Why are girls SO flaky?

[Anonymous]

I talk to a lot of girls and many display legit interest. I get their numbers, chat with them online, whatever. We always agree on a date or when to hang out.

I'd say out of every chick I talk to, a good 90% flake. I don't understand what more I can do. I don't want to be lonely, I hate going out to clubs and bars just to meet girls.

It doesn't even matter where I meet the girl, they always flake out. I'm starting to think its just hopeless and women these days just have too many guys to choose from. I can't compete with 8 other guys for one girl. Its not fair, its not right. And just so you know, I'm not even going for hot girls. These are average to above average girls I'm talking to, and I usually find out they were talking to several guys in addition to me. So getting a date with a girl is like winning a lottery I guess.

Girls, why why why why agree to go out with a guy then flake? If you don't like him then y give out your number and why agree to go out with him?

[vmw2008]

I agree that flakiness is wrong and that if a girl agrees to go out on a date with you, she should honor that commitment granted you haven't done something rude/outrageous to cause her to cancel.

As for the rest of it, you cannot blame a girl for talking to many guys while she is single and looking for a good match, or maybe not looking at all but just having some fun. Would you really turn down the opportunity to talk with many girls if you were just getting to know these girls, and had no idea whether one would be better for you than the other? It's perfectly fair actually, you can talk with multiple girls too you're just not. Besides, you give yourself too little credit. If you're already saying you can't compete with 8 other guys, you've already lost. Be confident in yourself. As soon as you get into the mindset that she could be talking to 100 brad pitt look alikes and they still ain't got nothin' on you, your success with women will be plenty.

[CuddlyCarla]

You'd be surprised, women go through the same thing with guys. I think it's safe to say that a lot of people are inconsistent, the internet and digital communication probably makes it easier for people to be flaky, on top of that people get scared and have a million other reasons for backing out that you never know about. Just keep trying, there isn't much else you can do. Thinking it's hopeless and that you can't compete is not an answer or solution, you have as much of a chance as anyone if you assert yourself and keep putting yourself out there.

[ilovecookies]

Men flake me as well, more or less as much as I flake men. I wouldn't give out my number, and I'd only agree to go out with him if he's being too annoying and persistent. (men have done this to me as well, so we're even).

[Quadrophonic84]

Think of it this way - these girls get a good 10-15 years of prime attractiveness. Then to the outside world or anyone who basically doesn't already love them, they don't have much going for them. To any one of those girls who isn't completely disconnected from reality, that's a pretty frightening prospect.

Meanwhile on our side of the table, we typically get more and more valuable to society as we age, and many of us become more handsome as we age. I think I look better now than I did even five years ago.

This is a pretty depressing proposition and your average woman will be in denial about it until 10 years after age has taken their beauty. In the meantime, they will do anything they an to maximize the attention they receive for the smallest effort possible in order to stoke their ego to its fullest since one ~35 comes along, they will pretty much all be coasting.

Let them have their flaky inconsiderate behavior. We ultimately win.

[Shaun]

Nah, don't feed their egos while they are in their prime either. Then we really win.

[Quadrophonic84]

I agree it's not ideal, but I like going out with pretty girls. So I'm stuck.

[Shaun]

Because they like having their options open? Because they get off on the ego boost? Yep, many of them are garbage, I'm not sure how you can tell which are which from an initial meeting though.

[Danimal007]

All too common problem. I match and strike up a great conversation with quite a few, plan out something fun to do, usually dinner drinks etc. Then when the time comes to find a date/time, they drag their feet, and find every excuse why they can’t make it, and never reciprocate to tel you when they’ll be free. If this is happening it’s not something you did per se. If they weren’t interested, they wouldn’t be holding a conversation in the first place. Over the years, I’ve found this is mostly due to the woman’s own insecurities. The main reason being, she’s not nearly as attractive as in her profile pics. All of this is incredibly immature. If they were serious about dating anyone in the first place, they would upload realistic photos and be eager to give it a chance. Instead, they live in a fantasy & thrive off the gratification of reading the hundreds of ogling comments from desperate guy. Quite often, they never had the intention of meeting anyone anyway.

[MachineMan]

It is part of the game. I have been lucky girls haven't usually flaked on me, some might be really late though which pisses me off. I guess maybe you are going for more shallow girls, look for smarter ones they tend to not act as immaturely.

[udolipixie]

Girls, why why why why agree to go out with a guy then flake?

Bored or playing the how many numbers game with my girls

If you don't like him then y give out your number and why agree to go out with him?

See previous answer

[justlilly]

Most girls are just like that. Not even just to guys--to all of their friends and everyone.

[Anonymous]

Good to hear it goes both ways.