How do I stop being so shy around him?

[baileydonn]

My best guy friend of five years and I are constantly in a cycle of being just friends, to talking/dating/becoming something more, however, we have never officially dated. This is mostly because I can never make up my mind what I want. Well lately, I have had the strongest feelings for him that I honestly can't describe. Obviously, I want to become more than friends because we have both grown to know each other really well and we hang out a lot. The problem is, I can't be myself around him. When we talk on the phone and text, I am totally fine. But when I hang with him in person, he is so outgoing and funny.. And I can't do anything but act like a dang mute. I mean, I laugh, I say a few things.. But I just feel like I'm so quiet. He even asks me what's wrong, when I'm perfectly fine. I'm just a listener I guess. That and I can be pretty insecure, so I try to avoid saying anything that might screw up what we have. My question is, how do I stop being so shy around him? I am considered loud and bubbly by my friends, my family is always having to tell me to shut up. But around him, I'm speechless. Any advice? I don't want to lose him.

- B

[MrEM4N]

Says cliche but just be yourself. I used to be quiet like you then I realized it's our unique personalities that allow people to fall for us. Who are will never change so why not embrace it? Do the random silly things in the car, sing songs out load, hop, skip and leap around a fountain. Girls are allowed to be ditzy, it's cute and endearing for men. Most of the time I have to be more conservative then I would prefer but it makes me smile when I'm with someone who doesn't care what the world thinks about her.

[baileydonn]

Thanks for the advice.. I'm not much on being ditzy, I'm a smart girl. But I can be wild and crazy, just not with him for some reason! Haha. I like what you said about being with someone who doesn't care what the world thinks.. Because that's totally his personality and I love it. :)

[bigboi38]

The fact that you get all nervous and quite around him means you really like him. At least you made up your mind and know what you want now. YOu have to try and and be yourself around him, don't be afraid you already know he likes you so just let go and be yourself.

[baileydonn]

Haha easier said than done. Thank you for the advice! I just don't know why I can't be myself. Just trying not to screw something up.. But I think me being quiet is only making things worse!

[bigboi38]

You feel you can't be yourself around him because you are afraid of messing things up but what you have to realize he already likes you for you and has seen it when you guys were just friends and when you write to him. Being yourself won't ruin anything at all.

[baileydonn]

Thanks, I think that's exactly what I needed to hear. :)

[bigboi38]

Not a problem. Thanks for picking my answer. I hope everything wworks out and you are happy.

[AmberChick]

Well, the problem is that if you close up around him it migh tbe hard to have an actual relationship. A relationship should include two people who are comfortable with each other in public and private, and can say literally anything to each other and it should be all right. If you can't even talkt o him while you guys are outside, that is a bad sign.

[baileydonn]

I know, that's why I was wanting to know what I can do to open up. He doesn't mind I don't think, but I know personally that I am much more outgoing than what I am around him but for some reason I just can't be my usually crazy self.

[XdarkangelX]

Lol its the same thing with me...its like all of a sudden my mouth is zipped shut around this guy.

[baileydonn]

It really sucks, especially when I'm not quiet around anyone else! Just him. I just don't want to say something stupid I guess :P I really like him a lot.

[Anonymous]

I just have to say that you look like a female version of Ryan Reynolds

[baileydonn]

Wow, honestly never heard that before. Haha. I take it as a compliment though, Ryan Reynolds is fine!

[Opinion Owner]

he really is! you look like you could be his twin

[baileydonn]

Haha sweet, thanks :)

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind when you are young the whole, " I can never make up my mind what I want." thing is "Ok".

But when you get older it gets old FAST...,and good, solid, loving guys will start walking from your life if you are still playing around like this.

Regarding your shyness. Try pretending that you are with family when you are with him. This may take the edge of until you are more comfortable around him. You just like him, is all that this is.

[baileydonn]

Thanks for the advice.. I know, being indecisive is one thing I have a problem with. But I'm positive that I don't want anyone else but him. And I'll try that when we hang out next, maybe drink something with caffeine in it. That always makes me act like my talkative crazy self! Lol.

[gaggleii]

As long as you both like each other, you're not going to lose him just because you're a little quiet or shy. Don't worry about it.

[baileydonn]

I'll try.. I'm such a worry wart though. :P Thanks for the advice.