Why does he keep lying to me?

I've been with my man nearly a year and he keeps lying to me! I hate liars and I've had really bad experiences with lying b*tches. He's always promised that he'd tell the truth but that was one big lie too. I don't trust him at all and I don't even believe him when he says he loves me anymore. It started with him just hiding stuff from me then telling me weeks later until I went snooping and asked him about something and he lied straight to my face. I told him I didn't believe him and he got really defensive and wanted to break up because I was 'accusing him of being a liar'... when he was. I told him I knew the truth because I went snooping and he then said he was sorry and that he only did it because he didn't know how I'd react if he told the truth. He promised he wouldn't like again but he keeps doing it over the stupidest things. I'm trying to ignore it but I feel like I can't be with a liar anymore. I do love him though. That's why it hurts so much.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It hurts so much being in love with a liar?

    Oh man.

    You have not experienced the future outcome, when he cheats and lies about it.

    A thing about Liars, is that they evolve into Cheaters, because you have let them behave that way.

    • How do I stop him lying to me? Or do I just break up with him? I'd like to think he wouldn't cheat because he's been cheated on twice and he said it broke his heart but he once told me that he might end up kissing another girl when he gets drunk...

    • His telling you he might kiss another girl when he gets drunk is advance notice that he's willing to cheat on you.

      Go ahead and break up with him!

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What Guys Said 5

  • Unfortunately, if you can't trust him, then you can't have a healthy relationship. Cheating, yeah, it's horrible. But there are plenty of reasons that a relationship falls apart, and if there's no trust, that's a huge one. I know it hurts; and it will. And that stinks. But I would think that it hurts being lied to and not being able to trust him. I think there's an amount of doubt in what you're doing when you "snoop" or you feel you have to resort to snooping to get the truth; and in my opinion, that'd be a bigger pain. It's better to get out now instead of letting things progress more and more and you'll continue not to trust him. And then if things get... more serious... how will that work with a lack of trust? I'm not blaming you; I'm saying you have every reason to be mistrustful. But why keep it up?

    If your boyfriend saw the error of his ways (genuinely) and promised not to lie, and actually stopped... would you still be able to trust him? Would it take too long to rebuild that trust? or would at least some small part of you would still not quite believe him.

    And yes, it may be little things; and some people lie on occasion over "the little things" - but if he's lying and you're catching him on the little things, then what's stopping him from lying about bigger things? What big things has he got to hide if he's a habitual liar?

  • Why does he keep lying to you? Because you stay with him, even though he does it.

    You've got years and years ahead of you. Yes, it'll suck to break up with him. That will pass. Meeting someone new will certainly make up for it.

    Also, be aware that snooping doesn't encourage trust. If you think he's lying enough that you want to snoop...maybe you shouldn't be with him in the first place.

  • i understand not liking lying and liars. I also understand that there are times to say, bend the truth. since you don't give examples of what he lied about, I'll surmise that it's all dumb stuff. if he's going to lie bald faced about dumb stuff, can he be trusted to not lie about important stuff. generally no, he shouldn't. then again, it depends on the dumb stuff.

    • He lied about what he said to this girl and he hid the fact that she was meeting us until she turned up so I couldn't say no. He hid from me that a girl asked him for sex at a party too.. he told me that the girls there were taken but they were all single. He told me that I 'wasn't allowed' to come to that party too. The dumb stuff is him saying that he can't get on Facebook to talk to me when he was clearly on it to delete his messages to other people..

    • in that case, he's either a playa or a wannabe. either way. that's some serious lies. I'd get out if possible

  • He doesn't love you

  • Just break up with him he deserves it


What Girls Said 1

  • Okay why are you still with him? I get that you love him but he isn't going to change and if he was he would have by now... I mean it's been almost a year. You're wasting your time. You can't change someone who doesn't want to change. There are billions of people on this planet, you will find someone else who won't lie to you and will treat you as you're supposed to be treated. You say you're tired of it and you can't be with him anymore, so don't. Make it easy on yourself.