Life seems to have lost its magic?

[michitas]

sup all

I have a problem...but it might be something that other people experience aswell...

The older I get, the less fun I have in life. everything seems to have lost its magic. it's as if I've seen behind the system of this world and that there's nothing special there. it all just is the way it is. it's almost like I'm trying to cheat myself into thinking that there's more, even though I know that there isn't. maybe that's part of growing up...but other people are always so cheery and happy sometimes. I really wanna feel the magic of Christmas again...or the feeling of getting up in the morning when it's my birthday...

also the free time I have seems to be over way too quick and I don't even know what I should do through that time. I feel emotionless and driveless. I work from 8am to 6pm as a IT-Specialist...work's good and pays well...it keeps me occupied mentally...

my girlfriend broke up with me at the end of April. when I have a girlfriend, it kinda gives my life a purpose. I really wanna have a girlfriend again, but I don't even wanna make the effort to meet anyone. In relationships I really open myself up emotionally...and when it's over it's almost as if a part of me dies...followed by more emptiness.

I can't sleep during the night...I wake up like 5 to 10 times. I feel restless and can't let myself relax. on a side note, I go to bed at 11pm and get up at 7:15am.

I can't seem to make myself happy with anything.

what can I do to make life fun again?

how can I enjoy it all?

how can I see the magical things again that used to make life so enjoyable?

I'm thankful for all kinds of tips, but also criticism!

[Anonymous]

Heyy :) I think I answered your question about the time you had broke up with your girlfriend. and you were feeling really sad.

a couple of things to do to make your life exciting would be, why don't you volunteer teaching children between the ages 6 and 10? You learn so much from them and how they view the world will totally affect your view of the world. (I do that and it almost gives me so much hope)

you could also try out sports that would make your heart race even thining about it.

another thing you could do is knock on a neighbours house and ask them if they need help with anything, and help them.

you need to make a goal in life. something that will last for a long term. soething that will stay there regardless of losing people or having new people in your life.

and I hope you have seen a counselor . remember that when people get married they get married for love (that is what the real meaning of marriage is even though many people take advantage of it.) and so when you have girlfriend it is just like you have been married to her but got a divoirce. marriage doesn't have to be written on a piece of paper. it's basically a love shared between 2 people. so when you break up with your girlfirnd you have actaully had a divorce.

don't let time heal it. talk to someone who can give you comfort . talk about your feelings. don't bottle it up.

I know men usually tend to keep their feelings to themselves but that is the worst thing you can do to your health. Cry if you have to. Pray if you have to. just don't forget that at times like this you have to be your own support if you don't have anybody.

I hope this helps :)

[michitas]

hey! thanks, that you've responded to my question and are helping me again:-)!

I don't know what I could teach children and even when I'd have time to do that. the only thing I may be able to teach is martial arts (Shaolin Gongfu) and math. I don't know my neighbors, since I moved where I live now not too long ago. Swiss-People are mostly very strict and might misinterpit things when I offer my help. I have absolutely no goal in life..and can't see a point in it all. I'm not your normal man

[michitas]

I show my feelings to people I trust and have no problem with it. Crying can be helpful...but right at this moment it's not even possible since I feel so numb. I have not seen a counselor and am not sure if I even want to... and yeah, having a breakup can be like a divorce, especially if you always open up emotionally in relationships only to get dumped again. it hurts...

what other tips can you give me?

(thanks again)

[Opinion Owner]

I think martial arts is great one and so is math. I think being around children really helps. it give you a new way of looking at life for some reason.

I don't know if you believe in God, it would be great if you sat in your room 3 times a day and just talked to God about your problems and ask for help and patience and ask for a way that will get you out of this. (u don't have to go to a particular temple to worship God he is everywhere and can hear ya.)

[Opinion Owner]

The fact that you are new in your neighbourhood is great, that might be one of the reasons that may be causing you to feel this way. I remember my family moved a lot and I hated it because we had to start everything new. so a great way would be, go to your neighbors and ask for advise if they don't like you helping them out of blue. I have a swiss neighbour and they do seem really strict but that because they don't really know me.

[Opinion Owner]

I was wondering if you have family near you? If you do , spend some quality time with them.

What I used to do when I was really depressed a while a go, I started taking some classes outside of school which forced me to have something more to worry about and also forced me to hangout with people. You need to keep in mind that people come and go and we can't do anything about it at times. I think something exciting would be, hang out with some middle easterners.

[Opinion Owner]

it would be exciting to get to know them, they are also really friendly like crazy. they will invite you over to their house, stuff you with food. and you can learn something new about them. ( I find them to be really exciting people specially if they are of Lebanese background)

[michitas]

no, I don't quite believe in god...or lets say I'm a freethinker with a buddhistic way of treating other people. the neighborhood thing isn't causing this. I've been experiencing this feeling since I was about 15 years old. I've moved a lot of times in my life. even to other countries (like the US lol). where's your swiss neighbor from? I live with my parents at the moment and my brother lives near by. but spending time with them doesn't help about the matter at hand.

[michitas]

the middle eastern friends I have are all a bit nervous and computer tech freaks lol. the food stuff has already happened and I know a lot about them. for me it kinda seems as if I've already experienced it all and the stuff I may have not experienced seems boring. what can you do as a guy who has seen it all? or at least most of it?

[Opinion Owner]

I have moved around most of my life too, I have moved from continent to continent from country to county and culture to culture. I am personally tired of moving myself. so I know how it feels like to be new myself.

as for your Middle Eastern friends, what makes them nervous? that is may be something you could find out.

Life does feel point less at times but you need to see why you live. you need to figure out what is the purpose of life is.

[Opinion Owner]

We all were born for a reason. I don;t think we came into this world for no particular reason. We came here to define who we are. To build our skills. I think there is more dimensions to a human being rather than just our physical being. Imagine how your life would look like if you realized there is a soul that can be nourished which can give you extraordinary powers. you can be in 2 places at once. you can go to different parts of the world in one blink of an eye.

[Opinion Owner]

see how you can do that. I know of people (not personally ) who could put their hand in snow and out of it create fruits. (this person did happen to live during the 1900's .

there is so much more to life than just our ever day ordinary life. there are different dimensions to a human being. how can all this be boring to you? if you don't feel like doing research, then do sports. THEY ARE SO MUCH FUN! ever tried bungee jumping? (I would kill for it, it's so much fun!)

[Opinion Owner]

our neighbour is this White Canadian guy who married a Swiss lady. LOL I remember when she came to pick their son up from school their son would ask me to go with them, she always gave me the dirtiest glances ever :))) I think she didn't like me because 1st I was a girl and 2nd I was a visible Muslim. But her son and I were really close friends because I was always helping him out with school. He was one of the nicest guys I had ever seen in my life.

[Opinion Owner]

dude there is me talking too much. :) if you wanna talk add me on here and we can have a chit chat online :) you k now who I am :) (u chose me at best answer to your last question ) ;)

[michitas]

they're nervous because that's the being of their character. it has no real reason (except maybe the coffee we programmers drink). I have no real purpose for myself. I have no goals. I used to have goals, but I've reached them all. I do believe that I have a soul and that the soul lives on after death, but I don't really believe in god. I have my own religion in some ways, but it's logical to me :-P.

maybe I was put here, to show people how to harmonize with each other.

[MrScTi]

Well first of all, you're wrong because... just kidding :)

This all appears to stem from the break-up, and the fact that you are transitioning into your prime. Physically, there isn't much left to look forward to, and the habits you carry now are the habits you'll have tomorrow. You need that X-factor to add some variance and excitement as well as help you move past the break-up with your girlfriend.

If you really don't feel like making an effort to meet new girls, there are plenty of easy routes to take that require almost no effort at all. Try free online dating sites. Once you get the feeling that women want you and appreciate you, you'll feel that sense of purpose again. Keep an open mind; it's more than just text. From there, you can ride that momentum and eventually try more conventional ways to meet women. You need someone in your life, it's really that simple. A few dinner dates will surely get the juices flowing.

[michitas]

so I mainly need to find someone to share my life with? that's all?

transitioning into my prime...hmm...I feel old now lol

[MrScTi]

Yeah, one thing leads to another. You should also consider buying a puppy or kitten. Not only are they ridiculously cute, they are chick magnets.

[michitas]

I already have a young dog...and she's a beast. and I'd love to have a kitten, but the dog might rip it to pieces... :-(

thanks a lot though! this opened a new perspective for me!

[zickzack]

You "speak" or better saying write like Novalis, one of the main.prophetes of the romanticism.

All romantics feel the pain, when they see the world, and when they loose the magic of the real existence. In a melancholy kind they described the world. The effect of this was mostly, that their creativity with the time is going down, or they changed in realists. The more a person is sensible, the quicker he can suffer at the world, at the life. So it is necessary to be upholstered in your psyche. It is always good to be more or less relaxed. This can happen if you get a little bit distance to a lot of things, persons and situations. Hobbies and friends support this all.

[michitas]

also werde ich je l?nger je mehr ein Realist? ein Romantiker bin ich definitiv...jedoch sehe ich, dass auf dieser Welt nicht mehr wirklich Platz ist f?r wahre Romantik! Was meinst Du mit "je sensibler eine Person ist, desto schneller kann er leiden an der Welt, am Leben"? Bin ich zu sensibel? Ich kriege die Distanz zu Allem nicht hin, oder besser gesagt, ich weiss nicht wie. Ich habe viele Freunde, jedoch habe ich je l?nger je mehr das Gef?hl, dass mich Niemand wirklich versteht. Vielleicht du?

[michitas]

Vielen Dank! Ich werde mir die B?cher auf jeden Fall besorgen :-)! Heisst das, dass junge Menschen also anf?lliger auf romantisches Verhalten sind? Du beziehst Dich auf junge M?dchen und Frauen, also funktioniert der romantische Touch bei ?lteren Frauen nicht mehr (da vielleicht die "Magie" I'm Alter schwindet)?

[RedDareGood]

I have run in to a same problem, Have a good job, good pay. blabla. Had running with a vampire soul sucking witch and i got manipulated only becouse i was too good, kind. Again blabla the whole nine yards. I think the problem is that woman want money security love happiness (i'm not trying to hate on women with this) and think men only want their bodies. While it is true for some people who only enjoy earthly pleasures some men want the same things women want and that is unconditional love. Hurt and abused and confused and watching others having their happy times can really shut down a person and destroy their confidence. Forgive yourself for all the things you think you need forgivness. Let love conquer your mind body and soul. Don't seek it out just open up and watch the "magic" happen.(also English is not my native language so I apologize if there are any grammar errors)

[Anonymous]

"what can I do to make life fun again?

how can I enjoy it all?

how can I see the magical things again that used to make life so enjoyable?"

You need to smoke a blunt man. Life sure gets pretty magical when you smoke a blunt.

[zickzack]

Verdammt, du machst es mir schwer. Seit vielen Jahren besch?ftige ich mich mit der Romantik, bin selbst immer noch ein halber Romantiker, als junger Mensch noch viel mehr. Romantik braucht man eigentlich in der Liebe ( besonders bei jungen M?dchen und Frauen, nachher funktioniert es nicht mehr) und gegen?ber der Natur. Ich empfehle folgende B?cher: "die Schule der Romantik von Heinrich Heine, "sentimentale und naive Dichtung" von Schiller (Kritik)

Lass uns weiter dikutieren,das Thema ist es wert

[zickzack]

Von den B?chern darf ich noch Brentano empfehlen, er ist von den Romantikern wahrscheinlich der

Beste. Ja,im Alter schwindet der romantische Touch, - leider. In der Natur findet man jedoch Magie und Zauber. Besonders ein Aufenthalt in einer W?ste erzeugt diese tollen Gef?hle. Die Sahara wirkte auf mich ?berw?ltigend. Disney hat ?brigens ein sch?nes Buch ?ber die W?ste geschrieben.

[dudeman]

give yourself a goal, how about you progress sting theory that will keep you busy for a good lifetime

[Shaun]

Some people have kids, so they can see the world through a child's eyes again.