The love of my life won't fight for me

We met and had a connection instantly, we lived in completely different countries and 1k mi away from each other, we fought against all odds to be together, and everything seemed beyond perfect. This was it, this was the one. We quit our careers and moved to a new place to be together and build a dream life together. Then merely weeks after we live together, he becomes complacent and all romanticism and love go completely out the window. He's still kind, but it feels more like living with a roommate and not the man who fell madly in love with me and moved 5kmi to a different country to be with me. We fight terribly. He constantly hurts my feelings, and when I tell him he does, he becomes defensive. I beg and plead and cry to him that I feel like he doesn't love me, and I feel so alone, and all I want is for him to show me affection and tenderness and care. No matter what I do or say I can't seem to get through to him, and he doesn't hear me. He argues back. I broke up with him, sobbing and exhausted and hopeless, two nights ago. I ended the conversation completely shattered and he was snippy and angry and saying sh*t from the guest bedroom. The only thing he's done since then is leave me a note in the living room saying he's sorry and asking whether I wanted him to leave right away (meaning pack everything he owns and fly back to his country) or stay as a friend and help me however he can. He hasn't done a single thing to fight for me, hasn't reassured me that he loves me or that he DOES want to be with me (aside from the note). I'm in my room completely broken hearted and in our 1k sq foot house he hasn't even come and knocked on the door to try to talk to me. I even slept with my bedroom door open last night. I want him to say he cares, I want him to fight for me, I want him to tell me he loves me and he doesn't want to go and he want's to work through it and be together. But he's doing NOTHING! I know he cares about me but what the hell? DO something? Am I crazy for expecting him to simply come and tell me he loves me and giving me a damn hug? I'm hopeless.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe he doesn't know how to express himself or even show how to love. It seems like you guys moved to fast without fully getting to know each other. If he was from a different country then it would be hard for you to get to know him in person. Now you see his true colors and it seems like he was putting on an act. I don't think he will fight for you. Maybe he just doesn't know how. He seems to be inexperience with girls and how to express himself or what to say. That is the reason why he wrote the note to you because he is holding pride. But you are right he should be trying to comfort you more. His actions seem very weird for a guy. Not all guys are fighters.

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      Thank you very much for selecting my answer as the best answer. I hope things work out for you. And good luck with everything.