Ugly girls cannot afford to be seen as stuck up because the only thing they have going for them is their personality. So naturally, if they lost that, they wouldn't be able to attract people to them. Also, ugly girls are usually aware that they're not "pretty" and that often makes them insecure and desperate for validation and so they try harder in social interactions and that makes them likeable and approachable. Because of society's beauty standards and because we are wired biologically to seek an attractive mate, being rejected by ugly girls is not perceived by guys as that painful whereas being rejected by a beautiful girl is. Being beautiful significantly increases your status whether you want it or not because unlike personality beauty is not something that can be hidden (unless you try really hard to make yourself ugly) and if you're smart too that just makes you even more "valuable". Of course that means that people are attracted to you and seek your attention and validation. The problem is that if you are introverted and/or maybe somewhat insecure, you really don't want that attention so you try to hide away. That makes people feel rejected by you, makes them feel inferior (hurts their ego) and in order to feel better they comfort themselves thinking that you're "stuck up". Maybe as a high value person you also are selective about who you interact with but there is nothing wrong with that. The reason why you are probably bothered by being seen as "stuck up" is because you want to be liked and care what other people think about you but don't have to. You don't have to care what other people think about you because it doesn't matter. Their opinion of you is not who you are. However, I cannot stop you from caring so there are three choices you can make - 1. You continue doing what you've been doing so far, 2. You act like an ugly girl and really try hard to interact with people and be the center of attention, 3. You just own who you are, what you like and dislike but still make some effort to not shy away from the spotlight and be more real and upfront instead of "nice".
Good luck!
Most Helpful Opinions
Ok so I got to your question by searching this similar topic on google because I basically have the same problem.
It probably won't matter because it has been a year since you posted this question but if it means anything,I can completely relate to you.
Two weeks ago I met a great guy and we soon became close and one of the things he told me is that when he first saw me,he thought I was incredibly stuck up. I don't know what made him think that but it got me thinking and by talking to friends I realized he wasn't the only person I made such a first impression on.
I do not think of myself as a hot mess neither do I think I have a posture of such a person. I just don't have the energy to smile at everybody all the time. I had a hard time becoming confident,learning to believe a compliment and actually realising what I'm worth. And now that I finally have people have started to look at me differently,or at least I finally noticed that which made me feel good about myself finally. So now I learnt that girls who actually know their worth so often come off as conceited. There is a big difference between being conceited and being confident. So as a person who used to put herself down a lot,I know how much such opinions of other people often hurt and mean to us. So before anything,don't judge a book by its cover.
There's a couple of reasons why people make assumptions about beautiful girls:
- Some of them do use their looks for gain (could be discounts at stores, getting promotions at work, lots of free dates/drinks, etc.)
- A good looking girl intimidates a LOT of men, who in turn, sometimes make up "reasons" as to why she isn't a nice girl just to cover their own excuses for not approaching her or asking her out
- Some attractive girls aren't friendly, just like the not so attractive ones, there's no one-size-fits-all
- Girls are incredibly competitive creatures when it comes to looks, and some of them feel (sadly) the need to tear down other girls to "build" themselves up
- It is natural for all people to want to stare at what we find attractive, that's biology at play, excessive staring, well, that's not quite as polite, but it doesn't mean that staring is unnatural
- It sounds like you are sort of closed off with your body language (avoiding eye contact, not smiling that often, etc.) and that is a surefire way to get people to make assumptions about you
Attractive people are assumed to be confident about themselves. If you aren't, or you try to close people off if you aren't interested in maintaining an open body language stance, and people will assume that you're "too good for the rest of us". I've seen it happen many times before and even had to correct a few girlfriends as to why it is people were seeing them in a bad light, even if they weren't bad people.
1 - It's not up to you to determine whether or not you are considered physically attractive, it's up to other people.
2 - Beautiful people = People becoming attracted to you
People attracted to you = Getting what you want
Getting what you want = Becoming spoiled
Becoming spoiled = stuck up and conceited personality
3 - Your posture, your fashion sense, many of these things that you just stated have nothing to do with being stuck up and conceited. Stuck up and conceited is a mental frame of mind, not how you physically carry yourself or dress. A person can slouch and dress terribly and still be full of themselves.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
well honestly, this question doesn't exactly radiate humility either...
Because they usually are
THEY'RE INSECURE
Because they can have any guy they want.
Learn more
Most Helpful Opinions