I have leukemia. I hate myself I'm dying and I'm a mother

I had a baby when I was 14 and my little girl will be four in a few months and I have leukemia I'm getting weaker each day and I hate the thought I won't see my little girl grow up. I don't know how to cope with the fact that I'm dying and that my daughter will live without a mother for most of her life. I have always taken care of her and I love her so much. This pain in my heart is unbearable please help me

the asker of this question passed away last week, I'm her mother thank you for helping my daughter, I appreciate it


Most Helpful Girl

  • I am so sorry. That has always been my biggest fear with my daughter. I wouldn't give up hope though and I have seen miracles. My friends daughter had leukemia when she was 4. The doctors told her parents that she had no chance to live. Then did chemo on her and she is 8 now and very healthy. If one doctor tells you that they can't help you then go to another and another until you find one who will help you. If I could give you my bone marrow then I would if it was a match. Just prey as much as you can and hope for a miracle. I believe that God has a special place for children who lose their parents. He will take care of her and watch over her together with you until you meet again. Try going to Cancer Treatments of America. I have heard of so many successful stories of people who went there and experienced miracles. Just don't give up and know that God is watching over you and your little girl. You can message me anytime if you want to talk. Take care.

    • my immune system is too weak. and I live in australia I'm scared for my daughter I don't want her to live without me

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    • thank you so much for helping her, she was very fond of you , she told me to tell you sorry that she wasn't gonna make it, she thought of you as a good friend. ill keep using her account to talk to you if you like. little rosie doesn't understand where her mother has disapeared to yet , it hurts when she asks wheres mummy

    • Yes I would love to talk to you and I can only imagine what Rosie is going through because she was very close with her mother. I also know that Rosie love's you very much and that she in the good hand's. If you ever need anything or someone to talk to then please let me know. Take care

What Guys Said 3

  • Dear Little Girl,

    I am really sorry to hear about you. First of all, I wish and will pray for your good health. And, Don't be disappointed. and I hope you will be healthy again, as I myself have seen miracles. and I have heard about the patients who recovered from Leukemia, even at later stage so you will be recovered as well. And you will raise your little doll up by yourself. You just need to have more will power, and say to yourself, you have to live, not for yourself but for your daughter.

    You have to confront the death that, it can't touch you because of your daughter. So instead of hating yourself. just fight with the Leukemia using your will power. The more stronger you are. more you will scared the death. and I hope. there are many people over around you, who love you a lot and are praying for your good health. Hate has never given anything to anybody. but fighting and love can give you a lot. My prayers and best wishes are always with you.

    • thank you. I havde been fighting it for a quite a while now and its exhausting me so I just try to give my little girl good memories incase I don't make it through this

  • My little sister had leukemia but recovered from it. Just have hope.

    • some recover some don't and even my mum says I wont

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    • ill try

    • Rest In Peace

  • Well you just want to do the best you can, no point moping about it. It's hard but I don't see the point in hating yourself.

    • if you wer in my position and you saw the pain in my little girls eyes when she sees me than you might understand . all she wants is me out of the hospital and back home. I hate that because of me my daughter is unhappy

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    • Yeah. :/ x

    • its upsetting. but if I die I want my daughter to be there in my arms if I could just sleep with her in my arms one more time I think I could die peacefuly. but I still do hope to get better

What Girls Said 6

  • There is no need to hate yourself. You need to talk to a counsellor, they can help you more or talk to your doctor. Make arangements for someone you trust to look after and take care of your baby when you're gone. If I was dying and had a baby, I would leave my baby with my mother because I know she'll be in safe hands and with someone I love and trust a great deal. You should leave her with someone you can trust to look after her. Don't feel bad, you can't help it.

    • i will b leaving her with my mum, my mum has her right now while I'm in the hospital. I just hate myself I feel like I'm abandoning my daughter

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    • i will. I just want her to be happy

    • RIP xx

  • don't hate yourself, you already brought your little girl into the world and gave her life, she will always feel your love.

    Also you can prepare, I've heard of a mother who had breast cancer who went out and bought a gift for each of her kids birthdays until they turned 18, and with each present she d recorded a video message for them to play.

    Also In a bizarre coincidence, my cousin had a kid at 16 and also had leukemia, and she survived and is living a very happy life now as a kindergarten teacher.

    • thats a good idea thanks. if my immune system was like A normal persons I wouldn't be so worried of leaving my little girl behind

  • i don't want to sound insensitive, but think about the worst, even if you die you could feel happy that you did good for the ones that live because you have a daughter and she'll be in good care with your mother, and when your mother misses you she'll see your daughter and smile. even though you might be gone, you created another live and your daughter will carry on the live you couldn't live and your mother can see her grow up, so instead of hating yourself, you should be proud.

    Also I know a guy who had Leukemia in his 40's, he was practically dying but he survived, and he's living a healthy live now. so either way. have no regret

  • This is breaking my heart reading this, I'm o sorry and I will pray for you.. St jude is a miracle healer.. He saved me, when I had 5% change of living being born premature and all.. Stay posistive though.. Have an uplifting story for u.. Friend of the family has bone marrow cancer she's at the last of her stage.. Said she was to pass away withi a week.. They gave her new medication.. And she is slowly getting stronger and better as the days go by.. Its amazing really.. I honestly hope this happens for you and your family as well.. :-)

    My aunt claims she prayed for me at least ten times every night for 6months lol

    • thank you. I'm just slowly losing my will to live. my mother doesn't like bringing my daughter to see me. I feel dead already to my family

  • if you live everyday saying "I'm dying" is not going to do much good is it?

    Try waking up everyday saying "I'm hopeful", live each day to the fullest, and be a role model for your little girl and don't let her forget what a good person you are should anything happen..

    Think of it this way..

    Do you want your daughter or everyone around you to remember you as a suffering leukemia patient? Or would you rather have everyone remember you as a brave, hopeful person?

    Good luck, all the best.

    • thanx. I ty to smile...but when my little girl cries to me because I can't go home I feel like a terrible mother for causing her so much hurt

    • you should let her know why you can't go home. I know she is 4.. but having a brave mother, and letting her know what you are undergoing makes her a brave little girl.

    • but I wldnt know what to say to her