Girls, would you date a lonely guy that has no friends?

[cherokeeblake]

I've tried making male friends but I still felt lonely, family doesn't help either, the only time I'm not feeling lonely is when I'm with a single female around my age. And I'm not going to lie I suffer from extreme depression because girls are the only thing in this world that truly makes me happy and I have no single females to talk to :( . Girls if you'd talk to me in person you'd never know I was depressed, I'd be smiling and cracking jokes and being talkative. The point is that if I'm not in a relationship or have any girls to talk to I get depressed, I just want to feel loved and I've never felt loved before. If I had a female to go on dates with I'd be very happy, I'm just not meant to be single. If you'd just talk to me I wouldn't be depressed anymore and I'm a very likable guy, I'm quite the ladies man ;) I'm a victim of society and there is nothing to do socially around here for me, I hate church and exercising, but I do like doing stuff outdoors like hiking and camping.

Anyways, sorry this is so long and I appreciate it if you read it all :) I have nobody to talk to.

Girls, would you date a lonely guy that has no friends?

Is having no friends a turn off or a turn on?

Updates

+1 y

Look you're not helping me if you don't tell me how to get out of this. Any suggestions? HOW DO I GET MY LIFE "IN ORDER"?


Details please.

[CatholicVirginia]

Not if that's how he describes himself, as "a lonely guy [with] no friends." That's just a self-pitying statement, and that really rubs me the wrong way. We all have problems in our life, and it's fine to acknowledge them, and perfectly reasonable to confide in a trusted friend, but I prefer more optimism and less victimization. Life is what you make it; no more, no less.

The fact that you get depressed when not dating or having a "girl" is extremely cautionary to me. First of all, it tells me that you are befriending/dating me simply because I am female and will give you the time of day, NOT because you like me. You should be looking for a girlfriend who makes you want to date her, not someone who fits a mold. You don't date me because you want to date. You date me because you like me. I inspire you to want to date. Not the other way around.

"I'm just not meant to be single" is an excuse for your behavior. We are social creatures; this is true. But if you can't enjoy your company, I can't enjoy your company.

"I'm a victim of society" - again, embracing the weak "victim" status. That's too passive. You expect others to make your happiness, rather than finding happiness for yourself. That's not my style.

So no, not having friends is not why I would not date you. I would not date you because you are not comfortable with yourself and because you are far too dependent. I have a life. I have MANY responsibilities. The man I am dating should not feel like a responsibility; he should make me feel alive, not burdened. I shouldn't feel that I have to devote attention to him or else he will be depressed; he should simply make me want to talk to him and vice versa.

I think you need to figure out why you embrace the passive status, why you identify yourself as and seem to thrive on the fact that you are a person who allows others to so easily control his happiness. Why are you afraid of autonomy?

[cherokeeblake]

I believe I understand that you're getting at. What if I kept it all a secret? Then she wouldn't feel burdened if she didn't know. You seem to know everything what would you suggest I do? I wouldn't date you either, you're highly critical and no guy wants a critical woman. I've met other caring girls, just saying men want caring women not critical and every guy would agree with me on that one.

[Stark]

I'd rather have a critical girlfriend than one who bullsh*ts me to give me the answer I want to hear. I disagree with you.

[cherokeeblake]

Whoever in they're right mind doesn't want a critical girlfriend.

[Stark]

Maybe when you've had a lasting relationship you will see why padding the truth isn't such a good idea. Anyway, we clearly disagree and I'm sorry if I've offended you :P

[CatholicVirginia]

You shouldn't date me. I don't beat around the bush and I'm not the type of person you need. I won't coddle you. You shouldn't keep it a secret. You need to figure YOURSELF out before you can ask anyone else to take you on.

Why don't you tell me why you're afraid of autonomy instead of telling me how critical I am and putting the focus on me?

Why don't you tell me why being alone - being stuck with only you - is so awful to you, yet you want someone else to be stuck with you?

[CatholicVirginia]

You need to become comfortable with yourself. Your future girlfriend/fiancee/wife deserves that, and more importantly, so do you.

[CatholicVirginia]

As per your update, you're asking us for a panacea. You want us to solve your life. You need to put in that effort. Explore yourself and seek therapy if necessary. You're the one who has to live with the end results, so actually take an active hand in helping yourself, rather than telling us that we need to figure out how to help you.

[lauramor]

I don't have a lot of friends.

talk to more people, be more open towards new people, do different things and go to different places to meet more girls.

[britannny]

I have like 2 friends. So who am I to judge? Some people just aren't social butterflies, and that's ok.

[cherokeeblake]

See you understand because your in a similar situation. All of these people hating on me just don't know what it's like.

[britannny]

I wouldn't call it a "situation". That's just me, and how I am. My friendships are always very genuine. I don't connect with that many people. That's why I don't have a lot of friends. It doesn't make me sad. I don't cry about it. I don't even think about it.

[cherokeeblake]

Sorry poor choice of word.

[kheserthorpe]

Girls find it a huge turn off it they feel like you need them emotionally. It makes them feel like your mother. Nature tells them not to mate with weak men. Which means they don't feel 'that way' for guys like that.

Get your life in order.

[cherokeeblake]

HOW?

[Stark]

CatholicVirginia gave you advice on how to get your life in order and you started being stupid saying how critical and undatable she is. If you can't take advice why are you asking for it?

[cherokeeblake]

She did NOT tell me how to correct it.

[kheserthorpe]

Well for starters what are you doing? School? Work? You 'hate exercise' but like hiking. Is this a theoretical thing or you actually go camping/hiking regularly? What else are you interested in?

[countrygirl1996]

I am a very shy kinda girl so no I don't socialize with people( guys in particular ) I feel the same way I've even had suicidal thoughts but I actually like guys that don't have many friends

[Stark]

Feel really harsh saying this, but "if you can't love yourself, how can anyone love you?". Don't wait around for that special girl to come along, because they very rarely stay forever. Enjoy life man.

[cherokeeblake]

If a girl would love me I would gladly return the favor.

[cherokeeblake]

Just get out lol

[Anonymous]

You have so low self esteem. Of course, they would date you.

[Anonymous]

I am seriously ill and I have no friends. So if you wouldn't mind a girlfriend who would probably die in the next ten years then, yes, I would date you.

[larry69]

No they don't and avoid you..

[Anonymous]

Nope