Why is it when a girl says "you're nice" or "you're sweet" it is NEVER good?

[Anonymous]

Seriously, I've heard it more times than I want to admit. It's the kiss of death, pretty much, when a girl says something like "you're nice" or "you're a sweet guy." Why? And how do I stop being a nice guy?

[Anonymous]

No. Women like guys they think are nice or sweet. But they also like guys they're sexually attracted to. Niceness and sexual attraction have nothing to do with each other. Step up your game: learn to flirt, work out, fix your eyebrows or hair...whatever.

It's like ... A guy appreciates a woman who can cook, but he's not gonna marry a chick he doesn't want to bone, even if she makes filet minon every night.

[Asker]

Okay.

[Anonymous]

This might sound bad but don't give them all of your attention because it makes you too available. This means ignoring them a bit, not so much so that you seem uninterested but look like you are busy and have other things on your mind apart from them.

[NoOneListens21]

be opposite of yourself? lol. Honestly, why stop being a nice guy. nice guys are so sweet. You want a chick to like you and not in a friend way act like her dad.

[Asker]

The only girls that go for me are high schoolers who think I'm way hotter than their 17 year old classmates, 30 year olds who think I'm so mature and endearing, and girls my own age who are very homely.

[NoOneListens21]

lol 30's - hot. hahah. well I mean what can I say, it shouldn't be an issue of age but an issue of who is right for you. I think it's amazing that you're a nice guy and sweet. You shouldn't want to change that. it's a great quality. but if you really want to be like every other jerk out there...by all means...go ahead.

[Asker]

I don't want to be a jerk... I just don't want to be "nice" anymore.

[NoOneListens21]

Why? Honestly, what's so wrong with being nice?

[Asker]

Because a "nice guy" is always the guy girls want to have as a friend, never as a boyfriend.

[NoOneListens21]

I know but it's not always the case. I mean wouldn't you want someone to accept you for who you are - well...if you're a jerk then I don't think they should. but if you are nice, that's something to be happy about that you are kind and sweet enough to take time and listen to a girl and actually want to help her.

I know this really sweet girl and she met this really shy cute nice guy. they're really happy with one another well she wasn't happy with her Valentine's day present but um that's not the

[NoOneListens21]

point...lol. the point is they found one another. haha.

[Asker]

I know it sounds weird, but seriously, being nice means friends. Not boyfriend, except rare cases. It's happened multiple times--I try to be kind and nice and a pleasure to deal with, and girls end up telling me how nice I am and they're nice back--but then I get a *laugh* or a dodge if I ask them out.

[NoOneListens21]

Sounds like someone needs to be a little bit more dominate. lol. If you're a guy, I wouldn't sit there and hold a box of kleenex so to speak I'd give her short straight to the point advice. Tell her, you know you only want a guy who treats you badly so I honestly don't know why you're so upset. hahaha.

[Anonymous]

For a girl to actually consider a guy as boyfriend material, sexual attraction to him pretty much always comes before personality. Being nice doesn't get her motor running, being dominant and good looking does. Hence, being handsome and taking control is much more important than being nice.

Most girls won't stay with a guy that isn't nice, but no girl will even consider a guy she's not attracted to.

[Snar87]

You're nice is never good. It's almost always the kiss of death.

You're sweet depending context, could be bad or good. If it's not your girlfriend, it's often bad.

Tip: Don't kiss up to them. Chivalry all the time is a big no-no.

[Asker]

Seven answers and you're the only one that actually understand's what I learned through experience--thank you.

[Snar87]

When it comes to women, action speaks louder than words. They say whatever they want to make you feel better about yourself, but at the end of the day they want a challenge and you aren't getting those panties. They want to feel like they earned gifts from a man and earned his chivalry. It's like playing basketball and they gave your team a 60 point lead at the start. You won, but you aren't happy because your team was given 60 points at the start.

[dafbtexas]

Welcome to the club. Nice guys get treated like shit. If my emotional scars caused by girls were to manifest into physical scars, I'd appear as a burn victim. I do not intend to undermine the serious of burn victims, it's only an analogy that illustrates how I feel if one could see my feelings.

[Deft_maiden]

Be a good man. Honest, decent, not a player and ull go far. Never mind the labels.

[Asker]

That's just it--it really seems girls don't want guys who act "respectful" and "nice" and "honest."

[Deft_maiden]

Girls are like boys. Most don't know what they want. But the smart level headed mature ones do. You just got to find her. I know it's hard same goes for women.

[ilovecookies]

I think it depends on the girl, when I say it, it probably means that I have a crush on you...

[7gnat]

Why would you want to not be a nice guy anymore? It is a compliment especially when someone you love says that to you that loves you. Nice guys do not finish last. Be confident and you will be fine

[Anonymous]

It's always good in my book. but don't confuse nice guy with the good guy. The nice guy is not something I want to date. The good guy is.

[bel42]

that's always good in my book. You don't need to change.

[Asker]

Lol, what I do ends in failure and "you're a nice guy I want to be friends" so while I appreciate the pat on the back, I obviously do need to change. Drastically.

[Anonymous]

its not because that there are some girls who said "u are nice" then you are nice ! ;) ...

hope you get !

good luck