Ladies, in your opinion what is desperation or desperate behavior?

[Greyeyes]

Ladies, what would you define desperate behavior or desperation as? What are some examples of desperation or desperate behavior you have seen, experienced from a guy you were dating, flirting with, in a relationship with, and what was your reaction do that behavior? What examples of desperate behavior, or desperation have you observed, heard of, overheard, or otherwise noticed? What are some examples of this type of behavior from movies, or T.V. shows, or characters who display this type of behavior? How do you think you opinion is the same as, or different from the average women out there? Do your views about this type of behavior change with age, as the date, evening, or relationship progresses? What are your thoughts, feelings, or attitudes towards this type of behavior in others? How do you react when you encounter this behavior? How do your friends, sisters, relatives, ect. view this behavior, what is their reaction to it, and how do they handle it? Are flowers on the first date considered to be desperate? Gifts after just a few dates? At what point is it safe to do these things? What about calling/ texting the night you meet? The next day? How long should a guy wait before doing so? What about doing favors, I'm not talking about chivalry like opening the door for you, but major favors like lending you money, helping you move, or fixing you satellite dish for you ect.? How much time spent talking on the phone, calling, texting, e mailing, or time spent in person would be considered desperate? When does this change in the relationship? Do you use and abuse and/or take advantage of guys you consider to be desperate? How much time should a guy spend talking to you, spending with you, texting/emailing you under "normal" relationship/dating circumstances? Consider clinging or clingy behavior to the above questions. I am sure I already know many of the answers to these questions, I would just like to hear your opinions. Any input you can give would be appreciated!

[TrustBex]

Honestly it depends on how you interpret "desperation", as well as truly understand what the definition means.Most people have used "desperation" out of context.When someone advises i.e. "Don't call her, blah blah blah." with the punch line ".you look desperate".the message here is to mask your true feelings by play "cool" unaffected person.Desperation is the acknowledgment of "urgency" ; Shitty as it sometimes the motive behind the "urgency" becomes one track minded losing integrity, dignity, etc. in the choice using deceptive action, playing it out fully.i.e. A guy dating a girl knowing he is attracted to only guys. He only dates her for three reasons: fear of his true self, dissappointment in authority figures, and being alone. That is what I call desperation.If a guy calls/texts me it doesn't make him look like a sucker or loser it shows his interest, and clarity in feelings. No one likes to be used for self entertainment, and yes all girls are weary of being suckered by a manwhore or anyone in general.It's not the manwhore himself, it's the lying and deception that's wronged the other person.It's sick and twisted calculation to fully complete an act with little or no guilt.Dude, that's a whole other discussion and debate on its own.

Now, in terms of romance there is nothing wrong with it. This goes for girls as well. If you pull out flowers, intiate to go out, act on ideas to gain a connection with a person you really want to know then good for you-It all shows effort, and there is NO lame idea brought to the table. It's lame to act like you don't care.No one is judging you. If the girl on the end doesn't bite, oh well.or possibly she didn't bite because the messages sent were not right.For the girl that answered first regarding to feeling "special" needs to understand what you put out is what you receive.If I got shot down by a guy, in respect for myself and his choice I take it as is; There's no other choice but to move forward. It doesn't mean I'm not normal or vice versa.it just means were not a match, and I'm not into forcing matches.Cutting off people because they left you doesn't work that way.They left you, meaning they cut you off and it's obvious you didn't expect for them to hit pavement when YOU told them to.Man up and face the fact you f***ed up by giving out the wrong signals and maybe you'll realize to quit being a douche bag. Shooting a person down for ego does not work in your favor . Be an adult and learn how to communicate to get the right response . Real smart people "cut off" people with bad intentions that cause physical/emotional harm i.e. physically violent people, heroine/extreme drug addicts, pimps cause you want a real job and don't want to be pimped out anymore, etc.Then there's the distant cop-outs that "cut off" good people with good intentions cause they're afraid of falling in love and all the feelings that come with it, they end up usually being good friends.

[aly-marie]

When I think of someone as "desperate", to me it specifically means that they don't want me in particular, they just want SOMEONE. Anyone who will give them a chance.

I think it's unattractive because it doesn't make me feel like I'm anything special, because they would probably be with anyone who accepted. I try to cut ties with these people, I don't want to be with someone like that. It gives the impression that they don't have any respect for themselves.

I want someone who makes me feel special, like I'm the only one for them. Like if I turned them down, they wouldn't just turn around and go for the next person. They're confident in what they want. As long as I feel like they like me for ME (and I feel the same about them), then they can text/call/email me about as often as they like. :]

[Greyeyes]

Great answer! I agree 100% And you should distance yourself from those types. Sounds like you have great self-esteem.

[sweets4804]

WOW! Are you asking what traits are examples of desperation from a girl or a guy? Is the girl displaying desperate behavior or the guy displaying desperation behavior?

[Greyeyes]

The guy, and don't feel like you have to answer every single quiestion, I just threw a lot out there to give different angles to think of the concept from.

[Shlei3]

Seriously, don't ask so many questions. This is overkill! Didn't you just ask this question?

[Shlei3]

Ladies, what would you define desperate behavior or desperation as? : Kissing my ass and never saying no to me.

What are some examples of desperation or desperate behavior you have seen, experienced from a guy you were dating, flirting with, in a relationship with, and what was your reaction do that behavior? : Never saying no, constantly asking if I was ok, never having an opinion...I dumped him in the end.*********** Ok you are being way too analytical. Relationships are meant to be fun

[Greyeyes]

No I diden't just ask this quiestion. Relationships are ment to be fun huh? It's that additude that concerns me, while your having your "fun" I may be wasting my time because that's all it is to you "fun". And when your done with me or whatever poor sucker you can go have "fun" with him too. I think relationships are ment to be fufilling and a general asset to ones life rather than "fun" "Fun" makes me think of games. You dumped him in the end, maybe cause he diden't ask these quiestions.

[Shlei3]

Oh my goodness. Fun as in being too serious is not good! You sir are too analytical and I imagine being in a relationship with you would be like having a job. Do you understand what I'm saying? Relationships are meant to be enjoyed, having fun, not this huge process of overanalyzation and meticulous nitpicking.

[Greyeyes]

I understand you, but do you understand me? Was it fun for the guy when he was dumped? I bet that was fun! I bet it was fun for him when he was wondering why he got dumped too! But hey, what concern is that to you, you were having fun all along right? Knowldage is power. Asking critical quiestions is important. Your right, being in a relationship with me is a job, the job is to be honest, faithful, trustworthy, and respectul or your fired. Relationships take work, and aren't allways fun.

[Shlei3]

Obviously you aren't understanding me. You sir, are too meticulous. Relationships are a get to...do you understand that I'm not saying it's a light-hearted mater? Do you understand that relationships are not a game to me? I meant that relationships are to be enjoyed. I am sorry you are too daft to understand that concept. That would explain why you are single. Relationships are a job? Seriously? You are an overanalytical guy. I don't get into relationships unless I have true feelings.

[Shlei3]

When I say "fun" I meant you need to be able to sit back and enjoy one another's company. Are you so hard headed that you can't grasp that? I smell desperation on you with all your questions and lack of being able to understand the meaning of having fun. I didn't say that relationships are a joke and you should use the other person. No! that is not what I was saying. I was saying if you overanalyze too much and don't enjoy the other person because you're too busy analyzing than you can kill it.

[Greyeyes]

I'm so desperate I agree with everything you say! Yep that's me. What ever! Yep I'm too meticulous and anaylitical, because women ALLWAYS say what they mean and mean what they say, ALLWAYS. They never speak womaneyse. They never ask loaded quiestions or test the men their seeing to see if they are push-overs or not. Are you so hardheaded you can't understand that? Nearly all women say they want a sweet, careing, funny and confident guy. Then all men should be dating supermodels shouldentthey

[Shlei3]

And that's exactly why you are probably single. You view women as scheming, testing, and complex. The thing is, there are women like that but there are also men like that too. It's all a matter of knowing what you want, realizing when you have it and working at it (but not too hard you robotic analytical computer of a guy).