Girlfriend cheated on me, now I'm the one that has to change?

bmxerwill
Hi I didn't know what to do I'm 27 yo. I'm a nice guy, I don't cheat, I'm generally happy person, she is 21 yo - 10 month relationship

4 weeks ago she said she had to start writing her dissertation (final year uni)which was hard enough so I gave her a bit of space so she could crack on with it. I texted her everyday, and went round to see her (don't live together) for the odd hour, to give her a hug and cheer her up.

2 weeks ago I texted her and didn't get a reply.. again texted her no reply , called her ... nothing, started to get worried. couldn't get in contact with her, went round to see her she looked depressed and none communicative . she said she had lots of work and kicked me out ... next few days nothing no replies ...

1 week ago I called her up and said we need to talk. I picked her up and drove back to mine where after making her dinner she said we need to break up. Now because I am in love I new ... no sorry but no I'm not letting her go. I guessed there was something else wrong .

i said what is it ?she said "what a mess I've made" ... she told me the week before she had gone out and slept with a complete stranger from a nightclub as she missed the romance. Whilst lightly drunk. her first cheat ever!

Now I did something not a lot of people would have done. I said " I love you we can work through this" I'm upset , sad, betrayed, hurt, heart broken but I can see we could mend her mistake in the future. She said if we were going to stay together that "i needed to change" She said she needed 3 or 4 days to sort " her self" out. and told me "not to tell anyone" because she was ashamed. 3 days later I new she would be feeling bad so after zero sleep I went to wait rose and bought her flowers and crumpits and pineapple juice for breakfast in bed ... to cheer her up as this was all her faves... I was just going to give it to her give her a hug and then come back as I new she was feeling crap. Turned up and spoke to her house mate (the only person who realized what was going on and told her to tell me. she is a girl I get on with) She thought it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for someone knowing that I was the one that had been cheated on. I had missed my girlfriend by 20 min (uni). I texted her "in town" very angry text back, "why are you here"!

i needed someone to talk to but I kept my word. I cried every day for 5 days in a state of constant heart broken depression. lost a stone in weight from not eating I had 6 hours sleep in 5 days. not once did I get a text message, or a reply to mine.

turned up today to make up,With a bladder infection after saying "he" used a condom. she said Your not the only one that wants me right now on a walk and you have to change if we stay together. If I didn't she would "stray" whilst enjoying a pub lunch I payed for.

shes treating me like I'm the one who cheated. finally told my best mate and girlfriend. they said dump her. mum angry at her. Don't no what to do. :'( in love and trapped
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extra info. I was going to try for the royal marines as I have always wanted to do it ...but forced and in love to stay with her and get a normal job which scares me. atm in a trainee plasterer but with very little/no work. Can I trust her ?
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also she sed "he" had a proper job. I've never been cheated on. Even now the last person she slept with was "him", that makes me want to cry and it scares me to think she might have lied about using a condom. how else would she have a bladder infection?
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+1 y
The more answers I get the better
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+1 y
anyone else?
Girlfriend cheated on me, now I'm the one that has to change?
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