Is the ball always in the dumpers court?

[Anonymous]

As in, is it always up to the dumper whether or not to contact the dumpee. I feel that it is. They are the ones that broke up with you, and more often than not are the ones telling you to leave them alone.

So I feel that if they want you back, its up to them to make the first move, ESPECIALLY if the dumpee already tried getting them back only to be told "i don't want you, stop contacting me".

What do you all think?

[eldamien]

Why would you want someone back that dumped you then told you to stop contacting them? It's obvious they want nothing to do with you. Chalk it up to their loss and move on. Find someone that actually appreciates spending time with you rather than trying to beat your head against a wall with someone who is just treating you like garbage.

If they broke up with you, they obviously had a reason, whether it was valid or not. Just leave them be and move on.

[diabloknk]

If the dumper wants the relationship back, it's up to them to make the first move. The dumpee has likely stopped trying to get back together because he/she has moved on or has just given up and is trying to move on.

[Asker]

agree. My situation is I've given up and I'm trying to move on. Not quite over him yet, but I'm doing the best I can. and a lot of times the dumpee stops contact (in my situation) because the dumper makes it clear they want you to leave them alone. I just wish I would've done the whole NC thing from the very beginning instead of 3 mths into the break up.

[Anonymous]

im in a simliar situation. I'm the dumpee and I have contacted my ex first every time in the past 2 wees. he hasn't told me to stop contact though and says we will catch up again soon, so this gives me hope and is stopping me from moving on completely.

but I agree, if you want to know if the dumper is interested still/again then wait for them to contact you first a few times, then see what happens.

[Anonymous]

I contacted my ex first when he dumped me because I couldn't find a backpack and thought maybe I left it over there...He started talking to me more and more and I think he wants me back.

[AmberChick]

Not always, if the dumpee wants to get the dumper back they can try.

[SunSeeker]

that's the way I see it! if you get dumped, life goes on oh well, on to the next one! ;)

[Asker]

I agree...move on the best you can. If they happen to come back and that's what you want, take it from there. But don't sit around waiting for them!

[SunSeeker]

amen!

[suavaye]

nt always, if the dunpee doesn't let the dumper's decision effect them then the dumper may realize they ,made a big mistake and want them back. then the shoes on the other foot >:)

[oxidizer235]

why would you want the person back if you dumped them...

[diabloknk]

People have regretted dumping somebody before.

[oxidizer235]

true

[Asker]

yeah I agree that people have regretted the decision to break up which is what made me think to post this question. I've always been one to look at a break up like this...if you got dumped and you want them back tell them. but if you tell them how you feel and they still say they want nothing to do with, then it's up to them to make that contact with you down the road!

[Anonymous]

but why does it matter? you guys are over. move on. there is no ball

[taster]

yeah...agreed...like it or not...not sure why you got a down arrow...reality sucks maybe...?

[Anonymous]

So true :)