Guy I'm dating is moving slow as a turtle.... Is he interested or not?

I met this guy at work approximately four months ago and we've been on maybe 4-5 dates. He's very much a gentlemen, we have fun on dates and speak fairly frequently however, he is just not asking me out on a consistent basis. I'm not sure what to think of the situation. I'm OK with moving slow but we are moving super slow.

In my mind I assumed that he was dating someone else or maybe losing interest in me so I pulled back. He confronted me and we had the "talk" about my change in attitude. I simply explained that I thought he wasn't interested so I backed off to keep things from getting awkward. He swears he is interested so I'm just confused as to why we are moving so slowly. It should be noted that he is very shy and the last relationship was kinda crazy. I can understand that he may be leery about rushing into something but we're talking about dating not getting married. I just don't get it.

Any thoughts? Am I wasting my time here or do you think he's actually interested. I really do like him but I don't want to waste my time if its going nowhere.


Most Helpful Girl

  • well you do things to push the relationship forward, maybe he just not a guy who takes the lead. If that doesn't work move on, nobody wants a guy who doesn't have a burning desire to see them, I know how you feel, he's squeezing all the interest out of you. Wish you luck


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What Guys Said 2

  • Sometimes a tutrtle gets to the finish ine ahead of the hare. Give him a break, it sounds like he's had bad experiences. Who hasn't?

  • Question: Why are you expecting him to consistently ask you out?

    If you're an advocate for equality, you should also be asking him out some too.


What Girls Said 1

  • I feel like I'm going through the exact same thing! -- I don't know if he and I are an official couple or not.. I know he cares about me-- he's just moving insanly slow! -- How did your situation turn out?

    • We are just friends (in my mind) and I am going to continue to date other people. I pretty much distanced myself from him and he stepped up a bit, but not in the way I wanted him to. He says he's trying to do better and I do see somewhat of a difference, but I just can't limit myself to him when he's not giving me what I want.