Why can't men ever accept they don't get any girls because they are unattractive?

Question

I swear I'm the only male who accepts his situations. So many guys whine that they can't get girlfriends because they are 'too nice' or they are 'shy'. Some say they just haven't met the right girl yet or just have the wrong interests. Its all bullsh*t. If women aren't interested you are likely physically unattractive with nothing else to offer to make up for it. (for example rich/famous/popular/intimidating/drug dealing guys can get away with being unattractive).

link

Guys like these talking about being 'love shy' because of the most ridiculous reasons. None of them are good looking or successful in any way, that is why they are incel. Why can't men accept this?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

In my opinion, these guys would very much be able to look average or above average if they'd just start taking care of themselves. Cut their hair, take care of their skin, work out and buy some new clothes. Basically what almost every good looking guy out there is already doing! Come on! Good looking guys take care of themselves and have a happy outlook on life, THAT'S why they get girls! If you don't even TRY to take care of yourself and be happy with who you are, then no wonder nobody likes you more than you like yourself. This cold, self-pitying, self-hating attitude is not helping them either. In fact, I'd say it's the main reason why they're so unsuccessful when it comes to dating. They have this dumb mindset, like "if I ask out as many girls as possible, at least one is bound to accept". Wrong. It doesn't matter how many girls you ask out. They will immediately sense that you're insecure and cold in reality, that's why they're blowing you off. They will immediately sense that you've approached a lot of other girls the same way you're approaching them right now. They're not necessarily rejecting you because you're unattractive. If you were a genuinely happy, outgoing and secure guy, you'd have a lot more chances to get a date. Girls notice when you're faking it, and we notice when you're saying the same thing to all of us over and over.

Am I the only one who thinks that the guy who said he's been rejected 3000 times seems kind of proud of it? Like it's some kind of achievement, something to brag about? This is exactly why they're so unsuccessful. They're setting themselves up for failure without trying to improve, making them seem oh-so entitled to getting girls when their efforts are pretty much nonexistent. They WOULD be successful if they started taking care of themselves, they WOULD be successful if they started changing their attitude towards dating, women and themselves. FACT.

justbanANNAz · Accepted Answer

say you have 2 'physcially unattractive' men as you call them.

same age, same height

one finds a woman, one doesn't [dont think, yeah waterer, just wait:P]

one is therefore happy, the other miserable.

now a series of events like this could very well happen. BUT...

The difference between the two is that one of them took what society was telling him like a real man AND he did something about it. could have changed up his look, could have tried something new... and don't say no one can't be changed to look good? have you watched the biggest loser?

the other dude, on the other hand, also took what society threw at him like a man, but he just let it be. I doubt that you accepting this makes you feel good in the process. you automatically see yourself as out of the league of every girl you would want. what is that? why so much negativity? if people tipping the scales at almost 500 lbs and have knocked on the doors of suicide can walk away from that door and get their life back on track [mind you none of them were brad pitt or megan fox] then I don't see why anyone else should 'accept' the bullsh*t of 'these types of guys can't get a girl'

some girls have a good head on their shoulders and they actually know what they want? I mean, does anyone here still think theyll look sexy when their 65 as much as they do now? hell nope-.- looks fade, personality stays.

anddd I rest my case.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Because being unattractive may or may not be the real reason. You, for instance, are above average lookswise, but your attitude is defeatist. Internalized self-hatred generally ruins relationships for males and females, because there that anger often comes across as sullenness, bitterness, rage, etc. Fear of the opposite sex, severe social anxiety, other kinds of anxiety and depression issues really hurt our abilities to find a mate. (I have an anxiety disorder myself, so I know how much it f***s with you). Unfortunately, a lot of the issues start in childhood, so our distortions seem so normal that we don't even know that we're wrong in the way we see the world and ourselves.

Also, many unattractive guys and gals find mates. Generally, with each other, if they don't have strong showings in other categories. But that doesn't mean they're miserable because they aren't with the most attractive people.

I was having trouble streaming the video, but I personally know plenty of guys who look like Michael who have a steady stream of girlfriends. Are they generally manwhores? No ... though if they have a really good sense of humor, they sometimes are. But they often have girlfriends, if they're well adjusted and happy.

brandonlee12 · Accepted Answer

To find out whether women are attracted to a man's looks (such as height) or his social status, one thus needs to look at cases where the two are dissociated.

And the answer is appalling:

As a man, you can literally look like a gnome and score girls that make most men salivate.

What about the opposite? Just go to a club and compare the insecure guys, liquid courage in front of chest to the few men who actually talk with women. Does their tallness matter?

Women are not attracted to tall men. They are attracted to high status males. It just happens to be that their chances of a guys being of high status are disproportionately increased if the guy is tall. Thus, if women are robbed of the means of evaluating a man's high status (by checking his body language and response to sh*t tests), they will default to anything that correlates with these things. This is why showing photographs of guys is such a poor way to evaluate female mate preference.

As a guy, you can train yourself by trying to see the world through a woman's eyes. Judging each person's status, as communicated by body language, at any moment in time will give you the power of perfect predictability of which men are seen as attractive by female consensus. It will reveal to you what it is in you that women respond to positively as well. For women, realizing the above is not quite as hard as for men, but still helpful when seeking an interesting man.

Mankind's success and doom relies on how well we understand our own motives and actions.

windyCitysFinest · Accepted Answer

You are given what god gave you and you must work around those parameters in which you are given. Sex appeal is not only about looks though, the superficial people that cares all about looks are people hat are not worth dating so that is there one problem. The second problem is that because they have not had success and blame it on their bad looks they have low selfesteem and low self confidence, nothing stinks worse than those to when it comes to dating. Lastly, the most fatal flaw they have is reaching too high too soon, what I mean is, they expect to get the best looking girl in the room; you have to start from baby steps. One must become friends with people to build confidence that they can even talk to people, and then they need to date girls not as attractive and work their way up. Confidence is built over time it just does not spring up in one point in our life. A 5 can date a 10 if they have the confidence and the sex appeal of their personality.

pickledxtofu · Answer

It's difficult for ANYONE to accept that they are [generally] unappealing to the opposite sex.

Looks are the first thing we notice about people and it's inevitable that we are all judged upon our looks. But with looks, it's a constant battle because people are well, constantly looking at you and judging your worth and value on appearance.

A lot of women have a hard time accepting that their looks may cause them difficulties in dating. You have the girls who blame their small breasts and small butts on why they're single, as opposed to blaming their faces. Then you have overweight women who find it hard to hear and accept that guys generally don't prefer or like overweight women.

It's not just a characteristic of men.

Anyways, sometimes it's not about looks. I mean, it could be posture, the way one approaches, the mannerisms one has, body language or how little they show interest. Some people like to think that they're doing everything right in their approach, but that tends to be what they're weakest at.

While looks cannot be changed, the way one approaches men/women CAN be improved and worked on. It really takes some reflecting and honest though, on behalf of oneself.

Anyways, I digress.

Anonymous · Answer

I am so happy that a guy FINALLY posted the truth.Women are just as visual as men...and that changes if they become dead inside because they just want a man to ..."take care" of them. Men don't think about their appearance like women do,and its highly unfortunate because they walk about looking sloppy and not taking care of themselves because they are only thinking that money/possessions will STILL get them women.In some cases YES...that is TRUE...in other cases...HELL NO.

What's really annoying is when guys claim that they're "nice" guys and that women don't want the "nice guys" and yet these women complain.That is one of the most idiotic statements ever.Being "nice" and actually being attractive to the point of me wanting to tear your clothes off and do all sorts of nasty things never to be told to anyone are two VERY different things.If I know that I put effort into my appearance (working out,eating healthy,pedicures,manicures,body scaping),ass well as effort concerning my career,why the hell would I want to try and sleep with some unattractive dustbag when I KNOW I can get better.Get the EFF out of here!

If a guy is unattractive,I can't even pretend to sexually get a rise out of them,or feign interest because there is NONE.I wish that more guys would realize that they probably aren't getting any attention from the ladies because they look like "batboy" or some other creature.Or...they simply are not the type for that specific girl.But allowing yourself to look sloppy should be enough of a sign that they may end of dateless for a while.

Olivia9 · Answer

Guys don't think of their attractiveness because they aren't conditioned like women are to solely value their worth with the opposite sex on their looks. Women are taught from a very young age that pretty girls find love, have a nice figure, be a lady, wear make up be demure. Essentially pretty much every Disney movie especially"The Little Mermaid" great lesson don't speak get a man. Whereas men are taught focus on your own success the more success you have the more women you have. That is changing somewhat but men believe that women can be bought and they can be (prostitution and gold diggers). A man's looks are always the last thing on his mind when it comes to relationships aside from maybe being fit, they don't worry about their amount of pubic hair, their makeup, their shoes, their voice, their hair etc. etc. etc. Men are taught that their value and worth are placed on their accomplishments and character (inner traits) while women are taught that their value lies in their waistline and their outer appearance.

Which is why you have men on here complaining about having to approach women, and why women are shallow and don't want to date men without jobs etc. And you have women on here asking about if their vaginal shape is attractive, if their skin color is attractive, how to lose weight etc. It's all ingrained in us from a very young age from the time we learn that blue is a "boy color" and pink is a "girl color".

AudiR8 · Answer

I bet someone finds you attractive, regardless of what you think!

It's not just being ugly though, it's a combination of things all together.. I've seen so many ugly people in relationships.

If you're ugly and you don't dress well, and you have this annoying personality and have no confidence.. then all that adds up and there's nothing left to be attracted to.. you can work on any of those aspects but if you don't know how to, or don't do it the right way that fits you, then you're pretty much screwed.. you can attract people different ways, but if you have all those bad things put together then it's the person's fault for being that way, and not knowing how to change it... you can either try to change something or ask for help... because others can help you change certain things.. but if you don't then you only create a slow self esteem personality which only makes it worse!

wow Kyle! <3 ha ha ;p!

washize · Answer

I thought the guy with the long hair was actually cute and very articulate. Micheal wasn't ugly either, but he did have warts around his mouth that looked like herpes.

These guys just have extremely odd mannerisms, they have quirks that reflect a disorder of some kind. Especially the guy with long hair, he seemed to have obsessive behavior. I can only guess their lack of enjoyment for social interaction, completely reflects how they interact socially. They more than likely unknowingly say offensive, or off putting things to women, and other people in general.

For example:"Your skin looks so smooth." or "I didn't think your type could do x,y,z."

They may think that they're trying to strike up a conversation, but they could be making people uncomfortable with their strange movements and odd pattern of speech.

GiftShop · Answer

Well I'm pretty sure that's a hard thing for people to accept.

Many won't get girls because they are insecure due to them thinking their unattractive and girls find that unattractive.

I don't think it has anything to do with these guys physical appearance... Micheal seemed like he has some social thing going on.

The long haired guy actually seemed cold...kind of rude and obnoxious...and encase you didn't notice the way he talked...it was actually kind of creepy.

I don't think any of those guys were ugly.

Urban white trash was physically attractive and so was Kevin...this is only physically.

You think your unattractive? :c

You aren't I thought you are physically very attractive.

Anonymous · Answer

Shy isn't a problem but those guys in the video are just anal with zero style or confidence. If they built up some confidence, stopped being pretentious about their intelligence and got a make over they'd do fine. Just me, I can't stand the guys that have to bring the nerdy into the conversation or speak in a know-it-all fashion. There's a time and a place for the intellectual, sh*ts and giggles takes priority in social interactions.

BTW you're not ugly. I'm guessing you could build some confidence in order to be more natural but there's nothing wrong with you physically based on your pic. You're pretty good looking.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm only 4 minutes into the video you linked and I can tell you that I don't think any of the guys shown so far are ugly. I just think they don't take care of themselves. One guy is shown with incredibly chapped lips, so chapped that they are bleeding. It takes all of 5 seconds to apply lip balm. The guy with the long hair, would be attractive if he got a nice haircut. The guys don't look like they work out at all. They aren't ugly but its clear that they don't take care of themselves.

The guy with the long hair I would date but based on what I have seen so far in the documentary he doesn't seem like a nice person at all. However it seems that he actually has accepted that he isn't a stud muffin.

But that's just my opinion. As an unattractive girl it's probably not worth much anyway.

brandonlee12 · Answer

They are cowards, blaming other people or things for their problems, and this is why they never move forward in life. They always stay in the same spot. As rocky said if you what you worth, then go out get it?. I don't believe no one is ugly, because there is someone that likes you.  Anyway its physically impossible for any girl or guy to be attractive to everyone, because not everyone goes for looks, some girls like rich men rather than looks. Etc.

Anonymous · Answer

you lack oomph. you give off this vibe of self pity and selfisness like it's all about you you you mememememememmememememememe. Girls will subconsciously feel something about you the moment, they see you on first impressions. One chance and no more.

if you think you're a great person honestly what are the attributes?

there must be something good about you.

Tamikaze · Answer

As a guy, the most important factor is being successful.  As far as looks, honestly most guys and gals these days seem to think it makes you cool to eschew reasonable grooming habits or staying in shape.  It doesn't.  It just shows you don't care and people who do take care of themselves don't want to partner with someone who doesn't.

BrunetteNYC · Answer

But don't discount women are not all about HOW a guy looks.  Personality matters, loyalty, friendship, we look at that too.  We might look at handsome guys but if they are shallow they quickly seem ugly and we won't want them.

Apath4 · Answer

the awkward moment when you are not unattractive. & You think you are crazy for thinking you are. I was expecting an ugly guy to ask this

bigmike16 · Answer

I am not the most attractive dude on the planet and I am not bitching about not being successful in getting a girl. I could care less because that's not the only important thing in life. Plus if I am going to be interested in dating a girl. I am not going to just judge her looks and date her. I am obviously going to get to know them first.

SpoiledJeano · Answer

Some have unrealistic expectations and aim too high. Then get hurt, self pity sets in and boom. This happens

pr3ttybr0wn · Answer

Guys aren't taught their matter a lot like girls are.so some might think it doesn't matter how attractive they are, and may even cite few and far between  examples of ugly guy they know with hot gf.

circlebill · Answer

The woman in the attached video link explains it all beautifully! SHE TELLS THE TRUTH!

523206720 · Answer

That's right - get a job - get an education - get some volunteer hours - then stop complaining about it.

Anonymous · Answer

There are other reasons a woman would turn you down, besides your looks.  To think that is the only criteria we go off of is purely assinine.

Anonymous · Answer

it's not always looks... the kind of guys you are talking about aren't attractive not because "they are too nice" but because they are whiny...

Why can't men ever accept they don't get any girls because they are unattractive?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why can't men ever accept they don't get any girls because they are unattractive?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.