24 year-old guy who's never had a girlfriend and looks younger than his age.

[Anonymous]

As the title states, I'm 24 years old and have never had a girlfriend. I've never even held hands or gone on a date, and no girl has ever shown the slightest interest in me. I'm also currently attending college, just so you know.

I'm not exactly handsome in any way, just average, I suppose. The thing that bugs me, though, is that I look way younger than 24, and I've been getting more self-conscious about it lately. I can pass for 16 or 17. I have a small frame and I'm not really that tall. Some would say that I'm going to enjoy my youthful looks later down the years, which is true, it'll be sorta nice, but I think it'll hurt my chances of ever being in a relationship with women my age and older. They'd probably feel awkward being around me because of my looks. I know if I ever tried going bars/parties to talk to girls it will end in failure since they won't take me seriously (I don't go to them, anyway..not my thing).

I also have a somewhat dorky/quiet personality, so couple that with my appearance and I end up giving off a 'little brother' vibe. It's not like I look like a little kid or anything, I mean, I wear jeans, sometimes cargo pants, and regular shirts (and the occasional band shirt), and my hair is short.

For the most part, never having had a girlfriend doesn't bother me much. I know you don't need someone else to validate your existence, and I certainly don't want a girlfriend just for the sake of saying I have one, but I gotta admit, every now and then it'll bum me out late at night thinking about it, or when I go to the theater and see couples there.

Any opinions/advice from girls on this? Would you ever go for guys like me? Thank you for your time. :D

[Jamsco]

I know this is old but maybe you'll still see this. I was in a similar boat to you when I was around your age. I wasn't nerdy but I had interests different from many other guys, I stood out, I looked way younger than my age and was on the thinner side. The key thing here that I learned is that you have to accept yourself for who you are. The key thing here is to gradually build yourself up within your range, when you start to do that then your current limitations will become less and less. You HAVE to be CONTENT with yourself before you can even think about girls. Do things that really interest you and build your passion. Make sure you are REALLY doing what you want with your life, (example, did you pick a career choice that truly interests you and that will lead to you doing something that you will be proud of when you leave college)? Even side projects you do in private, even something as simple as basic maintenance on your car or house can build your self-esteem up.

DO NOT take advice from other guys on pick-up techniques or how you need to be "confident" or "grow balls" and blah blah blah. You are not like them, that's the way it is. I'm an introvert myself so I know this. At best you may have brief success with the false bravado routine than it

will backfire on you eventually. You have to think you are WAY better than other guys by doing things in life you are good at and succeeding at them as well, that will build gradually build your self-esteem up and show girls that you are content with yourself, WHEN YOU SHOW GIRLS YOU ARE VERY HAPPY WITH YOURSELF AND HAVE INTERESTS OUTSIDE OF THEM THEY WILL BE ATTRACTED TO YOU, they will want to know what's up. So try to build your self-esteem through other areas of your life first. If your not physically fit then just do simple things like push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups, stuff like that, at least you will get toned and it will help build your self-esteem a little more while not making an ass out of yourself in the gym.

When I got out of the service and started a new career doing something I was happy with and proud of my self-esteem with myself skyrocketed despite still being somewhat shy and very introverted. I learned that when I was in situations around women while just doing my job even the attractive girls that would have normally said they would never ask a guy out first were after me. Long post but after looking at all these other posts I hoped I could tell you something that would help you.

[NMMan]

As far as the looking young thing, I asked this question a while back and got some great advice from some girls on the subject - definitely check out what they had to say.

link

I know exactly what you mean, dude. I just turned 25 the other day and could easily pass for 18 (as the lady who helped me renew my driver's license on Saturday told me, haha).

[timberlake]

it's funny that every girl on here wants you so badly, haha.

you do sound awfully cute tho. you're intelligent and mature (two poitns for you) and you accept yourself (another point). you pretty much have the total package. the only advice I can have for you is to make yourself appear older. I know a lot of guys that have this problem and for the most part, they've gone with the facial hair approach. stubble, mustaches, beards. facial hair gives you an older look and can be matched up with any attire. business, parties, just bumming around. I'm a fan of stubble. a guy with stubble makes me feel...idk. he's just sexier because he's not wild with a beard, but not too tamed with a mustache. that's just my opinion.

you can also change your style a bit. maybe you should try the bar scene just a bit and dress it up. button down shirt and jeans or maybe a blazer, a t-shirt of your choice, and jeans. just try and do something along those lines. they're subtle changes that can make a big impact.

if that doesn't work, give one of us hopeful ladies a call. we'd date you for sure! ;) haha

[amber10-79]

I've actually dated a number of guys that look younger than their years. I'll admit, the first one kinda tripped me out (I seriously made him show me ID lol), but after the first outing, everything was cool. I'm not going to give you all the trite answers (one of which you already awknowledged above), like "be patient, it'll happen" or "appreciate what you have now" etc.

I would actually say to check out dating and social networking sites. Be honest about what you look like, even include a photo, and you may have better luck. Bars are where you go for physical relationships, anyway. As opposed to anything meaningful.

I have a friend that was a virgin and had never had a girlfriend until he was almost 28. He was by no means an unattractive guy, he was just really shy and didn't go out much. Try getting out more; find a hobby. Rock climbing, skiing, anything that brings people together for one certain activity. You'll broaden your circle of friends, and maybe meet some women.

Aside from all that, you could always go the mustache route lol. Good luck to you.

[angelbaby320]

My guy actually sounds a lot like you...its kind of weird.

If you meet a girl and she likes you for you then your size or looks won't really matter. I know people say that all the time so its kind of hard to take it seriously but its really true. When I first met my guy his size bothered me because I'm like 2 inches taller I'm also bigger than he is. But we started to chat more and more and now his size doesn't bother me at all. I love him and he's my best friend and I believe that someday I'll end up marrying him. So in the long run the way you look doesn't really matter.

But if it bothers you now and maybe you should consider dating girls that are a little younger than you versus an older woman. Girls tend to mature a lot earlier than men so that shouldn't be a problem. As long as you have things in common you should be good and I'm sure she'll appreciate that you don't look your age. Now I'm not talking 16 here I mean like 19 or 20.

[lilac90]

It happens to us all of all ages and sizes amd sexes. Some people just draw in the opposite sex/same sex while others don;t.

As for your look and personality I know some girls that only go for that type.

Make female friends at college as well as guy ones, and hopefully someone along the waywill come along BUT you will have to show signs of liking them because some of us are slow andwouldn't know,

[pelirojo_Amry]

don't be so self-conscious about how you look young... be confident. everyone likes being around someone with confidence :) and I would have no problem going out with someone like you, from what you've said. of course, I'm more into the personality thing than the looks/age thing (seriously, I'm 18 & dating a man much older than me.. & he looks it). keep thinking positively- don't get bummed out. I know several people who have not met their match til they were 26 or 27... sometimes even older. I understand that dating can be fun, but, really, aren't most of us just looking for our match? and as long as you find her, does it matter if you didn't date a whole lot?

hope I help.. you seem like a nice guy. good luck!

[ChelseaFC2009]

Dude, don't sweat it. You say that you are in college and you should you this opportunity to meet girls since you have a common topic to talk about. Just approach a girl you like in class and say hi. Or ask the girl to study with you. Remember there is always a girl that finds you attractive even though you might not think so because you might think negatively of yourself and we can never know the way that other people see us or what they think about us because it is a completely different perspective. I would wear jeans more than shorts to look more mature and wear buttondown shirts or polos.

[Reeses-pieces777]

i look way younger than my age as well and also in university. I'm also quiet and dorky ll

i think that if you work on confidence and make more friends who are girls

maybe work on being a little muscular.talk more often to other girls, but don't try too hard or you'll look desperate.

work on your style as well.

[KELLY1990]

"Dorks" are super adorable. :D

I'm almost 19, and everyone that I work with swears otherwise. There was this guy who was like 16 or something like, flirting with me, I was like no...

Anyways, I think this situation is fishy, not on your part, but why would girls NOT be interested?! Move to Florida, you'll be set for life. I know girls who like that kind of thing. The way you describe yourself sounds pretty cute. I dunno. Maybe all the girls you know are just blind.

[sexycrystal54313]

i would totally go for a guy like you, from the way you speak you sound like a very intelligent man, I tend to look at a persons personality over their looks, and I love a man that can keep up with me in school. my only advice that I can offer you is try to be more confident, confidence is key in attracting the opposite sex.

[SunshineLady]

wow. you're like a girl version of my sister. lols. she never had a boyfriend BUT she has dated a LOT. anyway... you look young and that matters. just wait for the right girl your time will come. I'm sure you're just a late bloomer with some tasteful appearances ;)

[Anonymous]

Oh sweetheart, being single can suck sometimes but it is a great time to work on yourself. To figure out the things you want in life and to find out who you are! I currently am dating a guy who has never had a girlfriend. He is about your age and we are doing just fine. Yes, at first I was intimidated because he had never been kissed or anything. Wow, it is scary and amazing to know that I would be his first kiss, girlfriend,anything! I would be the first! I really liked that idea.

As for you... you seem to hard on yourself. Who cares that you look young? When you focus on looks, it will make everyone else focus on your looks. Put yourself out there, who cares about rejection. You just have to try and possible fail. Girls are attracted to confident people. When you are confident and actually respect yourself, we can tell. Good luck to you!

[jojojosephine]

youhave to be confident. girls won't think it's a joke when you you go up to then if YOU don't think it's a joke! CONFIDENCE IS KEY! you just have to prevent the opportunities of getting a girl from walking past you

[Sheeva]

Believe me there are plenty of girls out there that would go for you. Your just not looking in the right places. I can't stand guys that are super muscular,tall, and self absorbed. I love nerdy guys, a guys intelligence means the world to me. The main thing that attracts me to a person is their intelligence, not their money or looks. Maybe I'm just weird, but I'm sure you'll find someone. Don't worry and good luck.

[moviedude714]

I've never had a girlfriend either, it's the hardest thing in the world for me.

[moviedude714]

Seriously, shyness or bad social skills, hurts guys more than it hurts girls.

[Anonymous]

You sound good to me. :]