Is there ever really a way to let someone know how much they've hurt you without them experiencing your pain?

I wrote a letter to let out my feelings but I don't think I would give it to him. I mean who really reads letters from the person who broke up with you because you're a pig?

I feel like he only listens when we're in person, but if I wait to say what I have to say in person I have to wait a month before seeing him again.

I thought about simplifying the letter into basic talking points and just saying it over the phone, but again you can't really tell if a person is listening to you unless they are right there.

What should I do: leave it to karma and just let him experience my pain some day? Say it over the phone? OR wait until next month and do it in person?

It's nothing he said that hurt me. He made me the "other girl", so I most definitely do not want him back. I've liked this guy for four years. I told him I didn't care if he just wanted sex and to just be real about it but he made it seem like he really wanted a relationship. Turns out he just wanted someone on the side. This is the first time I've ever really trusted a guy. He abused the trust I was willing to give him and my generosity. I'm embarrassed, and feel more than used and deceived.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Writing out your feelings is a form of expression and it sounds like you hope that something will click, he will apologize and then you will regain the relationship.

    Everyone is different and what hurts you may not hurt someone else and that means that understanding your pain is different than accepting that you are IN pain. So if someone this guy cared about called him a pig, it might not effect him at all. So even if he had the same experience, it might not have an effect and relating to him your perspective most likely won't have any effect either.

    I was dating this girl once and I thought things were going well, then one day she just broke up with me. Upon further inquiry, I found out that her excuse was that she didn't like my face. That hurt me quite deeply at the time, so because of that experience, I can relate to how yours would make you feel and I could understand why you would be hurt. It still wouldn't really tell me exactly how much it hurt you.

    If telling him that what he said hurt you isn't enough, then it's unlikely you will see any positive response from him.