to conceal a small chest and dresses that are fitted at the top with a fuller skirt with a great pair of heels (dresses are a great way to de-emphasize your butt and thighs as well as tunics with skinny jeans or leggings). Again, it really all comes down to confidence...when you learn to love your body, other people will too. Best of luck to you!

[Anonymous]

Haha, I'm a guy and I love my body but sometimes I can't stand my face.

You're 17 so you may still grow out of it but the reality is people always have some thing or things they don't like about themselves.

Just remind yourself that worst comes to worst that there ARE options if you really want to change your image, but also bear in mind you are still young and you can grow into yourself still.

You cannot base your self image on one guys commitment phobia. Allot of guys these days are useless when it comes to relationships and have the emotional and social maturity of a melon (allot of girls to but hey that's modern society) but when you do meet a good guy who likes you, he won't mind what you perceive as flaws, because relationships and dare I say lvoe are about the whole, not small ultimate non-issues of image.

The one girl I can safely say I loved with all my heart didn't have a huge blond bimbo chest either but I didn't care, when we made love I looked at her, not her chest lol.

Hope you feel better about yourself, wish I had some magic answer to re-enforce your confidence but that's something you gotta find yourself. :)

[Anonymous]

Oh my. I can feel your pain. I'm 17 years old also, about 5"3 and totally flat. No boobs or hips.

I'm so thin, especially my arms and it's so annoying. I really hate going out in public in only t-shirts because I'm afraid of showing them. :P

People usually think that I've got anorexia or eating disorders even if I have never had them. That is annoying, because that happens all the time.

But the thing is that I got really great legs, butt and stomache.

I often got teased by my friends because I had no boobs, but I just ignored them and they have stopped now.

Just trying to be comfortable with your body. You can't look perfect after all. Instead of looking for all your flaws, look for great things, like your butt! If your friends says it's great then it must be great! At least you have a butt, right? :)

And it's from person to person. Some prefer big girls and others prefer small.

It's all about the taste.

About gaining weight. I can eat as much as I want without gaining anything.

The thing is according to a trainer I had, is that it all depends on your skeleton.

You can try to lose or gain weight without seeing anything different. It's the skeleton that builds up your body.

[alessia93]

I am 5'1, have a flat stomach, am 32A, and have a big butt and big thighs and defined legs from running. I guess I'm similarly built to you. I like my body the way it is, and I think you should too.

[coolkid101]

no other guy will like your body unless you yourself like your body, who cares about it, only stucks up sluts worry about big boobs, and perverts. If you wanna find a nice guy just be yourself, dnt worry about your body. Hey, I hated my body too, I am like 6,2 and weigh like 135 pounds, I'm skinny as hell and I wore nothing but long sleeved shirt for my entire life until I realizzed what I was doing, and now I'm starting to like my body, I wear t shirts and love it, and for people who think I'm skinny, they can eff themselves. What I'm trying to say is your beutiful, don't let anybody make fun of your body

[Sakurabella]

Very well said:)

[superdudeman]

Heres the thing. let me tell you something. I'm super picky when it comes to the way a woman looks, I've been with models and a former playmate and a former penthouse pet.

And ill tell you this, I've always used to think I was a boob guy. I still think I'm a boob guy.

BUT

I have a list of who I think is the hottest women in the world. And at the top of that list there's women like chirstina aguilera (not anymore because she got ugly) -shes got small boobs.

Right now its shakria, debi nova, and natalie portman. All of which have pretty small boobs.

So from that list you would never know that I liked boobs.

But the deal is, that men look at a woman and judge her based on her overall attractiveness.

Which means you could be hot as hell in the rest of your body and not have any boobs at all and we will still think your hot.

Also, the most important thing on a woman as far as looks goes is the face.

[Positiveman]

To hate your body is to hate yourself. To hate yourself is to have very low and deleterious self-esteem. Low self-esteem leeds to lack of self-c0onfidence which is then effects your thought process, ability to think clearly, make wise decisions, approach things on the right way by presenting yourself with your true personality.

YOU NEED TO GET UP. PLease get up as you read this. Close your eyes for moment when you read this.

THat everyone is different this world. THere billions who don't have what you have so appreciate. That you can always improve your life making small but routine changes. You will feel better about yourself if you make some changes to you negative thoughts TO POSITIVE thoughts. It is called killing negative thoughts.

Go to this link and read these 25 steps of self-esteem actions to boost your confidence

link

[jhpua954]

I know a lot of well-meaning people here are tell you nice things to help improve your self-image. They shouldn't. I think your boyfriend dumped you because of your abysmally low self-esteem and not your physical body.

You need to face the fact that life is not fair and that not all women are physically beautiful. You might be unattractive physically no matter what you do. That's unlikely, but that might me the case.

In any case, you need to change what you can change about your body, accept what you cannot change, and get a life. Again, even if you had the body you wanted I still think you'd have a poor self-image. They are not tied together.

[DaveMicharl69]

You just described the figure of my ex girlfriend, & our breakup was over her emotional troubles, NOT her figure or appearance! I thought she was adorable, & that her figure was perfect for HER! It's true, though, that if you start liking yourself better, others will too. And as another said, there's padded & push-up bras & other things you can do & wear to accent what you have & show how cute you actually are, as well as weight gain smoothies & products (peanut butter for one, plus full of protien) to help you put the weight on in the right places.. I know you're hurting right now, but with the right cute, flattering clothes you can look like anything BUT a boy! Hope it gets better for you, cause I really feel for you & wish for things to work out right...

[ellesmira]

Giiirl, you need to stop picking yourself apart! I did that at that age too. When I was 17 (now 22) I was 6' and a size 10 and barely a B cup, super self conscience of my height and the way my clothes fit me, which was not very good at all, I felt like a poorly dressed giant that was always worried about 'sucking in' and making eyes with boys. That stage of life can be cruel but your body is no where near mature! I'm now 6' size 11 with almost D cups. It sounds silly but REALLY helps me when I make pro and con lists, try to make pros about your body, healthy hair, pretty eyes, nice skin, funny laugh, cute toes, straight teeth, whatever! I find that one thing men really like about women is confidence, because if you always look shifty and uncertain a man will read that in you and it will make him uncomfortable. Find your good assets and flaunt them!

p.s. google around on what type of clothes look best on your body, it makes such a difference! good luck!

[Koncieved]

You must weigh like 50 pounds, judging by your description. Size 0, no hips, 32A Cup. It can be changed though, some dedication to working out should do the trick. It won't be easy, but it can be done. Increase your calorie intake and work on your pectoral muscles, this should increase your cup size to at least a B cup. As for toning your butt into a nicely shaped beauty, you can try doing squats(Many reps), and maybe some dead lifting with light weight. This should tone your butt along with your thighs(Though I like thick thighs on a lady)

Also in your response, if you choose to do so, include your BMI (Body mass index) You can find a BMI calculator on google.

[MawyBee]

Bet it's not that bad.. You sound like you have a ballerinas body.. You should straighten up your posture, it will help with chest, bum and legs. Wear heels if you need height, and it also lengthens your legs. Not too high though, about an inch-2. Not many people don't have a flabby butt, and if your a size 0 I doubt your flabby, you sound scrawny no offence.. Ask your doctor.. he'll give you some weight gaining solution or some sort.. You could be lacking something or have worms if you can't gain weight..

[Memoryfalls]

Try to accept your body and feel happy, this works wonders. Also for your butt...I've noticed carrying around heavy bags for university or whatever really helps...that sounds silly, but it really worked for me (I don't know if I'm size 0, but I might be size 2 or 4 and as tall as you).

If it doesn't work, who cares, if you're size 0 you still can dress in a way that makes you look more curvy (flowy tops, layering etc), if that's it what you're opting for.

Just be happy and acknowledge yourself as a pretty girl.

[Felynn]

I think you can look really hot in a short classy dress and heels, which shows off your legs. Any girl who is a size zero has great legs. If they're short just add heals. Boat necks work great for flat chests.

Also don't worry, you're still young. I also looked like a straw at your age. And then I started to get more feminine. I'm still a skinny bitch, but a skinny bitch with killer legs lol.

Are you on birth control? Some pills give you bigger breasts and more curves. I speak from experience...

[mikenice8]

Everyone dislikes something about themselves, even the most beautiful girl ain't always happy. Your young and at some point you will grow in to your body more, look for the guy who values you more than your body anywas. Besides there are some guys who actually prefer tiny girls, rather than perfect 10 bodies. Seriously once you get to a certain age, looks devalue and personality increases. Nobody wants to get stuck with someone that they can't stand longterm, so be patient and enjoy your youth it goes by quick.