Why don't girls look at me or approach me if I'm extremely good-looking?

This is just ridiculous, what does a guy have to do in order to get noticed by girls?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Again, what one girl may find attractive, another girl won't. I'm currently crushing BIG TIME on this guy who isn't even attractive, but he has a thing. You know the thing right ? I'm sure everyone does. It's this attraction you cannot explain, that doesn't have one specific reason such as "he has a nice laugh" or "he has an ass that makes me want to dry hump".

    Basically, instead of looking for a specific answer from us girls, the only think you can do is -yes you've guessed correctly- BE YOURSELF.

    No girl would go for you if you aren't being yourself. Even if you lack confidence (which is a thing that you either have or you don't, frankly), some girl would find that ADORABLE while another girl couldn't be more turned off by it, and needs a man to take over.

    However, the title of your question kind of hints that you may be a little more arrogant than you should. Too much of a good thing can be bad, and in this case we're talking about confidence. So try to tone it down a little bit. I understand your frustration, but good things are worth waiting for.

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What Girls Said 48

  • You know, is it that you want a specific girl to notice you or general looks?! Because these two "looks" for a guy are very different. If you intend to get attention from a specific girl you need to be you, the general look if you want the mass of girls to eye you, you need to have a clean, polished, good mannered, a little cocky, nice hair, and nice clothing-look. The mass will se your exterior, and the "first impression". And the one specific will see both, your outer and inner qualities. Hope I helped you a little.

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  • i agree with all of the answers below me, however there is one that sums everything up for you. if your not getting approach and you feel you do attracted women, then make the first move and iniciate somthing. when you do this you give kind of an o.k for them, and you'll be satisfied in the end if you play your cards right that is. over time, women tend to catch on in a way, and eventually they will approach you. you can't come off to strong though, by this I mean try toning down the fect you know your hot, its a mega turn off, and girls immidiatly feel rejected by this. turns any attractive guy into the ugliest dweeb

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  • self-preservation. we don't want our poor little human eyes to be burnt to a crisp by the godly sexiness that is YOU, Anonymous.

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  • Admittedly I don't go for good looking guys, especially if they looked 'made up' (gelled hair, takes extra care of his appearance, etc.) Mainly cause I am not the type of girl who spends hours in front of the mirror and I am rarely attracted to guys who do.

    Also I am guilty of being one of those girls who immediately dismisses a good-looking guy (metrosexual good-looking) because I am not attracted to them. I prefer guys who are rough around the edges (whether cause they are lumber jacks, or geeks, or whatever.) My girl friends say its a good thing since then they can snatch up all the gorgeous hunks they want while I chase after the 'best friend' ;)

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  • Well Do you smile, Do you laugh at things, shower?

    Basically Find a girl you like, walk up to her and start talking to her, look at what she is wearing, does she like to read ( Books?) pet lover? is she a runner? and just work on talking to random girls anywhere, even in the store, Hold open doors for them, be a gentleman.

    Looks are not anything to most girls, they want to see there is more there then a pretty face. or a good body, I'd rather have a okay looking guy who has an amazing mind, then a great looking guy who is an Ass.

    Check out how you treat people, and how you come off to people. examine your self basically

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  • Understand, it's highly intimidating to approach a good looking guy. He is probably used to getting attention from females all the time. He might have specific expectations in a female. Sometimes it's just not worth approaching him because of rejection. It's too embarrassing and humiliating. I think if you see a girl who interests you, just go up to her and make general convo. Be natural and go from there. You may be surprised by the results.

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    • your right about good looking guys being used to getting attention from females but not true for all good looking guys.. what if a guy just got into the best shape of his life and just got his dream job and is more confident than ever.. how would anyone know if he's been like that forever or not?.. that's the tricky part =)

    • Show All
    • @ youknowthis: I have no way of knowing that, if he worked that hard then he should be proud of attaining his goals. However, it still doesn't change the fact that a female might be intimated by his looks. Personally, I would NEVER approach a hot guy because he is a different league than me. He will probably have better results approaching her.

    • you said the right things here:

      1He is probably used to getting attention from females,

      2He might have specific expectations in a female

      (because many women think I'm an attractive guy, I think I intimidate sometimes)

  • well, if you're not THAT good looking but you think you are, that's stupid. if you're really that good looking then you should have enough confidence to walk up to a girl. most think that the super hot guys are always taken, gay, or just players. which is why they don't bother. they probably do look, but they don't let you see that they do.

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    • that not true good look don't mean confidence because even then you may have a flow

    • im just saying that if you think you're good looking, why not try to talk to a girl instead of waiting for one to come to you? if you're that good looking very rarely would anyone try to make a move on you, it has to do with intimidation and things like that. if you walk up to them it shows their not just someone bothering you and you are actually interested in them one way or another.

  • Maybe they've done it before and received a cold response. Or they haven't but don't want to risk that. Or they are truly not interested because they equate extremely good looking guys with possibly being a player or being cocky or other similar unattractive qualities.

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  • well there are several reasons why this could be possible. firstly as a girl myself I think it goes against nature for a girl to ask a guy out. look at nature for example. who woos who? it is the male who woos the female. in the bird kingdom it is the male who puffs out his feathers and shows the female what a man he is. and before you say that humans are not animals, we are according to science. secondly, because you say you're good-looking and presumably you are, girls might find this intimidating and might think you as a 'player' so instead they might refrain from approaching you. I think you should pluck up the courage and instead of waiting around go and get socializing with a female. not only will she admire you for coming up to her but who knows you might actually make a friend:-) good luck dude

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  • Cos they are too scared of being rejected? Or cos you're so good looking you probably have plenty of girls swooning over you and she/other girls feels they cannot compete. So many reasons to this question! Why not try approaching the girl? Or join some hobby club where you can meet someone who will get to know you and appreciate you for who you are and not just for your looks...i.e. that you do have substance and not just a pretty face.

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  • that attitude, no offense but some girls don't like guys who think they deserve every female to worship the ground he walks on. maybe you are having a bad day and they don't react positively to your sad face or frown?

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  • lol you describe yourself as "extremely good looking" <<< that's being cocky and a lot of girls hate cokcy guys... I don't might cocky, I actually enjoy cokcy guys but some just hate it. approach the girls and compliment them. smiling always is the key

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  • Haha, well if you're as good looking as that, then it might be exactly what's going against you! I'm intimidated by really good looking guys and think they'd never be interested in me, may even sn***** if they see me looking interested - so I steer clear. I bet I'm not alone in that... praps see what you can do to look more approachable, look happy and smile a lot and perhaps approach a girl yourself, we don't all do the running contrary to what the feminists would have you believe!

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    • Dear God, why am I not allowed to use the word s.n.igger!?

    • because it is spelled snicker, you spelled the and word with an s in front of it

    • Nope, it's s.n.igger - it's a valid word in the UK meaning to laugh at someone in a condescending way. I wasn't trying to type snicker.

  • some girls just don't approach guys. not saying they don't think your not hot just not their personality. just approach them

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  • if you are good looking then it can be extremely intimadating.i would never approach an attractive guy.i figure he's either taken or out of my league

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  • Most girls would not approach a good looking guy because she doesn't want to get rejected and feel embarrassed. The girl is waiting for you to approach her ;)

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  • I'd be too scared because you're so hot.

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  • you need to be able to spot which ones have been glancing at you and then go get them yourself.

    they are looking at you, you're just being to thick to notice. Women glace as oppose to the staring men do. it takes some work to "catch" them.

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  • Try to be nice? Make the firs move yourself?

    I see a lot of hot guys wherever I go, but I don't approach them, that's your job most of the times, unless I already know that he is interested, but is shy...

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  • Man up and talk to the girl. She could be intimidated but before you go up to her make sure she is giving you signals that she is interested

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  • Confidence is even more important than looks believe it or not.

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  • babe, if your really that good looking, id be sh*tting myself about going up to you, I mean, eventually id pluck up the courage after doing some investigating to make sure your ACTUALLY single, cos I'm not the type to leave everything up to the guy, what if he's shy, sigh, some girls just don't think. if you went to my school and are as good looking as you say (my minds having a field trip) I would have asked you YONKS AGO. just ask her, most are embarassed. :)

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  • sometimes you have to have a good personality as well to pass the test I guess.

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  • Are you? Really and how come you are anonymous...?

    Girls won't approach guys just because they are good looking, you have to do something seem interested in her...give some sign

    Girls aren't as shallow as guys only looks don't get us going...

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  • We don't want to come across as desperate or anything and a lot believe the guy should make the first move.

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  • most likely think you are a jerk that is full of himself. sorry for sounding like a jerk

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  • u sound pretty full of your self that's generally not a quality I'm looking for. also since you asked this anonymously so we have no way of telling if your actually good looking it could all be in your head.

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    • So he is full of himself because he knows he is good looking? He is asking a question and because of the type of question being asked people need to know if he is good looking or not.

      Saying that he is full of himself is something a person who lacks confidence would say especially because he is just asking a question.

  • Ok I could understand if you were a girl and were askin this question. But you're a guy. Girls expect YOU to approach THEM. That's just the way it is

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  • i, for one, would be incredibly intimidated. but hey, everybody's different. I'd be fearful of quick rejection, ya know?

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  • :O my o my I asked a question today and it was the exact opposite of yours ! lmao :/ siigh we preety people have it hard :/

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  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 20

  • If you're extremely good looking as you state, why aren't YOU approaching women?

    Let me put it to you this way - the girls are most likely checking you out when you're present. They already find you attractive. But they're too worried or shy to even say something to you. Girls don't like being rejected - it can send them into an emotionally frenzy state and make them feel bad for the rest of the day, or possibly week or month.

    You see an attractive girl you want - go get her. And be NICE about it. Being a cocky jerk will make you look immature, stupid, and childish. Be a man and make the move - it's been this way since mankind evolved.

    Otherwise, if you want girls to approach you, then just sit back and be lazy. You'll lose interest and reject them fast, despite the girls' valiant, confident effort to get to know you more.

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  • Just been good lookign doesn't get you anywhere seriously, girls WANT you to appraoch them. Most of the time they will be checking you out and wishing that you would appraoch them

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    • Exactly no lass is ever going to go upto a lad who might reject her shed rather look and wish he'd move his ass and notice her

  • Because they're too busy looking at me ;)

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  • Coz if a girl does it, it seems as if she is a sexual predator. AKA "slag" (what b.s. I know.)

    Whereas if YOU do it. YOU ARE THE CONFIDENT, BOLD, BRAVE MAN!

    See why men usually do it?

    -If you are good looking...why aren't you doing it? Probably same reasons as to why they aren't as well.

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  • Post a pic, dude for help.

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  • It could be one of three things- 1 - you are not as good looking as you think-2- you may be too concieted to be approachable-3-you could be lolololol so good looking that women are flabergasted by your tremendous physique and lovely bone structure. :)

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  • Simply put, lots of people look good (in shape, confident) including me BUT its the attitude that matters most.. If you're good looking and know it, that's great for your confidence but if your looking at girls while EXPECTING them to be looking at you already, that's what's gonna keep you from getting anywhere.

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  • Um, man up and approach a girl yourself? What self entitlement you have over your looks, something you have little control over. Pride yourself in something you accomplish or do, not what was given to you.

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    • probably the best answer here .. I like that "pride yourself in something you accomplish, not what is given to you".

  • lol All I know is that if your good looking then you should be going at the girls without any problem.

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  • That's your job man. And mines too.

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  • That's your job man.

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  • lol I know your pain

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  • he has to stand out a lot

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  • I am nearing 30 and have not had the opportunity to experience love from a girl or been sexually active all these years.. I had seen a lot of schmucks cheating girls with some fake love and bullshit, But none of these "sensible Girls" have stopped falling prey to these wolves. Howcome I have not been loved by a single girl even though good looking and sensitive. I hate girls.. I don't believe in relationships anymore, Now my parents are seeing girls for me but I don't know how this arranged marriage system shall work.. I am still living this miserable life.. Somebody out there please help me out...

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  • beleive it or not, while you may be beauitful, you are not going to be every girl's type. girls have types, some like your look and some don't even if you are beauitful. girls are pickier than guys when it comes to looks. just the natural way it is.

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  • Too shy.

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  • They would approach a good looking guy. So if you're not getting approached, the simple fact is that you're just not that good looking. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

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    • I guarantee I'm way hotter than 99.9% of guys meaning you are probably ugly as **** in comparison to me.

    • Well, I get approached by hot girls so the facts would seem to indicate otherwise. Sorry bud!

  • Confidence is sexy...Girls are attracted to that...Be confident, be bold...But don't be rude or cocky...That's turn-off. Good luck dude.

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  • Because I am too busy snatching them up.

    While you sit there on the sidelines waiting for one to come to you :)

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  • fix your insecurity, because you clearly are if your asking advice from here

    its not about looks,

    just seem interesting to them, be confident, not cocky ... there is a huge difference

    be a gentlemen

    and don't seem desperate, make them come to you,

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