Do guys really like the more reserved and quiet girls?

[Anonymous]

i know it varies. some guys like the shy and innocent girls, some prefer the loud outgoing girls. but then you have the quiet girls who aren't shy, they're just quiet. they're more into their own little world and are independent.

it seems like I get more male attention now that I became less of a pushover. I'm still extremely quiet and introverted but I can do things for myself now. I'm pretty smart in my classes and always do things for myself. I rarely ask for help. outside of class I'm always alone, and I do lots of things by myself.

im a friendly person, but I'm not much of a talker, yet people still want to talk to me. before, people would give up talking to me because I'm so quiet. now, some people don't give up. its very nice of them to be patient actually. its kind of nice. :D there's even a guy in class who always makes an effort to talk to me, even though I don't talk much. and its not like I mean to be so cold but my social anxiety doesn't let me talk any more. I don't want to bore people.

so idk, do guys really like the quiet mysterious girls? wouldn't they just give up as they saw how quiet I am?

[MrOracle]

Many guys like girls like this, and would happily date them, but it can be very hard to get to know shy people at first (girls have the same problem with shy guys), so the biggest barrier is breaking the ice and getting those first couple of conversations going. That means you, as the shy person, will probably have to make the effort in the beginning.

A lot of shy people don't realize that their shyness is usually misinterpreted as disinterest or even as being stuck up. When someone doesn't respond to your initial advances, it's natural to assume the worst ("she hates me!") instead of thinking "Hmm... maybe she's shy." That's why it's so important that shy folks work on breaking the ice when they find themselves interested in someone.

Once you are comfortable around the other person, and let them get to know you, you'll find that many guys are very happy with quiet, smart, independant girls. Especially once they realize that the girl actually likes them back...

[Asker]

yeah I know my shyness may come off as rude or disinterested so I'm working on it. I'm trying to gain some social skills but its really difficult. I have gotten a little better at this. I just have to keep trying.

its just that I worry that I will not be liked if people get to know me really well.

[MrOracle]

That might happen in a few cases (hey, everyone is different, and not everyone will like everyone else), but in the majority of the cases, people will like you MORE once they get to know you better.

[McQueen]

Unfortunately, these girls are few and far between. When I do come across one, they're actually easy to ignore because they never speak up. I will always make an effort to talk to people, but it's easy to assume that because someone's quiet she doesn't want to speak.

I failed to realize this type of girl was in front of me only a weeks ago, same reason as above. I obviously like these type of girls, but I wouldn't say there's mystery to it. I feel I can trust them more easily. Ironically, I like girls to be talkative and funny and is the best way to seduce me - someone who can brighten my day.

To conquer this, you've got to declare yourself out there. You don't have to be loud and obnoxious, but remind people that you exist. I used to have this problem to and it was the only to dispel rumours of myself going around. Quiet people are feared by the loud people, because you can't be deciphered as easily - they use their imagination to build a pessimistic picture.

[Asker]

yeah I actually try to go unnoticed most of the time but its not that easy. people always want to strike up a conversation with me. the thing is, I don't know how, which is what makes me give small answers. I feel rude for doing that, but I can't help it. its not like I want to be that way.

but yeah I know what you mean. I get angry looks by girls, because they probably think I'm stuck up. once they start talking to me, they start being nicer, because I'm not stuck up at all.

[McQueen]

There's a few simple trick to chit-chatting. I've had to test out a few psychological methods (I don't think the way most people think). Acting clumsy lowers people's defences; constantly joking makes you more approachable; putting a smile on declares peace around people; serious conversations challenges people's intellect and they don't want to risk looking stupid, so it's best to keep politics and religion for essays; acting dominant pisses people off; acting weak will feed their egos...

[Asker]

thats true. sometimes I have my clumsy moments and people smile and laugh with me.

i think I'm being alittle too serious and uptight that its making things harder for me. I think I need to lighten up and be more open.

[McQueen]

People often tell me I need to take it easy. It's difficult when you see the world differently and when you're good at reading people's personalities, it's hard not to be a little judgmental and avoiding.

[Asker]

yeah I'm actually very observant. for years, I would always sit back and watch other people interact with each other. now when I'm the one who has to interact with other people, its not as easy as it seems.

[McQueen]

I read once and other people agree that if everyone were introverted, there would be no wars. Just remember that introverts make up 60% of the gifted people, though I'm really average despite being the big fish in a small pond sometimes.

Final tip of interacting; I have trouble making friends because of my high expectations of people (apparently asking people not to take drugs/booze is too much). Be the sunshine aura, people will gravitate towards you. Being fun is what makes people like you.

[Anonymous]

I have the same problem as you do. I never know what to ask and when they ask me a question sometimes I just don't know the answer. It's not that I don't want to talk and ask questions I just don't know what to say. :-(

[Asker]

yeah I know what you mean!

like if they ask me questions, I give small answers because I never know what to say. and I feel that if I ask questions, they'll think I'm nosy. its difficult. :(

[Celq532]

I prefer this kind of girl. Since I myself am naturally quiet (but assertive when I need to be). But even so, I struggle to try and get a conversation going, and feel bad when I run out of things to say. Happens do me with a girl I used to work with. We get on well but tend not to have much today to each other. Even though she always try to sit next to me lol. I genuinely not sure what to do.

[Anonymous]

Thats fine with me. I'm kinda shy myself. Someone really and outgoing probably wouldn't be intrested in me.

[Asker]

yeah outgoing people are kind of intimidating. they tend to bore me, as well as I bore them.

[Hunterb]

I like talkative loud girls always have the best personalities