When a guy doesn't pay?

his guy who I do like and we do get a long has asked me on breaks with him and lunch where he took me out and paid both times. He asked me on a break again but he didn't pay this time does that mean he doesn't like me that way or I'm in the friend zone or I did something wrong? he mentioned after we bought our stuff that he had bad money managemnet or something like that.. ha ha and mentioned that he is getting paid soon..just wondering if a guy stopped paying does that mean your just a friend. I would have paid for him this time but he beat me to it and just paid before I could ask. cause next time when he asks me on break I'm gonna pay regardless. And I don't expect him to pay or anything I;m not like that just wondering if that a red flag or something.

  • Just a friend
    12% (2)7% (1)9% (3)Vote
  • Doesn't mean anything..could still be interested
    88% (15)93% (14)91% (29)Vote
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Most Helpful Girl

  • My boyfriend and I occasionally will go dutch on meals, usually he'll ask if he's running low on money. I wouldn't worry too much about it. It's likely he's just trying to watch his money until next pay and still wants to have his lunch with you. It's something he looks forward to as well I'm guessing and this time really wanted it, but just couldn't afford the two of you at that point and the fact that he brought it up, means he probably doesn't like that I couldn't pay, so he didn't want you to worry about what him not buying for you this time.

    • yeah maybe.. he didn't flat out say sorry I couldn't pay for you.. he just brought up a situation ( I really can't remember what) but he concluded with how he can't manage his money.

    • Perhaps his way of apologizing, wanting you to understand, but as it is for a lot of people, it's hard to flat out say sorry, even for something simple. It was obvious that he understood that it was a big enough issue if he felt like bringing up why he couldn't pay.

    • lol yeah. He didn't bring up he couldn't pay or anything. lol it was just normal. He just mentioned having bad money management. So who knows lol

What Guys Said 6

  • maybe he was short on money that day and didn't want to say so.

    • maybe.. I was just wondering if that was a sign if a guy usually pays but doesn't one time. I don't expect him to. I wanted to pay for him to return the favor but he had already bought his stuff before I came.

  • Its sounds like he was just short on cash. Either that or he expected you to pay too since he feels you aren't in a relationship so you should share the bill. Guys can be clueless with these kind of things sometimes.

    • there was no way I could have paid that time. Cause he had already paid for his stuff by the time I got there. Like the the cash person was giving him back change. Then I paid for my stuff and he mentioned something and said he had bad money management skills lol. There no way I could have paid/ he expected that time lol next time I will for sure though regardless.

  • He wants to see if you are the type of women that will make him pay all the time. I used to always pay when in a relationship, but after I saw how many women liked to date these gangsta type of guys that don't even pay for McDonald's I decided to accommodate them and not pay after the first few dates.

    • well I didn't say anything I just paid my own way. He brought up bad money management and I didn't really comment on it lol I just let him say it. Was that wrong of me? .. next time I'm gonna pay if he asks me again. Was it best that I didn't say anything and I paid my own way? god I hope he doesn't think I expect him to pay all the time. lol not like that at all.

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    • lol did I pass then? by not saying anything hahah. I just paid my own way.

    • I would think so.

  • definitely could still be interested

    • Thanks.. so it isn't like not a sign of losing interest or me doing something wrong?

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    • "I don't know if that was him trying to cover for not paying or just brining up convo."

    • oh the boy is playing mind games then.

  • Last I checked, this was 2011.

    • I get that. trust me I wanted to pay but he had alreayd paid by the time I got there and when I got my stuff he talked about how he had bad money management. I was just wondering if it was a red flag or something like if they don't pay when they usually do. that all.

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    • lol this is true. well if he asks me again I'll pay to return the favor regarless you don't think that shows the friend zone or anything/ I did anything wrong?

    • You need to talk to him.

  • He wanted to see if you are gonna contribute to the relationship or if is always going to be a one sided thing.

    • lol well I hope I contributed then by paying my own way. Cause as I have said before there was no way I could have offered to pay as when I got there he had already put the money down and he was getting change back. I just didn't say anything and paid my own way. It not like I called him out.I just asked normal and did my own thing.

    • Then you should arrange the next date and pay for both you and him. This will show him that you are interested in him.

    • do you think he is interested though? I mean he paid both times and I know he didn't pay the last time. though, he asked me the next day if I was going to join them for the BBQ but I couldn't cause I didn't get a lunch that day. but I guess that's one way to get a message across. It would be a sign that he doesn't like me that way, if he won't let me pay for him?

What Girls Said 6

  • he just didn't have the money but didn't want to make you pay for him

  • I think, in this day and age, it's okay for guys not to pay... equal level playing field for guys/girls. when you're married and one person commits to household stuff and the other, work related, I think it changes.

  • My boyfriend pays for me wherever we go...But when he's sick, I'll go visit him at work and bring him soup and his favorite candy. I had flowers sent to him when he had to work on Christmas *he likes flowers* I think it's a matter of give and take.

  • B, if he keeps it up though he may be friend-zoning you. Try asking him about it...

    • thats what I was thinking. But next time I am going to pay regardless or offer anyway.

  • if he said he had bad money management skills it's probably just because he realized he only had money for himself or just realized its too expensive to pay for you all the time. I think that if he keeps asking you out, he likes you. Just make sure it's not a at-work thing. he needs to ask you out on a real date otherwise he could just want to be lunch buddies.

    • yeah I have no idea what the situation was. As I got there he already paid.. and when I paid for mine when we walked out he mentioned something about a siutation.. and kept repeating he had money management problems lol. I don't really know how to get him to ask me on a real date. I'm going off his lead .. and it just seems to be lunch and breaks at the moment :/ he hasn't gone to the work gatherings latley.. though I ask if he went.