Why do girls blow off good guys?

it seems like girls always just wanna be friends with the good guys, but anything more and they'd rather die than go on a date with them :(

then they go for the bad boy that barely pays a lick of attention to them accept for when he can get a little bit of action. why are girls like this? and its like half the time the guy drinks a lot or smokes or does drugs and I just wonder how in the world that is attractive?! :/ I would never go for a girl that did that, I want a put-together girl that is really pretty and nice, so what's wrong with a good looking guy that is put-together and nice and actually has some class and is willing to let his guard down all on his own for the girl he really wants to be with? I don't care if it makes me look weak or desperate, its what having feelings for someone is all about. so why are good guys never appreciated if its what a girl says she wants?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I understand where you are coming from. Why girls are attracted to bad boys? If you are referring to the 18 to 24 age group in general, mostly because girls find them exciting and wanted to give them a go, but more often eventually realizes that if the boys continue being bad, it's just not gonna do them any good when they come to a point of wanting to get into a serious relationship and perhaps eventually leave them.

    It's absolutely not weak of you to think or to feel the way you've written down your thoughts and feelings here with regards to this matter. In fact, I respect you for setting appropriate bars and standards for yourself in terms of pursuing a relationship with a girl. Sometimes the situation that you've described can turn out to be a good thing after all because this self-filters the girls who are probably not worthy of a good and nice guy like you! And sometimes it may seem like forever to get someone to be attracted to you, but rest assure if you are the good bloke as you've described, eventually one day you'll meet a nice, matured, great girl and have a steady and serious relationship with her. It takes patience but it's worth the wait. Meanwhile, channel your focus, time, energy and effort into good and healthy stuff/activities whilst being single. Remember, no matter how good a girl is, everyone has their flaws :)


What Girls Said 12

  • Personally, I know someone whose considered a "bad boy" and he is only this because he is slobbish and has little concern for others, he smokes, drinks, dips, etc. and doesn't see anything wrong with it. It's actually pretty disgusting, and to think that he expects a girl to want him? In his mind, a girl has to accept all of the nasty things he does for her to be with him. Fine by me; I just turn the other cheek. Also, this guy is physically strong and attractive, he has a fun, decisive, and tough-guy attitude, but he doesn't pay much attention to me when we hangout. It's really annoying. How conceited can you get? Especially when there's nothing to be proud of yourself for... Ugh, just thinking about it gets on my nerves. But anyway, I think "good" guys tend to come off as desperate or too nice, and we're unsure how to react to someone expressing true concern for our feelings -- it makes us suspicious.

    We've been programmed to expect to be used by a guy, so we never know when they're being honest or just playing with us. I also know a very good guy, but he has really bad self-esteem issues and has never had a girlfriend, but despite all of his good attributes, women turn him down all of the time and won't even give him the time of day. He's very intelligent, funny, loving, sweet, and friendly toward them, but any moderately decent women he comes across won't even look in his direction. It's really sad because he think he'll be forever alone (all he wants is to find his soul mate and raise a family) while the douched guys get all of the girls they want. Now, there's something extremely wrong with that picture. Agree?

    • yep... totally. and that's why I asked this question for those reasons you described right there. the question is, what is the ultimate solution?

    • Well, for starters, girls need to set their priorities straight and stop catering to these a**holes. And the same goes for men catering to high maintenance, shallow women instead of investing their time in someone worthwhile. Really, the subject of relationships just leaves me frustrated, angry, and saddened to a degree, because it can be so hard to find someone to love you for you. People are constantly looking for improvement, and a lot of people just want to be loved who they are.

    • a lot of times, "going for someone worthwhile" means going after someone that you're not as attracted to it feels like. obviously I want to be attracted to the woman I'm with. so it seems to be, either hope for attractive women to "get their priorities straight" or (settle) for someone "more worthwhile" (aka not as attractive) because they can appreciate you more... but then you can't appreciate them as much, so it's an awful cycle that seems to have no solution! ya know?

  • That's not necessarily true, my friend. I always go for the honest, good-natured guys. I can't stand bad boys because with bad boys comes a bucketload of drama. Unattractive! I LOVE my cute, adorable, good-natured boyfriend (he's very sexy to me too), so all of what you say about bad boys is SUCH a turn-off. No, there is nothing wrong with you and there are definitely girls out there who want the good guy who will stand by them till the end. Since you're sincere in nature, you'll find a sincere girl and trust me she'll have a lot less drama than the girls who go after bad boys. They're just looking for drama in their lives that the bad boys will gladly give. Don't give up!

  • It's natural for a girl to want the guy that every guy wants to be, and every girl wants to be with. The badboy, the sexy I want to show to my friends guy. But eventually, she'll realize that he will use and abuse her, probably as much as his last girl. So eventually, she'll be broken and a nice genuine guy who has nothing but respect and love will sweep her off her feet.

    But I do agree with you, and unfortunately, it takes girls a long time to realize this. But girls who are worthy of your love and respect will recognize this. Continue being a good guy and save us girls the trouble of having to run into another douche :]

  • I would never blow off a good guy. With bad past experiences I'm glad I have finally found an actual good guy.

  • Bad guys have more self-confidence, and that gives us confidence in them. We don't like weak wishy-washy guys. We want strong , decisive guys who can tell us when we're being foolish. Men who know they're attractive. "Nice" guys are weak and you don't know who they are because they change depending on who they're talking to.

    • i wouldn't say that's true, if a nice guy likes a girl he gets a bit scared, but usually he will only want to love the girl the right way, and not try to mess things up, but because he cares so much, that's usually what creeps out the girl :/

      ...but there's no reason for her to be creeped out, he just wants to be with her for real. most nice guys are generally very confident and everything around anyone other than attractive girls, he just cares how he comes across to them is all.

  • We all want what we can't have.

  • Drinking, smoking and doing drugs isn't attractive, but you can do those things without ruining your character. Is that really your definition of "bad," or is there more to it than that?

    • well, let me ask you this. is it good? I think its a lot of what makes someone a bad boy or girl. but not everything.

    • No, but doing that doesn't make you a bad person. I've known a lot of people who do all of that in college while still being selfless, awesome people. As long as they're doing other things, too, anyway.

    • ohh I agree, but that's just not for me. I want the best, and I mean, I guess I don't see why girls don't think the same way, because they honestly don't seem to care if a guy smokes or not for example. I think its a disgusting habit and dealbreaker.

  • Cause attractive girls don't like weak guys who shower them with attention. Sometimes a girl won't go for a weak guy because she's strong herself.

    • who says the guy is weak for actually finding someone he cares about? what if he feels that you are the right girl? what if he's scared but still has the courage to pursue you, how about seeing it from that perspective?

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    • because girls can get that supposingly special feeling from a lot of guys who are just like you. What's so special about that? Nothing.

    • lol what are you talking about?

  • because girls want to be with the big bad guy because it makes them feel protected, physically and socially. if not that they want to tame the biggest baddest dog in the litter because it makes them feel good and socially powerfull

  • bad boys are sexy xD

    i have a big crush on bad boys xD

  • Why do guys blow off good girls, oh yeah, because men only want women who are attractive. Forbid a man go for a woman who is average & doesn't meet his insane standards.


What Guys Said 3

  • If a certain girl is blowing you off, then forget about her and move on to the next one. Simple. If she's not interested, why bother?

  • Why? Because they're immature and stupid. Next question.

  • These are not quality woman! Run the other way!