Do shy guys play mind games?

[Anonymous]

Man, I am so annoyed by mind games. I'm a grown up! I shouldn't even be worried about these kinds of things! Wtf!

Ok so I'm extremely shy I'm not as socially awkward as before though. I've been told you can't even tell I'm nervous so that's good. OK so I've asked so many questions about this guy, I probably sound like a broken record but he is confusing me.

We have slowly gotten to know each other all semester. Things are going great. he's a nice guy. He says he's shy but he's so friendly and outgoing. At first he wouldn't talk to me much but he just kept making excuses to talk to me. He now asks about me like about my life. And why I'm so quiet. We walk together now. Were both single and inexperienced. he's respectful, opens doors for me. He teases me sometimes, he's not mean though. But lately he's been acting really odd. He's mentioning girls to me now. Which led me to ask this question. link

And the next class I went to sit next to him as always and he was texting and waited like a minute to say hi. Then it was just silent. He didn't talk to me. He was just on his phone so I took out my too. We just sat in silence. We were separated cause we sat in different groups but at the end, we sat together. He was teasing me again and we sat really close where our arms kept touching and he accidentally touched my thigh. It was nice. ha ha and lately, he looks at me different. Like one day we had to sit far away from each other, and he wouldn't stare a lot but just glance here and there with a soft expression like when we talk.

Ok so I was starting to think he might be interested but lately he's been acting weird. I'm so sensitive I want to cry. I fell for a guy like this once who went the extra mile for me and when he found out I liked him, he started ignoring me. I'm scared this is happening again. Rejection hurts. Could they act like this because they're inexperienced? Or really shy deep down?

[kimi01]

i think that he is not sure about what he wants. short term thrills? long term commitment? getting too close? emotions and feelings can be playing up day in day out. maybe he is scared of taking the next step. maybe he doesn't feel ready to take the next step. maybe he is unsure of what it means to take the next step.

whenever I have feelings for someone I tend to lose my ability to speak because the sensations I feel in my heart are so overwhelming.

be friends with him. listen to his music, read books he likes or recommends, watch the movies he likes, do whatever it takes to understand to get through to what his mind is thinking and feeling, that way you'll generate your own answers on his behavior, ideals, inspirations, and what kind of person he is looking for. this will take lots of time.

i tend to play mind games to look for a girls response, understand her logic and way of thinking and dealing with life, which I then analyse and see if she would be an ideal partner. but I don't think this guy is doing this.

[Asker]

Maybe. I was wondering that maybe he doesn't know how to act because he's never been in a relationship and he said he's never asked a girl out before because he didn't have the drive to do so. Maybe he's scared? I've never been in a relationship either and I've never been with a guy and usually I get really scared that I sabotage things but with him, it just feels right.

I can try to like what he likes. I know he likes video games, game of thrones, books, sports, movies.

[Asker]

And he likes sci-fi things too. :D

He has dropped some hints about what he finds attractive in girls like confidence and dressing modest. He doesn't like girls who dress revealing and I dress modestly so maybe I have a chance :D

[heavy5]

Be upfront with him. Ask him outright. Tell him how you feel and ask how he feels. Honesty is the best policy.

[Asker]

But he's acting weird. What if he moved on, if he even liked me. I'm scared to get my heart broken again.

[heavy5]

Hiding your feelings won't do you any good. What if he is acting weird because he doesn't know how to talk to you. If you hold in your feelings you'll never know. Heartbreak is a risk you might have to take. Your fishing in an ocean not a fish bowl.

[Asker]

Well we've been talking since the semester started. We always sat together and he started to make conversation with me. That led to us walking together. I feel like sometimes he has tried to subtly hint that we should hang out but maybe its my imagination.

Wont it be awkward if I just tell him that I have feelings for him?

[heavy5]

I can only tell you what I would do. I am a very honest person and don't see the point of hiding my inner self because if they can't respect me I don't want to be around them. If I was you I would ask him, but its your decision.

[Asker]

Yeah I guess you're right. I do believe honesty is the best policy.

I was planning to tell him before the semester ends.

How can I tell him without it being all awkward?

[heavy5]

You might want to find someone else to answer that. I am not known for holding back or caring what others think. I just speak my mind and hope they feel the same. If it is awkward that's on them.

[Anonymous]

It seems that he's too shy. He's not playing games. You should just try to ask him if he's willing to be in a long term with you.

[Asker]

Well why is he being shy now? He didn't seem shy when we first met. He always found excuses to talk to me. He would initiate most of the time. Even when I was shy with him, he still tried to talk to me. But it does make sense that he's shy. I can spot a shy person when I one because I'm shy too but what I find weird is that he's shy all of a sudden.

Yeah I think I'm going to have to confront him. I like him a lot but I don't want to lose him over a misunderstanding.