We broke up like a month and a half ago and he finally just started talking to me well he spent 5 days with me and went back to her why?does he still love me? he is confusing but we have been together for 7 years! I love him and want him back I don't know where to start! Help Me
This story is waaaay too familiar. I know what you are going through.
I lived with my boyfriend for 3 years and I broke up with him because he had some major issues with anger, marijuana, and alcohol. I had given him an ultimatum and acted on it. I know that he was still in love with me and it broke his heart. I was hurt too but I knew it was for the best.
Two months later after moving out of our apartment, he moves back into my complex...with a new girlfriend! We were 25 and his new girlfriend was 18! It was like he was throwing it in my face that he had moved on with his life and wanted me to hurt as much as he hurt.
That took me a while to get over and I am happy that I did not look back and succumb to begging for him to be my lover again.
Fortunately, I had others to talk sense into me and tell me that he had issues and was trying to hurt me. If he really loved me and had some sense in him, he would have gotten help and come back to me. And yes,...I waited. I hurt so bad for a couple of years after that experience that it took me some time to get back into looking for guys to date.
My brothers told me that he was trying to hurt me, but also in a strange way, was trying to fill the void of the relationship that he had once had with me. He needed a girl to come home from work to and the familiarity of the apartment complex to remind him that he is not out on his own. It made sense to me and sort of helped me get through the rough time.
If I were in your shoes, as I was 2.5 years ago, I would move on. He is not serious enough to waste more tears on. He sounds emotionally immature. What about this other girl, why is she putting up with him? That guy is offending both of you.
Love triangles are always hard - everybody loses. You feel like a puppet because you're who emotional being is at the whim of others. It's like dominos. She gets mad at him, he runs to you, they make up, he dumps you etc etc etc.
7 Years is a long time. I'm wondering how much he takes you for granted? I'm guessing a lot. If I were you I'd find a rebound to pass the time (even if it's just a guy to hang out with and talk). Doing this will certainly make him realize you're a scarce commodity that might vanish at any time.
You see, he's a guy. If he thinks you're a lock, and sitting home waiting for his call you become boring to him. Give him a challenge. Force him to at least consider what life would be like without you.
Right not (even though he's gone) he KNOWS he can have you back anytime he wants.
Take that away from him and see what happens. Next time he calls and wants to drop by, have a VAGUE excuse as to why you can't. Make it sound like you don't want to tell him anything and try to get off the phone as fast as possible.
Do this a few times and you'll see what I mean. He'll start showing up unannounced. Try to have your new guy there - or be out HAVING FUN.
See what I'm getting at here? You're peaking his interest. It's fun, it's interesting and it's sexy. Knowing that some other guy finds you sexy will make him remember that you are.
Even though your heart is breaking right now, do HAVE FUN with this - do go out and do things you stopped doing over the past 7 years.
Why? Because by bouncing back and getting you life together you'll become irresistible to not only him, but lots of guys. Living well is the best revenge.
Well, you need to stop letting him come back. I too dated a guy 7 years and he is in serious relationship with her. It really hurts that they can move on so quickly. The thing is, they can. If he can do that to you then he never was into the relationship you two had. He spent 5 day's with you because he wanted to be with someone he was comfortable with. I would suggest staying very very busy. That has helped me this last month.. I even cleaned my vents in my house with q-tips to keep my mind off of it. I know, pathetic. Your break up seemed to have happened right when mine did. I still hurt more now then I did when it happened. It's because we cared. If he has a new girlfriend, and he comes back around? Call her, tell her. Don't talk to him. I say this all the time and just took my own advice tonight. That is why I think I am The Answer Goddess lately:) You don't want a guy back that can do this to you after 7 years do you? Keep a journal, work out, look great, and act as if you have no care in the world if he comes around. Good Luck! I know it is the hardest thing to get over, but we can do this!!!
7 years is a long time to spend together so it makes it even harder. It is easy to fall back into the same pattern because you are comfortable with him. He feels the same thing with you but if get back with him again after he left you twice for the same girl it will continue until one of you get tired of him. You need to know that you deserve more from life and it will come when the time is right. You need to stop talking to him and pretend that he does not exist.........it will be very hard but it will be the start of a new beginning for you. I wish you luck be strong as hard as it may be, good thing will come to you.