Shy girls, how can guys know the difference between "not interested" and "hard to get"?

[Anonymous]

Both behaviors are pretty similar, specially with a shy girl. I have known this girl for a long time and she has never had a boyfriend. Now it is very noticeable that she acts differently around me, she is quieter, very sarcastic towards me and likes to tease me a lot. I really can't tell if it is because she just doesn't like me or she is hiding something. She is pretty chatty and funny with 99.999999% of people, I'm not going to say outgoing, but she will try to have a conversation or laugh at jokes here and there. With me she won't really initiate any conversations, she usually just throws sarcastic comments at me when I'm talking to others and things like that to"get my attention" when I'm not talking to her.

When she does have my attention, she keeps telling me how she doesn't find me amusing, how much I bug her etc. When I say things like "im gonna go" or something, she starts "oh thank god you will leave me alone now". Its like a night and day difference with me. As much as we "dislike" talking to each other, we both remember conversations and specific phrases and words and things we have done, things that happened months ago. I know I remember because I like her and those things get imprinted in my memory. SHe says she never listens to me or care about what I say and yet she remembers even more stuff than I do. I know girls have a great memory but even girls who are my friends don't remember every single word I say and "try to catch me in a lie".

I figure she either likes me or really hates me because when she talks to others, it feels like they are her friends and with me she will talk but its very different, the things we talk about and argue about are more like the things people who spend a lot of time together and know each others' ins and outs argue about, so I don't know what to think, any ideas?

[safou]

i am a shy girl and believe me this girl likes you to the bones here is why :

1. she teases you because she wants to hides her feelings from you ( she will feel embarrassed if you find out she likes you ).

2. if iam not interested in a guy I will :

* not try to get his attention so I think that's a plus

*NOT remember anything he said

* run away from him as much as I can

* can't stand a word he is saying

3. shy girls say something and means another thing like her saying ( "oh thank god you will leave me alone now" its means ( oh no DON'T GO ) truly , but she can't say that to you bcz she is SHY

4. teasing is a common sign of interest ( if she likes you she teases you )

you to are so much in love with each other! a blind man can see that !

my advice to you is go and talk to her tell her how you truly feel and ask her out

oh another thing don't you EVER NEVER ask her this : do you like me ? because her answer will be ( hahahahahahahha are you kidding I HATE you) but from the inside ( I LOVE YOU)

hope that helps , if you want to ask anything am here

[Asker]

A lot of what you said makes sense. She acts "annoyed" when I talk to her and yet she will try to get my attention with her jokes and sarcasm. She says she doesn't pay attention to me but she brings up a lot of stuff I've said before (my favorite soccer team is not something that a girl not paying attention will remember, especially if it was said MONTHS ago. Its like she tries way too hard to show how much she dislikes me that its somewhat funny.

[safou]

exactly , I will not remember anything if am not interested in a guy if he said anything 10 minutes ago LoL , but months , Dud , she doesn't like you , she looooooooooooves youuuuu , don't waste your time , make a move , and tell us how it goes

[Sekaya]

I'm a fairly shy girl (at times - I can be quite outgoing) but I will openly tackle such an issue. Saying "I don't like you" is much easier than "I like you", at least for me. That being said, if I honestly liked a guy, I wouldn't pull such a stunt with him. Why? Often times it will chase the other party away. If all a guy ever said to me involved using negatives or negativity, I'd frown and leave. You make it sound like this is always the case, yet you like her - so I would assume that this negativity isn't so constant as it comes across in your post/question?

If you're really wondering, though, bring it right to the forefront. "Do you like me, or do you honestly hate me? If you say you hate me, we'll end this now and I'll be on my way, and we'll never talk again. If you like me, then let's keep this up." or some such.

Hope this helps, somewhat. =)

[Asker]

Honestly, the "negativity" is on an everyday basis. Its kinda hard to know if she is like that because she hates me because we both have this kind of sarcastic sense of humor. She says she does not hate me and yet she acts like this. Like I say, we argue a lot and sometimes we cross the line and stop talking to each other but we make up a few days later. I like her because of how she is, I like her sense of humor and the way we play off each other She kinda acts like a bratty 12 year old

[Sekaya]

If she says she doesn't hate you, that's likely the case. I know sometimes I can take sarcasm too far - it's why I always tell people to make me aware of it if they want me to flip it off for a while.

It sounds like she might enjoy engaging in these debates with you. You may provoke one another and get angry, but perhaps she values whatever insight you give, no matter how much she dislikes not having her opinion shared at the time. Some girls also confuse "put downs" with jokes.

[iin_hartoyo]

shy girl have to fight to handle the feeling. its hard to tell about the sarcastic comment, because its personal style. maybe she press her feeling toward you. but the thing is hard to tell like or hate. just throw a joke and tease her alot. from there you will know her feeling. isn't man like to test woman in many ways? you re not shy so you will have more experience.