The day my ego got really hurt that I'm even writing about it now

A guy friend told me I look like a mom and im only 18. Probably bc I have a new haircut. I was really insulted bc he said it out loud. I didn't know how to react. It was fn embarrassing. I wanted to act unaffected but ended up forcing an awkward smile and not saying anything back. I felt defenseless. Not knowing what to do next.

This guy has always been playful so I got used to it. But he just went overboard that day. He could have just told me privately if he's really icky to say it out.

I asked a girl friend if I really look like a mom on our way home and she said yes. i said maybe it's because of the type of bag i was carrying. But she said no, she said my face just looks like of a mom. This shocked me bc she used to say im attractive and charismatic.

I just really feel bad and embarrassed. I skipped school today bc I dont understand people anymore. One day they shower you with compliments, the next day they embarrass you.

The girl friend knew I was embarrassed because it was obvious but instead of consoling me, she added injury to the damage. I didn't need her to say I dont look like a mom when thats what she really sees. I just felt like she didn't really care if i was hurt.

My esteem got crushed with one blow. I didn't realize how fragile it is and I hate it. In fact, I just hate everyone now.

The day my ego got really hurt that Im even writing about it now

I dont need to get dissed for being shallow or oversensitive. I know what I am. I just want you to hear how cruel people can be sometimes.


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What Guys Said 12

  • many people ask me if i have kids, i look like a father... i don't take it the wrong way.

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  • I've been called much worse and I've never missed a day of school. People suck, I get it but you can't let them hold power over you like this. They only ruin your life if you let them.

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  • Ever consider the possibility that it was a negative comments. Your her child ofcourse you look like her. And if she's pretty then even more so that's a compliment.

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  • People will always judge you no matter how you cut your hair or arrange your wardrobe.

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  • it's best to say how this upset you...

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  • Mom is a son's first love... so this is not a big deal after all.. it expressed his feeling for you in immatured way...

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    • What a positive thought! Thank you!

  • There are a few possible options here:

    1. Insulting (both 'playful' insults and slightly harsher insults) are a classic textbook player / pickup-artist technique - players insult girls specifically in order to break down their self-esteem, breaking down a girl's self-esteem causes her to psychologically lower her standards as to what men she will accept (and thus be more likely to sleep with the player) as well as subconsciously make them want to work to 'prove' their attractiveness and desirability to the player (e. g. by sleeping with them, which restores the self-esteem). Blowing hot and cold (one day compliments, insults the next) is also *classic* textbook player / pick up artist technique), the emotional rollercoaster wears down a girls "defenses".

    2. He might just be a dick

    3. Your haircut might really make you look like a mom

    I vote it's 1 based on your description of the rest of his behavior. IMPORTANT: It's not personal, you're just a "target".

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    • @"MPORTANT: It's not personal, you're just a "target". "

      Actually, the opposite is true even: The fact that he's playing you means he wants to sleep with you, so you can't be all that bad.

      However, this is not relationship material and it will *only* hurt you to get involved with him in any way. Better to stay away.

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  • Its just your new appearance that resembles a mom and thats why they are saying that. Don't over think it as a bad thing and make yourself sad.

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  • Would you have preferred everyone kept quiet about your new look, and have the new boys you meet write you off because of your appearance?

    Yes, the guy could have been more tactful in how he told you, but it's good to know. Now you can get a different hairstyle that appeals to more people.

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  • Maybe it's about time you BE a mom now...

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  • I would take it as a compliment if you are 18 and you look older it shows you look more mature. I always have gone for older women im 18 and dating a 20 year old. Just be fun, you will see. You will attract the guys in college, i wouldn't sweat it too much.

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    • The way he said it tho. He was giggling. And the term mom is degrading when you refer it to a young person. It means you're worn-out or something like that. If he meant something positive, he would have just used the word mature instead.

      But I respect all the mothers. It's just that this term has different meanings nowadays. And people are being tactless.

      Thanks (y)

    • Teenage guys do a lot of stupid stuff. I use to say the same hurtful things to girls. I really didn't realize the impact it had on their self esteem at the time i just tried to be funny. I went at it all wrong and it seems like this guy did the same thing. He was probably just fishing for attention or purposefully trying to make you self conscious. Seriously dont let it bother you, if they dont like you for being yourself they aren't worth your time. If you want to look "younger" maybe look at the way you are doing your make up.

    • Yeah. I've decided to be better, not for him, but for myself. Thanks

What Girls Said 11

  • I don't consider someone calling you a mom to be "cruel." Far more cruel and evil things happen in this world. Yes, maybe it upset you a little to be told you look like a mom but is that really a reason to skip school? I don't think so.

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    • Somehow, i really just needed a break. i dont regret it. I think you dont have to endure it all the time. Give in to what your body needs and you'll be better. I am better now

  • I wouldn't say having someone tell you you look like a mum is an insult or should be taken in a way to cause you embarrassment, it certainly doesn't justify missing school over it. You most likely look mature in your face and it was a neutral comment. You shouldn't have taken it so badly and that is not an incident which represents cruelty; it's far from.

    I'm surprised this got promoted seeing as comments are removed for text speak and poor grammar.

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  • Dont't let these people get to you. once they see they have an effect on you'll they'll do it some more. Just do you and walk with your head high! I'm sure you're gorgeous

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  • A guy fucked me painfully and then called me ugly and fat the next day. There are worse things in the world... it's okay to be upset but you shouldn't care about it that much.

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  • I'd rather been told that I look like a mom than the following:
    A slut
    A grandma
    A (b) itch
    A guy
    There's worse things to be called... Don't let some dumb boy and a so-called friend make you feel less than. Next time, say thanks. If you like the hair cut that you have to wear on YOUR head than move on. Their opinions shouldn't matter to the point where you skip school. Besides, they're not thinking about what they said to you, they probably even forgot. Lastly, it's just hair, it'll grow back. I had mine a pixie in 2013, mine grew nearly down my back. It will grow my dear.

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  • can i see a pic?

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  • Don't feel bad about it, it just means you look more mature then most people your age.

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  • There are worse things that could happen. Its nothing to miss school over. That's only hurting you. I used to get bullied and I was assaulted AT school and no one gave one flying fk. But I still went because some assholes weren't going to ruin my chances of a better future. I went to better my chances of getting out of that town. Don't let them get to you. Sometimes looking like a mom is a good thing. Some moms are hot. I should know, my mother is always being flirted with. Because she looks like my sister. So I assume she's a hot mom to guys. So just go to school. Be happy. Don't cut your hair like that again. Style it different. Get over it. I'm not dissing you. I'm telling you like it is.

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    • you're right. I should let him ruin my life! Im going to rock this hairdo! Thank you.

    • Yes exactly! :) Glad to help. :)

  • You're being overdramatic.

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  • I don't understand how this is offensive, their not calling you ugly but I'm not you anyway it's not something to miss school over, I don't like this you get a free education which is more important than being teased please don't miss school again over little things like this.

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  • Girl please get a backbone. This is nothing to miss school over. You know what people talk about more than they do about how old someone looks? How weak they are. I can almost bet you those very people that said you looked like a "mom" were talking about you missing school because of that very incident. People thrive off if weak minded people. Toughen up those are just words. Just so long as YOU know and feel deep down that you're beautiful who cares what anybody else says. I know my words may sound harsh but I'm just giving you a tall cold class of the truth. You can take it one of two ways.

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    • I know. I will make no excuse like this again for the next absence ill make. i'll try a diff story. Lol kidding.

      But i dont really regret it. I realized a lot of things I got from writing this during the day i skipped school. :D

      Ya. I have to be strong, i believe you. I believe in myself too.

      Thank you. This means a lot to me.

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