I'm 17, she's 18. She got a full ride to a college out of state, and I want her to know how I've felt for a while before she leaves possibly forever. Should I give her this poem? Or do you think it'd be too.. cheesy?
I’ve never been the smartest, And I’ve never been the bravest. I’ve never been the fittest, And I’ve never been courageous.
I’ve known you all my life, And I never knew my greatest, Feelings for a great friend, Who makes me feel elated.
I’m not saying I’m the best, I’m not saying I’m on the a-list. But what I’m saying is that ----, you’re the greatest.
I like it. it's sweet, heartfelt, to the point and not overly mushy. I think she'd appreciate it.
now for the grammarian and writing major in me (hope you don't mind)...
+ the first stanza is the best. the flow is great it's self-actualized
- in the final line change 'You're the greatest' to "you are the greatest". it flows better with your meter and contractions often seem strange in poetry - you could also move 'that' in the 2nd to last line to the final line. just repeat both to yourself to determine which sounds best -lastly. if you can find a synonym for greatest you may want to maybe you could use it in place of greatest in 2nd stanza 2nd line or the last line simply because you already used greatest once
very good work though. I can't imagine she wouldn't like it