Hello, I’m pretty new to GaG, it seems like a really good way of getting questions answered and helping other people out. I think it’s a great example of how to use the internet to make yourself feel better and realise you aren’t alone, in fact everyone out there has the same or similar problems to you.
However I have found that one thing since I arrived here has been bothering me more and more and it is this: DEAR GOD DO A LOT OF YOU LOVE TO GENERALIZE! I mean don’t get me wrong that isn’t to say that there aren’t general trends in people’s behaviour and preferences but can we all just stop it with the cut and dry? (I'm done being angry now, I'm going to give a slightly more reasonable argument from now on)
Let me take the example of the first myTake that came up when I opened the page: Women aren't really attracted to good looks, personality, or money, but rather the confidence associated with them. Ok so don’t get me wrong, sometimes that is true but let us not forget that sometimes it also isn’t. You need to be careful when you put 100% certain statements like that because I definitely know girls who value looks over confidence. I personally thought this article was excellent but I just wish it was made clear that you can’t generalise all girls’ preferences in one sweeping statement.
Another pretty awful one that comes up is What Girls look for in Guys. This is wrong for exactly the same reasons, girls don’t just look for one type of person, or we’d all be competing for one guy. In reality girls love a lot of things about guys and there is no wrong or right way to be. You just need to keep your head up, be yourself and keep looking for that girl who likes the unique combination of characteristics that make you who you are. Reading these articles won’t help you find out exactly what every single girl is looking for. It may however help you find out what the most commonly desired traits are but that really is no ultimatum to live you life by.
When you generalise you have already built a flaw into your argument because you can never ever ever say “all men” or “all women”. There will always be one person who can prove you wrong. It is also very misleading and can lead to the construction of stereotypes that just aren’t true. Many stereotypes that piss off both genders come from people saying all women and all men. For example: all men only think about sex 24/7 is completely wrong because if Einstein was only thinking about sex theoretical physics would be way behind where it is now, and all feminists are man haters is also a load of rubbish because feminists come in a wide spectrum of views not just one unified opinion, the only thing that truly binds them is that they don't think the current status quo is fair. These stereotypes can be harmful and also when you assume things about a person and that assumption turns out to be wrong you can ruin friendships and relationships before they even start.
The stereotype that americans view the world this way does not apply to all americans and the stereotypes in this map don't apply to all of the people who live in that region. Embrace diversity guys, stop categorising!
And this really brings me to my main point. There are people of all different types on GaG, I’m prepared to bet that we have a lot of underage kids on here, I also think we have some very clever people on here who think it’s funny to quote rubbish they know is wrong, there are also less clever people on here who take what others say at face value. When you generalise you’re confusing people (less mentally endowed than yourself) with ideas and stereotypes which can go on to have negative effects on their real lives.
So can we use GaG for what it’s meant to be used for, for answering questions and giving opinions but all the while bear in mind that we need to keep things realistic? Allow for people who don’t fit in to your predefined categories and accept for once and for all that it isn’t “all men” and “all women” it is “some men” and “some women”. Can we change our wording from ‘all’ to ‘some’ or ‘most’, can we change ‘everytime’ to ‘sometimes’ and can we remember to say ‘in my experience’ or ‘as far as I’m aware’ before delivering a crushing generalisation which let’s be honest, even the writer know is untrue.
I’m enjoying my time on GaG, I’m just hoping to contribute in some way to people giving more accurate advice which allows for differences in opinions and preferences :) Have a lovely day everyone.
Disclaimer: For the sake of not generalising may I make it abundantly clear that this article does not refer to ALL GaGers, only SOME.