How can I tell if a girl is avoiding me?

[spencers94]

I was at a dance on Saturday (high school) and this girl that I met at school over a month ago at another dance was continually asking me if I was going to go to the dance that night. I told her yes and that I would be there soon since it already started and was only 20 minutes into it. Then she texted me and told me to text her back once I got there. So, I did and told her that there was a line out the door and that I'd be inside in about 5-10 minutes. Once I was in, I texted her, asking her where she was, because it was inside our gym and there were a lot of people in groups. Finally, I found her and asked her if she wanted to dance. She said, "Um...maybe in a little bit." After that, I felt kind of awkward, as if she didn't want to be around, even though she was ecstatic about seeing me at the dance. NOTE: When I met her, at the dance over a month ago, we danced then, so I felt comfortable to ask her to dance this time, and believe it or not, she asked me to dance initially at the previous dance. Anyways, I let her chat with her friends and gave her plenty of time until she was ready to dance, and I walked around the gym to meet up with my other friends. Then about 20 minutes after that, she texted me, telling me to come and dance with her. We danced to 2 songs, (grinding, because everybody else was and that's what most high schools do) and then she stopped dancing with me after that. So I assumed that she just wanted to take a break, so I, again, walked around to hangout with my other friends. I walked back to her about 20 minutes after that and asked her if she wanted to dance some more. Her friends were giving me some awkward looks and she looked up at me and smiled in me in a kind of annoyed or grossed out manner and said, "Oh, no thank you!" I walked away and never went back to her after that and just hung around with my friends for the remainder of the dance. What could this possibly mean because she was excited to see me and dance with me and then she just rejected me. I wasn't being pushy with her, I gave her space and let her say what she had to say and didn't interject. So, what is the deal here?

[HandwrittenTexts]

Could be embarassment. Her friends I'm sure are not bad people, but it's easier to find faults with someone else's grinding's suggestiveness then with your own and the person you go out with. Could be she would've preferred space in an entirely different place- either away from her friends' gazes or away from the dance floor. If you're only interested in doing the naughty dancing, you haven't progressed from the initial flirt stage, meaning nothing important has developed between your meeting and now. I totally see how you think that was space- really! But it's tricky not making the wrong impression on a girl's girlfriends.

Problem: Part of her thinks you really might only want to dance dirty. You didn't stick around = you weren't enjoying her company without physical contact.

Solution: Go do something with her and her friends (not with even number boys, girls. One other guy is probably best unless there are a lot of girls.) This works best because it subconsciously reassures her friends and her that you don't need to be alone, just you two, everyone partnered off, to have fun with her. And it insinuates you approve of her friends as people. When at another party, hang around with them, and your bros, don't get caught up in keeping them seperate. She's not opposed to dancing with you, either, but go slow, work your way up to the part of the night that you dance together. You don't steal your girlfriend away from her father asking her to dance, you make polite chit chat. Female bonds of friendship are just as dangerous as a father's approval with provocation.

[spencers94]

Thank you for the helpful answer. I see what you mean as far as dancing dirty with her, but just so you don't get the wrong idea, I do not view women as sex objects in any way. Since everybody else was dancing in the same way, she wanted me to come over to her and dance in that manner. She even grabbed my hands and placed them on her hips. I let her control me.

[HandwrittenTexts]

And don't get me wrong, I don't think you were in the wrong, just oblivious to how it MIGHT be viewed by some girls (and especially their friends.) Personally, I don't see anything wrong with what you did, but chaos (aka drama) can ensue over anything, even if misconstrued.

I hope you can settle the waters, though :] Tactful fixing

[spencers94]

Yeah, that makes sense now.

[Whipporwill]

https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=BiBFHSdmhrM

[spencers94]

Thanks for the feedback, but it seems like this girl was actually interested and then all of a sudden, like in the video, she closed herself off.

[Whipporwill]

Yeah, sometimes us guys like to think that we lost a girl in our mind, and in reality she could still be interested, but patience and believeing you can get her, will help you be ready when the time is right, to say the right words and win her heart. Remeber, confidence in a man is the most attractive feature a guy can show towards a girl.

[spencers94]

That's perfect! Thanks. :)