Why don't girls look at me or approach me if I'm extremely good-looking?

This is just ridiculous, what does a guy have to do in order to get noticed by girls?


What's Your Opinion?


Most Helpful Opinion

  • Again, what one girl may find attractive, another girl won't. I'm currently crushing BIG TIME on this guy who isn't even attractive, but he has a thing. You know the thing right ? I'm sure everyone does. It's this attraction you cannot explain, that doesn't have one specific reason such as "he has a nice laugh" or "he has an ass that makes me want to dry hump".

    Basically, instead of looking for a specific answer from us girls, the only think you can do is -yes you've guessed correctly- BE YOURSELF.

    No girl would go for you if you aren't being yourself. Even if you lack confidence (which is a thing that you either have or you don't, frankly), some girl would find that ADORABLE while another girl couldn't be more turned off by it, and needs a man to take over.

    However, the title of your question kind of hints that you may be a little more arrogant than you should. Too much of a good thing can be bad, and in this case we're talking about confidence. So try to tone it down a little bit. I understand your frustration, but good things are worth waiting for.

What Girls Said 48

  • Confidence is even more important than looks believe it or not.

  • They most likely do notice you, but because you're "extremely good-looking" they may be scared to approach you in fear of getting hurt of rejected.

  • maybe your confidence is intimidating. Not all pretty girls know they are.

  • Good looking men need to approach good looking women, Good looking women need to approach good looking men.

    ...Why? because no one will approach them

    ...Why? because their good looking.

  • u sound pretty full of your self that's generally not a quality I'm looking for. also since you asked this anonymously so we have no way of telling if your actually good looking it could all be in your head.

    • So he is full of himself because he knows he is good looking? He is asking a question and because of the type of question being asked people need to know if he is good looking or not.

      Saying that he is full of himself is something a person who lacks confidence would say especially because he is just asking a question.

  • i, for one, would be incredibly intimidated. but hey, everybody's different. I'd be fearful of quick rejection, ya know?

  • babe, if your really that good looking, id be sh*tting myself about going up to you, I mean, eventually id pluck up the courage after doing some investigating to make sure your ACTUALLY single, cos I'm not the type to leave everything up to the guy, what if he's shy, sigh, some girls just don't think. if you went to my school and are as good looking as you say (my minds having a field trip) I would have asked you YONKS AGO. just ask her, most are embarassed. :)

  • sometimes you have to have a good personality as well to pass the test I guess.

  • if u're that good looking girls must notice you idiot, why don't you man up and go talk to them anyway ?

  • Make the first move; really attractive people can be intimidating because people question whether or not they're in your league. And I'm positive you get many looks if your as attractive as you say; but women aren't obvious like men are. We tend to do a series of quick glances as opposed to one long take it all in look.

    Beautiful women compete everyday with thousands of other beautiful women; when a guy approaches the girl, it sends the message " Out of all these gorgeous women here, I think your the most attractive." Once she's confident in knowing that you picked her, she'll open up to you.

    It takes more than just being cute on a guy's part to really nab a girls attention. Ask any girl (with a boyfriend,) what attracted them before they were together. Most women will say " I thought he was really cute, AND he was really sweet, liked to read, tutored some kids, etc..." Girls don't just look and decide, we check out everything a guy does when given the chance. It takes one lame move like getting sloppy drunk or saying/doing something rude, falling below any standard the girl may have, to get you crossed off her list. '

  • We don't want to come across as desperate or anything and a lot believe the guy should make the first move.

  • dont want to be rejected.

  • Cos they are too scared of being rejected? Or cos you're so good looking you probably have plenty of girls swooning over you and she/other girls feels they cannot compete. So many reasons to this question! Why not try approaching the girl? Or join some hobby club where you can meet someone who will get to know you and appreciate you for who you are and not just for your looks...i.e. that you do have substance and not just a pretty face.

  • Ok I could understand if you were a girl and were askin this question. But you're a guy. Girls expect YOU to approach THEM. That's just the way it is

  • Haha, well if you're as good looking as that, then it might be exactly what's going against you! I'm intimidated by really good looking guys and think they'd never be interested in me, may even sn***** if they see me looking interested - so I steer clear. I bet I'm not alone in that... praps see what you can do to look more approachable, look happy and smile a lot and perhaps approach a girl yourself, we don't all do the running contrary to what the feminists would have you believe!

    • Nope, it's s.n.igger - it's a valid word in the UK meaning to laugh at someone in a condescending way. I wasn't trying to type snicker.

    • because it is spelled snicker, you spelled the and word with an s in front of it

    • Dear God, why am I not allowed to use the word s.n.igger!?

  • Cuz you don't approach them...they're either intimiated, but honestly I think most girls don't really approach guys, they just approach us.

  • Man up and talk to the girl. She could be intimidated but before you go up to her make sure she is giving you signals that she is interested

  • that attitude, no offense but some girls don't like guys who think they deserve every female to worship the ground he walks on. maybe you are having a bad day and they don't react positively to your sad face or frown?

  • You know, is it that you want a specific girl to notice you or general looks?! Because these two "looks" for a guy are very different. If you intend to get attention from a specific girl you need to be you, the general look if you want the mass of girls to eye you, you need to have a clean, polished, good mannered, a little cocky, nice hair, and nice clothing-look. The mass will se your exterior, and the "first impression". And the one specific will see both, your outer and inner qualities. Hope I helped you a little.

  • if you are good looking then it can be extremely intimadating.i would never approach an attractive guy.i figure he's either taken or out of my league

  • Oh but are you extremely good looking or really really ridiculously good looking? Maybe that's the crux of the problem ...

  • most likely think you are a jerk that is full of himself. sorry for sounding like a jerk

  • well there are several reasons why this could be possible. firstly as a girl myself I think it goes against nature for a girl to ask a guy out. look at nature for example. who woos who? it is the male who woos the female. in the bird kingdom it is the male who puffs out his feathers and shows the female what a man he is. and before you say that humans are not animals, we are according to science. secondly, because you say you're good-looking and presumably you are, girls might find this intimidating and might think you as a 'player' so instead they might refrain from approaching you. I think you should pluck up the courage and instead of waiting around go and get socializing with a female. not only will she admire you for coming up to her but who knows you might actually make a friend:-) good luck dude

  • Well Do you smile, Do you laugh at things, shower?

    Basically Find a girl you like, walk up to her and start talking to her, look at what she is wearing, does she like to read ( Books?) pet lover? is she a runner? and just work on talking to random girls anywhere, even in the store, Hold open doors for them, be a gentleman.

    Looks are not anything to most girls, they want to see there is more there then a pretty face. or a good body, I'd rather have a okay looking guy who has an amazing mind, then a great looking guy who is an Ass.

    Check out how you treat people, and how you come off to people. examine your self basically

  • Well..then why guys don't approach me and I'm extremely good looking?!?

    Yeah...it goes both ways buddy...

    • Hahaha

      Well...same to you buddy.

      --no, really, we think you're stuck up too.

      /I can only speak for myself, but I'm not stuck up at all! I always smile and I'm friendly. But when I'm alone (example: waiting for the bus) I seem a little distracted or perhaps a bit sad...which may seem to some people as unapproachable or stuck up I guess.../

      Don't really know.

      But yes, we think that about really good looking guys as well.

      So you've answered your own question. :P

    • Hot girls are just downright scary, and they look mean and stuck up...

  • you need to open your mouth and say hi

  • I just don't think girls should approach men^_^ I'm also too shy and quite traditional in my ways of thinking. I also don't look at good-looking guys

  • Maybe they've done it before and received a cold response. Or they haven't but don't want to risk that. Or they are truly not interested because they equate extremely good looking guys with possibly being a player or being cocky or other similar unattractive qualities.

  • Most girls would not approach a good looking guy because she doesn't want to get rejected and feel embarrassed. The girl is waiting for you to approach her ;)

  • you need to be able to spot which ones have been glancing at you and then go get them yourself.

    they are looking at you, you're just being to thick to notice. Women glace as oppose to the staring men do. it takes some work to "catch" them.

  • I'd be too scared because you're so hot.

    • he said he's extremely good-looking, I was going off the question

    • how do you know he's hot?

  • if you are as good looking as you say, then a lot of girls may be scared to approach you. they may think your are already taken or won't be interested in someone who isn't as equally good looking. that's how I am towards extremely good looking guys anyway. lol you just have to be the one to make the first move. hope I helped.

  • i have the same problem, and what I've learned is the more good looking you are, the more intimidating you can be, people think you are taken or just not interested because you're so good looking,

    the solution: be the one to approach. show that you're harmless and friendly and not as scary as you appear because of the advantage of good looks.

    im a really shy quiet girl but people tell me I'm very pretty, so I have to step up my game in appoaching guys myself

    • I find that scared girls don't get approached themselves because guys maybe thinking they be offended easy. then,whatever you said you feel like a jerk if you used a pick up line on a over sensitive female while a average girl would just laugh at it.

    • Yep. I assume any beautiful woman is taken.

    • It was good advice, I don't know who voted you down.

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  • girls can get intimidated. happens to me all the time...

  • well, if you're not THAT good looking but you think you are, that's stupid. if you're really that good looking then you should have enough confidence to walk up to a girl. most think that the super hot guys are always taken, gay, or just players. which is why they don't bother. they probably do look, but they don't let you see that they do.

    • im just saying that if you think you're good looking, why not try to talk to a girl instead of waiting for one to come to you? if you're that good looking very rarely would anyone try to make a move on you, it has to do with intimidation and things like that. if you walk up to them it shows their not just someone bothering you and you are actually interested in them one way or another.

    • that not true good look don't mean confidence because even then you may have a flow

  • Try to be nice? Make the firs move yourself?

    I see a lot of hot guys wherever I go, but I don't approach them, that's your job most of the times, unless I already know that he is interested, but is shy...

  • some girls just don't approach guys. not saying they don't think your not hot just not their personality. just approach them

  • lol you describe yourself as "extremely good looking" <<< that's being cocky and a lot of girls hate cokcy guys... I don't might cocky, I actually enjoy cokcy guys but some just hate it. approach the girls and compliment them. smiling always is the key

    • Stud muffin did you ask this question?

    • being cocky is keeps guys from getting pick on sometimes

  • extremely good looking = arrogant or taken. or both.

    you have to talk to girls and show them that there's a person under there.

  • Extremely good looking men normally have extremely good looking girlfriends or sometimes they turn out to be somewhat shallow that's why or you could be intimidating to others.

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What Guys Said 18

  • beleive it or not, while you may be beauitful, you are not going to be every girl's type. girls have types, some like your look and some don't even if you are beauitful. girls are pickier than guys when it comes to looks. just the natural way it is.

  • Too shy.

  • Coz if a girl does it, it seems as if she is a sexual predator. AKA "slag" (what b.s. I know.)


    See why men usually do it?

    -If you are good looking...why aren't you doing it? Probably same reasons as to why they aren't as well.

  • That's your job man. And mines too.

  • That's your job man.

  • It could be one of three things- 1 - you are not as good looking as you think-2- you may be too concieted to be approachable-3-you could be lolololol so good looking that women are flabergasted by your tremendous physique and lovely bone structure. :)

  • They would approach a good looking guy. So if you're not getting approached, the simple fact is that you're just not that good looking. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

    • Well, I get approached by hot girls so the facts would seem to indicate otherwise. Sorry bud!

    • I guarantee I'm way hotter than 99.9% of guys meaning you are probably ugly as **** in comparison to me.

  • Confidence is sexy...Girls are attracted to that...Be confident, be bold...But don't be rude or cocky...That's turn-off. Good luck dude.

  • Because I am too busy snatching them up.

    While you sit there on the sidelines waiting for one to come to you :)

  • Post a pic, dude for help.

  • Because they're too busy looking at me ;)

  • Just been good lookign doesn't get you anywhere seriously, girls WANT you to appraoch them. Most of the time they will be checking you out and wishing that you would appraoch them

    • Exactly no lass is ever going to go upto a lad who might reject her shed rather look and wish he'd move his ass and notice her

  • lol I know your pain

  • If you're extremely good looking as you state, why aren't YOU approaching women?

    Let me put it to you this way - the girls are most likely checking you out when you're present. They already find you attractive. But they're too worried or shy to even say something to you. Girls don't like being rejected - it can send them into an emotionally frenzy state and make them feel bad for the rest of the day, or possibly week or month.

    You see an attractive girl you want - go get her. And be NICE about it. Being a cocky jerk will make you look immature, stupid, and childish. Be a man and make the move - it's been this way since mankind evolved.

    Otherwise, if you want girls to approach you, then just sit back and be lazy. You'll lose interest and reject them fast, despite the girls' valiant, confident effort to get to know you more.

  • Simply put, lots of people look good (in shape, confident) including me BUT its the attitude that matters most.. If you're good looking and know it, that's great for your confidence but if your looking at girls while EXPECTING them to be looking at you already, that's what's gonna keep you from getting anywhere.

  • fix your insecurity, because you clearly are if your asking advice from here

    its not about looks,

    just seem interesting to them, be confident, not cocky ... there is a huge difference

    be a gentlemen

    and don't seem desperate, make them come to you,

  • Um, man up and approach a girl yourself? What self entitlement you have over your looks, something you have little control over. Pride yourself in something you accomplish or do, not what was given to you.

    • probably the best answer here .. I like that "pride yourself in something you accomplish, not what is given to you".

  • lol All I know is that if your good looking then you should be going at the girls without any problem.