Why am I always so scared to meet guys?
guys to talk to sometimes..but wen they want to hang out and get to know each other more I get so scared and I don't want to even talk to them anymore and I'm not sure why. I want to meet a nice guy but I'm so scared that I'm going to do something wrong.. and I'm that type of girl if I do and he points it out I just don't wanna talk to guys for a while
can someone please help me out here
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
OMG girls like you drive a guy up the wall! I'm dealing with one like you right now... It's very trying, to say the least... Things look good, you feel a connection, and BAM she avoids you and you're left wondering WTF just happened.
A good guy will not lose interest in you if you do something wrong. And he certainly won't point it out. He's not thinking "she likes me, but she's bad at flirting", he's trying to figure out if you like him in the first place. At most he'll simply be confused as to whether or not you're interested.
Even if you're scared, try to spend time with him. The kind of guy who will take the time to get to know you and break your shyness is also the type to get his feelings hurt if you avoid and reject him. Believe me on that one... :(
You've got to learn to control your "fight or flight" reflex. Running away is definitely easier, and I know - I used to be really shy too. But running away is NEVER better. But trust me, when a guy's asking to get to know you, he's outside of HIS comfort zone too, however good he may be at hiding it.
Also, you gotta learn to laugh at yourself. If you DO say or do something stupid, you need to laugh it off. Sulking because you made a fool of yourself will only make things worse, but if you laugh he won't think anything of it.
What Guys Said 2
> I want to meet a nice guy
Good start. Guys want to meet you as well.
Here's another thing you have in common with them off the starting line: They know as little about you as a person, as you do about any one of them. Before they get to know you by spending time with you, asking questions and seeing and sensing what you enjoy, they won't know what the "right thing" is for you in many circumstances either.
It is fun taking small steps, and finding out about each other (and can be very funny after the event looking back together on things you tried with best intentions, that didn't work out).
I suggest starting off with someone with a similar level of experience of relationships (ie don't hit on someone you know to have had many more relationships than you).
>when they want to hang out and get to know each other more I get so scared and I don't want to even talk to them anymore
The key is to keep the steps and the risks small and controlled until your confidence builds, you have good reason to think he is really OK. When you start to know a guy and trust him, tell him more and do more with him.
> I'm so scared that I'm going to do something wrong
So's he if he hasn't had dozens of partners before you. Give each other a break. If he doesn't always get everything right for you and with you, tell him calmly without making a federal production or making him feel a total a$$. With a bit of give and take you can have fun teaching each other a lot.
> I'm that type of girl if I do and he points it out I just don't wanna talk to guys for a while
Because of embarassment or because you can't tollerate getting feedback you've done something wrong from anyone?
If it is the former, don't fret about it - you won't just luck into getting it all right first time. Great advice from KennyK about learning to laugh at yourself.
If it is the second, that's something you need to work on for all your relationships, not just ones with guys, but work, and life in general as well.
What Girls Said 3
Sometimes the prospect of meeting a guy can make a girl feel like they are setting themselves up for failure. The possibility that by meeting this guy you are putting yourself out there for a man to hurt you. That or you are intimidated by the possibility that you make a complete fool of yourself in front of a guy.
Well, I've got news for you: if a guy is interested enough to want to hang out with you one-on-one, then he likes you enough to not want to hurt you. Also, he probably likes you for who you are so you can be yourself and not feel like an absolute freak!
If you get the jitters when a guy asks you to hang, just think of it as hanging out with one of your closest friends and just be yourself. There is no pressure, even if it does turn into a date. Main point is: be yourself and have a great time!