Guys, what's the main appeal of a Plain Jane over Barbie girl?

[Anonymous]

In my circle of friends all my plainer girlfriends date MUCH more than me. I actually haven't had a date in 6 months. All of them are either dating or married. I'm tall, skinny, long blond hair and everyone says I look like a model, yet I am never approached.., just stared at at best. I know I look high maintenance next to my friends, but I'm just as nice and friendly...sometimes I think I'm friendlier. I'm also more athletic than them in that I like going to the gym and such. So what's so much more appealing about my friend? Why do guys go for more simple girls over equally nice girlie girls?

Updates

+1 y

I just want to add that I don't do hair and makeup to be a "Barbie" or draw attention to myself. It's just always been my hobby and now my work involves makeup... So that's why I'm usually really done up.

[TheFuture]

Have you ever been turned down by a good looking guy? No? Then you don't know how soul crushing it is to approach a pretty girl and get turned down by her. That's why I don't have a soul.

Seriously though, plain girls are easier mentally for a lot of guys to talk to. Guys are "supposed" to be confident and able to talk to women, and that can give them all these anxieties when they talk to a girl they actually want to be with. Imagine telling a guy you liked you liked him. Unless you're super confident you'll be a nervous that it'll go wrong, he won't like you back, you'll look like a buffoon, your feelings will get crushed., etc. Guys have that nervousness all the time because girls we like are girls we want to sleep with and girls we want to sleep with is any girl that's somewhat attractive. Don't let anyone lie to you otherwise.

Keep being friendly, that helps a lot, or have your girlfriends set you up. Unless you tried that and you haven't enjoyed the results.

[Asker]

I actually have been rejected a lot. Also sometimes I think guys enjoy hurting a girl if she IS more attractive because it makes them feel better about themselves. I guess those are just the typical jerks I've dated. I have been set up once but the guy had a daughter and it just wasn't a right fit because his attention needed to be on her and rightly so. So yea I haven't had a lot of options :/ thanks for your help and advice though = )

[TheFuture]

Well, the guys confident enough to approach a pretty athletic girl is probably used to approaching pretty athletic girls. If you go to school, talk to guys in class you like. If you go to work, talk to coworkers. Unless you have a thing with dating coworkers (you shouldn't). Just talk to people. Unless you're absolutely psychotic (most women are?) or live in a town with only 5 people, you'll find a good guy.

[Mykeroft]

Hey Barbie,

Listen I don't know if you still check this, I'm not even sure why I got an account except to respond to you, but here is the deal:

Humans are weird!

Me, I LOVE the Barbie doll girls! Never get to met them though, EVER!

I currently live in Southern California, I walk from my house to one of the worlds most popular beaches 3-4 days a week, and not once have I gotten the opportunity to speak to the (incredibly rare) hot girl.

I end up dating rather plain girls bc these are the only ones I ever get to enteract with. Occasionally (always when I am in a relationship) I'll meet a woman that rings my bells like how you describe yourself but never when I am single.

Most men like the same things: exaggerated indicators of feminine health such as clear, even toned skin, long clean healthy limbs (not necessarily tall but these are the subconscious cues that tell us the person was well nourished during their childhood), and most of all the ideal waist to hip ratio of.7 or better (I think Barbie is something like.55, which is an incredible exaggeration), throw in a healthy bustline/large firm breasts, and men will typically be falling all over themselves for you.

I've worked in the bar/club scene and never observed a woman matching the above description fail to garner attention, it's up to her to screen the good guys from the bad (and plenty of both do indeed approach, believe it or not good guys usually rent cool though and get grouped with the weird antisocial ones where as bad guys can emulate cool guys, both of which are not the type of guy you want a long term relationship with). Side note, America and the West have been destroyed by cool over good, bc we are so obsessed with entertainment culture.

And again, if you really are a Barbie dream girl, come find me running on the beach in Coronado!

[ricke92m3]

For some guys it is intimidating. They figure that they are not good enough for the model type so don't go for them. It is very common for the extremely attractive women to go dateless. Just out of curiosity, what is your type, what do you like in a guy physically and otherwise?

[Asker]

Well physically - I'm really tall...so I obviously prefer pretty tall guys. I love running and going to the gym so I expect him to be pretty athletic because I think something like going to the gym or running marathons together is something I'd like to share with someone.

I've dated high personality guys and extremely quiet guys...both have pro's and con's so I'm not picky about that as long as we see eye to eye on most ideas about life in general, politics, etc.

[Asker]

I have no preference about what he does for a living. Income isn't a big deal because I've always been pretty independent in that regard. I just want him to make enough to help support us equally in the future.

I want him to have goals+dreams...even if it was something small like owning a donut shop or something random like that. It would really mean something about him as a person in the bigger picture.

Overall I want a good companion that views me as the completion of themself and I him.

[ricke92m3]

Most of the things you said are really great, but what scares a lot of guys is that part about athletic. Most guys think (and in many cases are right) that model types want a guy 2% body fat, six pack, and model face. That's what causes a lot of guys to turn away from the really hot girls and go for your average girl (not me I honestly go for whoever I want ;)

[Asker]

Yea I completely get what you're saying. Not that it makes a difference in real day-to-day life, but I do want to tell you here that I in no way consider myself to be the most athletic girl in the world so I don't expect that from the guy. I just want him to be fit and acticely doing something to stay in shape, but he definitely doesn't have to have a six pack or 2% body fat. My ex was in shape, but he had a beefy stomach and no obvious muscle tone. I thought his body was great. = )

[ricke92m3]

Cool, you should check me out and tell me what you think. And don't worry, I can take criticism if that's what it is, I'm a big boy ;)

[Anonymous]

I kind of know what you mean but I'm the quiet type.
My glamour and plain friends get more play than me

I dress somewhat fashionable and get called pretty a lot by acquaintances strangers esp if I'm being hit on

Less attractive or bad quality guys use to approach but now things have changed. I'm a little more talkative and have higher confidence/esteem

I still haven't kissed a guy but I have much better quality men coming my way than eve before. Then again I got older so maybe my maturity level changed

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Well to be honest, a guy is gonna feel intimidated by a girl that much hotter than him. If you're a Barbie then you kinda need a Ken to match. Well maybe G.I. Joe since Ken was a bit "HOW You DOIN". Basically the average guys are gonna go for average girls. maybe you need to change your environment and put yourself around more high status guys. if you're really pretty then you need to be going for hotter guys or richer guys because the more average guys are gonna feel intimidated by you.

[Konnour]

That's weird.. I honestly prefer girlie "Barbie" girls over Plain Janes, also many of the answers from other guys here what they prefer seem very strange to me, are you from the USA by the way?

The reason why it's like that is because most of guys around your area are too intimidated to approach you or/and assume(!) that you have a bad personality if you're also 'high-maintenance'

[Asker]

Yes, I'm from the States. I'm glad I'm someone's type. = )

[TimmyThomas]

Well a couple things, if you are very attractive then guys will be intimidated by you because they insecure. Second, if you are a 'barbie' then most guys think you look fake and they don't like that. Third, men are generally attracted to women like there mothers, and not a lot of us have Elle McPherson for a mom.

[johnnyj2017]

Elle Macpherson is average looking woman happened to be a model.

[aaron886]

Don't kill yourself trying to LOOK good. If you look good, you look good without a bunch of makeup. Believe it or not men DO have particular tastes in women, so don't feel like every guy SHOULD go after you for your looks, but don't because of some personality flaw. Just be friendly and don't sit around waiting for guys to talk to you... that doesn't work. Good luck hon

[Anonymous]

Well I think the "plain look" brings more of the girl you take home feel. The "high maintenance" look to me gives me the feel of like blowing money and very expensive dates. And when sh*t gets tough you are out of there. Also plain jane is like the sit at home and chill watch a movie type. When HM is going out a lot

[Asker]

I get it, but I hope reading this kind of opens your perception a bit because I'm not like that at all. I actually paid for everything for my last boyfriend because he was a deadbeat and I still feel like I can't do any better. Staying in and just spending time with a nice guy would be my dream date. :/ I hate being alone

[Opinion Owner]

Thats just my opinion. I give everyone a chance. Whether they be HM, LM, fun, etc etc but its their decision on what they do with my impression of them. If tyhat makes sense

[c7777]

There could be a million reasons to explain this.. we wouldn't really know unless we knew you personally. I'm not bad looking at all. But iv never even kissed a girl..not gay either. Could be bad luck, maybe guy feel like they would have to get to know you better before going out with you...tonnes of reasons

[TimmyThomas]

Thank god the dude that never kissed a girl is giving out advice on how to land a mate. LOL

[c7777]

i never gave any advice about that... do you know how to read?

[c7777]

I lied too... I kissed my mom once.. what now son

[Anonymous]

Many guys don't like what looks like high maintenance. If it's a nice day, you don't want someone wanting you to keep the convertible top up so her hair doesn't get messed up. Making you wait a half hour while she gets gussied up for a trip to the market. Get's up a couple hours early to paint on a face for work instead of spending that time cuddling. Basically when you see a cute plain jane, she just seems like much less work, and after being out in the world all day a guy likes the idea of a chill relaxing home environment and a high maintenance looking girl doesn't convey that probability.

[ObscuredBeyond]

1. They're more open.

2. They're more in number.

3. They seem more knowledgeable.

4. They're more practical.

5. They're more fertile.

6. Guys will drool over what they want, but will settle for what they think they deserve.

[1-3-2-4]

^ What he said

[joystickhappy]

It's probably because guys think you're too good for them, and out of their league so they don't bother to try. You may have to be the one who approaches so they don't think you're not interested.

[0ddjob]

I'm not saying that this is true in your case, but my experience and the perception of most guys I know is that the higher the Barbie quotient is, the higher the maintenance/drama quotient is.

[Anonymous]

The hope is that the plain Jane isn't as high maintenance or has hopped on as many d***s as the Barbie girl.

[Asker]

That's the other crazy thing... They are all wayyy more experienced than me. I'm still a virgin :/

[Opinion Owner]

And you're in the 18-24 range, eh? A bit surprising.

I guess it's usually best to assume the sexual history is about the same no matter what the physical appearance of the girl is.

[johnnyj2017]

Guys go for low-hanging fruits/attainable types of women that's why they love these plain Janes.