Why do women get excited/aroused when we men lose our temper?

i always have noticed this. every time I get angry at someone till the point I wanna kick that person's ass chicks who are around always get turned and always end up approaching me with full interest. like today was a good example; at work(I work at a little convenience store in a bad neighborhood) I caught a guy stealing and I switch to rage mode and confronted his ass, he tried to deny he was stealing but I was positive all the way that he was stealing as I saw him with my own eyes trying to put a can of soda in his jacket on the download. him denying it made me more angry that I grappled him and I was shouting "if your not stealing! then why you are hesitating to show was in your pocket?". then I ended up causing a scene as all the customers where watching. then he decided to admit he was trying to steal the can of soda, and this outraged me a lot more and he jetted out the store as I through a glass bottle at his ass. after that, all the customers that where chicks were excited towards me like I was a celebrity or something. why? why do women get turned when we men act a fool like this?

another time was also at work when I lost my temper with my ex over the phone. I was talking reckless and shouting out curses. at that moment, the hottest chick in the block was in the store(all the guys in the neighborhood were dying for her) and I was always invisible to her but this time as I was spitting fire she was drooling at me. she even walked up to me smiling as this was happening, 3 days later she came in flirting with me and all.


What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • As long as he is NOT yelling at me...yes,i think its super attractive.It just shows that he is not a cuckhold or a jelly backed man as my mum used to say.It shows that he can stand up for himself.There is nothing more unattractive then a guy who allows someone else to run over them.

    I once had a crush on a bartender at a club I frequent.One night,he got into an incident with a customer.The customer slapped him and the next thing I knew,the bartender had wiped the votive candles off the bar,hot wax flying everywhere DARING him to hit again...because he was going to kick the sh*te out of the dude. Now,im not into violence,but the fact that he was relentless and aggressive in the situation automatically upped his attractiveness.So much so that I asked him out a couple of weeks later.I KID YOU NOT.

    Also,somewhere within me,i would be feel that if we were dating (hypothetically) and someone decided to cross some serious lines...he would be able to protect me. Truthfully,i can take care of myself,but its nice to know a guy has the ability to step in and set somebody straight.Scrumptious.

    • Exactly. :)

    • reminds me of the ending in that King Kong sequel that came out in 1986

    • I agee with you :)

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What Girls Said 47

  • My guy used to lose a lot of temper..I truly hated him for doing that. We always fought just because he lost his temper,we had many arguments and finally I ended my relationship with him just because he LOST TOO MUCH OF TEMPER! :/

  • I won't date a guy with a temper.

  • girls like a guy who can stand his own, but we don't like childish boys.

    and the whole justice thing (when you stopped him from stealing something) is kinda like the fairytale thing lol

  • Aggression shows a high level of testosterone. It's based on the primal desire for an alpha male. But TBH I'd actually prefer if the guy hit like a wall versus another person, that sh*t scares me.

  • I do not, and I do not know of any females who do. I just asked the gals in the office, most 24-33 y.o., and they don't either. Hmmm...Must be the company you keep.

  • because it makes you look confident, strong, and she knows she can count on you to protect her. Now most of the time, there's no reason for a guy to protect a girl, but we still like to feel secure around a guy. Please anwser mine.

  • :)))) Well, maybe because you look like a real man when you're angry. It's true also about the protectiveness part! :)

  • Protectiveness is something I adore on guys. But there's a difference between handling a situation and losing your temper. For example, when my guy friend found out that our friend's boyfriend was just a creep who wanted her virginity, he got this stern, angry look on his face and quietly said "He's not touching her." He's very much a pacifist, so he didn't do much, but it was enough.

    On the other hand, my last boyfriend was very protective but he was out of control. It never really happened with me, but he told me about one time a gas station clerk made fun of his ex for being petite, and he went ballistic and started yelling at the clerk to come out from behind the counter and "face him like a man."

    So, I guess, the way I feel is that it's very nice to know when a guy's got my back, but threatening violence at the slightest provocation is too much.

  • MY GOD when is this question EVER gonna go away?!

    • lol

    • is not my fault that people keep answering it. or show lots of interest on it (you as a perfect example)

  • simple girls love a guy that can protect them its a major turn on.

  • It's one of those things where you show your dominance. Some girls like to be over powered and enjoy (most) out-spoken guys (especially ones aiming for justice or that are respecting themselves ie. in the instance of fighting with your ex). It's a sexy-brave complex.

  • Girls do that because

    A:they wanna be smarter than you by comparison.

    B:they like a bad boy.

  • everything listed above are all reasons why I wouldn't date a guy... rage and yelling and unnecessary/avoidable bitch-fits are things I avoid like the ebola virus.

    • she's kind of right... that wouldn't turn me on. maybe they weren't looking at you becuase they were turned on, maybe they were just surprised at how angry you got. like you said you were making a scene. I like guys to be dominant and powerful, it's hot. yelling and cursing is really not.

    • sorry, just a little fed up with some people making me look like a damn barbarian

    • you can either take a moment to realize that you've posted a general question and TWO personal stories and assume I've answered to one of the three, OR you can be a little bitch and take my statement personally.

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  • Truthfully.. Because we imagine the guy bringing some of that agression in the bedroom.

  • Yh I'd think you were a psycho and leave the shop, that isn't the way to handle shoplifting. On the 2nd I'd think you were a psycho and once again leave the shop lol

    I have read a few comments on here and I think girls have it messed up, there is nothing fierce or exciting about someone who looses their cool and acts so unprofessionaly.

    Smashing a bottle after a guy leaving? ding ding ding

    Screaming curse words over the phone at a girlfriend no one can hear her side or know the full picture... ding ding ding

    Those females took you anger for power.. which it isnt. Power is sticking up for yourself and showing dominance without having to raise a finger, use a curse word or raise your voice.

    • amen to this! :p

    • I said and I quote "I'd think you were a psycho" had I been there and witnessed it, not that you ARE a psycho.

    • well, you did reffer to me as a "psycho". anybody with a brain will take that personal

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  • Women love guys that are tough

    • >an heroic action.

      >an heroic

      >an hero

      Ahh I see what you did there!

    • The 1st was an heroic action. I'm sure many people thought I would have done the same thing, or I would have only dreamed of doing that. The 2nd was more of, I am standing up for myself. And that is sexy. I find my man hotter when he does those things.

  • I'm 20 and when I make my husband angry I want him to f*** me immediatly when he is angry like when he gets upset for something ill quickly cheer him up while his angry and ask for sex so while having sex he will still be mad meaning he will f*** me hard so yeah that's nice

    • that's what I'm talking about wen his mad at me

    • What if you were the one he was mad at?

  • I prefer gentle, sweet guys.

    My fiance is the complete opposite.

    He has a very short temper and likes fighting things out.

    I get tired of seeing him bloody and watching him get hurt/hurt others.

    It scares me.

    I am not the kind of girl to jump in on the fight or be like: "Yeah baby, kick his ass!"

    Before it escalates I try to stop him or tell him to walk away.

    But when he's fighting there is nothing I can do except cringe.

    I hate violence especially when it involves someone I care about.

    Why am I with him, then?

    I like it rough in bed- I enjoy being man handled. n_n

    • Nice guys finish last! ^^

    • Of course not. He has plenty of other good points about him besides his anger issues.

    • So you're with him for the sex only?

  • I personally don't get excited at all.

  • I was going to answer this.. but all the girls pretty summed it up.

    guys rarely show any emotion.. and the emotion of anger is very manly and aggressive..you also stand up for yourself (another attractive feature)

    Also it seems like, some find it a turn on some a turn off..

    for me it depends on the situation.. your first example turn on second turn off.

    • Sexism at its finest.

    • So male on male anger and aggression turns you on, but not male on female?

    • I'll never be turned on by a guy losing temper on any woman actually. Even if she was in the exact situation as the guy who was stealing.

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  • If anything that first situation would have made me uncomfortable and worried for the other guys safety, I don't like violence and I hate to see people put their hands on someone else...Being angry and being what I would call overly dramatic is different.

    The second situation I would have just thought you were a bit unprofessional, rude and once again I would have been uncomfortable I don't like a lot of yelling and cursing.

    Some girls like that whole "Oh I'm a man hear me roar" I on the other hand do not, I'm not attracted to "alpha" males at all.

    I like the soft, timid, sweet, coy kind of guy like the most he would do when he's mad is not want to be touched (pushing me away) walking away (even though I'm trying to stop him) gets quite and has that "look" ( maybe a frown or a blank stare) that would turn me on, not some raging lunatic.

    • lol that's exactly how I respond. My face goes blank and I become silent. If I'm really mad, I'll walk away saying nothing.

    • I agree.

  • Because guys don't show their emotions as much so him blowing up is him showing some emotion and B, its kinda sexy to see an angry guy all strong and tough, I feel like he could protect me if need be and he could also handle me in bed sorta thing

  • I've dealt with enough angry guys. TO me it just means you're emotional, which is irritating to be honest. Though that's just in my experience.

  • Guys with a temper are sexy I always attract guys that have a bad temper lol. Plus I kind of like to see what happens when a guy gets angry it says a lot about his character. I think there are a lot of girls like me that are tired of guys having a lot of talk and no action or being around wusses. It's just macho...until it's directed towards you.

  • I think that silly for a girl to drool over a guy yelling at his girl. I guess she likes the idea that might be her someday? Kinda weird if you ask me.

    A man standing up for himself, and those around yes, that's cool.

  • Women like power and a man who's angry is powerful, fierce, and sexy

  • Well its because girls like excitement;) I know when my boyfriend does Something unexpected or really excited, I know I get pretty interested.

  • I personally love when men get angry - they're so aggressive, raw, and ruthless.


    Reminds me of how strong, threatening men can be when they get like that. Plus they tense up all crazy and all those muscles and veins are popping out everywhere lol

    I don't get scared when I guy gets mad at me - I get excited lol, I'm not a pile of female mush ( ugh,) I have no problem going head to head with a man if I have to. Hell I've done it a couple times before, and I think the guys were more shocked at how terrible my temper was then vice versa lol

    Anyway - the sciencey part of me would like to believe that it has something to do with men releasing testosterone at those moments - a surplus of it as his body is preparing to fight if it has to.

    Testosterone and some other hormones / pheremones that are triggered come out through a man's sweat, and usually your pretty hot and fuming at that time. These pheremones trigger attractive responses within women as our bodies sub consciously pick up on the chemical signals. Men are naturally more musky, so he'd be giving off a lot more of these signals then one would think at the time.

    Lol whatever it is -

    I love it. Men just flare up and get so big and intimidating - the man who can beat the f*** out of whomever means he can keep his family safe.

    Now with that said - he can't just be some macho dumb ass who just picks fights for no reason.

    But a man who can hold his own in a fight and stand up for himself?


    • With that said, it doesn't mean that's all men are worth. Each gender just has it's attributes for certain natural duties - ie, women mainly being those who rear the children. And that's fine. However, humans are more complex to just be held accountable to those, meaning either gender isnt' very expendable.

      So sick of people ignoring reality - all we do is end up miserable and unhappy when we do that.

    • Not really. Men were the bigger stronger gender for a reason. So they could be protective. Most of the people who are soldiers aren't women are they? Male dominated jobs are typically those that require hard labor, or aggression ( police officer, UFC fighter etc etc - ) it's like that for a reason.

      Men are built to protect humanity. What's wrong with that?

    • "the man who can beat the f*** out of whomever means he can keep his family safe." - Like a good expendable guard dog.

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  • When they loose it on me. I get scared and cry. On someone else...i get worried. But I like dudes that stand up for themselves.

  • I don't like men with a short temper. I would get scared and upset.. I don't like violence..

    Sometimes, when he gets angry at someone (or me). It shows that he has a spine.

    It's so hot though. Nothing is wrong with angry sex.

    • Yes, very much so.

    • Is that so?

    • It's a good release of tension and I like it really rough.

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  • If a man can stand for himself and handle situations in a cool manner then yea it's a turn on. Like if he comes out of it looking like the better man. A man with passion is hot, but if a guy starts yelling and threatening and making a complete prick out of himself then it's kinda embarrassing. It also kind of encourages men to be more aggressive if women find that attractive.

    • being angry doesn't equal standing up for himself.

    • this

  • Temper is one of the biggest turn OFFs for this girl. The first might be because you seemed like a "hero" and the second -- well, how do you know this chick wasn't eyeing you all along but knew you had a gf?

  • You mean some women. I get put off by men who lose their temper it's very unattractive to me and a sign that he can't control his temper.

  • More of a turn off than a turn on. I like men who stand up for themselves but in a calm mature way.

  • I don't know why that happened. I find men who get angry embarrassing. It's more likely to be a turn on if a man is controlled, with calm control over the situation.

  • nah for me its a big turn off.. I prefer gentle guy but at the same time someone who can protect me also.

  • I do not I tell them to control themselves.

  • I personally do not. I'd take a passive, gentle guy over aggression any day.

    • YES. Short tempers are one of the biggest turn-offs to me, not just because yelling and sh*t is unpleasant, but because it makes me feel unsafe.

    • are you sure?

  • Well my dad always loses his temper with me but he's my dad. But whenever my boyfriend tells me of how he kicked some guy's ass I think it's hot. I agree with pepper01's answer.

  • idk there's something about it that's just sexy and hot as hell! My man got mad at me the other night and it turned me on. I was trying to be serious and respectful of the situation but I really just wanted him to tear my clothes off. I got really excited when he got mad. I don't know what it is, it's just hot. Especially on a guy who never gets mad and is always really sweet. Espeically when the guy gets an intense, fiery look in his eye and a veign pops out of his neck or head.

    • <3

    • great and you went anon -.-

    • wow so that's why you wanted to do stuff afterward xD I wasn't that mad I was just sleepy.

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What Guys Said 21

  • Because most women are retarded animals.

  • Its because some girls look at that as a sign of dominance...it turns girls on to know a man can handle sh*t with authority. Showing them that you have balls to say wats up! Don't let it go to your head buddy...haha

  • First of all, your a goofball. Second of all, drama is lame. A girl shouldn't be into you because you like to be loud and aggressive. Its true, girl's like a powerful and able to handle things kind of man, but it doesn't seem like a way you should use to pick up chicks...its not a strong foundation for a relationship...

  • they probably think it's very fun to watch

  • I was raised to be a 'real' man by my whole family. My uncles and mom would drill it into my head when I was young because I was a fairly emotional kid who cried and throw temper tantrums. I was taught to be respectful and keep your emotions in check but at the same time if the situation arises, then you have to stand up for yourself, be assertive, don't back down and protect the ones you care about.

    So it all depends on the situation. I have short temper and a NASTY mean streak but fighting should be the last resort. If it's an ego battle between you and a drunk guy at a bar, then be the bigger man walk away because he's drunk and have no clue what he's saying. But if someone who's being verbally abusive, etc to your girlfriend / friends, disrespect you or your family, then you should stand up for yourself and defend yourself and others you care about. Don't back down until till he backs off. Only throw the first punch if he does.

  • When you let your anger out like that, it shows your potential as a good catch in a primal sense that maybe our consumerist, bourgeois culture has lost interest in and maybe forgotten. Sometimes gilts like this so much, at such an imbalance and to the neglect of all other things, that they don't mind being hit themselves.

    • "Sometimes gilts like this so much, at such an imbalance and to the neglect of all other things, that they don't mind being hit themselves"

      Oh god that was so beautifully snuck in at the end. Bravo to you, sir. +1

  • irrespective of what women like, being unable to control your emotions is hardly a virtue (though I appreciate violence is sometimes necessary). If women want this link then fine, leave them to it. Thankfully in my experience many women genuinely don't like it.

    • (remove the comma in the link)

  • well the girls who answered have the maturity to see what's going on here, your situation showed you as being a sort of scoundrel, a low-life (other guy was too, but you didn't have to stoop to his level), you could've handled this in a better way, sure there are trashy women out there that love this, but you seem like a bit of a trashy guy yourself so you'll attract in kind, you sound like one of those NY scoundrel type people, like from the bronx, poor, not well educated, etc (don't get mad at me, I'm probably right, I don't mean it in an offensive way)

    also women get turned on by all sorts of ridiculous stuff

  • maybe they think you look sexy, some women might have come up to you but you're exaggerating this whole story

    only idiots resort to voilence, it might have been OK in this situation but don't go around beating people up thinking your going to get chicks, that might work when your a teen, good luck

    • trust me! I'm not stupid and I never said I was gonna do this more often to get chicks. I just did what I had to do at those times. I don't put my life, health, respect and dignity over chicks

  • it is one of those weird things. I have a habit of growling if I get annoyed or frustrated, and about 90% of the time women immediatley seem to gravitate towards me and start being a little mor flirty with me. Especially if we don't know one another well.

    Maybe it's the caveman thing? Angry, strong and territorial means good protector, therefore biologically speaking it's because you would be a father who's very protective of his children (no, this doesn't mean all women are only interested in having kids. It's a biological reaction, not a conscious one)

  • I have no interest in making anger or aggression apart of my life and even less interest in being with a girl who thrives on that. My relationships are always happy healthy and very fulfilling as they are. Smart girls know what to look for in guys and you eventually learn that a short temper is a red flag.

  • HAHAHAHA...nice observation. I once had a girlfriend admit that she came when I lost my sh*t at the scene of a car accident. They're all just little animals.

  • You're making a real assumption there, dude.

    They don't get aroused, they get disgusted.

    • well, sounds typical to a person who was never there to witness it

  • most woman don't like it

  • Then next time I see an attractive woman I'm going to punch the nearest guy right in the face and see what happens. I'll update with results...

  • I'm not sure it's a turn on.

    I'm prone to blinding rage (I have holes in my dry wall) and I myself don't find it particularly attractive.

  • It was not "arousal" - you totally misread it.

    It was either an awe - for someone who stands for himself, but - if there would be another chick in your place the reaction would be the same!

    ...or they were just smirking in amusement - it's not uncommon, as as enraged people actually look like idiots not heroes, so don't take pride in it.

    In fact - if you cannot control your temper, it will be your biggest obstacle to women because they hate men who are prone to have blind rage, especially if the reason is stupid.

    • Bullsh*t. You have no idea what you're talking about, so stop giving advice.

  • i notice more women being turned off by a guy who can't control his emotions...it just means he's still in the habit of behaving like a child...

  • Because they think you'd make a good lap dog.

    barbarossaaaa explains it perfectly - link

    • Beware the female manipulator, friend. Be vigilant.

    • the damn true!

  • thats quite the temper you got lol

    • what are you talking about?

  • because women are pretty backward in terms of development...that's why they go back to men that treat them like trash, you have seen it