Why do people always try to justify their actions?

I'm not referring to regular actions like going to a concert or hanging out with people, I mean from doing something wrong like committing a crime or cheating.

I hear people say about the cheating part " My husband is always at work and tired when he gets home and barely any time for us." I hear it all the time, I believe people do know what they did was wrong but just try to justify their wrongs.

What is an example you encountered with people trying to justify their actions, doesn't have to be my mine but your welcome to state your opinion about it as well.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Great question. :)

    Well, there are two types of people who have this mindset; ones who lack conscience and others who are trying to put their conscience to sleep. I will explain. :)

    People who lack conscience, which helps us differentiate between what is right and what is wrong, have no problem committing shameful acts. They feel nothing wrong at all and they tend to customize their excuses based upon what they have done. You can hear in the news a guy who raped a girl who was walking alone down the street saying it's the girl's fault because she was walking alone and is dressing provocatively when it's not true. He carries a sick mind on his shoulder but doesn't seem to notice the harm and even if he does it makes him happy that he can make people jump. It is a pleasure in his eyes.

    Others do have a conscience but is trying to overlook it. Like a woman who cheats on her husband even though she knows it is wrong. She will give you a million excuses for people to sympathesize and feel sorry for her. Such people are looking for a way to put their conscience to sleep. As you know conscience might be limiting. Our sense of right and wrong may keep us from doing a lot of things. A lot of people do bad things, and they know it's wrong, and are trying to justify their actions to overcome that persistent voice of conscience telling them "It's wrong!". It's like they are fighting with that inner voice.


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What Girls Said 4

  • Here's the thing...we're human beings and we make mistakes. No one's perfect and everyone will do something at least once in their lives (at least I think so) that is less than favorable or hurtful to another person. It's an ego-mechanism when people try to justify these things because often they feel so ashamed that they cannot forgive themselves so they try to make what they did okay in some sort of psychologically twisted way. And let's face it, some people are just a lot more F'd up than others.

    We don't always know where people are coming from...what kind of environments they grew up in, what traumatic things they may have experienced, and not to mention people's personal definitions of what is "right" and "wrong" are often very different. So while people are trying to figure out what really makes them happy, other people are going to get hurt in the crossfires. It sucks, but that's life I guess.

    • Thank you for stating the obvious - but you are only still justifying a woman's immoral and immature behavior. We are all going through something, but one of the issues' are women cheating and justifying it with "oh.. he was never home!" (When it's also a double standard that women will complain if a man doesn't work hard enough - geez you women really are terrible, terrible people. Almost evil to the core) the issue at hand is saying it's right when it's clearly wrong. What do you have to say to address that? Obviously not much.

  • yeah I think justifying a wrong is just, well, unjustifiable.

    it's like saying 'oh I killed someone, but that's because they called me a wuss' or something stupid.

    people need to learn, sometimes when it comes to MORALS/ ETHICS that it doesn't get justified. it is what it is.

    I heard a story about a girl who got acid splashed in her face by her ex boyfriend and his actions obviously will never be justifiable by any means even if she was a bitch to him. some people just can't deal or aren't mature enough to move on from situations-thus they try to 'justify' their wrong doing, even if it's not justifiable, it's still a wrong.

    good question btw! :)

    • yeah, I do agree, some people try to play many different cards but from any angle you look at it won't atone for their actions.

  • I totally agree with you! Usually I hear my friends who are in relationships lie to their boyfriends about where they are and go meet up for dinner or drinks with old boyfriends, and they say "Well I would tell him if he could handle it, but he gets so mad when I mention other guys its best to tell a white lie"

    And then I say PFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT and lecture them for an hour..lol

    I don't know I think people find ways to jusify their actions in their own little minds, because if they repeat it enough time in their brains they can convince themselves they didn't do anything wrong.

  • because there is always a reason behind any action, whether it is truly justifiable or not.


What Guys Said 2

  • My ex told me she secretly went behind the guy's back that she dumped me for and went on like 4-5 blind dates to find a guy that could replace me. When I asked her "You know what your doing is wrong right?" her response was "Yeah I know but, see were sort of in an open relationship". I just had a smirk on my face and just sort of left it at no comment.

  • nice question. it's just that people love to think that they're right all the time.