Why are women so competitive and mean to one another?

[Anomoly10]

So I was out \with a bunch of women that I had just met at a bar in

a quaint town in Norcal. All of us were pretty. Two of us were late 30s. Other girls were mid 20's. One girl was really trying to dominate the conversation and she did. She was trying really hard to be alpha female. Actually I have never met a woman who tried so hard to be macho and outrageous...sharing many a raunchy story...and pics...I felt tension in that she felt she needed to be top dog...I notice people like to brag out here...and people were

trying to keep up with her...I notice people will also say mean things about other people that they may have just spoke with...

She did this. Oh and I ordered a wine and the bartender brought the whole table(4 of us) wines...and I was surprised and flattered.

I just said this never happens to me. She said what did you do flash your nipple? OK I laughed it off once but not a classy comment...yet she kept going with this...like she couldn't believe I could get us free drinks just being me and not being raunchy...

Then the other girl jumped in on this...I think she wanted her to like her. Other girl looked like Amanda Seyfried. It felt a little like

"Mean Girls"//the movie...popular girls are mean and hyper-competitive. She couldn't accept something nice just happened to me...but then again maybe she gets free stuff for sluttiness.

I knew this girl only a little while and had been shown a pic of her butt,with whip lashes on it...from Folsom St Fair...it;s a S and M thing in San Fran. She also whipped out a peeing contraption from her purse that hikers use I guess,never seen one...and she exclaimed I have a chubby p****. Oh and she was at the table talking of a good meal and loudly saying, I creamed my [pants! Mind you we were at a family friendly restaurant bar in San Mateo...not San Francisco while she's doing this...and while at first she seemed cool...it was clear she

wanted to push the envelope on being outrageous. Oh and when Amanda Seyfried didn't touch her wine..also she was driving...I wasn't I asked could I have a bit of her wine...the wine I got us for free and she gave me a snarky look and said go for it.

As we were winding down I had the wine and another drink and

raunchy girl reached out for my drink when said I had better hurry.

She reached out like I am entitled and I held on to it, and she gave me a dirty look saying you are going to drink both...ok! She already had her free wine and I scored it for everyone. I had a rough week and wanted my darn free wine. Whatevs. Earlier in the week an ex friend/neighbor called me a Bitch. Low class...

This because I was sharing a story of something that bothered me in my room-mate situation. She h\as said many judgmental things and also does the bragging one upping thing. I won't hang with her again. Is this what girls do now...to feel better...

Is it because they are desperate to get a man or have friends. I think

it is a sign of insecurity. Is life just a continuation of high school?

[dIO_oIb]

I think it's definitely a sign of insecurity also. The majority of women are highly insecure and view other women, who they might consider "better", as competition. Think of Darwin's survival of the fittest; if a woman who think of herself is with another woman who they might consider better they have to take her out. If they don't take down the competition then they can't get a guy as long as that other girl (who they think is better than them) is there.

A woman who is completely assured of herself does not have this problem because she realizes the concept of perception.

[genevieve]

I've never been round a girl like you described but I think a lot of girls get quite competetive when it gets to getting the 'good guys' but I would think that goes away when most of us get older and are in relationships.

Generally I would things those things get better the older you get, the girl you described sounded pretty young

[Anomoly10]

She was about 24...yes...so that is young, but old enough to know better. I mean she was college educated and all...had some job at an architecture firm...not that these are barometers of class.I shop at a grungy goodwill where women have more class and taste. Money doesn't buy class...social status or rank doesn't equate with class. I think it is a San Fran thing perhaps

to act outrageous...This girl was taking joy in repulsing families. I believe there is a time and place for things.

[Anonymous]

wow I just read your entire story and I'm sure not all women are like that. I"m a woman and I"m definitely not like that at all. I don't make too many friends but the people who I am friends with are really nice and are not like that at all!

[Anomoly10]

I have been trying to get out and meet people and I am just surprised how some women act...

I don't think this girl is representative of all women at all...to be quite sure I never met anyone like

her. I guess she was just trying really hard to appear cool...I am not a prude and I like a saucy joke. She was just trying really hard and pushing the raunchiness factor. I think we live in a more sex saturated time where I hear random raunchiness out here in SF. I am moving to Pa.

SF I am so over u!

[Anonymous]

i only read half of your story...i get the gist of it though. sounds like you're hanging out with stupid catty bitches. try to escape that social scene before it gets worse. they can do things like blackmail you, blackball you, talk crap and try to ruin your life.

not all women are like this...some are extreme though. just get out of toxic situations, it's not worth it at all

[Anomoly10]

You are right...I have been surrounded by drama-mamas...These girls were just catty. I had another friend who had a lot of problems including Vicodin habit and she was always preaching to me about

various things...even caused a scene and aired my personal business in a restaurant. She was

and is toxic and I cut her out of my life. There are simply very few genuine people in SF...

I am sure they're out there... but there is a focus on money ans status out here...and less

focus on wholesome things.

[AndyWes]

It's like that woman said in "The Next Three Days". Women are genetically wired to compete with each other. They get along best with men, not with other women.

[toulouse]

People say men are competitive with each other- and men get along better with other men.

So now you are saying women are competitive with each other-so they get along better with other men.

Or are you saying men get along with women, and women get along better with men. >i mean following your logic, that would be the only way it would make sense.

[AndyWes]

Point is, woman have more problems with each other than guys have with other guys or guys have with girls. Men get along with other guys easier overall than women do with other girls.