Girlfriend and I broke up 5 days days ago. Now she has a new boyfriend. We were dating for 15 months...

[Anonymous]

my girlfriend and I broke up last week and now I found out yesterday that she has a new bf. is this possible? I mean of course it's possible, but can she just be doing this to cope/get over it? I can't see someone seriously dating someone a few days after they break up with their 15 month bf. by the way, we are both college seniors and while I broke up with her our breakup seemed very mutual.

if you were a girl and in this situation she is in how would you look at it? if you broke up with a boyfriend of over a year do you think you could date a guy a few days later? and if not would it just be a coping/rebound thing?

i don't think she was cheating because there were no signs whatsoever. I have never been with a cheater so I'm not sure what to expect really, but I got no hints she was cheating on me.

Updates

+1 y

just one quick update. they met a week before we broke up...so most likely cheating wasn't there... (and no she didn't tell me this)

[jbone79]

Why aren't you looking for someone new? Who cares if she FEDEX's overnight. Not your problem. Say hello to a couple of old friends...let me introduce you to them again.

1. This is freedom. Freedom to do as you please and answer to no one. You can stay and drink more beer if you want, you can rock out in the car as hard as you want. You can have breakfast for dinner, you can wash the shirts and towels together with no hassle and you can wash the dishes later! Freedom said it's been a long time. He suggests some travel and bad decisions with close friends. Maybe a camping trip or a Vegas weekend

2. This next group to my right is your friends you ignored while wrapped up spending time with your ex-girlfriend. Get to know them again...you will remeber why you liked them to begin with. I would suggest a strip club adventure to really get the band back together.

3. These 3 gentlemen to my left are Xbox 360, Plasma Tv, and dvd player. Welcome back. Sports, guitar hero, and no chick flicks for you good sir...only the best of Will Ferrell, Tenacious D's pick of destiny and some other really good sh*t on tv.

4. This last group behind me are all the other ladies that are now available...I know..it's a large group, you'll just have to spend some time with them to find the right one.

Single life can be however you want to paint it...it's your canvas Picasso, do it up! - j

[roadkingp]

Nice one I liked it!

[shrike092]

My opinion is that she left you for him, unless she comes back before long then my thoughts are telling me right, that's exactly what it sounds like though. If she does come back, figure out who left who, if he left her then you are the one being played as the rebound instead of her true lover. You can however steal her back if you find this is what you want. If she's not talking to you then tell me and I will tell you how to get her to almost recently, this method will literally get in her head, make her wonder about you, and before you know it she will text or call you back, (somehow get in touch with you) curiously.

[Deeplove55]

Then she knew how to hide it, hon. She's good cause No one is gonna make someone they just met 5 days ago there partner already. Its obvious she was already seeing this guy while you all were together. Who knows how long but yes she was already with him and now its perfect for them to be together now. Not to say she wants to be with him. She could just have done that in hope that you would hear about it thinking she moved on with no problem. Maybe. Could I tho? well, yes if that helped me get over my break up. that would be a rebound, for the wrong reasons but in 5 days he's already ny boyfriend after I just broke up with my other bf? Then I already have been seeing this person for some time and hid it well from you. Some people know how to play it right.

[timberlake]

she was definitely cheating on you, sorry. no girl has a boyfriend after a break up that she wasn't expecting. there's a great deal of devestation involved. she probably was leading you to break up with her so she wouldn't have to be the bad guy. people can be real manipulative and underhanded. sounds like she pulled a good number on you. even a rebound isn't solidified into a relationship so soon after a break up. she was definitely seeing this man during the relationship. even if she didn't sleep with him or anything, she definitely was feeling him/he was feeling her and she jumped at the chance of making it official the moment you let her go.

[sunlovingme]

I have dated a guy right after a break up to try to get over a girl. I think this is a difference stereotypically between guys and gals. Gals seem to go out with another guy soon after to get over a guy. Chances are this is a rebound and won't lead to anything. The best thing to do is play it cool. Perhaps you going out with someone will make her realize you are not just sitting around waiting for her.

[windyone]

Well this does help some girls get past the break up. Personally I don't think this helps this situation it just makes it worse. I would stay single and work on myself rather then jump into another relationship and it kinda makes her look weak like she can t be alone. Like she always needs a guy around. But you don't know if they are serious maybe they are just hanging out cause if they are serious I would say she was cheating. I say that cause how do you meet someone and get serious in 5 days?

[dave216]

I am afraid you are a bit naive. You say you ended the relationship, and I believe you, but she at a minimum knew it was coming and more likely steered you too it. She has kept you on the string for the last month until she had your replacement firmly ready. Girls usually plan ahead better than guys. And they are much more in tune with relationship problems. She either met someone she liked better or sensed a growing distance with you and replaced you.

[Blindness]

I think there are two possibilities:

This new guy is a rebound.

Or she broke up with you to be with him. Girls tend to have a Plan B before they bail out of a relationship. I think this is the more likely possibility.

[Asker]

Well I broke up with her

[Blindness]

If you wanted to get back together at some vague point in the future, why did you break up with her last week?

[Asker]

Because we needed time apart. it was a "mutual" decision, but I broke it off.

[Blindness]

I suspect something's missing from this story.

Why did you need time apart?

If you simply needed time apart, why did you have to break up entirely? Why not, for example, have a weekend to yourself so you can think?

[Blindness]

I think there's another possibility:

What if the new guy had his eye on her, and he swooped in once he knew she was single?

[Asker]

Well we were fighting a lot in the last month of our relationship so it wasn't fair for us to continue.

also, I am heading out of state for an internship so the lack of communication/lack of seeing each other probably couldn't have come at a worse time.

[Asker]

"What if the new guy had his eye on her, and he swooped in once he knew she was single?"

most likely.

that's my guess.

he probably saw her and when he found out she was single he made his move.

i can't see that working out to be honest, but oh well.

[Blindness]

What were the fights about? The internship? Did you want to see other people during the internship? Was she worried you'd cheat?

I still think there's a lot of important information you're withholding.

(Incidentally, I had a disastrous relationship with a girl who was "on a break" with a guy who was out of town for a three month internship.)

[Asker]

I think I need to message you or something, but no the fights weren't about my internship. I never mentioned I wanted to see other girls and she never mentioned the fact she was worried I'd see other girls. we just didn't get along in month 15 like we didn't in month 1 or 5, etc.

honestly I am not withholding anything.

we broke up because we fought a lot the last month.

not over anything specific -- we just had stupid arguements.

does that sound crazy? I don't know I've not been in many relationshi

[Blindness]

It seems obvious to me that the internship was probably a factor in the breakup. An indirect factor, perhaps, just contributing to overall stress.

And the reason I thought you were withholding something was that you didn't give a lot of backstory. I didn't necessarily mean that you were being deceptive, I just thought there was more to the story...

[Asker]

Ps. I sent you a message.

[morg822]

if the breakup seemed mutual and she already has a new boyfriend it seems like she lost feelings a long time ago but didn't have the nerve to say anything...but it could also be a rebound. I know if I was dating a guy that long I deff would not be over the relationship that quickly it takes time to heal and move on if you truly loved that person

[miranugh]

She was likely over you long before the actual break up. It just took her that long to work up the nerve to end it. And yes, that is a cowardly thing to do, but it's possible that she grieved the relationship long before it ended.

On the other hand, this could be a meaningless rebound. This question was posted nearly a year ago so my answer if probably irrelevant now, but maybe it'll help someone else.

[Sparkz]

i think that maybe she wanted to break up to get with this new guy, or it could be a rebound thing.. but if I were you id be heartbroken.. sorry! its way too soon to even be thinkin about another guy.. I know its over between you guys, but I don't think that makes it ok.. out of respect for you she shouldnt be acting like that.. she can't have cared about you that much if she can move on so fast.. unless she was losing feelings a while ago :(

[mellowtone]

hey, I am going thru the exact same thing as you right now. same age, etc, etc, similar story..

its so painful and I understand what you're going thru and feeling.

it would be great to talk to you. I'm so confused right now.

please give me a message when you can. [e-mail]

[roadkingp]

Hey I suspect cheating! I am taking more than a year to recuperate losing sleep and food, how can she do it in just such small period. Stop being nice to her and move on.

[jbone79]

Your grasping at straws here buddy. Take my advice. A whole brave new world is out there waiting for you. If only you will allow yourself to take the first step into it. - j

[darkangelina]

You shouldn't have dumped her; unless your reason was justified of course.. One man's trash is another man's treasure ... sorry xD

[sherry84]

some girls can't face their breakup so to escape the pain she fast gets w soeone else.she might have feelings for you still.

[cango2]

Be done with it and say ok. You can do better than that.

[chettah-two]

Since you the one who broke it off, my guess its likely a rebound...

[Anonymous]

she doesn't have to wait for you forever you guys were done and that's that.

[skissedbeautiful33]

i think she is just trying to make you jealous. I doubt they will last very long. a lot of girls do that.

[timberlake]

how do you know that?

[Asker]

I know this sounds crazy, but I checked her face book and they were friends 3 days before we broke up. I know that's facebook, so it could have been an elaborate scheme to wait until we were about to break up to be "friends."

[timberlake]

Yeah, I was gonna say that. but the better question is (and I don't want to sound rude) but why do you care? you dumped her, right? if she moved on, she moved on. she has that right now that you guys are broken up. you didn't want her anyway, I'm assuming, so why is it bothering you that she has a bf?

[Asker]

Yea I totally understand what you are saying. but I also thought that after some time away we could possibly get back together.

[timberlake]

Well, you can't really put her "oh hold". she's not going to wait around because you might get with her in the future. that's just the way it is. when you break up with someone, you end things and there's a slim to none chance that the girl will take you back (and if she does, she's probably still depressed over the break up and just wants things to get back to normal). it looks like she's over it if she's already in a relationship. maybe she was expecting the break up? idk

[Asker]

I definitely appreciate your insight. I'm not sitting here depressed, losing sleep and going insane. I am upset, but you are right -- we are broken up. if things happen between us again then ok, if they don't they dont. also I'm not even sure if this guy is her boyfriend (probably something I should have pointed out earlier). maybe they are just seeing each other or dating. but I don't regret breaking up because things were different between us.

[timberlake]

Well that's good. maybe he's just some guy she met and she's trying to make a friend. whatever it is, it doesn't matter so long as you're comfortable with your decision to break up with her. I know it's really an ego thing tho. you kinda feel like "damn, didn't I mean anything to her?' probably, but... what are you going to do? deep breaths man and move on. good luck!

[Shlei3]

It sounds like a rebound relationship

[RandomGuyNumberTwo]

My guess is... rebound?

[girlygirl2]

you were dating a hoe=[

[sumina7]

Good riddance!