My girlfriend and I have known each other for almost 8 years. Although, we have only been dating for the past 2.5 years. Strangely enough, we started dating during the only part of our lives that we lived apart from each other. She moved away to another state for work, and we began dating. Recently, she moved home (its been 3 months now) and for the first time, we are in a close distance relationship as more than friends.
I am very close with my family and since I live a few hours away from them, I see them once a month and sometimes two at the most. That is how it has been for the past 6 years since I moved away from school and work. Since my girlfriend has moved close to me for her new job, I have caught her repeatedly telling me it is so weird I want to hang around my family so much (1 or 2 nights a month, where I may spend the night at their house is NOT a lot in my opinion, maybe I am weird though). I have told my girlfriend that this is how I stay close to my family, and that I am a big family person. I have told her I would love for her to go visit them with me... I am also very open to visiting her family, although she rarely ever goes and sees them. That is how she has always been though.
In addition, Tuesdays and Thursday nights, I have had a "guys" night where all of my friends get together and grill out, hang out, play soccer, just do something active! All these friends and I have been close since elementary school, so its just a normal bonding routine.
The significance to the friend portion comes into play because although my girlfriend is says she is okay with me hanging out with my friends and family. Every time I do, she will text me or call me saying she had the worst day ever at work, or she is not feeling good, or she desperately needs me, she then proceeds to ask me to come see her while I am in the middle of hanging out with family and friends hours away. When I am not away, she thinks it is extremely weird that I do not want to spend the night at her apartment every single night. I am the type of person that likes alone time, she refuses to come to my apartment, and expects me to always be at hers because she has a cat to tend too. In addition to that, she is VERY okay with hanging out with her friends at any moment, but as soon as my friends are brought into the equation she quickly changes the subject or says no to hanging with them.
Is she extremely needy? Is there something that I am missing here? Am I in the wrong to want to even see my family or hang out with my friends? Should I also want to stay with her at her apartment every single night? It is getting to the point where I just want TONS of alone time because I am feeling caged and I do not think that is right.
I am very close with my family and since I live a few hours away from them, I see them once a month and sometimes two at the most. That is how it has been for the past 6 years since I moved away from school and work. Since my girlfriend has moved close to me for her new job, I have caught her repeatedly telling me it is so weird I want to hang around my family so much (1 or 2 nights a month, where I may spend the night at their house is NOT a lot in my opinion, maybe I am weird though). I have told my girlfriend that this is how I stay close to my family, and that I am a big family person. I have told her I would love for her to go visit them with me... I am also very open to visiting her family, although she rarely ever goes and sees them. That is how she has always been though.
In addition, Tuesdays and Thursday nights, I have had a "guys" night where all of my friends get together and grill out, hang out, play soccer, just do something active! All these friends and I have been close since elementary school, so its just a normal bonding routine.
The significance to the friend portion comes into play because although my girlfriend is says she is okay with me hanging out with my friends and family. Every time I do, she will text me or call me saying she had the worst day ever at work, or she is not feeling good, or she desperately needs me, she then proceeds to ask me to come see her while I am in the middle of hanging out with family and friends hours away. When I am not away, she thinks it is extremely weird that I do not want to spend the night at her apartment every single night. I am the type of person that likes alone time, she refuses to come to my apartment, and expects me to always be at hers because she has a cat to tend too. In addition to that, she is VERY okay with hanging out with her friends at any moment, but as soon as my friends are brought into the equation she quickly changes the subject or says no to hanging with them.
Is she extremely needy? Is there something that I am missing here? Am I in the wrong to want to even see my family or hang out with my friends? Should I also want to stay with her at her apartment every single night? It is getting to the point where I just want TONS of alone time because I am feeling caged and I do not think that is right.
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