Why do women get excited/aroused when we men lose our temper?

i always have noticed this. every time I get angry at someone till the point I wanna kick that person's ass chicks who are around always get turned and always end up approaching me with full interest. like today was a good example; at work(I work at a little convenience store in a bad neighborhood) I caught a guy stealing and I switch to rage mode and confronted his ass, he tried to deny he was stealing but I was positive all the way that he was stealing as I saw him with my own eyes trying to put a can of soda in his jacket on the download. him denying it made me more angry that I grappled him and I was shouting "if your not stealing! then why you are hesitating to show was in your pocket?". then I ended up causing a scene as all the customers where watching. then he decided to admit he was trying to steal the can of soda, and this outraged me a lot more and he jetted out the store as I through a glass bottle at his ass. after that, all the customers that where chicks were excited towards me like I was a celebrity or something. why? why do women get turned when we men act a fool like this?

another time was also at work when I lost my temper with my ex over the phone. I was talking reckless and shouting out curses. at that moment, the hottest chick in the block was in the store(all the guys in the neighborhood were dying for her) and I was always invisible to her but this time as I was spitting fire she was drooling at me. she even walked up to me smiling as this was happening, 3 days later she came in flirting with me and all.


Most Helpful Girl

  • As long as he is NOT yelling at me...yes,i think its super attractive.It just shows that he is not a cuckhold or a jelly backed man as my mum used to say.It shows that he can stand up for himself.There is nothing more unattractive then a guy who allows someone else to run over them.

    I once had a crush on a bartender at a club I frequent.One night,he got into an incident with a customer.The customer slapped him and the next thing I knew,the bartender had wiped the votive candles off the bar,hot wax flying everywhere DARING him to hit again...because he was going to kick the sh*te out of the dude. Now,im not into violence,but the fact that he was relentless and aggressive in the situation automatically upped his attractiveness.So much so that I asked him out a couple of weeks later.I KID YOU NOT.

    Also,somewhere within me,i would be feel that if we were dating (hypothetically) and someone decided to cross some serious lines...he would be able to protect me. Truthfully,i can take care of myself,but its nice to know a guy has the ability to step in and set somebody straight.Scrumptious.

    • so it has to do with being a alpha male after all

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    • reminds me of the ending in that King Kong sequel that came out in 1986

    • Exactly. :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • Because they think you'd make a good lap dog.

    barbarossaaaa explains it perfectly - link

    • the damn true!

    • Beware the female manipulator, friend. Be vigilant.

What Girls Said 48

  • Yh I'd think you were a psycho and leave the shop, that isn't the way to handle shoplifting. On the 2nd I'd think you were a psycho and once again leave the shop lol

    I have read a few comments on here and I think girls have it messed up, there is nothing fierce or exciting about someone who looses their cool and acts so unprofessionaly.

    Smashing a bottle after a guy leaving? ding ding ding

    Screaming curse words over the phone at a girlfriend no one can hear her side or know the full picture... ding ding ding

    Those females took you anger for power.. which it isnt. Power is sticking up for yourself and showing dominance without having to raise a finger, use a curse word or raise your voice.

    • ding ding ding ding ding

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    • I said and I quote "I'd think you were a psycho" had I been there and witnessed it, not that you ARE a psycho.

    • amen to this! :p

  • Protectiveness is something I adore on guys. But there's a difference between handling a situation and losing your temper. For example, when my guy friend found out that our friend's boyfriend was just a creep who wanted her virginity, he got this stern, angry look on his face and quietly said "He's not touching her." He's very much a pacifist, so he didn't do much, but it was enough.

    On the other hand, my last boyfriend was very protective but he was out of control. It never really happened with me, but he told me about one time a gas station clerk made fun of his ex for being petite, and he went ballistic and started yelling at the clerk to come out from behind the counter and "face him like a man."

    So, I guess, the way I feel is that it's very nice to know when a guy's got my back, but threatening violence at the slightest provocation is too much.

  • Guys with a temper are sexy I always attract guys that have a bad temper lol. Plus I kind of like to see what happens when a guy gets angry it says a lot about his character. I think there are a lot of girls like me that are tired of guys having a lot of talk and no action or being around wusses. It's just macho...until it's directed towards you.

  • Because guys don't show their emotions as much so him blowing up is him showing some emotion and B, its kinda sexy to see an angry guy all strong and tough, I feel like he could protect me if need be and he could also handle me in bed sorta thing

  • I prefer gentle, sweet guys.

    My fiance is the complete opposite.

    He has a very short temper and likes fighting things out.

    I get tired of seeing him bloody and watching him get hurt/hurt others.

    It scares me.

    I am not the kind of girl to jump in on the fight or be like: "Yeah baby, kick his ass!"

    Before it escalates I try to stop him or tell him to walk away.

    But when he's fighting there is nothing I can do except cringe.

    I hate violence especially when it involves someone I care about.

    Why am I with him, then?

    I like it rough in bed- I enjoy being man handled. n_n

    • So you're with him for the sex only?

    • Of course not. He has plenty of other good points about him besides his anger issues.

    • Nice guys finish last! ^^

  • If anything that first situation would have made me uncomfortable and worried for the other guys safety, I don't like violence and I hate to see people put their hands on someone else...Being angry and being what I would call overly dramatic is different.

    The second situation I would have just thought you were a bit unprofessional, rude and once again I would have been uncomfortable I don't like a lot of yelling and cursing.

    Some girls like that whole "Oh I'm a man hear me roar" I on the other hand do not, I'm not attracted to "alpha" males at all.

    I like the soft, timid, sweet, coy kind of guy like the most he would do when he's mad is not want to be touched (pushing me away) walking away (even though I'm trying to stop him) gets quite and has that "look" ( maybe a frown or a blank stare) that would turn me on, not some raging lunatic.

    • lol that's exactly how I respond. My face goes blank and I become silent. If I'm really mad, I'll walk away saying nothing.

  • idk there's something about it that's just sexy and hot as hell! My man got mad at me the other night and it turned me on. I was trying to be serious and respectful of the situation but I really just wanted him to tear my clothes off. I got really excited when he got mad. I don't know what it is, it's just hot. Especially on a guy who never gets mad and is always really sweet. Espeically when the guy gets an intense, fiery look in his eye and a veign pops out of his neck or head.

  • When they loose it on me. I get scared and cry. On someone else...i get worried. But I like dudes that stand up for themselves.

  • I do not, and I do not know of any females who do. I just asked the gals in the office, most 24-33 y.o., and they don't either. Hmmm...Must be the company you keep.

  • Huh..? I don't get aroused when men loose their temper.

    Those chicks were amused which is different than aroused.

    • hmmm, they looked pretty aroused to me...

  • I think that silly for a girl to drool over a guy yelling at his girl. I guess she likes the idea that might be her someday? Kinda weird if you ask me.

    A man standing up for himself, and those around yes, that's cool.

  • girls like a guy who can stand his own, but we don't like childish boys.

    and the whole justice thing (when you stopped him from stealing something) is kinda like the fairytale thing lol

  • I don't like men with a short temper. I would get scared and upset.. I don't like violence..

    Sometimes, when he gets angry at someone (or me). It shows that he has a spine.

    It's so hot though. Nothing is wrong with angry sex.

    • Why do you think angry sex is hot?

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    • Is that so?

    • Yes, very much so.

  • mmm well I love that :D there's something about a guy with a temper. It turns me on for sure :) his face turns angry and you can see his lines on the forehead from being so angry...Its hot for me :)

    Liked the way you describe the second paragraph "spitting fire" ...excuse me as I am a freak lol

    • lmao! reading your answer you do nothing but remind me exactly of that chick

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    • no is cool. lmao! I think Chris Rock was even talking about what you just said in one of his old stand up comedies

    • being angry is a sign of weakness. he can't control himself.

  • Aggression shows a high level of testosterone. It's based on the primal desire for an alpha male. But TBH I'd actually prefer if the guy hit like a wall versus another person, that sh*t scares me.

  • i think its hot to see a man who can stand up for himself. nobody wants a p****. I think it goes back to the alpha male. women want the strongest to mate with and be with.

  • Women like power and a man who's angry is powerful, fierce, and sexy

  • You mean some women. I get put off by men who lose their temper it's very unattractive to me and a sign that he can't control his temper.

  • Girls do that because

    A:they wanna be smarter than you by comparison.

    B:they like a bad boy.

  • nah for me its a big turn off.. I prefer gentle guy but at the same time someone who can protect me also.

  • simple girls love a guy that can protect them its a major turn on.

  • I personally don't get excited at all.

  • Well my dad always loses his temper with me but he's my dad. But whenever my boyfriend tells me of how he kicked some guy's ass I think it's hot. I agree with pepper01's answer.

  • I've dealt with enough angry guys. TO me it just means you're emotional, which is irritating to be honest. Though that's just in my experience.

  • It's one of those things where you show your dominance. Some girls like to be over powered and enjoy (most) out-spoken guys (especially ones aiming for justice or that are respecting themselves ie. in the instance of fighting with your ex). It's a sexy-brave complex.

  • :)))) Well, maybe because you look like a real man when you're angry. It's true also about the protectiveness part! :)

  • Well its because girls like excitement;) I know when my boyfriend does Something unexpected or really excited, I know I get pretty interested.

  • My guy used to lose a lot of temper..I truly hated him for doing that. We always fought just because he lost his temper,we had many arguments and finally I ended my relationship with him just because he LOST TOO MUCH OF TEMPER! :/

  • because it makes you look confident, strong, and she knows she can count on you to protect her. Now most of the time, there's no reason for a guy to protect a girl, but we still like to feel secure around a guy. Please anwser mine.

  • Truthfully.. Because we imagine the guy bringing some of that agression in the bedroom.

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What Guys Said 21

  • i notice more women being turned off by a guy who can't control his emotions...it just means he's still in the habit of behaving like a child...

  • You're making a real assumption there, dude.

    They don't get aroused, they get disgusted.

    • well, sounds typical to a person who was never there to witness it

  • When you let your anger out like that, it shows your potential as a good catch in a primal sense that maybe our consumerist, bourgeois culture has lost interest in and maybe forgotten. Sometimes gilts like this so much, at such an imbalance and to the neglect of all other things, that they don't mind being hit themselves.

    • "Sometimes gilts like this so much, at such an imbalance and to the neglect of all other things, that they don't mind being hit themselves"

      Oh god that was so beautifully snuck in at the end. Bravo to you, sir. +1

  • Then next time I see an attractive woman I'm going to punch the nearest guy right in the face and see what happens. I'll update with results...

  • irrespective of what women like, being unable to control your emotions is hardly a virtue (though I appreciate violence is sometimes necessary). If women want this link then fine, leave them to it. Thankfully in my experience many women genuinely don't like it.

    • (remove the comma in the link)

  • I was raised to be a 'real' man by my whole family. My uncles and mom would drill it into my head when I was young because I was a fairly emotional kid who cried and throw temper tantrums. I was taught to be respectful and keep your emotions in check but at the same time if the situation arises, then you have to stand up for yourself, be assertive, don't back down and protect the ones you care about.

    So it all depends on the situation. I have short temper and a NASTY mean streak but fighting should be the last resort. If it's an ego battle between you and a drunk guy at a bar, then be the bigger man walk away because he's drunk and have no clue what he's saying. But if someone who's being verbally abusive, etc to your girlfriend / friends, disrespect you or your family, then you should stand up for yourself and defend yourself and others you care about. Don't back down until till he backs off. Only throw the first punch if he does.

  • I have no interest in making anger or aggression apart of my life and even less interest in being with a girl who thrives on that. My relationships are always happy healthy and very fulfilling as they are. Smart girls know what to look for in guys and you eventually learn that a short temper is a red flag.

  • HAHAHAHA...nice observation. I once had a girlfriend admit that she came when I lost my sh*t at the scene of a car accident. They're all just little animals.

  • Because most women are retarded animals.

  • It was not "arousal" - you totally misread it.

    It was either an awe - for someone who stands for himself, but - if there would be another chick in your place the reaction would be the same!

    ...or they were just smirking in amusement - it's not uncommon, as as enraged people actually look like idiots not heroes, so don't take pride in it.

    In fact - if you cannot control your temper, it will be your biggest obstacle to women because they hate men who are prone to have blind rage, especially if the reason is stupid.

    • Bullsh*t. You have no idea what you're talking about, so stop giving advice.

  • I'm not sure it's a turn on.

    I'm prone to blinding rage (I have holes in my dry wall) and I myself don't find it particularly attractive.

  • they probably think it's very fun to watch

  • thats quite the temper you got lol

    • what are you talking about?

  • most woman don't like it

  • Its because some girls look at that as a sign of dominance...it turns girls on to know a man can handle sh*t with authority. Showing them that you have balls to say wats up! Don't let it go to your head buddy...haha

  • First of all, your a goofball. Second of all, drama is lame. A girl shouldn't be into you because you like to be loud and aggressive. Its true, girl's like a powerful and able to handle things kind of man, but it doesn't seem like a way you should use to pick up chicks...its not a strong foundation for a relationship...

  • well the girls who answered have the maturity to see what's going on here, your situation showed you as being a sort of scoundrel, a low-life (other guy was too, but you didn't have to stoop to his level), you could've handled this in a better way, sure there are trashy women out there that love this, but you seem like a bit of a trashy guy yourself so you'll attract in kind, you sound like one of those NY scoundrel type people, like from the bronx, poor, not well educated, etc (don't get mad at me, I'm probably right, I don't mean it in an offensive way)

    also women get turned on by all sorts of ridiculous stuff

  • maybe they think you look sexy, some women might have come up to you but you're exaggerating this whole story

    only idiots resort to voilence, it might have been OK in this situation but don't go around beating people up thinking your going to get chicks, that might work when your a teen, good luck

    • trust me! I'm not stupid and I never said I was gonna do this more often to get chicks. I just did what I had to do at those times. I don't put my life, health, respect and dignity over chicks

  • it is one of those weird things. I have a habit of growling if I get annoyed or frustrated, and about 90% of the time women immediatley seem to gravitate towards me and start being a little mor flirty with me. Especially if we don't know one another well.

    Maybe it's the caveman thing? Angry, strong and territorial means good protector, therefore biologically speaking it's because you would be a father who's very protective of his children (no, this doesn't mean all women are only interested in having kids. It's a biological reaction, not a conscious one)

  • because women are pretty backward in terms of development...that's why they go back to men that treat them like trash, you have seen it