Do mirrors lie? or do they really represent reality?

[Anonymous]

i have this psychological condition where I'm afraid of mirrors, they make me self conscious and upset because I hate how I look sometimes, I do use certain mirrors in my house and bathroom that I'm comfortable with because I feel confident of my reflection, but other mirrors like in the mall, stores, doctors office, etc they freak me out because I look at my face and see all the imperfections, hair on my face, a few acne scars, large pores, non-white teeth, etc and it just makes me upset and self conscious.

how do you know which mirror is a good mirror? and how can I overcome this disease?

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

It's not the mirrors that create reality - it's you who creates that reality for yourself.

We can only see in mirrors, what we see in ourselves; our eyes will always capture our every flaw, scar, ugliness, everything negative about ourselves - it's just how we're designed.

But the cool thing about that is - the way we perceive ourselves, is rarely how others do in exact. You may notice all those scars / large pores (which I have by the way too, and I love them - ) but 99% of the time, others either notice them and don't care, or don't notice those things at all.

The most critical, hateful, and self mutilating prick of all - is completely ourselves.

We constantly beat ourselves down, over analyzing, comparing, rejecting, hating and rejecting various aspects of who we are, to gain a perfect image of ourselves that doesn't even exist. Everyone is imperfect, and that imperfection is ultimately what gives everyone their own unique twist.

So the mirrors aren't the enemy - it's you.

Maybe this will help; on every mirror in your home - write something uplifting about yourself. Pick the one mirror you despise the most, take a dry erase marker and write:

" YOU LOOK F***IN SEXY"

In big ass bold letters in the corner - and every time you look in that mirror, keep reading that phrase till it sinks in. It will stick out in your head all day ( you'll probably keep trying to fight it -) but at least it's in your brain. Eventually, you'll begin to see and feel a lot different about yourself, because reality will set in that your f***in sexy every time you walk out that door -

On your other mirrors, think of the things you like most about yourself, or other uplifting things;

" My legs look great"

" I should be a model"

" Does this dress make me look too hot?" :P

Little things like that.

You have to fight that wicked voice in your head filling you with doubt, and power over your insecurities, as they will limit you at every turn.

And come to terms that you have flaws - I mean completely to terms - as in, accepting them. Big pores can't be changed no matter how much you exfoliate, a lot of girls get random facial hair, scars are hard to get rid of, some people just don't have pearly white teeth - but so the f*** what? You are who you are, flaws and all.

Mirrors reveal the truth in what we think of ourselves - the corrupted / or non corrupted reality we create for ourselves -

And only YOU can change that...

[Asker]

thank you

[india101]

i agree with the thinking positive stuff about yourself: people respond positively when your happy. chances are that if you think your hot, others will find you just as hot, or even hotter

[india101]

As most of the guys put it, the pshyco thing? Yeah that's not true. Well not completely. This is a girl thing. Every girl at one point in their life goes through this, some early other later on.

it's not the mirror that;s the problem, it;s the lighting. For me, I love looking at myself in my bathroom mirror because the light there makes my skin seem to glow. (wow conceited much? lol).

Along with lighting, your self esteem is also a problem. Get over it. Acne goes away, I should know cause I had major acne a while back, and now my skin is 98% back to normal and looking as gorgus as ever (yeah I'm conceited haha). For the teeth, brush your teeth 2x a day, it does wonders. Crunchy fruits and vegetables help (i.e. apple, celery). Drink 8 glasses of water everyday! Find creams and masks that work for your skin. I like to put nature based products. Exfoliate the skin once a week.

Look online and/or ask your mom for other beauty tips.

And remember you look beautiful. You even said that : "because I hate how I look sometimes". So that means that you must like your face other times, right? Stick with that. Try looking at your self from a strangers POV. It's hard to be critical after that.

Another thing, looks aren't everything. Try worrying about other stuff, like school and the people in your life. K? Good luck!

[india101]

also look at actresses and models. Look for a fault and see if it makes a difference in their beauty. Most likely not. It's the same with you and everyone else.

[Asker]

ty!

[jrose]

Ok, so it's not the mirror that's the problem, it's how you see yourself. A mirror (any mirror) is just a reflection of what's there- but the kicker is that you don't see exactly what's there, it's analysed through your self-perception and you focus on specific things (like your non-white teeth) rather than seeing other things (your eyes, smile, cheek bones etc). I think most of us have the problem of not liking what we see in the mirror sometimes, it sounds like you have it a lot more often though. I think you need to learn how to look for the things you DO like about yourself and see them when you look in the mirror. My only suggestion is to consciously focus on the things you like about yourself when you're confronted by a "bad" mirror. Do you like your eyes, your lips, your cheeks, your hair? Figure out what it is you like and when you start to feel down about the imperfections, cancel each out with one of the things that makes your face pretty.

And, 2 things to remember- nobody is as critical of every little detail as you are, we're all our own worst critics. And EVERYONE has an imperfect face- it's what makes you unique and sets you apart from the hundreds of other faces out there.

[Asker]

ty!

[Anonymous]

NO MIRROR Is accurate.

Its called a mirror for a reason, It Mirrors you, Every detail and feature is mirrored. Human faces when split down the center are two different sides. When we look at another persons face humans almost Always ( science proven ) we look to the left first.

If we split the face in half and copy one side to the other we look like a whole new person, and it actually looks extremely weird. So if our face is mirrored then we arnt use to seeing the Opposite side of our face. Its kind of weird But other people know what we look like better than we do ourselves.

try it out. Take a photo in the mirror of your face and such, Open a photo program, I use Photoshop and Flip the image ( mirror it ) and you will get the actual image. Its a weird concept to grasp, I use to draw a lot in the mirror.

[What-do-I-know]

You're being WAY too overcritical of yourself.

Here's a good example of what you wrote. "a few acne scars" your bummed out over a "few" acne scars?

Can you afford to have your teeth whitened? That's an easy fix.

Everything can be addressed with the right makeup, waxing & whiting.

Use only the mirrors that you like & the ones that you don't like in a store just look at the outfit. No need to dwell on your face. Your buying an outfit.

All in all when you do go to the mall & see the unfortunate kid in a wheelchair or ones with birth defects were pretty damn lucky aren't we.

Talk to your Dr. to see if he/she can tell you who to talk to so that you can focus on the positive things.

[Asker]

thank you, that's great advice! ill try my best from now, and I didn't mean to offend anyone or try to act superficial I've just had low esteem my whole life been through ups and downs

[starrydaisy]

I'm somehow like you but I'm aware that this is just the brain that tricks you. You're the one who always look at the mirror and you're self-conscious of the flaws on your body. And you tend to focus on those flaws when you look into the mirror, checking out whether they look obvious on that particular mirror. In this kind of situation I always have thoughts like 'eww I hate my lips sticking out, why can't my nose be a little higher?' and stuff like that.

But I can tell you that almost 99% of people simply don't care! They're not aware or conscious of the flaws like the way you do. And different people hold different perceptions to your image. You may think your nose looks weird but others might that it looks cute. Yeah my eyes are small (and I hate that) but there are always people who think small eyes look better. :P

[madmisskelly]

Mirrors don't lie, but your body image does.

For many people, me included, we see the same pieces of the puzzle that everyone else does. However, those puzzle pieces often make a completely different pictures to the individual than the picture that other people view.

When you look in the mirror, you may focus on your stomach, your thighs, but other people might be focusing on something completely different.

That being said, mirrors in general are polished metal. They can be warped, worn, and are subject to poor lighting. Every mirror will be different.

[queenofpeen]

Not all mirrors are the same, but I think a lot of what you see in the mirror is affected by your own mind. Mirrors don't often lie, but your brain can. When some people look in the mirror, their flaws are suddenly amplified and it distorts reality. I think it does a lot of good to work on having self-esteem that's independent from what you see in the mirror.

[tcbtutus96]

no... not all mirrors are the same... (im a ballet dancer, there are mirrors everywhere). I've come to realize that there are "fat mirrors" and "skinny mirrors". I guess its just the way that they are made but all the mirrors in the studios are different. so I wouldn't judge your body just by looking in the mirror. maybe take a pic with a camera because I don't think cameras lie...?

[Dan2287]

I actually find the mirrors with dimmer lights make me look better than ones with tons of lighting. I have the same problem as you to a certain extent because I'm always having to look in a mirror every hour to see how I look. If I'm unhappy with it ill try frantically to make myself look better in that mirror

[DallasTexasGirly]

im the same way as you, like in my house I look in certain mirrors because it makes me look good, I think at malls and stuff the lighting is so bad and that's what makes me not like looking in the mirror.

[Asker]

SAME especially makeup stores or even in restaurants the bathroom mirrors put a frown on my face

[DallasTexasGirly]

yeah maybe its cause were use to the certain lighting, I also hate taking photos unless I have the ability to delete them.

[colt1819]

Yeah some mirrors make you look different. I think a mirror that is closer to sunlight will give the most accurate representation of how you look.

[Asker]

how do you know if a mirror is closer to sunlight? I'm not sure what you mean

[colt1819]

Do you have mirror in your room and a window? Open up the curtains and let some sunlight into the room. I think regular lighting distorts your true appearance. That is why at night people look much younger than they do during the day.

Also when you see certain flaws in the mirror it is probably multiplied by the type of esteem you have. Obsessing over certain parts of your body will probably make things appear worse than they really are. Look at girls who become anorexic, some are already thin

[Anonymous]

no mirror is completely accurate. the way you described your situation sounds like it's a serious psychological problem. I am sure you are much better looking than you "imagine" yourself being by looking at your reflection. really it's a psychological thing. I feel bad that you have this problem. please seek counseling

[martyfellow]

Mirrors mostly distort the image, depending on the angle of the light...

[Voltaire]

I think mirrors in stores are designed to make you look better, actually. Which is to say, skinnier.

Might be wrong on that, though.

[colt1819]

I think it would be better if they made you uglier, since customers would be more prone to buy.

[Voltaire]

Be more prone to buy things that make them look ugly? Don't know about that.

[colt1819]

Buy things that make them look better. If you come in and think you are ugly then you buy something that will make you feel more attractive.

[Voltaire]

Maybe. I have no idea.

[Asker]

i actually have had the opposite experience, the mirrors in stores in malls and stuff make me look uglier so may be your theory is right that they do it to make us buy more products.

[WoIIie]

I remember hating to look in store mirrors because it made me look ugly. Maybe that's just me.

[Voltaire]

I might have had it backwards, then. Not exactly an uncommon occurrence for me.

[udolipixie]

Some mirrors lie...kind of like Myspace Angles.

Seems like your issue isn't mirrors but possibly body dysmorphic disorder.

Instead of looking for a good mirror look for a good therapist.

[Belgie]

Yeah, this isn't normal behavior or thinking at all.

You should see a good psychologist or therapist,

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

They don't lie but hey no one is perfect and its just minor things its not like you have ugly warts on your face

[dudeman]

i think they lie a bit because they don't show you curvature its just like a 2-d

[dIO_oIb]

It all depends on the angle and the lighting.

[Xander]

Mine are all cracked

[Asker]

:O bad luck?

[Xander]

How many years of bad luck is 17 cracked mirrors?