An Open Letter To My Fellow G@G Users (And an Apology to a Few)

When I came here two years ago, I had no idea what to expect.

An Open Letter To My Fellow G@G Users (and an apology to a few).

I'm not even sure how it happened. I was Googling while searching for OPINIONS on a very personal, and somewhat embarrassing question. I didn't bother to use the "anon" feature. I thought I'd be here for a day or two, long enough to get some varying opinions about the issue in question, and move on.

Just in case you're wondering, I long ago "disavowed" that question, so wherever it is buried, it's anonymous now. I had no clue how G@G works or anything about how the users interact with one another. For one thing, I'd have chosen and cooler/easier user name. I'd also have answered and replied to some other questions before posting one of my own. But....I didn't know....and I wanted opinions. So, I barged right in and posted my question. Admittedly, I knew ahead of time that some people would consider it controversial. That was not really a concern, as it was a personal issue to me, one that was of immediate importance.

I'm pretty good at troll and catfish spotting, but contrary to what a few G@G users seem to believe, none of us can be right 100% of the time.

Not to mention, I don't really care about catfish at all. I may make an occasional comment, but they don't bother me, so I really don't give any hoots. Most trolls don't bother me either, with the exception of the antagonistic few that seem to only be here to bait and attempt to trigger anger and anxiety in other people.

And on occasion, I'm sure that I've been wrong about someone trolling or being a catfish. Thinking back to that first question - my G@G cherry as it was - it received a LOT of answers for a brand new user. I can't recall for sure, but it seems like maybe >20% called me a "troll". And they were wrong. I was dead serious about my question, and I'm still here.

I'm sarcastic, and some people take that the wrong way.

I know you're shocked. LOL. I'm acutely aware that some people here think I'm a complete bitch. I'm really not, but I don't blame them for thinking that, if I left that impression. I never mean to be insensitive or mean to others, unless it's 100% obvious that said person is here to attempt to piss people off. Which, many know, and some others don't seem to get, simply can't be done on me. IF I get snippy, I may be annoyed, but never angry. It's just me being me.

So, if I ever ASS-umed you to be trolling and you weren't, or otherwise made you feel bad because I made an insensitive comment to you, I apologize. Really. Not kidding. I'm going to try to slow my roll a little bit, and be a little more sensitive to possibilities.

If I blocked you, I'm not sorry.

Another thing I've noticed on G@G in the last year or so, is more and more saltiness. There seem to be a larger amount of argumentative "gotta get the last word in" users that will just go on and on and on just arguing for the sense of arguing until the other person just tires of it. These seem, for the most part, to be users under 20 years old in my experience. I've even seen these users say that they "take pride" in being blocked as some sort of triumph. LOL.

I have news for you, this doesn't mean that "you won". But if that makes you feel better, by all means, tell yourself that. No one "wins" an Internet argument. There's VERY little true civilized debate here on G@G anymore. In fact, the word "Ask" (in the website name) could be changed to "Hate" these days, and of course the full circle arrow goes in BOTH directions.

I used to try not to block people here. And then I came to realize that we ALL have our priorities and reasons for being on this site. I don't have what I'd consider a high number of users blocked, but it's more than a small handful. You may find sometime that I've blocked you having never interacted with you personally. That's happened to me a few times as well. If I happen to notice a posting behavioral pattern that is something I find extremely negative, I may block you. If I see the same thing over and over and over and/or it appears to me that your primary M.O. here is to try to get people's ire up, I'll block you as a preemptive measure. I don't have time or desire to argue with people who have no other intention.

I've also found it necessary to "block back" when people block me first. Otherwise, they tend to temporarily unblock, and "hit and run" post. I was in the "we don't need the down vote back" - but I've since found in a handy tool in these situations.

You'll also find yourself blocked if your agenda is to use slurs, or make offensive, judgmental posts about any group or race of people. I have no time for that baloney. Of course, most users that do that ABUSE the anonymous feature, which is another debate altogether. As 90% of the time, they're either making the stuff up just to get reactions, or are they're too ashamed to show their user names if they actually believe the hateful things that they post.

So having clarified the above, my hope is that some of you will join me in trying to make positive changes to the G@G community.

I'll never stop being sarcastic. That's my sense of humor. But I can be more careful with it. When you posses the weapon of wit, it is incumbent on the owner to use it with care. To that end, I will do my best to draw that sword less often and with greater caution. I'm not mean person, so there's no need for me to give users here a reason to think that I am.

That said, if you come at me, know what to expect. And if you end up blocked, tell yourself whatever you need to. I just refuse to to spend my time with someone that has no intention of listening to others with an opposing view, or even to reason for that matter.

Thinking back to my very first post/question, I believe it would do ALL of us some good to TRY to be less judgmental of people here, and those around us in general. The people that judged me to be a troll, were wrong. And I'm sure I've been wrong about some others.

Of course, we can expect some "hate". It's the Internet. It's just a sad but true fact of life. I suppose that's why I wrote a satirical take on my own experience here a while back.

http://www.girlsaskguys.com/girlsaskguys/a29548-a-satirical-look-into-the-gag-life-of-cheergirl38139-that-s-right

Do we have "a Right" to ASS-ume things and judge others? Well, yeah. But does it make it RIGHT to do so? Not really. None of us have been elected the morality police or the user's intent police. So, would it hurt to dial that stuff down a notch?

This place COULD be a place where people actually get and give advice, and post thought provoking questions. It sometimes is, but it seems to me it's become less and less of that, and more and more of questions with intentionally baited polls, and just general judgmental, immature, salty behavior.

I'm choosing the other path. As I said, I can't change my personality, and I don't really want to. What I CAN do, is try to be understanding and patient, and less presumptive about the intentions of others. You may want to join me, or you may not. No hard feelings if you don't. Just don't expect me to engage in elongated negativity with you. I have better things to do.

Now...you probably didn't read this, and that's cool. Feel free to accept my apology if I've offended you without warrant. You are welcome to join me in more positive interaction. Or...you are welcome to flame me. Just keep it within the posting rules.

I'll be seeing you around. :)

PS. Don't bother asking what that question was. I'm not reigniting that wildfire.


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What Guys Said 27

  • 19d
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  • 1mo

    In my practice, I tell clients that we will spend some time talking about their legal rights but we'll spend more time talking about what is the right thing to do. I noticed your use of that verbal twist in your myTake.

    Very nice! Even OlderAndWiser benefited from reading this. Thank you.

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  • 1mo

    Interesting letter

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  • 1mo

    I never really knew you till like 6-8 months ago when I realized you had me blocked :O
    xD

    But I do find your sarcasm and wit entertaining sometimes, since I'm just like that.
    We don't generally agree with much, but it was a nice Take.

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  • 25d

    We never bickered! but you did get quiet... :(

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  • 28d

    I like your point of view, fantastic Take :D

    http://i.imgur.com/vkMfQug.gif

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  • 28d

    So true about "winning" on the internet part. I've seen your posts around the site and I like your sarcasm. I agree, let's make G@G a more positive place.

    Great take, and good luck, dear xx ;p

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  • 29d

    I'm not going to lie, I got bored and stopped reading when I got to the winning by being blocked part. Which by the way I can see a side of an argument for. I mean if you block someone who is arguing with you then you have kind of given up.

    But anyway what was your first question?

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    • 29d

      LOL, so you're the kid in the meme about "winning" Internet argument?

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    • 28d

      LOL. I know you can read being a "Guru" and all. :)

    • 28d

      But I want the wildfire reignited

  • 29d

    You are sarcastic? I never sensed an ounce of sarcasm in you 😮😮😜😜

    I am glad I've never been blocked. I got your back tho dudette😎

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    • 29d

      Well no good deed goes unpunished bro. We all have our haters.

      And some people are going to ASS-ume they "win" every time me (or anyone) blocks them. Best to let those people just go on believing that. :)

  • 29d

    You ain't done nothing to me but I accept the apology anyway. Next time though. . . I won't let you off the hook so easy

    media.giphy.com/media/QDK1pCI43lGhO/giphy.gif

    (Also don't moderate me pls)

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  • 30d

    I wonder if I'm blocked...

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  • 30d

    Did you receive a message from G@G to tone down?

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    • 30d

      LOL. No why?

      This is voluntary in the lead by example genre. However, Im not pretending that I can magically have patience with obvious fucktardery. 😂😂

    • 30d

      That bitch threatened you that she'll PM admins because you called her a catfish. So, I thought that's why you shared this take.

  • 30d

    great take.

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  • 1mo

    I'm pretty sure there's an internet rule about this sort of thing 🤔

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  • 1mo

    Pretty much a ditto here, well said. I came here with good intentions to ask some questions and got reaosnsable responses and kept going... posting my own responses.

    I noticed it can be hard to interpret sarcasm at times. If one doesn't know a posters personality, it is very easy to mis communicate. I often include a "sarcasm" or lol if I'm trying to joke. I try not to hurt people, I hurt one girl and didn't mean to. Some people are in a fragile state. I think if this site can retain people like you, across age groups, and build a group of dedicated people, it is a powerful force...

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  • 1mo

    I've only been on here for three days and am enjoying it. After reading your letter, I'm disapointed to hear that the idiots of the world are ruining this site too. I enjoyed your letter. It's consise and to the point. I didn't know people got to know each other on here. I thought it was all private. You gave me information I'm glad I now have. Good luck to you!

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  • 1mo

    https://youtu.be/ZjNVHMh7p80
    Kidding... kidding lol Pretty good apology. :)

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  • 1mo

    wow.
    That was hard to take all that in for my dyslexic brian put got the jist of it and agree.

    You know I have always loved you and will always.
    you're one off the good ones, Never change just to please someone not that you would.

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  • 1mo

    This is a nice letter. I came back a month later after I deactivated my first account. Troll or catfish, I dont fuck with anyone here anymore. I turned off all my notifications so I don't have to read the comments on my opinions. I do block people I dislike. I don't write mytakes or ask questions because people on the Internet are not worth either of those things from me. I feel like it's better that way for me personally.

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    • 1mo

      I understand. For a long time, I also chose to not ask questions. Now, I do, but I take care as to what types of questions I ask, and usually include pics and/or links to make them at least a tiny bit more interesting to read and answer.

  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 17

  • 27d

    This is awesome, I really connected with everything you wrote, great take.
    I haven't even been here for a year, but there's definitely been an increase in saltiness and people being intentionally antagonistic or starting beef, and I really hope that dies down.
    P. S. you're like, one of my favourite users on here, and I love your sarcasm ahah

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  • 1mo

    Nice take.
    The salty part is so true. So many people got so salty about my recent question and it was so weird. I didn't even say anything offensive. One guy even told me "fuck you" and reported me. It didn't even make any sense.

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  • 1mo

    you're one of the coolest people here, not sure why you're apologizing

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  • 1mo

    I am so Proud, @CheerGirl38319, to Have you as My Friend.
    PUR-FECT!!!
    Good luck and Beautifully Done, hun. xx

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    • 1mo

      ha let's not go that far. But thank you!

    • 1mo

      lol!! Thanks for the Like and a long as YOU don't go FAR.
      You had me nervous you were leaving here. xx

  • 28d

    If you don't want to read my follow-up to Cheer Girl that's okay. Read our take two or three times as it hits the mark.
    It was only yesterday that you and I were talking privately and I mentioned why I asked to follow you. I've been doing so for approximately the same time you've been on gag. Allow me to share why I did so a year and half ago and why I continue to enjoy our, "follow."
    I begin by saying that of all the people on this website you consistently present an intelligent, well thought thesis to whatever the topic may be. To a far greater extent than anyone else, whether they be experts or whatever label may be your comments are not self-serving, rarely argumentative, never tangential and always informative.
    I am certain that people are reading my comment and some are saying or thinking, "wow this chick must be a lesbian for she is going overboard." Now I'm not a lesbian. What I am is an admirer of intelligence and brains. It is rare for me to disagree with what you present. And once again reading your take I agree with 98% of it. The 2% that's difficult is as with everyone who tries humor or sarcasm, it is difficult at times to know where someone's coming from because in print it doesn't always come out. I am just as guilty. In fact you and I were talking about a subject I was sarcastic in my reply and it didn't come across as such.
    Now to address some of what you mentioned in your recent take. I agree, too many of the argumentative or rude trolling posts are made by the under 20 group. This is not a criticism of being young it is our comment to which I agree that, "winning" on the Internet is reality to some people and that the under 20 group somehow believes that you can "WIN." I have blocked those trolls who persist in dissecting a reply to the point where further comment is useless because the argument will continue based on some tangential point that only favors the troll.
    It is impossible to convince the troll one way or the other because they want to argue. It is also impossible to let them know they are acting in an immature fashion because the more immature someone is the more they think they know everything. The older you get the more you realize you don't know much.

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    • 28d

      . I'm 25 and I wish I knew was much as I thought I did when I was 17. Somehow I got dumber. I don't have all the answers but I have a much more mature opinion.
      Now the sex part because that comes up 90% of the time. We have two extremes here. Those who are extremely religious, want to be virgins until they are married and believe that the vast majority of the people on earth who do not believe in their Victorian ways are, "SLUTS." At the other end we have on the same website those who ask, "please describe to me how to give a good blow job," or how to convince my girlfriend that rectal sex is a good thing or would you rather have a gang bang that includes three females and six guys or six guys four females or, "is my boyfriend using me when he takes videos of me giving him a blow job and gives the videos out to all his friends?"
      Reality is somewhere in the middle. I say that because I am certain that the Victorian way

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    • 28d

      ." For those of you who don't understand that means stop cursing at each other and stop playing holier than thou and stop believing that your way is the only way and that you know all the answers. I say this knowing full well that I don't know all the answers. But we will never learn from each other unless we stop dumping on each other and start listening. If this were University we'd all be thrown out for not allowing free speech. In fact recently the University of Chicago came out with a message to the freshman saying that they allow free speech and they will not cancel speakers just because they are controversial. I know this is not the University of GAG but we all would gain a lot more knowledge and understanding if we stopped cutting people down. It would allow individuals to express how they feel in their opinion without being afraid of repercussions.

    • 28d

      "I was picked up in a bar Friday night." Oh you f---ing slut. You will rot in hell. Jesus says so etc. etc. that is not the way to learn about the opposite sex. So again to paraphrase Cheer Girl, everybody needs to calm down.

  • 28d

    I read this a couple of days ago and meant to comment sooner. I just ran out of time at work and then forgot. Loved this... that's all I gotta say!

    67.media.tumblr.com/.../...1m6zqHII1qi9fgw_500.gif

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  • 29d

    I read this and sent you a friend's request because I got curious about your posts and what you have written and with your current settings, I can not see what you have written. I hope that if you accept the friend's request, I will be able to see what you have written and then I can judge you on what you post.

    I am not sure about you just since this is the only thing that I can recall reading from you.

    In my experience, people that like to declare themselves sarcastic but block people are the ones that enjoy dishing it out but can't handle it themselves.

    I have no idea if this applies to you or not. Being able to see your posting history will help me in having an informed opinion. We are what we post afterall.

    I hope you are up to the challenge.

    Like you said, this place good be great and I think one step in making this place great is by making posting history available to other posters. Think of it as a productive step in making this place a better place for others.

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    • 29d

      Well, I did accept your request, but I'll tell you a couple of things.

      First of all, you are welcome to look around for yourself, I can (and do) take it. I'm not one of "those" people. I've never once blocked anyone that I traded sarcasm with back and forth because they "butt-hurt" me. As I said, I'm just trying to dial it down a notch. As moderators, it's unbecoming to get into an elongated public insult battle... although I do find it fun sometimes, and do not take it personally when its dished back at me. :)

      Secondly, I try not to judge others, and I don't really care for your phrasing "judge you on what you post". But if that's your M. O., be my guest

      s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...d7cfa9a89f.jpg

      You may (or may not) find this interesting reading as well.

      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a29548-a-satirical-look-into-the-gag-life-of-cheergirl38139-that-s-right

  • 29d

    Good take.
    You've never wronged me, and I you, so I think we're good.
    I especially agree with the "saltiness" of people. I was just blocked right now. They had to get the last word in, I guess.

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    • 29d

      Thanks. Yeah. Blocks are just nothing to get concerned about. Sometimes it's a shame when someone blocks you because they misread you... but oh well... their loss. ✌

    • 29d

      Yup. :)

  • 29d

    Good 4 u 👍👍👍

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  • 29d

    Just make sure you're still happy with yourself at the end of the day. That's more important than this horrid site under any circumstance.

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  • 30d

    This mytake is so you and so good babe ♥♥♥

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  • 1mo

    "So having clarified the above, my hope is that some of you will join me in trying to make positive changes to the G@G community." Yes! Honestly, we all get snippy at times-we're human. But I'll definitely join you to try to make this community better, one opinion at a time.

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  • 1mo

    You're not a 🐩! Lol I get your sarcasm❤

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  • 1mo

    Yeah I agree

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  • 1mo

    As a sarcastic Bitch myself I appreciate your sarcasm. LOL I haven't been here all that long myself but you truly are one of my favorites on here. You have your feet firmly grounded, your head screwed on straight and you belive in all the right things. I believe you have the potential to go far and do good things. I wish nothing but the best for you!

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  • 1mo

    And with reading that take we all may be taking one step closer to the community gag was meant to be.
    Cheers cheergirl 💟

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  • 1mo

    I always found your sarcasm cute :)

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