Calling your girlfriend a bitch.

so. first things first. I just know I'm stubborn and can overreact. but I believe in this case I didn't overreact. I did what was needed to be done. so my boyfriend at the time is an amazing person. super sweet. but didn't fit my lifestyle. ( families were grown up differently etc.) well he's nice to me 98% of the time. but he has a terrible temper. which I understand he's a guy. but recently he's been telling me I'm stupid an idiot and once he told me to shut the f*** up in public. when he said that I told him if he ever talked to me like that again I would leave him and I'm not a random girl he can talk to like that. so he apologized a thousand times. and all this stuff. then one night I told him I would come over later that night. I ended up falling asleep. (super busy with work and family) and I woke up at 10 and texted him sorry baby. I fell asleep. and he wrote back to me. "OK bitch your a liar etc" as soon as I read those words I was done trying in our relationship. did I overreact? I am not taking him back at all I've given him so many chances. these weren't the only times he was emotionally abusive to me either. but I just want to know how many girls out there have been treated this way and how many guys have done that and why did you do it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Personally, I've rarely been mad enough to call any woman that, (in the heat of the moment in traffic, some woman I don't know, I've used the word, I'm sure, but otherwise, no), and certainly not a girlfriend. I had a girlfriend who admitted to being one to me; she used the words, I never did. Nor did I really think of her as one - she was nasty a lot of the time, and out of control many times; but I haven't thought of a girlfriend as that; not even a girl who rejected me in a nasty way.

    If you don't want to be talked to in that way, and that's a deal breaker, then it's a deal breaker. In my impression you had every right to let him know where the line should be drawn; personally, cussing me out like that would be a deal breaker. I certainly don't want to be at a position in life where I'd talk to a future girlfriend or wife in that way, and I hope I never become someone who talks to his love like that.

    What would also be a deal breaker for me is if a girlfriend were to accuse me of being a liar, right off the cuff, without any proof. That'd be too much distrust; trust needs to be a priority in a healthy relationship.

    So if you don't want someone who will talk to you like that, then just know that there are guys out there who won't talk to you like that. Nor should you be expected that it's "acceptable." They may be rarer, and you may have to broaden the scope of who you'd date to get them (I don't mean "settling"), but they do exist, and I'm sure there is someone out there who can control how he treats people in a healthier way.

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    • thanks love :) you made me feel great

What Guys Said 20

  • You did the RIGHT thing here. You have something a lot of girls your age lack (and desperately need): self-respect. And you wisely DEMAND to be respected, which is VERY important in a relationship. You gave him a fair warning that you would not tolerate being disrespected like that, and he crossed the line and you backed up your words with action. That's exactly what you should have done.

    He knows HE fvcked up, and he knows exactly why you broke up with him, and maybe the loss of you will be the catalyst that helps him change his attitude. And maybe he'll continue to be a jerk and not learn anything from it. Either way, he may be hurt and upset over the break-up, but he will respect you for doing it, even if he won't admit it and even if he acts otherwise. And the people that he tells the story to will respect you too, because you stood up for yourself.

    Girls should NOT put up with a guy who doesn't respect them, EVER. And the same for guys: if your girl doesn't respect you, dump her and move on. Let those people learn that their actions have consequences, and that you won't put up with a lack of respect in your relationships, no matter who they are to you. Demand respect, and you'll get it most of the time, and the people who won't get cut out of your life.

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  • What I'd like to know is what caused your boyfriend to call you bad names and tell you to stfu in public.

    Of course, you won't say. Not a problem.

    Hope he finds a new girl who's willing to communicate better and not leave him hanging.

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    • he has a small anger problem. I did everything for him. I drove to his house everyday to see him. he didn't have to drive. I spent money on him. yet he almost never did. I tried to talk to him when we would have problems but he would walk away. I hope he finds a new girl too. I just hope he changes before he does because he's psycho. he's 22 and I'm 18 and he keeps sending me harassting texts and phone calls.wont leave me alone. he's emotionally abusive and that isn't a good relationship.

    • oh and also. we went to go see some of his family. he ended up callin them once and couldn't find him so he became aggressive and pissed off and I said calm down baby well find em. and that's when he told me to shut the f*** up. then I fell asleep at my friends house one night. because I was beyond tired with work family and school. and I couldn't see him it was already too late. and I told him sorry baby I fell asleep ill talk to you tomorow.and that's when he says I'm a bitch. and a lier and etc

  • He's being verbally abusive, and clearly isn't sorry about how he acts.

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  • No, your reaction was fine. I wouldn't call my girl a bitch simply out of respect. Also if I'm at the stage of calling anyone a bitch, I've long passed the stage of wanting to break up with them, I don't name call for the sake of it, that's just childish.

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  • You didn't overreact.

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What Girls Said 11

  • Don't doubt yourself! You did what was right for you, self-preservation.

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  • Kudos for walking away.

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  • That shouldn't be tolerated

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  • You did the right thing! It's too bad you didn't do it way sooner, but with abusive people like that you believe their apologies and hope for the best next time, but it never goes away. So good for you! It hasn't happened to me, but I can give you a different point of view. When I was younger (about 15), I was the emotionally unstable one who would annoy the sh*t out of my boyfriend. I did it because I was never fully sure of our relationship and was really immature and couldn't handle normal relationship problems. I got over it though, and now my current boyfriend gets the best of me. I just needed time to grow up and realize my mistakes, even though at the time I was convinced our breakup was his fault.

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  • "but he has a terrible temper. which I understand he's a guy" Being a guy isn't an excuse to act irrational when angry or disrespect you. You weren't wrong for walking away and your response to that text was normal.

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    • okay good :) thank u

    • "He's a guy" lol that's not fair, I don't have a terrible, not even bad temper, and I'm a guy xD lol

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