Don't get to down about it. Girls have a strong sense of wanting to be pursued and don't want to be the first to budge. Some girls are very confident about themselves and would initiate first. Others play the little game of seeing if you are genuinely interested or not.
Girls have a big fear of rejection cause when it happens, it hurts their self esteem. This is why they let the guys do all the work in the beginning. It's selfish, I know..but it's the way girls are and you're gonna have to get that in your head right now. Study it, memorize it, know it...that way when it happens again, you'll know exactly what to do. More times than not a girl will start to open up and initiate contact with you, but you'll have to show increasing and consistent signs of interest before they ever do that. It's all about how comfortable they are with you...that will dictate whether they'll start chasing you.
So yes, most of the time you'll have to initiate contact first. Try breaking the ice and things will go a lot smoother. Don't smother her, but show genuine interest and then leave it be. Text her every couple days and only ask her for a date maybe once a week. Let a few weeks go by, and by that time if she truly likes you, she'll be the one chasing you.
I think this guy is right about why a girl may never initiate communication/texting.
Not necessarily. She could be shy or be wondering if you really like her.
I, myself, have a long history of guys not liking me, calling me ugly, and telling me that my skin is too dark. In middle school, guys even used to threaten to physically assault me if I even looked at them. Every relationship I've ever been in only lasted a few months, with the guy leaving me for someone else. Also, I'm a 26-year-old virgin. All this has caused me to believe that I'm undesirable and makes me very hesitant to initiate conversations with guys I'm interested in.
Well it's like this.. If a girl initiates conversations and shows that she is interested then the guy loses interest or she gets labeled as clingy! If she ignores him, he either goes away or continues to pursue. If he is a player, ignoring will not feed his ego and he will beat it sooner or later. Ignoring is a good weeding out tool for the ladies. Unless she is shy and that is whole different ball of wax. :)
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Try never to read into any one thing to much. Take a look at all the responses you've received. Everyone would have their own personal motives for doing such a thing.
The best way to approach this kind of thing is to take the mass of your interactions and basically keep score; "she's interested" and "she's not interested".
The girl never initiating the im's is 1 for the "she's not interested" side.
Where you award the points just takes common sense. If a girl is interested in you she will want to talk to you. Ignore all the rules of playing hard to get.
That's what I do. I generally score them on three separate interactions; three points each interaction. Once for the introduction, once for the conversation, and once more for the good bye's.
If she's shy I look for some of the signs she might give. In the introduction she might have a hard time keeping eye contact or maybe she blushes. Check one for the "she's interested" side.
If she's confident and during the conversation phase she ensures to include you in the conversation you can again check one for the "she's interested" side.
If she's again confident and during the good bye's she addresses you directly, check one for the "she's interested side".
Tally up each interaction and then again when you've got three interactions. If she's given more signals towards then against, ask her out. You really have no reason not to.
Now this is sometimes hit and miss. It probably does me 40/60 in terms of odds for success. However, that's not taking into account that some of the girls just aren't available, not that they weren't interested.
Wow girls, the responses are shocking. I don't text so I'm so glad I don't have to go through this. Regardless of that I still call the guys that I am interested in because it makes sense that I would want to get to know them. If the guy thinks I am too clingy and loses interest then it's his problem and his loss not mine (there should be no reason for him to think that anyway if I only call every three days or so). I understand that you don't want to bother them but if they truly like you then they will be flattered. If he has no time or something he usually says I'll call you back later, and again if he is truly interested he will call. I never call a guy unless I am really interested because I hate talking on the phone.
See it's very unfair for a lot of us guys because it's kind of like a game to some people. We are literally just trying to get to know you more and if you do not want us to go beyond friends, just flat out say it. Having a guy constantly be the one to initiate it when you know damn well his intentions, is just wrong in my opinion. If I knew a girl was texting me BECAUSE she liked me and I didn't feel the same way, I'd just break it to her nicely. That's all I'm asking for. I'm 23. Not looking for games. Highschool is supposed to be over with.
I saw some girl said that they fear coming off as clingy. I don't see that as clingy, I just see it as you being you. Why deny yourself if you're wanting to talk? If you get clingy and the guy is a nice person, he'll just tell you. It won't be the end of the world. Just my take on it.
Traditionally, girls are advised NOT to initiate texting. It makes them look desperate and "nice"/"good" girls should not appear desperate. According to most guidelines for young ladies (at least in more conservative circles), it is the young man's responsibility to initiate communications.
Realistically, this puts a heck of a lot of pressure on a guy. It also drives girls nutty waiting for the shy guy to show some sign of life... And yet there it is, a ridiculous clause in the social etiquette most likely designed by upper class men to help them select demure wives...
Sigh.
No, I don't agree that guys should always initiate. However they DO have much less to lose if they initiate and are rejected. A little droop in their pride isn't too bad. Girls, on the other hand, have the potential to lose their reputations by being marked overly flirtatious, forward, and otherwise inappropriate. The social connotations for the girl get pretty drastic depending on what culture she's from...
Personally, I legitimately do not care. If she's the kind of girl where I have to be the first to do everything then I don't want her. Your relationship with her at the beginning is the framework of anything down the road. Setup a situation where you work, she sits back doing nothing and you will quickly be in a nightmare with the "girl of your dreams".
Maybe she likes you or not, but the outcome is effectively the same. If she doesn't. Move on. If she does, then you probably don't want to be with a girl like her. In my experience, if the girl likes you she will go out of her way to hit you up at some point. Even busy women are down to set up plans that you could join her on, with the hopes of seeing you. I've met maybe 2 girls in my life her were legit busy as fuck to the point of not being able to really do anything else. But you know what both girls had in common? The ability to call or text me and both made it a point to do so.
man let me just leave you some of my advice: if you think she is the type of girl who would initiate contact with a guy she likes then, she doesn't like you. but I have dated girls who are very shy or are kind of new to dating or never had a real boyfriend and sometimes these girls are just really shy and need you to kinda push everything on them. But yeah if she talks to you a lot and goes out with you and you can play touch her without her getting wierded out or pulling away then your in otherwise move on.
Just watch her body language and stop trying to use the Internet to hide your own insecurities.If it's a "future long distance relationship" you will need to meet face to face at one point.
If she knows you are interested in her and doesn't even look at you or has a blanc expression when she sees you it means she is not interested.
If she blushes,avoids eye contact but if you catch her eye and she changes her view it means she is too shy to approach you and that you need to make the first step.
Probably. In what context. Someone you just know casually but you are hoping to make a move and ask her out or is this in a relationship, your girlfriend never initiates?
A lot of girls still live by the "a guy must pursue me, I don't pursue guys, I just sit back and wait to be approached" so unless you've made your move, asked her out let it be clear that you like her than she may never reach out. Usually after a guy initiates some dates and takes a woman out several times and she starts to feel more relaxed with the guy and that they have a thing starting up she'll usually be the one who initiates a lot of the talking and texting.
Is she still doesn't after dating a bit than I'd say she isn't into you.
Sometimes that might mean a girl isn't interested,but I think some girls just want guys to initiate communication.Its part of the chase.If I were you,i would stop and let her step up to the plate.If she doesn't,she wasn't that interested in the first place.
What about looking into men´s perspective? Why in this modern era people still behave like w are in the ancient times. Times changes what is wrong a man or a woman initiate a conversation. Why the man always has to be the one, why a woman can't be responsable to take taht burden out of the guy.
For me, no. It doesn't always mean she don't like you. She just wants you to initiate the conversation first.
Honestly me, I prefer it if the guy initiates the conversation first. Sometimes I do, but most of the time, I will wait for the guy to initiate the talk first. I'm shy, or wondering if you even want to talk to me in the first place.
If she always reply to your texts, then yes she likes you. But if it takes her time to reply, short replies or no replies at all, then no, she doesn't like you that much.
Dude don't listen to what people say on here. If a girl never initiates conversation then she is not interested.Don't waste your time on her. I have never known ANY girl who has been interested and does not want to initiate conversation.As a matter of fact girl who is interested will leave clues so that she can initiate conversation with a legitimate reason.
Whenever a guy texts me I always text him back. I like talking to people! I really do. :) But, there are three reasons in which I wouldn't:
1) I'm genuinely busy, and told myself I'd text him back later, but forget to...
2) I'm going to leave for something soon, and I don't want to start a conversation, then just say bye. that would be kinda sucky.
3) or, I don't have time.
those are the only reasons. If I don't like a guy, or don't want to talk to him, I wouldn't just ignore him.
It is not so important if she initiates or not is it? In any case women love it to feel wanted and special so if you stat the convo you will make her feel better. Just talk to her if you feel like it, if she shows sign that she is a bit bored when you talk to each other then maybe she is really not so interested. Don't take online friendships/relationship too seriously. It is just not as easy to read feelings through text.
I personally pretty much never initiate a conversation online or text a guy if I really like him.. and as strange as it may be I'm more prone to initiate a conv online with a guy I don't like that way cause I don't necessarily care about whether or not I'm annoying him anyway.. lol.
If you wanna know if a girl really likes you you have to meet her live and read her body language and everything... a lot can be hidden behind the texts and online convos..
Lately if it is a guy who I enjoy talking to, I only initiate if the guy has a initiated a few times prior. I’ve had many one-sided relationships and friendships so that’s how I do things. If I am not interested I won’t initiate even if he has initiated in the past.
Usually, it depends on what your conversations hold... if she acts like she's interested any other time you initiate a conversation... (talking back to you quickly, talking to you for long periods of time) it usually means she's just wanting you to keep up the pursuing of her... A lot of girls really dig guys who aren't afraid of starting a conversation, and pursuing her.
not for me, I feel like I'm bothering the guy if I start the convo so I just wait for him to talk to me 95% of the time...on the other hand, when a guy starts talking to me and I only responed with yea, OK, sure, you 2? that's kinda my way of saying, get lost, without being so mean about it lol :)
I don't ever text him first, even if he gives me his number, because I'm still unsure, so usually I give him my number back so the ball is in his court. If he talks to me and seems to carry a conversation, I will text him first sometimes from then on out as long as he seems to enjoy talking to me. If I get the vibe that the conversation is dying or feel like he's not interested such as taking a long time to reply back or he ignores my texts then tries to talk the next day, I'm more skeptical about talking to him, because I feel like I'm just an annoyance to him. So just because she isn't texting you first doesn't mean she doesn't like you, she may just be shy and still nervous to text you first, as long as she talks to you and laughs, you have a shot. Best wishes :)
It doesn't necessarily mean that, but it isn't a good sign. She still may like you which you should see from the way she reacts to you when you initiate communication.
One more (important) thing though. If by "like you" you mean she has romantic interest in you, you need to calibrate her responses correctly. There are LOTS of actions that she may take that would be consistent with her having romantic interest in you but which are ALSO consistent with her NOT having romantic interest in you. Being polite, laughing at jokes, etc. So you need to find actions that she can take that actually REVEAL INFORMATION. That would mean that they are consistent with her having romantic interest but are INCONSISTENT with her NOT having romantic interest. Kissing (on the mouth, with tongue) would be a great example of that.
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