Would you stay with your girlfriend if she went blind?

Question

when I was 18 I was diagnosed with an eye disease similar to macular degeneration. it was horrible at first but some how it went away a little and my Dr couldn't explain it. OK, I recently just got on really strong meds and for some reason it came back ten fold and I can barely see, I can barely see what I am typing and the only way I can read the computer screen is I have to zoom as much as I can lol. I was told I may go completely blind (yay! jk) my boyfriend said he wouldn't leave me but I'm so scared he will because for reason one, I can't walk a lot and need a wheel chair for long distances, and for two, my eyesight, I'm afraid I won't be able to try to look nice for him and I'll look even worse and turn him off and he'll find someone prettier =(. guys, would you stay with your girl if you bwere in this situation?> thank you

Red_Arrow · Accepted Answer

I don't totally agree with jacksparrow55, but most of what he says is exactly right. I speak from experience, both in my immediate family, and with friends.

There are a whole lot of things that come up that most of these guys ignore. The obvious is that life with such a person is quite different from life with a "normal" person. When a spouse has incurable cancer, you are facing that person's death, but also being caretaker to a person that is diminishing daily. You will have to clean up poop and vomit because they could not make it to the bathroom during their bad periods. You will have to take care of their special dietary needs. You will have to take time off from work to take your spouse to appointments, and to stay at home with them during times of need if you can't get help to come in. You may also have to care for your parents and theirs as those parents age. The stresses are immense and your job may not allow so much leniency.

I know many couples who have remained healthy, but have a child become disabled with illness. Though they loved each other, many cannot cope with the stresses presented and end up divorced. Then you have just one parent trying to care for the child.

Blindness is not as debilitating as cancer, but it still presents many problems, especially as you are just learning how to deal with the problems. Live on a street with no sidewalks? Want to walk in the street blind? Busy streets to cross? Need to learn to read braille? You can no longer drive yourself anywhere - someone else needs to do it.

Most people think they can give up a lot to live a different life with a disabled person, but so many just can't really cut it. Trouble is, too many people find out the truth after taking on the commitment. Finding out then can mess up a couple of lives (or more).

Now, personally, I can answer that yes, I have stayed with my wife and am happy for it. As a young single guy, I would hope that I could manage to stay in a relationship with a woman who had a disability that took a lot of my time, but that she had already learned to live with it. I am not so sure that I would be so strong if she was still learning to cope herself, though I think I would. But from what I have seen, for life threatening disabilities, most people will not cope well. Odds should be better for blindness, though.

stubbsy · Accepted Answer

Absolutely, it wouldn't be her fault and if I was in love with her, nothing could change my feelings for her, she could lose her face and limbs, but as long as her personality and charm and charisma was in tact, I would always remain in love with her, I would never leave my girlfriend to deal with something like that alone and just because it got hard my feelings for her would never change, only shallow idiots who show their cowardly wimpish attitude would ever even think of it, good luck, I hope it clears up again and your well soon,x

nomadia · Accepted Answer

look this is my honest opinion, most people would say they would stay but its not that easy.  everything changes. he might stay then again he may not.  being with a 'special person' has its challenges because when you go blind you'll need him more than ever, and the adjustment is tough because you went blind you weren't born that way. there will be times when you feel so depressed maybe angry and he'll have to deal with it, at first you'll be all needy and with such a sudden change it will be tough to adjust so fast.  so it not just about you its about him too because not only will your life change, so will his. sometimes you may get frustrated and you will wonder if he still finds you pretty, or if his love for you is fading, but don't worry the fact that he is still there shows how much he cares and if he stays how much he loves you.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm almost blind without my glasses and when I was in school, my boyfriend at the time, held my hand and walked me everywhere after they broke[couldn't get the new pair in for another week]. All of his friends liked the idea that he would do that for his girlfriend and said they would do the same for theirs if they had to. Guys like to feel needed just as much as girls do, so I think most people would stay with their SO if they went blind.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If he truly cares about you, none of this should matter to him. Yes, people who go through something horrible others may flee and some may stay. Certain things are hard to ask from some people but when it's love regardless of how hard or demanding they'll find a way if they truly want to.

Yeahhbro · Answer

Having somebody with a disability is muvh more complicated than what people think...i don't think these guys have any idea of what having a girl like that would be like. I mean not only because of the amount of work that it would take to have a girl like that (if she is blind, she will need a lot of help to move around, specially around the city...) or the social stigma that comes with it (I wonder how comfortable they will be with somebody like that and everybody staring at them). People with a disability also need more emotional support, specially if they are going to something as difficult as getting their disability just recentlty. Also they wouldn't be able to do the same things for fun, for instance, they couldn't go to the clubs per say, I mean you could listen to the music, but remember that there are a lot of people are there and people bump into you all the time, it gets really difficult. I don't think guys know how much work it would date and take care of somebody like that.

I kew a girl who I really liked, she had osteorcoma, which is bone cancer in her leg, she had to go through a lot of sh*t, I am talking about psychological councelling, chemotherapy and etc, at the time she had a boyfriend...gues what happened? He broke up with her, he couldn't take it, he couldn't imagine how difficult it was having somebody like that as a girlfriend. It was very difficult seen her very skinny, with no hair and really weak in her house or a hospital, which in a sense its reasonable even if you think he is an asswhole, you guys should put yourself in his shoes.

Unfortunatelly the girl died, she had homeostasis and the cancer went to her lungs, so the doctors couldn't do anything for her.

Its a really sad story, but hey man, that is how life is. If any body think I am an ass, just ask yourself if you would date a girl with Spania Fibia or if she has Dwarfism, they would lie and say yes when in fact they won't.

Its a truly difficult situtation for both parties, but the only way a guy would truly love a girl with a disability its only if he truly its able to put that much effort. Love ain't good enough, marriages break up, relationships come and go...love isn't good enough, love comes and goes...Its a true test.

In my situation I would say truly I wouldn't know if I would stay or not. I can't say until I was in that actual situation. In the case of the girl with cancer...it would be a true test, I would try really hard but I wouldn't know if I would keep being with her forever or not... Seen her mutilated every day would be difficult, not because I am shallow, but simply because she would be just too different from a normal girl you know?

WeaponZero · Answer

This is the second question you've posted regarding having serious health problems that you're worried might stand in the way of you continuing your relationship. I have to be honest with you.

I probably wouldn't allow myself to get close initially to a girl who had a laundry list of health problems like that. But if they weren't, say, "pre-existing conditions" LOL and I didn't find out about them or they didn't develop until way later on, it certainly wouldn't stop me. You already had my heart by that point. And by then I'm in for keeps.

ryanrhino · Answer

You being blind would NOT be a deal breaker for me.

What would be the deal breaker would be how YOU deals with your lose of eyesight.

If you can keep a positive attitude for most days and just be comfortable with who you are, then I'm sure he'll still care about you, possibly even more.

It's not how you look, but how you feel about yourself that matters to me. That being said, I'm not blind and I still have issues trying to look nice ;P

cavmanier · Answer

I won't give you some politically correct answer. It's hard to answer a hypothetical question but I know I love my girlfriend a lot and if she was going through this I would still want to be with her. Whoever your with you both will have to learn to over come the issues you have. There are always problems coming up through life and this is just one of many. One thing I would say though is if you do become blind and he has to do a lot more for you, you need to be able to do things for him in someway to let him know that you appreciated him in order to make sure he doesn't build up resentment over time.

Cenarius · Answer

As you see from all the other responses, You won't be left alone, so I won't repeat the comforting words as others are surely better at it:)

However, If I were in your position, I would save money and travel around the world as soon as possible and see places/things I've always wanted to see - especially with the one I care most about... In addition, I'd start learning to play my favorite music instrument since that doesn't require vision.

Best of luck with your condition and keep in mind we're living in an age not too far away from understanding how to reconstruct eyesight and make people see again.

1mark2 · Answer

k to be frank I won't say OK no problem and these stuff ...

but the thing is that if I love a girl (I mean really love her) then she turns blind I'll keep loving her ... in fact I'll care for her more

i mean man I wanted to live the rest of my life with the girl and still will ... no matter what happens to her she's still the same nice girl that I always loved :)

this is TRUE LOVE ... even if it's hard to deal with ... if he loves you ... he will keep doing so ;)

SixStringSeal · Answer

If you love the person then it shouldn't be a problem. Everyone has their faults and most physical problems aren't anything compared to the personality related ones. It might take a lot of getting used to but there is a great person out there for everyone. Just gotta get out of the house sometimes to find them :P

AllDay · Answer

I would say yes only if he loves you

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Anonymous · Answer

I've read enough of your questions/posts to know that you are:

a) Ridonculously hot

b) Have a super cool personality

c) Are laid back

d) Have a cool sense of humor

e) Have fun hobbies/interests

f) Intelligent

I can't speak for every girl. But if it were you it wouldn't stop me one bit given that you have all those things going for you.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm the a**hole that voted no because I thought the question was "Would you leave your girlfriend if she went blind?"  I would never do that and any guy that would doesn't deserve you in the first place.

ecologist · Answer

I think if you are truly in love you should overcome these sorts of things. A good friend of mine had a severe injury when he was caught in a forest fire at about 20 years of age many years ago. He had just started dating his girlfriend (who is now his wife) and he almost died (with 90% burns to his body), but his wife stayed by him through that time. So if love is meant to be it will be.

Whistling_Dixie · Answer

You know, there is a Ukrainian or Russian saying ( I don't remember which one) that goes like this: " In tough times, that's when you find who your real friends are". You see, when things are good, it is easy for everyone to be nice a kind to each other. But when things go wrong, the ones who stick with you are your real friends.

In a way your condition may be a blessing. It forces God honest truth out of everyone around you.

Distant · Answer

There's a similar disease that runs in someone families called "Stargardt disease" where all the females have a high chance to be inflicted with it and all males carry the gene. Everyone I know with this disease has no problem finding a partner, living a normal life and having children. You'll be fine.

itsthatguy · Answer

Yea why not? If I loved her and she loved me before she went blind. Than what's changed in our love after? Nothing, I would stay with her forever.

If you have the chance to watch another movie, watch "Ray Charles".

RaphaelRossi · Answer

come on, you are tottaly cute! if he doesn't stay with you, I will! :D

awaken03 · Answer

keeping it real means standing up for your true feelings for a person regardless if you go blind or not..even most would think that going blind would be a burden..i will choose to stay..

Anonymous · Answer

you have about as good a chance as a rich guy going broke, but keeping his girlfriend. take it for what you want.

Anonymous · Answer

The blindness itself would not be the determining factor.  Having known many people who have become disabled in one way or another during my life, I know that many people who become disabled in the middle of their lives often become less pleasant to be around (angrier because of frustration, irritable because of helplessness, rudeness because they're the victim, etc).  If she became an unpleasant person to be around, then I would definitely leave.

GuyAdviceFromGuy · Answer

I wouldn't leave you If I loved you.   If your boyfriend leaves you, he probably never loved you in the first place. And you deserve better.

thezeldafier · Answer

if I loved her then yes, if not then I would leave, but you'll find a boyfriend who loves you (if you haven't already) and I would even start going out with a blind girl if I liked her. But that's just me.

Would you stay with your girlfriend if she went blind?

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