When my therapist told me to spend some time on a website like this, it didn't make any sense. I mean, why the would a medical professional just tell me to fuck around on the Internet and expect me to feel better?
What I didn't realize was that he was actually being a sneaky bastard. For weeks he'd ask me how I felt about things in my life, in other people's lives, and in the world in general. My response? I honestly didn't give a fuck.
So after he got tired of my "nihilism" as he called it, he said I had to pick a Q&A website and spend at least 20 minutes a day online. There was quora, ask, yahoo, and some others, but I chose GAG for some reason.
I figured out that it was easier to ask and answer questions with a keypad instead of in person. Not only was it easier, It felt good. In fact, the best feeling was reading a comment that was full of racism, or sexism, or other kinds of stupid and making it clear that they were wrong.
It was like voicing my opinions flipped a switch somewhere in my head. suddenly I realized "Hey, I actually do give a shit about some things."
So then I went back to the therapist the next week. Instead of him talking and me listening, WE started talking and over the course of 3 hrs he was able to drag out all the pain and suffering that I had piled into the back of my mind for more than a decade.
It felt like knives in my chest the whole fuckin time, but I was ready to start dealing with it because I had been opened up to thinking about stuff and it help me realize that I had things I still wanted to know and more than anything, things I want to fix.
I still have a long way to go, but I just want to thank this website for being the resource of an clever, caring, eccentric asshole with a combover.
Peace out guys, and share your feelings😊