Basically she does a lot of things that starts to irritate me very badly now and as soon as she does one single thing that I kinda don't like recently I don't want to talk to her anymore. She dresses slutty and I had no problem with it but now I do and it gets annoying because were in a long distance right now its like she wants atttention so she dresses like that. Basically she craves attention and says on thing and always does the other like shell help me study, and I tell her before she commits that if she can't she doesn't have to and she says she can... 30 minutes into it she hasn't helped at all because she's talking to her friends and then she has to leave. After going through this for months and months I my patience is so slim I just don't feel like talking to her then she complains that I don't want to talk to her. I feel like I have a lot of built up anger
She is dressing the same way she did when you met her and fell for her. You are asking her to change for you. It's not that SHE wants new or extra attention, it's that you are feeling insecure about attention that she may or may not be getting while you're not with her.
If she has problems with timing like that, call her on it and tell her that you want her to set her clock to the time she's dedicated to you. She has to show some specific interest in you if you're going to stick around. As far as relying on her for tutoring... I'd just go find the hottest possible tutor and let her know that you're getting your academic assistance from somewhere else. Describe the girl as "okay looking" and show a picture of this really hot girl who is tutoring you. This one will automatically start trying to shape up.
If she's not making time for you, she's not your girlfriend. If she's acting like a busy little diva when she's supposed to be with you, go find someone else to pay attention to you. My granny always used to say that when a brat acts out (for attention) the best thing to do is ignore him/her completely.
The slutty thing... man, you picked her; that's just her style. If you don't like it, you need to move on.
I think that you need to tell her this, maybe not in those exact words be open and honest about your frustrations, and go from there. If you talk it out, and nothing changes, or your find new annoyances, it might be time to considering leaving the relationship or at least taking time apart. After the excitement is gone and you learn more about who the person really is, you may not like it, it happens but continueing to try and make it work if you really are that bothered will only create bigger problems for both of you.
Usually this is because you've spent TOO much time together... but in your case it seems to be not enough...
Second of all, what are you calling slutty? Skirts and tank tops? Shorts? If you can't see her panties or most of her boobs, it's not slutty.. it's only slutty if everyone is seeing her nips and her baby chute.
What you need to do is get over how she's dressing unless she's showing things a bikini is supposed to cover. Cause if those areas are hidden, you're just being jealous and controlling and very unreasonable.
Second of all.. tell her when you're together to put her phone on vibrate, do the same with yours and the ONLY calls or texts you answer are from your parents. Since I'm guessing you don't spend much time together, ASK her to give her attention fully to you for the short time you are together. Don't spend all of it studying either. Talk to her, ask her about her day...tell her about yours...kiss on her, hold her.. make her feel like you're happy to see her.
I know you think it's hard to do.. especially since you're so on edge..
but I felt the same way about my boyfriend. He lives with me so we're together ALL the time. I finally would start SENDING him off with his friends because I was so angry with him. I hated it. I nearly broke up with him over the stupidest things...that normally didn't effect me...but suddenly were..
I would send him off, and I would still be irritated with him...but no matter what I made time for sex and cuddling because those things are important...if you don't get some touching in..it won't be a very happy relationship. You need physical affection..
Any questions I'll continue to answer in comments :)
Maybe you are spending too much time with her and need a break or some space. Try that out and see if it helps. If not, then maybe you should break up with her. She might just annoy you and maybe you're not right for each other. Or you could be spending too much time with each other and you're angry because you are holding in your true feelings.
I think you should break up with her. Dating relationships are meant to be enjoyed and well, sounds like you aren't enjoying this. And it also sounds like you guys are now on completely different wave lengths.
Your anger is built up because you're in a situation wherein you're helpless. :\ You're helpless because you can't see nor feel that your girlfriend is doing something to make your relationship work anymore, and blames you for not talking to her while she never reflected why you'd do such.
This obviously isn't working out for you, and if you've been unable to communicate your needs with her for whatever reason thus far, your long distance relationship will continue to flounder. You should probably break up with her.
If small things (like the fact that she dresses exactly the same way as she did when you first met her & started dating) are setting you off you've got some issues that go way beyond her fashion sense. Also, I don't know if you're aware of it, but you're being very controlling, wanting her to change the way she dresses (& has dressed for a long time) simply because you don't like it anymore.
Talk to her about it. Please talk to her about it. Have you spoken to her about all this? She may not know that she's annoying you! She may like you a lot and she may be willing to work on these issues! There could be reasons behind what she's doing, I think you just have to clear the air, then maybe your anger will just fizzle down. :)
She probably has no idea you feel this way. She needs to know. You need to talk to her and tell her what things are bothering you and give her a chance to change some of the things you dislike. Communication is the key to sucess in all types of relationships. I have learned that lesson the hard way.
I think you should talk to her,speak out your unpleasant things, only communication can solve the problem.
It think that whenever someone expresses he or she wants his or her boyfriend or girlfriend to dress differently is because he/she actually wants to change him/her. My exboyfriend tried for so long to change the way I dressed and I really wanted to please him but then I realized he ehat he really wanted was for me to change, to be someone completely different, so we broke up after being together for 4 years
Has the relationship been going on like 6-12 months? Congrats, you're out of the infatuation stage where everything's peachy and perfect. Now you're in the disillusionment stage where your partner isn't as great as you think they are. This is where the majority of relationships fall apart.
Sounds like you two are just growing apart. There comes a time in a relationship where people get comfortable with each other and those qualities that you used to view as 'cute', can annoy the crap out of you now. This is natural progression in a relationship but you sound more irritated than that. For whatever reason, you are growing resentmentful toward her. This is an issue that must be adressed. If you do not deal with your resentment, it will build and build until it can't be contained anymore and you will react in anger. That could get messy for your relationship. I think you need to figure out what about her triggers your resentment and talk to her about it, OR, break up. Maybe it is just getting to the end of your time together, your intuition will tell you. Deep down, you probably already know what you need to do, and you are just looking for clarification from some unbiased people's opinions.