Has anyone been called a stalker before? But felt it was uncalled for?

Question

I've been called a stalker 3 times now and it's really hurt my self esteem now. I'm really nervous to talk to women now because I'm afraid they're just going to see me walking up to them and they're just going to point and shout "stalker!" The reason why this hurts me is because stalkers are generally (in my mind) potentially dangerous people who follow and threaten people they're obsessed with. I don't know. I want to believe that these three separate women were all stupid and childish and don't know what they're talking about, but at the same time, I feel like three separate women calling me a stalker isn't just coincidence... So has anyone else out there been called a stalker and felt that it was an unfair label? what was your situation? what did you do to be called that? how did you handle it?

MystiKaL · Accepted Answer

Look it's clear that you ain't a stalker and the first thing you need to put in your head is that you are not a stalker so ignore what they say. I have never been called stalker before and I would imagine it would creep me out if I was ever called that. What I would say is that sometimes women see one thing and the guy is doing another, hence why they shouted these nasty comments to you. So you may have been innocently walking by the same girl twice or more, looked at them, now all you were doing is being innocent but the girl may have thought "is he stalking me?" hence them shouting that to you. There is little you can do about this and I would just say to count yourself unlucky to be called this on 3 seperate occasions if you doing nothing to provoke this. But what I would say is next time a girl calls you this, do say to her "excuse me, this was completely uncalled for. I am not interested in you whatsoever so calling me a stalker is both wrong and hurtful".

In the meantime, don't dwell on this whatsoever. If you have done nothing wrong then you have nothing to be ashamed of.

anon1111 · Accepted Answer

Yes, this term is overused, especially by teenage girls. I knew a girl in college who would casually mention "my stalker" in conversations, and I assumed she literally meant a stalker (some guy who stakes out her house in his car all night, steals articles of clothing from her, and other weird sh*t like that). Found out later that her "stalker" was just an ex-boyfriend that she was still hooking up with and he still loved her but she just wanted sex from him.

I think some girls throw this term around because they crave attention and the idea that a guy would become obsessed with her makes her feel special and important - so she'll tell people she has a "stalker" because she thinks it will give her some bizarre status of desirability. It's pathetic and sad, especially because it cheapens the situation of girls who have actual stalkers who are mentally unbalanced and potentially dangerous.

sweetone · Accepted Answer

I do think people overuse this term..as well as many other terms. But without knowing your situation I can't know if they overused this word or if you were being stalkerish.

I was called a stalker once and even considered myself a slight stalker. I wasn't dangerous but I definitely went out of my way to keep calling him and walking a particular way on campus to "run into him" lol... I was young though and learned a lesson.

Maybe just take it easy with the ladies. Don't over call or do what I did (bumping into them) also never show up to their homes without permission.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

People who throw around the word "stalker" have no idea what it feels like to be actually stalked. I mean, you didn't say what the situations were that led to you being called a stalker, but assuming you weren't STALKING someone or maybe just being obnoxiously persistent, sure it's not fair :P  There are worse things to be called, though...

Babygurl2012 · Accepted Answer

In your case just ignore them drop all contact with them and the girls saying this better be careful who they call a stalker  because people talk there fate as people say they may end up insulting the wrong person and end up being really stalked and no one will believe them

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, dumbass and demented bitchy little teen girls throw it around all the time. 99% of them are the supid and brainless type who only go after boyz and give into peer pressure and stereotypes ( I would say that some of these girls are some serious psychotic nutcasses).

Anyhow, just like any other of their measley and pathetic 'bad girl' act...and just like their meaningless barking (they like to think of themselves as bitches after all)...any other word such as 'stalker' really has no meaning.

Most deserve to get beaten with a bat in their face.

Bruce · Answer

Never been called a stalker, but as a much younger guy (19) I tended to pursue women who had dumped me, and caused me some difficulty...which in this day might have been considered "stalking"...crazy as it seems...but this is how twisted we have become as a society and how we view behaviior

sweet_18 · Answer

Your're not a stalker. The girls just weren't interested but it was uncalled for to call you a stalker. They're just stupid. Don't let them get you down. '

Yes, people do OVERUSE the term. As these girls were doing

Anonymous · Answer

The term stalker is overused.

It also has another meaning to the one you've described. It's in our culture now to call people stalkers just because we've been approached and don't like them.

-- I don't do this, stalkers are only called stalkers if they are actually stalking.

Anonymous · Answer

hmmm, I doubt you are a stalker but that seems a bit to improbable to be called such three separate times.  You definitely need to change your social skills and how you interact with people especially as relationships grow and develop

Babygurl2012 · Answer

Yes by my baby daddy and all I was doing was trying to get him to step up and be a dad

moviedude714 · Answer

I think a lot of people are overuse this word without truly knowing what it is or what the actions or behavior involve it, and I believe a portion of women will accuse a guy or label a guy that because it gives them an ego or a pride boost because it gives them a feeling of status of desirability, they want to use their female gender as being the vulnerable sex and get people to do favors for them, damsel in distress type thing

singer1345 · Answer

yea, i think guys and girls overuse the word stalker, i got called a stalker by a guy who i really like and all sudden he calls me out as a stalker on a podcast for the world to hear and i did nothing wrong , i was just being nice.

Jelly_m · Answer

Being a stalker is not always a bad thing. Personally I think it's a compliment, people call me a stalker all the time and yes the word stalker is overused because my definition of a stalker is someone who's deeply obsessed with another person. But people called me a stalker because I like to do my research. Anyways don't let it get to you.

Has anyone been called a stalker before? But felt it was uncalled for?

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