Why are women so self-righteous?

[Anonymous]

I'm always amazed at how women seem to genuinely believe they are the nice ones and men the a**holes. Do you girls understand that you are delusional and sexist to think that way?

I recall someone had posted a link to a video showing women hitting guys in public (actors) and most women witnessing the scene weren't saying a thing and assuming the guys deserved it. The other way around is of course called abuse by any sane person.

That propention to immediately see and label guys as guilty and girls as innocent victims seems to be deeply anchored in women psyche and it bewilders me.

So people, enlighten me. Why are guys always accused of being the a**holes? Don't women understand or recognize that they are just as guilty as men are?

So many girls say: He was nice but then turned a complete a**hole.

But, girls, does it even register that it's possible he was indeed an a**hole, but it's just as likely that he only mirrored your bitchiness right back at you? Does it ever cross your mind?

[heavenonearth]

Well, I don't think that way, and I know several other women on this site and in real life who don't either. It's not okay to hit anyone unless it's in self-defense. I do see what you mean by peoples' propensity to label guys as guilty and girls as innocent victims, but I'd say it's ingrained as deeply in the minds of some men as it is in some women. Many people believe you should never retaliate against a woman, no matter what she does to you. It's not right, but the only thing you can do is argue against that way of thinking and hope it clicks at some point.

The reason for it is probably because women are seen as fragile and delicate, whereas people associate men with strength and toughness. In their minds it plays out as the strong overpowering the weak, probably because they don't see women as capable of being threatening, which is false of course.

The "He was nice but then turned a complete a**hole" line is probably coming from women who got burned in a relationship and they're speaking out of anger, which is understandable. There are many different situations in which girls will say that, and some of them are justified while others aren't. A guy may seem charming and nice at first, but later in the relationship becomes more controlling and irrationally jealous, eventually leading to abuse--that kind of guy is an a**hole, and a women saying he was nice but then turned out to be an a**hole is only speaking the truth.

Of course, I'm sure in many other cases it's definitely possible that a guy was only being an a**hole because she was being a bitch, but it's common for people (both guys and girls) to blame other people first before considering that some of the fault lies with them. Again, not right, but that's the way many people think.

[yougotwhatineed]

Why are you so self-righteous that you think that you get to make generalizations about women doing the same thing you are, but are exempt from hypocrisy?

want to know why girls think guys are a**holes? I, being a girl, think you are being an a**hole to assume that I am intrinsically sexist, delusional, ignorant, hypocritical and bitchy. I'm not saying that YOU are an a**hole, I'm calling out your behavior.

I don't think men are a**holes, I think a**holes are a**holes. I don't think girls are bitches, I think bitches are bitches. People can also

Why do you think that all girls have the 'victim' role ingrained in our psyche? Because of years of patriarchal oppression used to control women and keep them docile. Even after society has evolved to the point where men and women are *generally* equal, as women we sabotage ourselves! Many of us don't care enough about ourselves to be self sufficient, we accept traditional gender roles because it's easier than carrying our own groceries. I've decided not to think this way, but many of my friends and family are stuck inside it. Men also preserve this notion as it balances out their 'tough manliness'

You're welcome. Go smile or something.

[magnoliacrush]

I see your point and I understand the frustration. The only explanation I'm able to give you is that women are extremely social beings. They need to voice their opinion/feelings. While compared to men, they rather analyze the situation quietly and handle it on their own. So that leads to women assuming things because of the lack of communication. Now, I'm not blaming the men but I'm quite sure people might disagree with me that most women would blame the men for not "telling them." It's sad that our social behavior has come to this, but my only advice for men is to try to 'voice' their thoughts more and for the women to thoroughly analyze the situation before reacting negatively.

I could definitely be wrong, but I thought I might add an opinion to this.

[Asker]

I agree with you on the fact that most men have trouble voicing their feelings. But on the other hand women seem always ready to point the finger at guys for whatever problem happened. Women seem to have a big issue recognizing they fo that a lot and seem to not tealuze or ignore how frustrating it is for guys to always be portrayed at the a**holes.

[magnoliacrush]

I know, that's why I pointed out that men seem to be at fault majority of the time. I'm willing to admit that generally women react before putting themselves in their others' point of view.

[Asker]

I get your point better now. Problem is similar to a newdpaper broadcasting an erronoud news on the front page and correct tgeir mistake a week later using fine prints at the bottom of the last page a week later. 99% of readers only know about the claim on the front page.

[magnoliacrush]

exactly :)

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer. At least I have a possible hint at the reason for the behavior. And it'll help easing my frustration because I could see how it might not be malicious at all. Thanks!

[ShootingStar5]

Very well explained. +1

[magnoliacrush]

thank you :)

[Anonymous]

You live in a world where woman think they are the best thing since sliced bread. They believe they don't have to do anything yet be praised for it. Men are all stupid ,bad and replaceable and all the laws are set up to punish the man in any situation. Woman can cheat,steal and lie and get off Scott free.Look at the celeb world. Tiger woods cheats and loses millions, jobs drop him and is in the news everywhere. yet Kim cheats days before her wedding and still gets married! and then cheats again! yet she loses nothing.

if a man assumes a woman to follow her "Role" then he is labeled a sexist yet Woman only want a "real man". So men have to follow their roles and provide for someone who can't even do the simple things of their role. Turn on the TV, you can't go 10 min without seeing something that makes Men look stupid. Yet 90% of man kinds major breakthroughs where invented by men.They complain and bitch about equal rights yet you never see them rally and protest against having tax breaks for female business owners or turn down college funds and jobs for being female.

It has already been proven that females use emotions rather then logical fact when it comes to thinking. The typical American woman has the maturity of a 1 year old child.and was raised with it.

[Asker]

It's like on tv, when a crime is reported it's usually a black guy being ccused preemptively...I'm just sick of it.

[ShootingStar5]

"The typical American woman has the maturity of a 1 year old child.and was raised with it." <--I can say that's definitely true for my mother unfortunately.

[cherloo]

totally true, I feel the same, very ordinary girl has more advantages than a graceful man in our world

[Shygirl901]

I truly believe that women are awful. We mistreat men so much and get away with it so easily. They can blame it on periods if it is even close to that time of the month, or fling a fit if things don't go the way they expect, cry and guilt the man into giving them what they want. I have witnessed women mistreating men -for no reason, they just don't like him at the moment- quite often and yet the man is the one who is blamed. It is wrong and I wish it would change.

I have never thought that women were the better ones, we are the bad ones.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Not ever. Girls are accused of being too emotional. So we get back at you by saying you don't care. And genuinely, most of the time guys don't care. That's why we see you as a**holes. Maybe if you cared more and showed it, you all wouldn't be labelled as such. Also the history of men being "in charge" has an impact on it too. But because the world has changed, and women are now of "equal" power (at least in some parts of the world) it's considered abuse because that's the way the world interprets it now. As for the women witnessing the scene, they probably honestly just didn't want to get involved. Women are crazy maniacs who will go after anyone who disagrees with them. However, I myself am aware that men can be abused just the same as women. It's just interpreted differently because the world is still in the process of changing from patriarchal families to matriarchal

[ShootingStar5]

I'm amazed to see men who believe that they're all wonderful and all the women are bitches. There are nice guys and a**holes, nice girls and bitches.

As for the nice guy turning into an a**hole, that's just a chicken vs the egg scenario. Maybe the girl started being a bitch and the guy followed suit, maybe it was the other way around, or maybe the guy really was just a jerk even though the girl wasn't being a bitch to him. It all comes down to the individual, not the gender.

[ShootingStar5]

I'll agree with you though that society tends to favor women over men when it comes to some things. Except sexuality, there are still plenty of double standards against women there.

[Asker]

Exactly. But if you are telling me most women don't usually put the men at fault in their mind then I disagree. There are bad stereotypes and the one I mention is very tiring for guys. It's like women being labelled as sluts as soon as they want a one night stand. People from both genders know about that stereotype, but the one I mention seems conveniently ignored by the vast majority of women. And that's equally wrong and I hope it will change.

[ShootingStar5]

Maybe they do. I don't know I can't speak for other women, I can only speak for myself. I've only had one a**hole ex and I can definitely say that it wasn't because I was a bitch to him. I did notice myself turning into more of a bitch after dealing with him for so long though. I didn't like that and that was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. Most people in general seem to have a tough time admitting when they're wrong. So I bet most people regardless of gender, usually end up

[ShootingStar5]

blaming the other person no matter what.

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer, I appreciate your words though I can tell you don't see where I'm coming from. It's like when girls put so much time and effort to look nice and lots of guys that take 5 min top to get ready are just clueless about it. Women will understand that immediately while guys don't even realuze how insensitive they can act about it. I believecmost women are equally clueless about the point I bring while most guys will know exactly what I'm talking about.

[ShootingStar5]

I do understand where you're coming from. I'm just trying to look at things objectively. When it boils down to it though, I can't speak for other women and you can't speak for other men. I think there's just a general misunderstanding between genders that we'll never be able to bridge the gap for. We don't know what it's like to be a man and men don't know what it's like to be a woman. We can suspect and think about who's right and who's wrong all we want, but we'll never really know who's right

[Asker]

I disagree. Sometimes I'm aware of stereotypes I held against women because women pointed them to me. And dometimes it helps changing things. So I'm hopeful that the stereotype I brought up might be understoid by some and it'll help. Otherwuse what's the point of GAG if not to help genders understand each other better?

[ShootingStar5]

Right I agree that we can overcome stereotypes by enlightening each other, however that's only if the individual is open to the enlightenment. And that's still not the same as true understanding of the opposite gender, just in your own wrong-thinking. I'm just saying men will never know what it's like to be inside a woman's head and vice versa. Eh it seems we've gotten off topic, I think that was my fault though lol

[Asker]

Oh yeah I agree, we won't be able to really feel and think like the other gender. But getting a glimpse helps a lot sometimes to get along better! Thanks for your answer.

[ShootingStar5]

Agreed! And you're welcome :)

[PatriceONeal]

Women set the presidence, you have the power first at 18-29, not men, you set the bar high or low according to your overall upbringing which has been very low.

[Anonymous]

Duuude...

This site is stock full of self righteous, self absorbed people of both sexes. That's one of the reason so many people here suck at dating -- they always think they're right and the entire population of the opposite gender is wrong. There are just as many stereotypes of women being "psycho bitches" as there are men being "a**holes." You just have to open your eyes to all the crap around you, not just one side of it.

[Asker]

I disagree. Stereotypes between genders are not identical. Theu are equally wrong, but theu aren't the same.

[ShootingStar5]

I agree with the QA and she never said that they were the same.

[beerY33]

sigh...

[Asker]

Lol thanks for illustrating my point

[beerY33]

not at all.

[Asker]

Either you say something, or you don't. If you prefer not to say anything, then do so and stop writting two words answers. Thanks.