Why do women constantly bitch about their men?

Question

What I am about to say might sound a little harsh. But I mean it in the best possible way. I am just writing because my heart is about to burst while you all just bitch about your husbands and boyfriends and how imperfect he is.

I was on Facebook yesterday and I saw my cousin posting about how she wishes she never met her husband and she curses the day she met him and curses the day his mother gave birth

to him and she envies those who are single. Now I know this family as of course, they are related to me. Her husband is not abusive and doesn't cheat on her as my cousin will definitely tell me.

Here I am, 24 years old and still single like a loser while she and some other women complain about their partners. I have this policy... if your man doesn't cheat on you, doesn't abuse you in any way,

has a job and is independent and takes care of you... YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BITCH ABOUT HIM! I mean sure women want communication and all this bullsh*t but your man is busting his balls out there trying to provide for you and he comes home tired and you expect him to talk to you? I don't understand what makes women angry with their husbands. Can you PLEASE just provide me with a few examples. Maybe I am just ignorant.

Why do women want the single life again? can't you just appreciate the beautiful thing that you have? Believe it or not, love is a choice... not something that you will feel automatically. I would kill to be in other womens shoes and be able to have someone in my life that WANTS ME! Yes that is right. Someone at least WANTED YOU and decided to spend his time with YOU for a long period of time.

I mean sure, I am in a great job, have a great car, have a great house, have a great social life. But I would trade that all in a second just to have a minutes worth of companionship. And you just constantly whine and bitch and nag at him. If I had YOUR husband, I would make sure I treated him like a king as long as he isn't an arsehole with me. Do you know what it feels like to not be wanted?

Now stop your bitching and be with your man!

*Rant ended*

OpenClose · Accepted Answer

I was with a girl not to long ago who would do this. She was always insulted by her boyfriend's interest in her. when talking about if she hypothetically got pregnant, she hoped another guy would get her pregnant because she would abort a baby if she knew it would come out like him.

Why would a woman talk that way about her boyfriend? And why would he put up with it? I guess some girls are more interested in not being single than they are interested in a relationship. I guess guys do with with sex sometimes, more interested in not being a virgin than in having a relationship. But there is no relationship equivalent to a "one-night-stand".

My policy has always been this: Don't expect any more than you offer. Period.

These women you talk about would have a right to complain if they were providing for themselves and the man was expecting to be provided for. But this sounds like the opposite. Like suburban housemoms talking about how they are the ones doing all the work while their husband goes off and has fun all day in the coal mine.

Nobody is entitled to anyone else's pay. If they expect it, they can expect to be treated as children.

You sound pretty cool. Or at least appreciative. And that's the thing, I WOULD pay for a girl like that, I WOULD be chivalrous, because I know you would appreciate it. It would matter to you. It would communicate my love for you, and all I would want in return is that appreciation and to know that I was the one who put that smile on your face.

Wanna know why chivalry is dying?

When it's an expectation, it destroys all of it. There's no desire to give a gift to a girl who thinks it's the man's role. If a girl thinks it's the man's role to pay for dates, then I guess I "forgot my wallet".

But the fact that we keep these expectations while working so hard to change women's roles just puts everyone in a state of subtle vindictiveness. A relationship becomes a power struggle, and instead of mutual giving, it becomes mutual taking and counting debt.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

A new, special kind of store just opened up in a Manhatten shopping center. This store sells husbands, yes that's right - women can browse men from floors of choices.

Actually, there are 6 floors of men, and with an increase in the floor level bringing an positive attributes... a nifty setup - with a catch. As you open the door to any floor, you may choose a man from that floor but if you go up, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. Interesting, right?

So a young woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor one - These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 7,548,652 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor only exists as proof that women are impossible to please.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The grass is always greener. You're unhappy being single and you're desperate for a relationship, so of course you idealize and romanticize relationships. In reality, they're A LOT of work. I've been in one for 5 years. Yes, some women bitch a lot, but believe it or not, guys complain about their girls just as much. they just do it in subtler ways rather than broadcasting it all over fb.

You seem to have an unrealistic view of relationships (no offense). "Your man is busting his balls out there trying to provide for you and he comes home tired and you expect him to talk to you?" LOL. Nearly all women these days also work. It's not like we're waiting at home all day for our man to talk to us. Women and men are different. Biologically and psycologically. That's why we butt heads, but that's also why we're attracted to each other.

Yes, you do sound quite ignorant (or at the very least, quite inexperienced) in regards to relationships. I suspect when you have one of your own you will realize this. For a relationship to work long term, it takes sacrifice and work from both parties. It's frustrating, and a lot of women turn to complaining to their friends as a source of comfort. Most of them are exagerating and don't actually feel that strongly.

"If I had YOUR husband, I would make sure I treated him like a king as long as he isn't an arsehole with me." What's an "arsehole"? Your definition may be totally different than the next girl. Something that really bothers her may not bother you, and vice versa. Each relationship is unique. Stop judging! Use this energy and put it toward something positive, like finding a man of your own.

PS, you're complaining about how much women bitch, but you just spent 5 paragraphs...bitching. LOL

AmelieAnge · Accepted Answer

1. This is a broad generalization, and it's offensive that you, and half of the people who have answered, say it's "nature" and that "most girls" do this etc. EVERY relationship has its faults, and GUYS complain about their girlfriends/wives quite a bit too, and you can't say they don't, I have seen and heard it myself.

I will admit that it's stupid to bitch on Facebook etc., but that's a MATURITY issue, not a gender issue, not a "women do this but guys don't" issue.

There are two sides to everything, maybe if you were in a relationship you'd understand the other side as well. People bitch about EVERYTHING, you just happen to be sensitive to THIS issue.

2. This isn't really a question.

Prettygurl12 · Accepted Answer

Honestly I don't know. I know what you're talking about though. All I listen to all day is my friends complaining about their boyfriends. They want me to join in but honestly, the worst thing I can say about my boyfriend is that he doesn't like as much butter on his popcorn as I do lol.

I think I have the most fantastic boyfriend on the face of the planet and while yes, he does annoying things every now and then, nothing he does makes me mad enough to speak ill of him to my friends. I know when I have a good thing when I have it and I have every intention of hanging on to him for a long possible.

asdaven · Answer

Yeah I hear you. Men complain too about women. Here guys are out there treating women as disposable and when a girl comes in my life, she's very important to me. I've had several women in my life who I've treated very well abd cared about a lot and still complained and then ended up taking advantage of me, my days of being an absolute pushover to women are done. But, I'm still a nice guy and treat women very well, just don't let them take advantage. Let me break this up into structured paragraphs why I think women act this way. Now I'm just talking about the women that do this crap, not ALL women. There are a lot of good women out there, you seem like one and probably in all reality deserve a boyfriend or husband more than your cousin does. Here's some thoughts:

They're spoiled- They figure theyre attractive and can get whatever they want and are entitled to get away with playing/using men. They want a guy with money who constantly buys them expensive things. Love, affection, supporting them just isn't enough. They don't just want to be loved, they want to be decorated.

They're shallow- Money and expensive gifts are way more important than love and being treated well.

Complaining about people is entertaining- These women fear no drama situations. Its out of place for them and just plain boring. So, they make up and start drama then complain about it. And when there is no drama to go on, they resort to complaining about the smallest things. Many also don't date men who treat them well and date the men who are the ones theyre complaining about because its boring dating the nice guy as there is nothing to complain about.

They expect men to carry all the weight and make all the effort in the relationship because he is the "guy"- These women expect to enter a relationship and not lift a finger. Her beauty "makes up" for it. Everything that goea on in the relationship is the guys fault. When the smallest thing goes wrong, they chose to break off the relationship and be single rather than simply working with the other person to resolve the problem.

They got more attention when they were single- Attractive women get attention from all sides when theyre single and they play a bunch of guys against each other and she is worshipped and fought over while she sits there like she's watching a movie or something, but its about HER. Once in a relationship or married, its ONE guy. And one guy can't give them the attention of ten guys.

They demand too much- Demand little, appreciate everything else. Yeah demand them not to cheat on you and to treat you well and to be a boyfriend Basically how everybody should be treated. The basics. But to demand a guy doing extraordinary stuff for you or buying stuff is not fair. Don't expect that. But, appreciate it when it does happen. Its more rewarding to the woman as well when they don't expect it. High expectations ruins it for the girl as well and she ll just see it as the guy giving into to her expectation.

stubbsy · Answer

All the bitching means is that they have this guy that at times irritates the hell out of them, but they fail to express the times he has made her feel important and sexy and one of the4 most gracious creatures this earth holds, but no one hears this, because this was him telling or showing her, no one gets to share those moments with her, but the nasty comments are to allow everyone to see that she has a man that is not worth a wink, so this way, she feels as if she is safe with him, no woman will be interested, so she is now confident for a while that no one else will make a move on her man, until next time, so she finds something else to bitch about him, because if she went around telling her friends what an amazing guy she had, she would feel as if other women would want to get to know this great guy, and she will no longer feel secure with him if that happened, so unless she has a right old moan about his faults, she will feel as if someone might see the quality in him and make a move to get his attention away from her, this is why women bitch about their other half's,x

Anonymous · Answer

1. Hormones. Honest to god, many, if not a majority of women directly lead their lives according to their more volatile biology. As a man, you don't hate women for this fact, you just come to accept it. That being said, she wants you to be strong enough to put your foot down when it goes from honest complaining once in a while to outright daily bitching over nonsense. I have a threshold for listening to my girlfriend's complaints. After a while, I just have to call it quits.

2. Women love to test their men. As a man, we know a woman's fitness for being a good mate is to be slender, have a nice hip-to-waist ratio, be pleasant to be around and lastly, be loyal. As a man, we have to be emotionally tougher (emo boys are always single or in the process of being dumped), be able to a provider, not put up with daily stress and give in to it, etc. Women expect more out of men than men do out of women. In the old days, women had much more to lose by being pregnant. Both men and women are still in an old way of thinking, because biology evolves slower than culture does.

Bottom line? If my woman is acting up, I give her a chance to vent for a little while. If it crosses the line into being a personal attack, I'll give her one warning and then walk out of the house and ignore her for a while. Women, deep down, hate it when a man allows them to disrespect him. You have to stand your ground and not put up with excess female emotions. To a degree, you appreciate women for the package they are, which can include the happy emotions too. That being said, you have to relate to her that bitching is intolerable, even if she's feeling hormonal. Women don't love men that they don't respect. Be that man worthy of respect, and you'll get less bitching.

Belgie · Answer

It's their nature.

If there was such a thing as the perfect man, no woman would date him, because what women love most of all in a man, is that he be her project. Her little hobby of continual self-improvement.

The bitching and complaining and nagging - keeps her happy. She is telling the world that she has so much important things to change in her man. And he, if he is smart, will give her the illusion of change, so she can feel like she is making progress. But not really.

As a man, I promise you, I don't take it personally. Even when they seem to bitch all the time, it's not exactly abuse.

glitterberryalisa · Answer

I already love you and I don't even know you! SERIOUSLY. THIS IS MY LIFE. it makes me hate people so much. and Facebook. I'm single as sh*t and so many of my friends, people on Facebook complain complain complain. half of them don't deserve their guy anyways, I'm not trying to sound desperate or selfish, and If I do sound like it then whatever I don't care. I'd be the best damn girlfriend they ever had. okay, I'm done now.

Anonymous · Answer

im totally with you. A lot of men are attracted for me, but still they don't put any effort to get me to know closer. I'm educated, independent, understanding..a lot of things you mentioned...but still single...for four years now. How depressing. And it is so immature to take your private life out on fb. Cmon that's embarassing and yes I often thing how come she has a boyfriend (I don't wanna sound unfair, or like I'm the bomb, but yes some women take a lot for granted) to be honest back in the days, I did so too.

But I guess, the fact that we are single for a while, reflect ourself (cuz we have a lot of time to :-), gives us another approach. An approach from the outside, since were not involved we can judge that some women really freak out for no reason.

But I tend to believe, that these qualities we developed, will make a stunning guys someday really happy, because we will know how to run a healthy relationship. Hope were not running out of patient ;-)

Premonition · Answer

If I'd met you face to face I'd definitely, shake your hand and possibly go have drink in starbucks. I wish more Women though like you, they don't appreciate what they have, also Relationship or Marriage that get boring or lose their love is both partners faults.

If Married couples knew all that had to do was keep winning their partner effections, even tho you know they weren't going no where, the Love would always stay fresh.

atomicraindance · Answer

chessqueen, you have a good heart but being in a relationship and looking at it from the outside can lead to disillusion.  I believe I understand your point that some people find things wrong in a relationship just for the sake of it, but people also act crazy in a relationship because love makes you do stupid things. You become oversensitive, paranoid etc., but it's all out of a deep fear that you could lose them. My ex-girlfriend was a lot like this, and I really love her (still do), but I also understand that she, like many people simply don't believe they are worthy of happiness and they will sabotage relationships when the reach a certain level of intimacy.

katthedog · Answer

I don't understand either.. I hear these girls say such HORRIBLE things about their man and I'm like

"single pringle over here"

I don't understand!

At least they're loved and wanted by someone!

If that guy was a d*** and cheated on them or abused them then I'd be like-

"Fine bitch away gurlfriend!"

BUT NO.

These girls choose to be horrible. ARGH I DON'T UNDERSTAND!

whyyy

such idiots..

I've never done that, and never will..

TWO FACED MEANIES

Kiran04 · Answer

Women need something to b*tch about.  At least MOST women.  There's always the "grass is always greener" aspect.  To be fair, many men are like that too, but they don't make a public forum out of it.  Women like to smear their opinions and negative emotions over the entire world, especially the internet.  Guys like a more private forum to vent their frustrations.  Either way, I came to the realization a long time ago that nothing is sacred to a woman.  There's no secret you can tell her, no matter how much you emphasize the importance of it's privacy, that she will not spill to her friends at the top of her lungs after a few glasses of white zinfandel.  Just a fact of life, I'm afraid.  Constant as gravity.

dan6122 · Answer

so you are the beautiful woman in the pics on your profile. you type out this post supporting guys.

then you reveal you are single and would treat your guy like a king if you were dating him.

I don't know how in the hell you are single but I hope to meet a woman like you one day. I would treat you like the queen you are.

haa... there we go that feels much better. lol its nice to know ladies like you exist

BrownBunny · Answer

To be in a relationship is like having a never ending job. Some people at points complain about whatever is going on at work. Same rule applies with the home life. Men and women are different in how we communicate. It doesn't always go well. He just may be the stand up guy in your eyes, but we don't know if he called her lazy and that set her off on a rant. Things like that you don't know what the situation is behind closed doors. Don't be so fast to judge a situation you don't know both sides to. All you see is her complaints. I'm sure he has some as well when he is with the boys getting a beer.

kez2013xx · Answer

Hi, I think your right at what your saying, your just missing a few things, that women on Facebook that was slagging off her husband sounds like a right bitch, I have never aired out my problems like that and never would, your right about ' as long as he's not abusive, doesn't cheat and has a good job ect! You say there's no time for talk because he's to tired from working... What if you have children, do you not think that's not as tiring? As for the TALK BULLSHIT... If you can't do that then there isn't much hope for a happy relationship, everything you said is good, but it take a lot more than that to make a relationship work, i.e talking ect! p.s if its a regular thing for your cousins wife to act like that, advise him to leave a gather some thoughts and thinking space, she should NOT be talking like that, its rude, mean and to be honest she doesn't sound mature enough to have a grown-up long term husband, tell him I said GOOD LUCK (to you both)

red324 · Answer

because women expect to have a fairytale relationship or a fairytale marriage like what is seen in hollywood. This is far from reality. In my opinion I think it's better to be with a woman who has been married once already cause she probably got a good look at reality and knows how bad things can get so they learn to appreciate the little things more.

red324 · Answer

because women are emotional creatures and they love to gossip about things like their man. I don't think mean to make it like their boyfriend is a bad person, it's just what girls do when they go out and with one another. It's there form of entertainment.

rocksongwriter · Answer

"I saw my cousin posting about how she wishes she never met her husband and she curses the day she met him and curses the day his mother gave birth to him" Why was she posting that?

zakkyzakzak · Answer

This kind of happened with my ex. When we first started dating she was pretty chill about everything and didn't care if I didn't call her every night and stuff. Then, about six months in she got really clingy and would constantly tell me that she didn't think I cared about her and stuff because I was busy a lot. Then, after we broke up she told me that she acted that way because she'd never felt that way about someone as she did me and it kind of scared her. I don't know though, really.

Anonymous · Answer

Because people love to bi*ch - hence this "question".

beastman88 · Answer

some people just feel the need to bitch about something to feel important or keep themselves distracted from what borish incomplete lives they lead

TheKraken · Answer

As much as I want to agree with you. Most of my friends are the same way about their women. . . They just bitch at me instead of their SO

Why do women constantly bitch about their men?

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