Calling your girlfriend a bitch.

so. first things first. I just know I'm stubborn and can overreact. but I believe in this case I didn't overreact. I did what was needed to be done. so my boyfriend at the time is an amazing person. super sweet. but didn't fit my lifestyle. ( families were grown up differently etc.) well he's nice to me 98% of the time. but he has a terrible temper. which I understand he's a guy. but recently he's been telling me I'm stupid an idiot and once he told me to shut the f*** up in public. when he said that I told him if he ever talked to me like that again I would leave him and I'm not a random girl he can talk to like that. so he apologized a thousand times. and all this stuff. then one night I told him I would come over later that night. I ended up falling asleep. (super busy with work and family) and I woke up at 10 and texted him sorry baby. I fell asleep. and he wrote back to me. "OK bitch your a liar etc" as soon as I read those words I was done trying in our relationship. did I overreact? I am not taking him back at all I've given him so many chances. these weren't the only times he was emotionally abusive to me either. but I just want to know how many girls out there have been treated this way and how many guys have done that and why did you do it?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Personally, I've rarely been mad enough to call any woman that, (in the heat of the moment in traffic, some woman I don't know, I've used the word, I'm sure, but otherwise, no), and certainly not a girlfriend. I had a girlfriend who admitted to being one to me; she used the words, I never did. Nor did I really think of her as one - she was nasty a lot of the time, and out of control many times; but I haven't thought of a girlfriend as that; not even a girl who rejected me in a nasty way.

    If you don't want to be talked to in that way, and that's a deal breaker, then it's a deal breaker. In my impression you had every right to let him know where the line should be drawn; personally, cussing me out like that would be a deal breaker. I certainly don't want to be at a position in life where I'd talk to a future girlfriend or wife in that way, and I hope I never become someone who talks to his love like that.

    What would also be a deal breaker for me is if a girlfriend were to accuse me of being a liar, right off the cuff, without any proof. That'd be too much distrust; trust needs to be a priority in a healthy relationship.

    So if you don't want someone who will talk to you like that, then just know that there are guys out there who won't talk to you like that. Nor should you be expected that it's "acceptable." They may be rarer, and you may have to broaden the scope of who you'd date to get them (I don't mean "settling"), but they do exist, and I'm sure there is someone out there who can control how he treats people in a healthier way.

    • thanks love :) you made me feel great

What Guys Said 20

  • You did the RIGHT thing here. You have something a lot of girls your age lack (and desperately need): self-respect. And you wisely DEMAND to be respected, which is VERY important in a relationship. You gave him a fair warning that you would not tolerate being disrespected like that, and he crossed the line and you backed up your words with action. That's exactly what you should have done.

    He knows HE fvcked up, and he knows exactly why you broke up with him, and maybe the loss of you will be the catalyst that helps him change his attitude. And maybe he'll continue to be a jerk and not learn anything from it. Either way, he may be hurt and upset over the break-up, but he will respect you for doing it, even if he won't admit it and even if he acts otherwise. And the people that he tells the story to will respect you too, because you stood up for yourself.

    Girls should NOT put up with a guy who doesn't respect them, EVER. And the same for guys: if your girl doesn't respect you, dump her and move on. Let those people learn that their actions have consequences, and that you won't put up with a lack of respect in your relationships, no matter who they are to you. Demand respect, and you'll get it most of the time, and the people who won't get cut out of your life.

  • What I'd like to know is what caused your boyfriend to call you bad names and tell you to stfu in public.

    Of course, you won't say. Not a problem.

    Hope he finds a new girl who's willing to communicate better and not leave him hanging.

    • he has a small anger problem. I did everything for him. I drove to his house everyday to see him. he didn't have to drive. I spent money on him. yet he almost never did. I tried to talk to him when we would have problems but he would walk away. I hope he finds a new girl too. I just hope he changes before he does because he's psycho. he's 22 and I'm 18 and he keeps sending me harassting texts and phone calls.wont leave me alone. he's emotionally abusive and that isn't a good relationship.

    • oh and also. we went to go see some of his family. he ended up callin them once and couldn't find him so he became aggressive and pissed off and I said calm down baby well find em. and that's when he told me to shut the f*** up. then I fell asleep at my friends house one night. because I was beyond tired with work family and school. and I couldn't see him it was already too late. and I told him sorry baby I fell asleep ill talk to you tomorow.and that's when he says I'm a bitch. and a lier and etc

  • He's being verbally abusive, and clearly isn't sorry about how he acts.

  • No, your reaction was fine. I wouldn't call my girl a bitch simply out of respect. Also if I'm at the stage of calling anyone a bitch, I've long passed the stage of wanting to break up with them, I don't name call for the sake of it, that's just childish.

  • You didn't overreact.

  • I understand what you did, the word bitch is not a word to be said to all girls, you have given enough chances for his to change, but my question is, do you really love him? because leaving a person because of a problem is not a good choice, me and my girlfriend argue a lot, she also hurt my feelings when she spoke words that makes me feel bad and disrespected and keep on breaking up with me every time she's so angry, but i never give up, i still believe that she would change for me and I'm helping her for our relationship, I don't revenge on her everytime she does all of her mistakes, I could just forgive her, I don't call her words that make her offended, I can't even say bad words to her even she do to me, I really respect her so much. mistakes are obstacles, but bad hobbies that never change ruin the relationship

  • Your reaction was definitely valid! That was a complete douchebag move on the part of your ex boyfriend. He definitely deserved that. His temper is definitely something you should be careful about. In the case, that he may try to find you. Not trying to scare you! I'm just being honest, that's all. But yes, find someone better than him.

  • tell me why are you asking if you overreacted? do you feel like you did, and why?

    • he won't stop calling me and texting me. its hurting me inside. but I know I deserve better it doesn't mean the process is easy tho

  • Alright sweetie, I've never done anything like that to my girl, really I worship the ground she walks on :)

    Ummm, no, I don't think you're overreacting, at all.

    A guy should treat his girl with respect, not only his GF, but every girl.

    I Don't Know how a woman or a guy for that matter would look at this, but I (I consider myself as a romantic guy, also very carrying and loving and respectful) would find that kind of behavior unacceptable.

    If you ever considered a breakup, you should do it, cause if you have ever considered it, he's definitely not the right guy for you, you feel me?

    Well best of luck.


    • i broke up with him already I just wanted some opinions. thank you for helping me<3

    • Show All
    • aww thank u. your such a sweetheart (:

    • Tnx :D

      And no prob :]

  • Nah I think you're good. You have to set boundaries in relationships, and if you're not true to yourself, who can you be true to?

  • I did call a girlfriend a bitch before, because she started taking me for granted and am not going to put up with someone like that. I'm usually nice as well but if a girl pushes my buttons I will call her out and leave her.

  • Run away... and into my loving arm.

  • I called my girl a bitch and now she won't even talk to me. It seems like the only time do is when she makes me mad like. Like she told she hadn't taken a shower in 3 days because she didn't feel like it. I called her a nasty bitch out of anger didn't mean too it just came out. Later she told me that she had just been taking wash ups cause she's been tired but she didn't tell me that before. I asked for her forgiveness but she won't talk to me or have anything to do with me right now. Its been 4 days i dont think i deserve the silent treatment for just a word. If she keeps it up im going to move on. I aslo called her a lazy bitch before because it was a cake that had been sitting in a bowl for over a month. I go to lift the lid up and bugs fly out i just was mad that she let the cake sit there for that long.

  • Bitch is just a word and if someone is being a bitch then they are being a bitch

  • Here we go with another my Boyfriend called me a bad name, I'm not taking him back. LOL you'll take him back sooner or later. You just like all the others.

  • Most likely you did the right thing. Unless you showed him reason before that you should not be trusted then he should not of called you a bitch and a liar. Even is you showed him you were not to be trusted then it is still inappropriate unless you treated him very badly and only you know if you did. I suspect that you treated him somewhat decent and did not lie to him often or at all.

  • That's how immature guys react. OK or not is up to u. Not a huge deal if you don't make it a huge deal. But also don't take that kind of disrespect. He was obviously waiting for you the entire time and as soon as you texted him, that was his reaction without thinking. He really believed that you were doing something else and forgot about him and made up an excuse saying you fell asleep. Clearly you 2 are young and hot and dumb and I'm jealous.

  • You deserve so much more than that. From your pic, it's obvious that you're super cute so you'll have no problem finding another guy :) Just don't pick a d-bag this time. I bet your guy is hot, but look for more than just that next time! I'm a guy but I would never call my girl a bitch, so don't give excuses for his temper... if you move to MN I'll show ya what a real guy is :P

    • omg I just puked reading this desperate ass kissing... disgusting!

    • I was just joking haha!

  • he is an insecure wimp who feels the need to put a woman down in order to feel manlier. I pity him.

    • pity yourself dude.. you anonymously suck up to women to try to get on their good side!

    • LOL what a joke you are. why would I need to suck up to internet girls? doesn't make any sense :D I pity her ex boyfriend because he's a insecure p**** coward. he is unable to compete with guys/is inferior to guys and that's why he feels the need to pick on a girl. that's very pathetic.

What Girls Said 11

  • Don't doubt yourself! You did what was right for you, self-preservation.

  • Kudos for walking away.

  • That shouldn't be tolerated

  • You did the right thing! It's too bad you didn't do it way sooner, but with abusive people like that you believe their apologies and hope for the best next time, but it never goes away. So good for you! It hasn't happened to me, but I can give you a different point of view. When I was younger (about 15), I was the emotionally unstable one who would annoy the sh*t out of my boyfriend. I did it because I was never fully sure of our relationship and was really immature and couldn't handle normal relationship problems. I got over it though, and now my current boyfriend gets the best of me. I just needed time to grow up and realize my mistakes, even though at the time I was convinced our breakup was his fault.

  • "but he has a terrible temper. which I understand he's a guy" Being a guy isn't an excuse to act irrational when angry or disrespect you. You weren't wrong for walking away and your response to that text was normal.

    • okay good :) thank u

    • "He's a guy" lol that's not fair, I don't have a terrible, not even bad temper, and I'm a guy xD lol

  • Good Job for walking away, it was the right decision.

  • Its never OK to call a woman that

  • I have totally been in this situation before and trust me it sucks, especially when it happens out of nowhere, I grew up with three brothers and never have any one of them ever called me a bitch even when we got into fights (and trust me they got bad) so when I my boyfriend at the time called me a bitch for the first time I couldn't even react because it was so strange for him to act like that, and like you I was done, there wasn't enough words and apologies he could say for me to come back , if a guy truly likes you he would never utter those words, if he wouldn't do it to his mother than he shouldn't do it to you, my dad always told me watch how a guy treats his mother if he treats his mother like a queen then he will 9 times out 10 treat you like a princess. So to sum it all up no I don't think you overracted. You had every right to dump his ass.

    • thanks girl. all you ladies make me feel so much bettter about my decision. its just hard wakin up everyday knowing I'm not with him you kno? ill get over it tho. time heals everyhting right? thank you <3

  • That's so mean and you shouldn't tolerate disrespect

  • Been there done that with a guy. He was verbally and emotionally abusive. Turned into physical abuse.

    Wasted time with him. Promised marriage etc.

    So THANKFUL that I've finally learned my lesson.

    Be careful with him. You're a beautiful girl you can find lots of guys that won't talk to you like that and treat you right!

    • thanks girl. that was my number one fear and my friends that he was going to get physical with me. I had to leave. I couldn't handle the emotional abuse. good that you left. I always thought it was so easy to say leave him until I was stuck in such a position. I don't ever want to be treated like that again.

  • No I don't think you over reacted, he know that you like to be respected and he should learned from the previous experience that those type of words don't go with you, so if he continued he deserves the break up