Have you ever noticed that guys with good hearts go nowhere with girls?

Question

i mean genuinely good hearts, the kind of guys that get nervous, that blush, that fumble words around girls. then you see other guys, who are tools getting not one, not two, but sometimes MANY girls commenting on their Facebook about this or that. or being like OMMMG I totally miss you.

wow seems so fake, but if its serious then it just saddens me. I know a few guys like this and all they do is talk about "smashing girls" the term they use. or refer to girls as their "smash piece" its like wow really guys?

whats the problem with guys that really like the girl legitimately, that are nervous and scared? is it ultimately the fact that these guys would actually be committed that scares the girls off? I hate how girls refer to these types of guys as creeps when they want nothing more but to treat a girl right and pursue something real with them. you can argue that some truly are creepy, maybe some are, but a lot simply can't control themselves because the girl makes their insides flutter like crazy. its really what it all comes down to.

thoughts? advice? why do good guys never get the girl?

enkindledveracity · Accepted Answer

I know why.

I know that sounds arrogant, but if you're willing to listen, relax your guard and be open, then maybe I can help you see with what I've lived.

So if you don't mind a little biography, lets try to get on the same page for a sec.

I've been "that guy" since I was little. People give me "the look" a lot, which was kinda creepy sometimes. I wasn't the cocky type though.

Since my parents were the latch-key lock'em-up types, I didn't get out much, or have strong role models - so I decided to learn from people as much as I could so I could be my own role model.

I turned out to be "wow, you're really nice" - and people find it easy to talk to me. I don't judge.

After helping a lot of people when their life sucked - and no shortage of my own screw-ups <.<- I found out this:

Guys need to feel strong in different ways. Sometimes its by how much they know (Nerdy/Geeky), how much they can do (specialists or guys with a ton of skills and how well they can do them), how much punishment they can take physically or emotionally (two different types), etc.

How a guy deals with whatever kind of strength they pick tells you not just what kind of guy they are, it says how sexy they are too.

The kind of "nice guy" you mean (and I've been it), usually need to feel safe, secure because they don't see a world that values morals and peace the way they do - and they won't fight for themselves, they'll fight to protect someone else, but choose to take the hits.

"Nice guys" are strong because they can wait, not because they can fight. They'll take as much punishment from loneliness and screwing up and emotional/social suffering they can.

But that means they won't "fight" for a girl because they think girls are like guys: Whatever a girl wants each second is a girl's free will, and changing that isn't nice.

Nice guys are used to being charming as the "sweet kid" when they're little and get confused when that isn't enough.

Nice guys don't fight other guys for girls or fight at all unless they have someone/something to protect - but they need to have you first.

Cocky Jack@sses get a ton of girls because they *will* fight, a lot. Guys get confident by having a lot of success, and to guys, being attractive by a lot of girls gives us confidence.

Some days I'm "the nice guy" - too nice, and get weird looks. Most days though, I'm the guy who pulls the Jack@sses in line with a look or a word and leaves anyone watching maybe a "thank you, you're a charming woman/lady/girl" smile.

If you want a nice guy, be ready to be patient, teach them a lot about being a strong fighter and inspire them to be a confident man.

That's the beauty of a "nice guy" - a strong, wise woman (who won't whip him) can raise an amazing beau.

L8r!

TylerMMA · Accepted Answer

What it comes down to is evolution in a way. you have traits that work and traits that don't and the entire female population decides how the male population is gonna act but they don't know it.

Why do girls say all guys are players? Because girls go for players. Why do guys act like that? Because girls go for players...

Its a never ending cycle until the entire female population places value on a new set of advantageous traits.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Your problem, like most guys who struggle with girls, is that you stamp a nice label on something that's a flaw. Similar to an obese woman calling herself "curvy." You are not a good guy because you blush, fumble your words, and don't know how to get girls. Lots of those guys who are good with women are good guys too. You simply are more insecure, lack confidence, don't have that laid back air that women find intoxicating. It has nothing to do with good or bad. And the sooner you realize this, the quicker you will be able to change it and start getting girls.

The guys that convince themselves that nice guys finish last and jerks always win, are guys that are still single, still bitter, still unsuccessful. Why? Because it's just not true! Women do want good guys, we just don't want scared, insecure, non-masculine guys. They are two different things. Most women don't want jerks. The only reason it seems that way is because guys who are successful with women are called jerks by bitter guys. It's become a sad stigma in our society that if you don't get girls you're "nice" and if you do, you're a "jerk." It's not true, and again, is only used by unsuccessful guys in order to feel better about themselves, rather than changing the problem so that they can start getting girls themselves.

Kelandry · Accepted Answer

I would like to think that in the end these guys end up finding the 'perfect' girl for them who won't walk all over them because they are nice.

I would love to find a guy with a 'good heart' - this is more important to me than looks or anything else. I don't ever write guys off on dates for stupid things like looks, money, clothes, confidence or any of that. I wait until they have opened up and I've seen what they're like and then I judge.

I will only be in a relationship with someone who has a 'good heart' - however long that takes me. I don't like 'bad guys' or jerks.

Maybe it's good that not every girl goes for these kinds of guys because a lot of girls - especially those that might go for the bad guys typically - might take advantage of them more easily and really hurt them.

I hope for the actual decent guy and one very lucky girl that they do find someone.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

this made me sad :(

678987 · Answer

This is not true. I like and I mean really like one shy guy who gets nervous around me but the problem is, that even if I like him I get fucking nervous too even if I look "cold" and "secure of myself" from the outside. So, I would not make the move, he has to do it. Secondly, I told one of these guys I liked him and he told me friendship so maybe here the problem is the guy is way too shy and you really want something you have to step out your comfort zone! The guy has to do the move. so find the courage and declare yourself!

naturally · Answer

Guys with good hearts need to find girls with good hearts that want what they want.

I don't think girls in their teens and 20's are looking for love, they're looking for fun, and guys that are assholes give them fun...at least in the short run.

I turned down a very darling guy with a very good heart a couple months ago because I don't want a relationship right now. So that's why it's important that both people want the same things.

ZenQueen · Answer

good heart= nervous and fumbling? Women are attracted to confidence! There is true confidence (that could mean a shy, quiet man or a loud eccentric man) and there is fake confidence (assholes who are hiding insecurities). this question has been asked so many times before. Don't you know what true confidence is? Women who date insecure man are usually insecure themselves. Maybe you need to find more confident women, and know the difference between the two.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

You need to look up the “How Attractive” video by hoe_math on YouTube. It will break down the psychology you’re having trouble reasoning with.
Women like nice guys. But they want bad boys too. Ideally both, but being too nice just makes you creepy or gives them the ick.

Staximus · Answer

A lot of women these days would rather know you desire them sexually than be shown that you actually care about them before they get to know you. Then they wonder why they can never find a good man. They think with their vagina first and their brain later. You need to go some place where the women are more old fashioned and want to find out if the guy is a good man before fucking him. If you find a good woman, you need to make it known that you want her around.

dryad · Answer

"but a lot simply can't control themselves because the girl makes their insides flutter like crazy" Practice approaching girls you're not attractive to.

gemma1323 · Answer

i like guys with good hearts and don't know really what to say. I hang out with a group of them that have gotten use to talking to me but when other girls are around they don't kno what to say and I just sit there and laugh. it is cute and funny.

whirled_up_girl · Answer

Actually in the small town where I live it's hard to find a guy over the age of 25 that isn't already married or in a serious relationship. Even the nice guys that are shy 🤷‍♀️

Green_Tea · Answer

no I havn't noticed this. generally, the girls that like these types are sluttty themselves.

JacobJordan · Answer

wife response: well I married that type of guy in my country women WANT guys like that and we know how to treat our men

OlderAndWiser · Answer

No, I have not noticed that, and I have been observing relationships for more than 50 years.

Anonymous · Answer

This is a fallen world. Many are possessed with demons without realising and the Jezebel spirit is celebrated. I wouldn't expect women in such a world to appreciate men with good hearts much...

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, but have you noticed the guys with those good hearts never choose worthwhile girls? I bet you haven't.

WheelerOfSeeds1 · Answer

Stars are dots of light in a sea of darkness, keep your guard up and you’ll meet her.

bededazzle · Answer

they may be pursuing the wrong people

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, I have never noticed that.

ThrillSeeker01 · Answer

Nope.

Have you ever noticed that guys with good hearts go nowhere with girls?

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