How to break the ice with this ULTRA shy girl?

[Anonymous]

So, a few weeks back I broke it off with this girl I'd been seeing. After a period of re-evaluation and thoughts about what I really wanted out of a relationship I determined I needed to start being more open minded about who I ask out.

Fast forward to one of my college classes, there's this girl that sits next to me. She's not one of those girls that "dresses to impress" or whatnot but in my opinion she's damned cute, I'm interested. Now I've talked to her and tried to help her with some classwork and she'll ask me questions about it but, unlike most events where talking about classwork eases some stigma and drops into a regular conversation which drops into humor and etc etc etc scope out the situation and finish it with asking her out or moving on... THIS girl leaves me with question marks and a wall of anti-socializing. You're probably confused right now, so am I.

Here's the deal, she's SUPER ULTRA shy. When she turns to me for help with classwork (which I think takes her a few minutes to work the courage up for) she'll turn to me and talk in a SUPER QUIET VOICE, when I look over to respond her head will turn to her work ASAP but her body will still be turned to me. It's hard to establish a connection that way with her.

Talking to any girl that's more "open" I can tell if she doesn't want anything to do with me, if she's just being friendly, or if she at least has a SMALL interest in me. With this shy girl I have no clue whatsup. Are you really just interested in help with classwork? Am I bothering you? What's the deal?

Now I don't want to rush this or be too pushy with her because then she'll just clam up and stop talking- PERIOD. I've been at least saying goodbye after class and just getting her to talk even if it's just about stupid questions about classwork in hopes she'll ease up a little, but I've never dealt with a girl this shy. I can't even tell if she's had any experience with talking to guys at this point!

To sum her up she's super studious, super shy, talks quieter than a mouse, probably has no experience with guys, and probably comes from a strict traditional (asian) family.

I wish I had more than that to tell you guys but the fact is I don't know how to approach this situation, up til now I just ignored any girl that had this ultra shy wall around her but as said, I'm trying to be open minded and experience new things.

Any advice is highly appreciated, I don't want to be too talkative or direct in fear that she'll have an anxiety attack or just clam up and stop talking for the rest of the semester so I'm going to need some good advice when it comes to dealing with super shy girls, I'd REALLY appreciate it.

[stillagoodgirl]

Dang it sounds bad. I didn't realize it was that confusing.
I was acting like that but worse because during break I'd see him outside and I quickly put my head down to avoid making eye contact.
After a while he acted like I didn't exist and moved to another seat closer to his friends.

Ask her for her name and major so you somewhat know each other. Also tell her your name and shake hands.

*****The only point I didn't like is you saying she doesn't dress to impress. Seems like your targeting her because she's 'easier to get/impress' kind of like she's below your standards

[scribbles]

Dude if she's shy and quiet as a mice then it must have taken guts for her to talk to you so it means she likes you ...ASK HER OUt AFTER class is over and tell her you like her ...that's the only thing you can do and before hand tell her if she's says no then you are OK with just being freinds and that will make your chances of getting her higher :P

[toulouse]

if she's so quiet what are you going to do when you're dating-just f*** ?

[Asker]

Not a bad idea, hahaha! No but in all seriousness every person has things they love and want to talk about, interests, hobbies, you name it! It's just for some its harder to express it and let it out, I'm just trying to see how I can get her to that point.

[toulouse]

what I mran is, what if you get her to go out with u, & she remains shy. I've been shy with a guy I like, even tho I'm by no means, a shy person, in general,. there was stuff I wanted to talk about -but I wasn't able to. he took it personally & got really mad& we didn't talk for a really long time.

if she actually goes out with you & continues not to talk,.. what will you do. it might seem a lot more glamerous than it is. breaking through to someone who doesn't talk. sometimes they just-dont talk.

[Anonymous]

The only thing you can do is keep talking to her, none of the "traditional" methods is gonna work. Be advised though, I tried (and suceeded) in opening up a shy girl and, well, she went from not talking and being quiet to being extremely sarcastic and "mean" all the time, I admit I like it and it is the way some "shy" girls flirt, but just be aware that she may be the same way and if you have no tolerance for sardonic and acid tongues, better steer clear.