First of all, sex is never intimacy, intimacy is what you already have. Closeness and friendship define intimacy perfectly. I made the mistake of thinking the same in a relationship very similar to yours. I thought that it would bring us closer together if we "made love" and most times when we did get in to it, I felt guilty because I knew that she was only doing it to please me. Most times even when we kissed I felt like a pig because of the way she associated sexual activity with damnation and pain. It was clearly her upbringing; however, one cannot unlearn those insecurities over night. Long story short, she turned out to really enjoy sex, but she would soon after become overwhelmed with grief that it really was not worth the trouble. Eventually, these episodes led to resentment on both of our parts and we could no longer stand each other. This happened over the course of a year or so. I truly believed that I was in love with her, but I was incapable of loving her in the way that she needed to be loved.
Many people associate some sort of deviant feelings with sex which often makes it a touchy subject especially with women in religious organizations. With which there is nothing wrong with, You may just not be ready to have that kind of relationship and the hard part about your situation would be to reconcile the friendship as well as claim your freedom.
Currently I am in a relationship where I have sex and make love with my partner on a daily basis, even with this kind of activity it is dificult to get in to the moment after a long day. What I am trying to say is that you will always encounter problems in relationship, and no matter what anyone tells you, relationships require painful sacrifices sometimes. loving others the way that they need to be loved feels impossible most times but if you are willing to make those sacrifices, it is often worth the trouble in the end.
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Maybe she is not interested in sex right now. Maybe just wait a bit or maybe talk to her about your concerns. Communication is key in relationships
And what are her responses when you tell her about those feelings?
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Marry her.
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